I have been singel the last 10 years.

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Nobody87

Nobody87

New member
#1
Jun 16, 2019
2
2
3
#1
Dear sisters and brothers in Christ.

With my bad English, I hope you understand my point :)

When I was 18 I fell in love and after only 2 month we married. I got a beautiful son, but the marriage was very hard.

After only 5 years I decided to divorce.

Today I am 34 and have been living alone after divorce. But, it is one thing I do not understand.

Why many Christians try to change my mind and say: it is ok to get married again. I am so disagree. The Bible is clear, after divorce you need to live alone or go back to your first husband.

Then other try to ask, why I left my husband. It's like they will try to find something wrong on him and explain that in this case; I was free to go.

I am not judge others who is divorce. It is not up to my, but only God knows heards and the situation. But for my life, I see that I did mistake when I married with my husband. And I belive that the only right is to live alone.

Why so many Christians try to changes my opinion?
 
BrotherMike

BrotherMike

Be Still and Know
#2
Jan 8, 2018
1,617
1,671
113
#2
I wouldn’t change your opinion. If God tells you to not remarry again don’t do it. It’s your choice and your life. Keep on following what the Holy Spirit guides you to do.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#3
Aug 13, 2014
25,356
8,383
113
#3
Howdy Nobody. I'm a nobody too. (It's a lot less stressful.) :)

They keep trying to change your mind because they assume you are miserable as a single person. That's a mistake a lot of people make about single people. They think you should find happiness with a spouse, so they keep trying to argue you into finding a new spouse.

The reason they keep asking about what your husband did is, if they can justify you divorcing him because he was a really bad man, then they can justify you getting married again. Again, it's part of their effort to help you find happiness.

If you're happy being single, ignore them. If you believe you should stay single according to the Bible, ignore them.

Also ignore most of the advice you will read on an internet forum, because you have no idea what kind of person said it. Including my advice. I strongly recommend ignoring my advice if it ever contradicts what the Bible says.

At any rate, welcome to the forum.
 
BrotherMike

BrotherMike

Be Still and Know
#4
Jan 8, 2018
1,617
1,671
113
#4
I think of this verse...

Proverbs 21:2 New International Version (NIV)
2 A person may think their own ways are right,
but the Lord weighs the heart.

Lynx has some excellent advice. We all chime in and give our thoughts and opinions, don’t take it to personal.
 
Dino246

Dino246

Senior Member
#5
Jun 30, 2015
24,831
13,449
113
#5
Nobody87 said:
Dear sisters and brothers in Christ.

Why so many Christians try to changes my opinion?
Click to expand...
Welcome to CC!

It's because their opinion is that your opinion is incorrect.

Mind you, that's just my opinion. ;)
 
Nobody87

Nobody87

New member
#6
Jun 16, 2019
2
2
3
#6
Thank you for answers 🙂

Amazing, how many wise word is written here. :) You are so lovely.

I'm working as missionary and meet many people on my way. I pray that people which I meet see Christ and His love thru me.

Some month ago, my best friend told my that she would divorce from hers husband. I felt so sad about hers decision. They have two great children, which I have known since they was small. I tried to talk with her, but got back answers like: You did self divorce from your husband, why do you advice me to do something else?

I saw how hers decision heart hers husband and hers children. And now I see how hard life she self have today.

It is not easy to be alone. Special when I do not have much family around me. But I chose to be alone, because of Gods word and because of serving Him with my life 🙂

Thank you for your answers 😊
 
Deade

Deade

Called of God
#7
Dec 17, 2017
16,724
10,530
113
78
Vinita, Oklahoma, USA
yeshuaofisrael.org
#7
Nobody87 said:
Dear sisters and brothers in Christ.

With my bad English, I hope you understand my point :)

When I was 18 I fell in love and after only 2 month we married. I got a beautiful son, but the marriage was very hard.

After only 5 years I decided to divorce.

Today I am 34 and have been living alone after divorce. But, it is one thing I do not understand.

Why many Christians try to change my mind and say: it is ok to get married again. I am so disagree. The Bible is clear, after divorce you need to live alone or go back to your first husband.

Then other try to ask, why I left my husband. It's like they will try to find something wrong on him and explain that in this case; I was free to go.

I am not judge others who is divorce. It is not up to my, but only God knows heards and the situation. But for my life, I see that I did mistake when I married with my husband. And I belive that the only right is to live alone.

Why so many Christians try to changes my opinion?
Click to expand...
Well, Nobody, I will say that we are only allowed 1 sanctified marriage as believers. If you were both Holy Spirit anointed Christians when you married at 18, then you marriage was valid. If either one of you was not a believer, then that is a different case. You friends might know this.

If you we the only anointed believer in your marriage and you ask God to sanctify your marriage, I would not ask Him to sanction another. If you were not with Christ at the time you were married, then you never had a sanctioned union. It is up to you and the Holy Spirit to decide what to do from this point. He never steers us wrong. :D
 
cinder

cinder

Senior Member
#8
Mar 26, 2014
4,381
2,389
113
#8
In addition to what everyone else has said:

I think if you tell your whole story to people what they hear is that you are single because you believe you cannot marry rather than because you want to be or believe that God has called you to be for the time being. You may get fewer people trying to change your mind if you frame it as your choice rather than a restriction.

As for your friend, I'm reminded of the story Philip Yancey told ( I think it was in what's so amazing about grace) about the guy who wanted to leave his wife for another woman and said something to the effect of, I know it's wrong; can God forgive me for doing so? The wise answer that proved all too accurate was, if you can do this thing knowing it's wrong and knowing the hurt you will cause, are you going to be the kind of person who will ask for forgiveness especially if that involves repentance.
 
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