Divorced christian

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oksana123

oksana123

New member
#1
Feb 16, 2020
23
17
3
#1
Hi everyone. I am wondering for those who have gone through a painful divorce. How did you get through it. I noticed since I got divorced that there aren't a lot of support groups in church or counseling for those who have gone through divorces. It's very difficult to find a place where you fit in. For people who don't know my story I was married to a man for 4 years. During the time from the very beginning he mistreated me and repeatedly cheated on me. He believed that I would never leave him. For a while I stayed because I was afraid that people would judge me for not working on my marriage and so the abuse continued. He would come home sometimes at 3 am and sometimes at 4, yell at me, and take all the money I earned often leaving me hungry and without gas so I couldn't go anywhere. after 4 years one day he kicked me and our 2 year old out of the house without any clothes or anything to take and moved his girlfriend in posting on social media that he was in a relationship with someone else. I applied for a divorce. now I'm struggling to rebuild my life do people have any suggestions as to what helped them. I find that it's difficult to wear the divorced label. In church a lot of times people look at you differently.
 
Belka

Belka

Junior Member
#2
Aug 24, 2017
226
231
43
#2
Thanks for sharing your heart with us, Oksana. I have never been through a divorce, so can't quite counsel you on this from experience. But I hope that others will chime in and share their experiences.

The basic idea that comes to mind is "focus on the Lord and serving others" but I'm sure you've heard it before and that you know all this.

Other than that, have you heard about soul ties...? You might want to cut yours with your now ex-husband, in the name of Jesus. I suggest praying that out loud regularly and also praying FOR your ex-husband because when you pray for someone else, the antagonistic feelings are subdued...

Here is just one example among many on how to pray to break soul ties. If you are already doing this, praise God! It really does help (I speak from experience on that one). It can require a bit of time but it *will* eventually bear fruit and give you freedom... So don't give up.

I hope this helps a little bit. And although I've never been in your situation, I just want to say that I'm here for you if you ever need someone to talk to that won't judge you! You *will* get through this, dear sister. Don't give up hope! God is with you... He is able and willing to restore every part of you that was broken. <3
 
StrugglingTilMyReward

StrugglingTilMyReward

Well-known member
#4
Aug 10, 2019
552
437
63
Canada
#4
oksana123 said:
Hi everyone. I am wondering for those who have gone through a painful divorce. How did you get through it. I noticed since I got divorced that there aren't a lot of support groups in church or counseling for those who have gone through divorces. It's very difficult to find a place where you fit in. For people who don't know my story I was married to a man for 4 years. During the time from the very beginning he mistreated me and repeatedly cheated on me. He believed that I would never leave him. For a while I stayed because I was afraid that people would judge me for not working on my marriage and so the abuse continued. He would come home sometimes at 3 am and sometimes at 4, yell at me, and take all the money I earned often leaving me hungry and without gas so I couldn't go anywhere. after 4 years one day he kicked me and our 2 year old out of the house without any clothes or anything to take and moved his girlfriend in posting on social media that he was in a relationship with someone else. I applied for a divorce. now I'm struggling to rebuild my life do people have any suggestions as to what helped them. I find that it's difficult to wear the divorced label. In church a lot of times people look at you differently.
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I am divorced and remarried....and if I might be so bold as to offer some advice, I think I have some thoughts that might help.

Firstly I would suggest not to concern yourself with how the people at church view you...everyone has struggles and while we're called to treat others with grace, sometimes its difficult to know how to do that, forgive them.

Secondly I might suggest that this is an opportunity to get to know yourself, and to see yourself as our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ sees you. He sees you as clean, pure and white as snow without blemish. Its easier said than done.....everyone knows their own failings, we all have self esteem issues. Seeing yourself as Jesus sees you though, it can be a tremendous gift.

You have a little one to look after, and that little one loves you more than any person on Earth. Spend some time in scripture, daily if you're able. Here's a link to some verses that might help:

https://www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com/7-good-bible-verses-to-help-cope-with-a-divorce/

Bottom line, know that you're loved and wanted by an awesome God.

I pray you find peace, joy and happiness, without rain we wouldn't appreciate the sunshine.
 
Dino246

Dino246

Senior Member
#5
Jun 30, 2015
25,489
13,797
113
#5
oksana123 said:
Hi everyone. I am wondering for those who have gone through a painful divorce. How did you get through it. I noticed since I got divorced that there aren't a lot of support groups in church or counseling for those who have gone through divorces. It's very difficult to find a place where you fit in. For people who don't know my story I was married to a man for 4 years. During the time from the very beginning he mistreated me and repeatedly cheated on me. He believed that I would never leave him. For a while I stayed because I was afraid that people would judge me for not working on my marriage and so the abuse continued. He would come home sometimes at 3 am and sometimes at 4, yell at me, and take all the money I earned often leaving me hungry and without gas so I couldn't go anywhere. after 4 years one day he kicked me and our 2 year old out of the house without any clothes or anything to take and moved his girlfriend in posting on social media that he was in a relationship with someone else. I applied for a divorce. now I'm struggling to rebuild my life do people have any suggestions as to what helped them. I find that it's difficult to wear the divorced label. In church a lot of times people look at you differently.
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Hello and welcome to CC, Oksana123...
I'm sorry that you went through all that. It certainly was not God's will for you. Being divorced can be challenging in the Church; some people don't even want to befriend a divorced person. I know; I was divorced too.

May I suggest that you sign up for the daily devotional from DivorceCare.org. It's an email-based nugget of encouragement, Scripture, and relevant advice for those in the struggle. I found it very helpful, even though I didn't sign up until well after my marriage ended.

I'm glad you dropped by, and hope you find some encouraging friends here. :)
 
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