Can husband still cancel his wife's promise to God?

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Dec 6, 2019
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#1
Yes, another question about promises... in Moses' law the the husband or the father of a woman could take back his wife's promise to God:

"And if she had at all an husband, when she vowed, or uttered ought out of her lips, wherewith she bound her soul;

7 And her husband heard it, and held his peace at her in the day that he heard it: then her vows shall stand, and her bonds wherewith she bound her soul shall stand.

8 But if her husband disallowed her on the day that he heard it; then he shall make her vow which she vowed, and that which she uttered with her lips, wherewith she bound her soul, of none effect: and the LORD shall forgive her.

9 But every vow of a widow, and of her that is divorced, wherewith they have bound their souls, shall stand against her.

10 And if she vowed in her husband's house, or bound her soul by a bond with an oath;

11 And her husband heard it, and held his peace at her, and disallowed her not: then all her vows shall stand, and every bond wherewith she bound her soul shall stand.

12 But if her husband hath utterly made them void on the day he heard them; then whatsoever proceeded out of her lips concerning her vows, or concerning the bond of her soul, shall not stand: her husband hath made them void; and the LORD shall forgive her.

13 Every vow, and every binding oath to afflict the soul, her husband may establish it, or her husband may make it void." (Numbers 30.)

It's not always clear to me, which Old Testament parts concern also christians and what not (well, the easy parts are sure clear like that we need no animal sacrifices anymore because we have the sacrifice of Jesus), so what do you think can christian husband cancel his wife's promise to God? So that God is ok with it. I think maybe it could be possible, because in New covenant the wifes are still submissive to husbands. And sure husbands still today can have problems with wife's promises.
 

Dino246

Senior Member
Jun 30, 2015
25,487
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#2
Hello again...
I would encourage you to spend some time sorting out the nature and applicability of the Mosaic Law to Christians. These questions are going to dog you until you have that sorted. Read Galatians and Hebrews.

All of Scripture is for us, but Scripture was not written to us. We weren't among the crowds at the foot of Mt. Sinai when Moses received the Law. We aren't their direct descendants. The Law was not given to us, that we should be subject to it.

As part of a Christian couple, you should not be making significant promises without discussing and agreeing beforehand. This is not ancient Israel; a Christian husband has no authority to revoke a contract his wife made, and he has no authority to revoke a promise that his wife made. You are bound by the words you have spoken. Submission within marriage is a separate issue.
 

Melach

Well-known member
Mar 28, 2019
2,055
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#3
Jesus said:

Matthew 5:34 "But I say to you, make no oath at all, either by heaven, for it is the throne of God,

so based on that i would say its best to not make oaths at all. welcome to the forums i see you are from finland. God bless you and your husband. where from finland?
 
Dec 6, 2019
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#4
Thank you for welcoming me Melach. :) I'm from the capital Helsinki.

Last time this chapter 30 gave me great help, when my ex-husband didn't let me take our kids to church (and that was very important to me). When I wished to get another child, I said to God that if he lets me get pregnant, I will raise this kid like he wants, teaching him about God, taking him into parish. But then we got divorced and the officers in our country were supporting my ex-husband and he got the kids. He knew about my promise but didn't let me do what I had promised. I was feeling so bad about this and thought that God expects me anyway to do it somehow. Then I read this chapter and how it says in verse 15: "But if he shall any ways make them void after that he hath heard them; then he shall bear her iniquity. "

After some time he got a cerebral hemorrhage. I really got peace for me from reading that place and realizing that God is not demanding me things, that are impossible or life-destroying difficult. Then I didn't question this interpretation at all (and still don't). So at least that time this Bible place felt to be still adequate...
 
Dec 6, 2019
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#5
(And now I have been able to give some christian teaching to my kids anyway and can take them in church too pretty often but that's a long story...)
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
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#6
We are NOT supposed to make promises to God. That's like telling a parent, "if you get me a new bike, I'll clean my room every day." You're offering something in order to get something..
 
Dec 6, 2019
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#7
..and I add to my last answer that this question that I'm thinking this time really feels to be more difficult to me...
 
Apr 15, 2017
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#8
Yes, another question about promises... in Moses' law the the husband or the father of a woman could take back his wife's promise to God:

"And if she had at all an husband, when she vowed, or uttered ought out of her lips, wherewith she bound her soul;

7 And her husband heard it, and held his peace at her in the day that he heard it: then her vows shall stand, and her bonds wherewith she bound her soul shall stand.

8 But if her husband disallowed her on the day that he heard it; then he shall make her vow which she vowed, and that which she uttered with her lips, wherewith she bound her soul, of none effect: and the LORD shall forgive her.

9 But every vow of a widow, and of her that is divorced, wherewith they have bound their souls, shall stand against her.

10 And if she vowed in her husband's house, or bound her soul by a bond with an oath;

11 And her husband heard it, and held his peace at her, and disallowed her not: then all her vows shall stand, and every bond wherewith she bound her soul shall stand.

12 But if her husband hath utterly made them void on the day he heard them; then whatsoever proceeded out of her lips concerning her vows, or concerning the bond of her soul, shall not stand: her husband hath made them void; and the LORD shall forgive her.

13 Every vow, and every binding oath to afflict the soul, her husband may establish it, or her husband may make it void." (Numbers 30.)

It's not always clear to me, which Old Testament parts concern also christians and what not (well, the easy parts are sure clear like that we need no animal sacrifices anymore because we have the sacrifice of Jesus), so what do you think can christian husband cancel his wife's promise to God? So that God is ok with it. I think maybe it could be possible, because in New covenant the wifes are still submissive to husbands. And sure husbands still today can have problems with wife's promises.
I would say that is strange for a husband to have power over their wife as to cancel a vow that she has between God and her, but I will not say it is strange if it comes from the Lord.

But God forgives her if the husband cancels it, so maybe the husband acted in the best interest of her that the vow was not the right thing to say for this was a vow to afflict the soul, which in other words if she did not come through on the vow then she would have to be accountable to God for it that would be a negative thing for her.

Which God allows the husband to decide what is right for the wife concerning vows, and he could also make a mistake by allowing a vow that she did not keep then she would be accountable for it.

Mat 5:33 Again, ye have heard that it hath been said by them of old time, Thou shalt not forswear thyself, but shalt perform unto the Lord thine oaths:
Mat 5:34 But I say unto you, Swear not at all; neither by heaven; for it is God's throne:
Mat 5:35 Nor by the earth; for it is his footstool: neither by Jerusalem; for it is the city of the great King.
Mat 5:36 Neither shalt thou swear by thy head, because thou canst not make one hair white or black.
Mat 5:37 But let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil.

But in the New Testament it does not apply for we are not to promise an oath at all to God no matter what it is, and not to promise even if it is between us and people, for we do not know if we will keep that promise for we are flesh, and the only one we know for sure will keep promises is God and will never fail, or go back on a promise.

How many people have promised but did not come through, many of them, which take marriage alone for example which is millions of them, let alone all the other promises, and vows that were broken.

But how serious does God take vows that we say we will do concerning Him and do not do it, which this is an example.

Act 5:1 But a certain man named Ananias, with Sapphira his wife, sold a possession,
Act 5:2 And kept back part of the price, his wife also being privy to it, and brought a certain part, and laid it at the apostles' feet.
Act 5:3 But Peter said, Ananias, why hath Satan filled thine heart to lie to the Holy Ghost, and to keep back part of the price of the land?
Act 5:4 Whiles it remained, was it not thine own? and after it was sold, was it not in thine own power? why hast thou conceived this thing in thine heart? thou hast not lied unto men, but unto God.
Act 5:5 And Ananias hearing these words fell down, and gave up the ghost: and great fear came on all them that heard these things.
Act 5:6 And the young men arose, wound him up, and carried him out, and buried him.
Act 5:7 And it was about the space of three hours after, when his wife, not knowing what was done, came in.
Act 5:8 And Peter answered unto her, Tell me whether ye sold the land for so much? And she said, Yea, for so much.
Act 5:9 Then Peter said unto her, How is it that ye have agreed together to tempt the Spirit of the Lord? behold, the feet of them which have buried thy husband are at the door, and shall carry thee out.
Act 5:10 Then fell she down straightway at his feet, and yielded up the ghost: and the young men came in, and found her dead, and, carrying her forth, buried her by her husband.
Act 5:11 And great fear came upon all the church, and upon as many as heard these things.

God does not drop people because they do not give to the Church, or sells lands, or houses, and do not give to the poor and needy, for that is up to us, for God said whatever we purpose in our own heart give that.

Peter told them it was in their own power to do with the land whatever they wanted to do with it, and they could of sold the land and kept all the money for themselves, and not given a dime away if they wanted to do that, and would of been alright.

But they did not make this vow to people to sell the land and give to the disciples to distribute to the poor and needy, but they made the vow to God to sell the land and give all the money to the disciples, and they did not do it but kept some of the money which was their downfall.

If they kept 20 percent of the money, but they promised God to give the disciples 80 percent, and keep 20 percent they would of been alright.

But they promised it all and kept some of the money so they were judged right on earth.

Many of them probably did not make a vow to God to do it for more could of kept some of the money, but because they did not make a vow to God concerning the money they were alright.

Which Jesus teaches us in the New Testament not to make a vow unto God concerning anything, so the disciples would of known that and I am sure if they did not understand the disciples would of explained that to them, do not make a vow unto God concerning what we are doing.

Although love is the fulfilling of the law which includes feeding and caring about the poor, and God only blesses us with our needs, and not our wants, and the love of money is the root of all evil for it neglects the poor and needy, and the saints should sell all their things that is not a necessity and give to the poor and needy, God does not drop people if they do not do these things.

Just do not make a vow unto God concerning anything for if you do not come through then you will be accountable not that God would judge on earth for it, but they will be accountable in the afterlife if they do not repent of it.
 
Dec 6, 2019
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#9
I don't know if it's a vow or not but I think also these days it's quite common, that people in bad and dangerous places make promises to God. That they will become believers if God saves them or something like that. That they will become better persons or start preaching gospel. That's quite natural for a human being who is for example afraid that he/she is possibly dying soon.

I think maybe the reason why husband had the right to annul his wife's vow was that the wife's vow would have had some effects to husband's life too, that he didn't want. So it was natural that as the head he had right to say no. And if that is the case, the situation can sure be same nowadays too. That's why I thought it's a good question if it could go this way today too...
 

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
Sep 17, 2018
4,061
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#10
I don't know if it's a vow or not but I think also these days it's quite common, that people in bad and dangerous places make promises to God. That they will become believers if God saves them or something like that. That they will become better persons or start preaching gospel. That's quite natural for a human being who is for example afraid that he/she is possibly dying soon.

I think maybe the reason why husband had the right to annul his wife's vow was that the wife's vow would have had some effects to husband's life too, that he didn't want. So it was natural that as the head he had right to say no. And if that is the case, the situation can sure be same nowadays too. That's why I thought it's a good question if it could go this way today too...
You're living your life under religious law. Being saved isn't about obeying the law. You are living your life as works based, which is unbilical. As long as you continue trying to live under old Jewish law, rather than under the New Covenant that frees from the law, you will constantly be dealing with these works based issues. Which has already been proven man is incapable of doing, hence why Jesus died.
You are placing yourself in the bondage Christ died to free people of. It makes me wonder what you're teaching your children.
 
Nov 16, 2019
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#11
so what do you think can christian husband cancel his wife's promise to God? So that God is ok with it. I think maybe it could be possible, because in New covenant the wifes are still submissive to husbands. And sure husbands still today can have problems with wife's promises.
I think maybe the reason why husband had the right to annul his wife's vow was that the wife's vow would have had some effects to husband's life too, that he didn't want.
This is another example of how the law is a type and shadow of Christ. Christ, the husband, is able to cancel the vow his bride made to the old covenant.
 
Dec 6, 2019
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#12
Also apostole Paul obeyed Moses' law's teaching about promises to God:

"Paul stayed on in Corinth for some time. Then he left the brothers and sisters and sailed for Syria, accompanied by Priscilla and Aquila. Before he sailed, he had his hair cut off at Cenchreae because of a vow he had taken." (Acts 18:18)

And Paul was the expert of the freedom in Christ...
 
Dec 6, 2019
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#13
Can I still ask why we should think this Bible place isn't valid anymore? Many other places that we think when we are talking about promises to God, are from Old Testament also. Like the place from Ecclesiastics that we should not Make promises, or that if we do, we shouldn't be slow with them.. these are all in Old Testament too. Or from Leviticus 5. The teaching about swearing accidently and how that is forgiven. I think we keep quoting all these places too...
 

Chester

Senior Member
May 23, 2016
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#14
Can I still ask why we should think this Bible place isn't valid anymore? Many other places that we think when we are talking about promises to God, are from Old Testament also. Like the place from Ecclesiastics that we should not Make promises, or that if we do, we shouldn't be slow with them.. these are all in Old Testament too. Or from Leviticus 5. The teaching about swearing accidently and how that is forgiven. I think we keep quoting all these places too...
You say "we" keep quoting all these places? Not sure who the "we" is - I don't quote them nor do the people in my church quote them as laws for us today.
 
Dec 6, 2019
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#15
But what comes to the submissiveness of wives/women, apostole Paul appeals to the law (obviously from Old Testament, Genesis?):

"Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law.” (1. Cor. 14:34)
 

GaryA

Truth, Honesty, Love, Courage
Aug 10, 2019
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#16
But what comes to the submissiveness of wives/women, apostole Paul appeals to the law (obviously from Old Testament, Genesis?):

"Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law.” (1. Cor. 14:34)
By saying "as also saith the law", Paul is not saying "you are under the law"; rather, he is making reference to it in support of the idea that "the principle still holds" (i.e. - "in like manner...").

Now - back to your question...

In the New Testament, that same principle exists in the form of the husband being "the head of the wife" (Ephesians 5:23) - because, he is responsible for her before God.

(There is more to it than just this; however, there is no need to get into all of it - for the sake of the context of this thread.)

By comparison:

~ the 'old law' is "the letter of the law"

~ the 'new law' is "the spirit of the law"

Romans 7:

6 But now we are delivered from the law, that being dead wherein we were held; that we should serve in newness of spirit, and not in the oldness of the letter.
 

Adstar

Senior Member
Jul 24, 2016
7,585
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#17
Can I still ask why we should think this Bible place isn't valid anymore? Many other places that we think when we are talking about promises to God, are from Old Testament also. Like the place from Ecclesiastics that we should not Make promises, or that if we do, we shouldn't be slow with them.. these are all in Old Testament too. Or from Leviticus 5. The teaching about swearing accidently and how that is forgiven. I think we keep quoting all these places too...
The verses are still the truth.. But Jesus said Not to make oaths.. Christians should not make oaths.. Now if people do make an Oath then they should perform them to God like Paul did.. Note the Bible did not say when Paul made his Oath.. Paul was a very religious Jew before he became a Christian.. He may have made a number of oaths before he became a Christian..

At any rate an Oath to God not kept is a sin but as the Gospel of Jesus reveals all sins will be forgiven those who believe Jesus and trust in the Atonement He secured.. So a Christian failing to honor an Oath can have that sin forgiven by the Atonement of the LORD Jesus Christ..
 
Dec 6, 2019
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#18
One more question guys... would you yourself support your wife in fulfilling her promise, IF that would mean you should let big part of your home's property go into garbage? For example she has promised to put away all made in China products from your home because they persecute christians and HongKong people in China and are kind of qonquering the world and getting rich and powerful with all their cheep products so that all people want to please them. But after this promise you and your wife realize that you must throw away almost all electronics, clothes and furniture from your home, tv, computer... Would you be supporting her in this? Or would you be happy to find a Bible place that tells that the husband can say no to his wife's promise? .... Or would you simply divorce from her or what?
 
Dec 6, 2019
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#19
Maybe your wife would not have time or power to do anything else at home in long time... your not believing friends would think you are crazy... and some believing friends too.. you would be afraid about your kids and when child protection services knock on your door. Almost all children's toys should be destroyed too.