God, please let me let go.....

Hello Brothers and Sisters in Christ. Currently I am in the process of going through a divorce. My heart is broken because this was brought about but my own sin. I can’t remember when I have had so much pain and angst. Every night I cry and ask the Lord for his mercy and grace.

God striped me of my comfort because I had fallen away so far. Because of my iniquities, God needed to show me that I was on a path to spiritual death. Now that I have fully submitted to HIS will and I know I will face more trials and tribulations.

What’s been most difficult is that she moved and out and I stayed behind in the environment of memories. 18 years worth. The Lord has instructed me to be a servant to her as we have 4 children. Do want she asks says the Sprit. This not as much for her benefit as it is God testing me, seeing if am being obedient to His will no matter how painful it is.

What I am finding to heart-aching is she becoming more worldly while I am willing to forgo such. She is more infatuated with winning the praise of people and “Doing Her own thing.” I know only God can speak to a persons heart and I want her to wake up and see that this path will only lead to desolation.

How do I let go of her? How do I put my feelings aside and let the Lord have control? By submission to His will. That’s how. It’s very hard to do, but I know I’m clinging to a dead past. Oh Lord, hear my cries and let me be embraced by your grace for I’m a very sad man. God bless you all!

The Lord has already begun to work His grace through me. 16 years ago I was supposedly “Born again”. For a few years I thought I was walking the walk, but in actuality I was the seed that fell on the path.

I have been through two divorces. One after 16 years, the other after 20. Keep you focus on Christ and He will guide you always. Never speak ill of you ex-wife.

Great attitude Aerials1978, you have blessed me .. I'm 66 and went through a time so dark when I was in my 30's my mind was so tormented that I didn't know what to do , I decided to get back in church every time the doors were open, fought demons that constantly flew at my mind like birds of prey, even demon spirits suggested U NO WAT a time or two, those damned liars , then 4-5 months later I realized things were looking pretty good again and I had disciplined my mind with spiritual warfare and Jesus and He walked us right on out of that valley .... I had probably been a Christian ''but slack'' about 10 yrs .. That Jesus of Nazareth is quite a fellow ..

My heart sank when I read this. I was in your situation about 9 years ago. I think loco's advice is really good. Pray then try to reconcile with her first. Do everything in your might to save your marriage. God hates divorce and I know why now more than ever. I can understand being critical of her due to frustrations or a hurt heart even though it's not the right thing to do. In order to reconcile you will have to ask God to help you let the past go, listen to her feelings and be understanding, and work hard on changing what you need to do to win her over again. I personally was relieved for a long time then I felt guilty. We never should have got a divorce and tried to work it out but quitting was the easier way (definitely not the right way). I miss having a family to come home to. God has a great plan for your life. Try to do the right thing and God will lead the way. God Bless you brother!

Thank you so much for your post. God does hate divorce, but I was spiritually dying. God is more interested in saving my soul as opposed to saving my marriage. He had to allow it to dissolve in order to bring me into His presence. I know God has a plan for me as He does for everyone. I just need to listen and allow Him to guide me no matter how difficult it may be. My eyes are for eternity. I think about that everyday. God Bless you Bother.

I'll leave you with two verses...

Matthew 19:6 New International Version (NIV)
6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

Matthew 19:26 New International Version (NIV)
26 Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

I totally understand what you are going through, as I have had those same thoughts. I will say I wish I fought for the marriage more. God will show us what to do when we seek Him first.

Bother, it’s only by Gods grace that I’m not in jail, rehab, or dead. I still have my job and children. I have to allow God to work His ways. Right now, our Father is saying “Be still”

Even in the midst of our darkest, deepest, indescribable pain God will never leave us nor forsake us. One definition of forsake is to emotionally leave. Even if you just grab ahold of one, just one promise in his Word, and cling to it, God will provide comfort and release.

Speaking from experience, divorce brings a gamut of emotions. My experience with divorce happened as an unbeliever, but the repercussions followed me into my Christian walk. Meaning I still had wounds and patterns of behavior that needed to be dealt with. Here was the process God led me through.

1. Grieve the loss. For me this meant acknowledging the pain and not running from it. I spent a lot of time just crying until I couldn’t anymore alone with Jesus. This brought me to a place where God could begin to heal me.

2. Look at unhealthy patterns. Pray and ask God to help break those chains. It is usually a process, but sometimes it can happen immediately.

3. Work on building a new life with a renewed sense of all the possibilities God has for your life. This might mean reconciliation with your wife. Impossible to know at this point. For myself this meant releasing my future into God’s hands.

Hoping this can be of some help to you. And if not, well, it was for me to remember God’s goodness and care. 😊