I depressed myself this morning.

I'm 47, and I don't know what happens to a man, as I get older I become more and more sentimental. So as a lye in bed this morning early it occurred to me that as I have lived my life, moving from place to place that a lot of people have moved through my life. At the time those people where in my life I felt as though I had made strong deep connections, but it wasn't true. In fact many of the names have even slipped my memory, and they are faces attached to a memory of a series of events. I have made very few lasting friends and by that I mean 2 that I can count up. (That is besides my wife, and kiddos, and my brother). I recently talked to a person who I was sure word have cherished our time together as I did, and they didn't even remember who I was. Yes it was one summer many years ago, and I can hardly blame them. I guess moving around caused me to attach very quickly, where stability caused them to let go of those who were just passing through. Any way it depressed me. Thanks for reading this and sorry for just posting my personal mess on here. I can't say this stuff to anyone. My wife would not understand even though she would try. She is a good woman.

I'm 47, and I don't know what happens to a man, as I get older I become more and more sentimental. So as a lye in bed this morning early it occurred to me that as I have lived my life, moving from place to place that a lot of people have moved through my life. At the time those people where in my life I felt as though I had made strong deep connections, but it wasn't true. In fact many of the names have even slipped my memory, and they are faces attached to a memory of a series of events. I have made very few lasting friends and by that I mean 2 that I can count up. (That is besides my wife, and kiddos, and my brother). I recently talked to a person who I was sure word have cherished our time together as I did, and they didn't even remember who I was. Yes it was one summer many years ago, and I can hardly blame them. I guess moving around caused me to attach very quickly, where stability caused them to let go of those who were just passing through. Any way it depressed me. Thanks for reading this and sorry for just posting my personal mess on here. I can't say this stuff to anyone. My wife would not understand even though she would try. She is a good woman.

On other thing looking back to much can be a problem... we tend to idolize the past and remember it better than it actually was sometimes.

I'm 47, and I don't know what happens to a man, as I get older I become more and more sentimental. So as a lye in bed this morning early it occurred to me that as I have lived my life, moving from place to place that a lot of people have moved through my life. At the time those people where in my life I felt as though I had made strong deep connections, but it wasn't true. In fact many of the names have even slipped my memory, and they are faces attached to a memory of a series of events. I have made very few lasting friends and by that I mean 2 that I can count up. (That is besides my wife, and kiddos, and my brother). I recently talked to a person who I was sure word have cherished our time together as I did, and they didn't even remember who I was. Yes it was one summer many years ago, and I can hardly blame them. I guess moving around caused me to attach very quickly, where stability caused them to let go of those who were just passing through. Any way it depressed me. Thanks for reading this and sorry for just posting my personal mess on here. I can't say this stuff to anyone. My wife would not understand even though she would try. She is a good woman.

I learned a while ago that people don't come into my life to stick around forever. Same with me and their lives. We're passing through the lives of people so as to share a piece of ourselves with one another. And when time is up, we move on. We're not the same person we once were and prior to meeting new people after that meeting. We share ourselves and become something more for the time spent. Remembering names isn't the point. Remembering to be grateful we're never alone in this world is.
That's how I see it.

I'm 47, and I don't know what happens to a man, as I get older I become more and more sentimental. So as a lye in bed this morning early it occurred to me that as I have lived my life, moving from place to place that a lot of people have moved through my life. At the time those people where in my life I felt as though I had made strong deep connections, but it wasn't true. In fact many of the names have even slipped my memory, and they are faces attached to a memory of a series of events. I have made very few lasting friends and by that I mean 2 that I can count up. (That is besides my wife, and kiddos, and my brother). I recently talked to a person who I was sure word have cherished our time together as I did, and they didn't even remember who I was. Yes it was one summer many years ago, and I can hardly blame them. I guess moving around caused me to attach very quickly, where stability caused them to let go of those who were just passing through. Any way it depressed me. Thanks for reading this and sorry for just posting my personal mess on here. I can't say this stuff to anyone. My wife would not understand even though she would try. She is a good woman.

At every job I have had I said that I was tourist just passing through and will not pass this way again.

Were you hired after that?

I mentioned that to certain co-workers but did not mention anything like that in any hiring process. Most jobs I have had were started with the intention of making the most of it for as long as I can and always try to place myself in a promotable position. Some of my jobs lasted for years. I am fairly loyal to my employer and always give it a 100% effort no matter what the task or job description. As long as it is a win-win situation I am content to stay.

I think you and I have a lot of similarities and maybe I have something to offer here. This is just the experience from my life and I felt moved to share it.

I'm 41 and have learned that before you become a Christian, you form bonds and ties with people that are founded on non-Christian things. Before I got serious about Christ, all my relationships had things like entertainment, drinking, and whatever else in common. You don't really notice this while you're not following Christ, you just know you have friends and acquaintences and everything is what it is.

But as a Christian, priorities shift. You can only be around people for so long before an essential issue causes you to not be able to be around them. You're not engaging each other in superficialities, or playing up this or that movie or this or that thing that's going to happen. Or if you were me, you bonded over drugs or alcohol and conversation followed. You hung out with people you could do that sort of thing with.
You emphasize different things, and the behavior of other people matters. And always in the back of your mind, "Is this person going to heaven when they die?"
I mean if you're trying to follow Christ, and you're applying what's taught in scripture to your life, this is how it will be.

And the emphasis of life isn't being around other people. It's about serving Jesus, and people come and go. But the constant is Christ.

For me, I reached the crisis it seems you are going through a few years back. No friends. Just the wife and the kid, and my parents only because I have to care for my daughter at their house. And it seemed really lonely.

But I realized it's not about having friends. Sure, friends and being social is nice, but what fuels me is pursuing Christ. What keeps me going is knowing that I tried to do my part for Christ. Some days I pass out tracts, some days I just find people to pray for on Facebook or elsewhere. Some days I just try to find out how God is working in other parts of the world.

As a Christian, you have to be proactive, and seek things to do for the kingdom, and people will happen to come into your life. Maybe some lasting friendships, but this won't be your bread and butter.

What will get you out of bed and to sleep at night is not the people in your life, it's "Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and all these things will be added to you." Perhaps that can mean serving the people in your life (especially your wife). But I hope you get the idea.

From someone who was saved from suicidal depression and drug addiction, having gone through something it sounds like you are going through, that's what I have to offer. Maybe it will help .

Sounds like you have a lot of self importance things going on. Then again, you said you move around a lot and people move through your life as you move around. It doesn't matter if people don't remember our name. At least that's how I see it if I find someone forgot that about me. I think what matters is what we did and who we were when we were in the lives of one another.
We help each other out when we come together. Strangers, friends, family, workmates, we all share a piece of ourselves with one another. Names aren't who we are.

I feel compelled to share this with you too. Have you thought about journaling? Keeping a journal? My wife was big on that. She has these little cloth covered books that she shelves in her library. However many it takes to cover the whole year. One or a dozen.
I found out she can write everything she bottles up by sharing it with one of her best friends, the journal.
I know this because when she and her bestie decided to tell me she wasn't happy in our marriage and wanted out, bestie walked its way to the top of the dryer in our laundry when it was my day to do the family wash.

She wanted me to read that page. I think she wouldn't have minded had I read every page before that one. Because I did. If she minded then that is a secret between me and her bff.
We're men. We're taught how to be everything we turn out to be by our dad. If he kept crap buried inside likely we will too. All that.

Don't worry about making the impression that lets people remember your name. I'd say worry about making a difference everywhere you go.

OK, I'm tired of sounding like a therapist. I hope you feel better.

I don't know how much "self importance" I have going on.
But thank you for your input and time, and sharing you experience. God bless and keep you forever. Amen.

My wife would not understand even though she would try. She is a good woman.