Hi i am new here and would like to be around others who share similar beliefs

Good morning everyone i wish you’re all getting through these trying times and doing what you can to help. i am here because i feel this feeling of emptiness and my faith is being tested. i want to believe and let this scared feeling of anxiety go but i dont know how to start and or where to start. my partner and i can’t ever talk about God because he doesn’t want to talk about him or he believes he died 3 times and never had no experience. there were no lights or singing and to him that convinced him there is nothing after this life or in this life helping us. i feel alone because the few friends i have i am not close with yet and the people who knew me over time called me crazy for my thoughts including my partner. it hurts to feel like i am trying hard to live a better and faithful way of life but i have nobody but my sister (ever grateful for but she is a busy woman) when i have questions. i have tried fb groups asking questions and got booted/blocked because apparently there is a fine line between being an indigenous person with beliefs of my traditions and the beliefs of a christian. i don’t want to feel that what happened to my parents in residential school was the work of God. many indigenous people don’t believe in God because of the things that’s happened in those schools including my partner’s family. both my parents hardships have impacted their parenting and as a result i don’t know my own language, culture and traditional ways. its actually really sad because i feel lost inside and thats the pain my people feel who share my age group. i will admit i battled alcoholism and struggle with anxiety today.... i don’t live in my home community because the corruption is visible, the water and to get a house of your own is hard. its easier to move away and try to be a part of society. i find that every time i go to a church they almost treat me as if i am in need or poor. i am neither, but when i talk and think out loud i am too much and nobody who asked for my number from church calls me or texts after i’ve shared my number... i am very sorry if i had said anything offensive, that wasn’t my intention. i am just lost right now and the man i love i cant talk to about these things.

what i am mostly struggling with is if followers of God is accepting and loving, why is there so much hate and racism towards each other by people who claim to be followers of faith. like how the young man mocked an elder praying with his drum and it went viral? or how all the people who say they have Jesus in their hearts but have no room for indians? im saddened by this and it honestly makes me feel lost with my faith.

Welcome aboard CC Darlene_m

I am always open to questions from Sisters and Brothers in Christ.. Hope you get the most out of this forum.. May you be blessed..

Oh and be careful.. There are some questionable people in here spreading wonky doctrines and beliefs.. May the LORD cause you to know when one of those wolves in sheep's clothing is whispering in your ears..

Oh and PS: I forgot to ask what Native heritage are you? I am an Australian and you sound like you could be an Australian Aboriginal ?

Good morning everyone i wish you’re all getting through these trying times and doing what you can to help. i am here because i feel this feeling of emptiness and my faith is being tested. i want to believe and let this scared feeling of anxiety go but i dont know how to start and or where to start. my partner and i can’t ever talk about God because he doesn’t want to talk about him or he believes he died 3 times and never had no experience. there were no lights or singing and to him that convinced him there is nothing after this life or in this life helping us. i feel alone because the few friends i have i am not close with yet and the people who knew me over time called me crazy for my thoughts including my partner. it hurts to feel like i am trying hard to live a better and faithful way of life but i have nobody but my sister (ever grateful for but she is a busy woman) when i have questions. i have tried fb groups asking questions and got booted/blocked because apparently there is a fine line between being an indigenous person with beliefs of my traditions and the beliefs of a christian. i don’t want to feel that what happened to my parents in residential school was the work of God. many indigenous people don’t believe in God because of the things that’s happened in those schools including my partner’s family. both my parents hardships have impacted their parenting and as a result i don’t know my own language, culture and traditional ways. its actually really sad because i feel lost inside and thats the pain my people feel who share my age group. i will admit i battled alcoholism and struggle with anxiety today.... i don’t live in my home community because the corruption is visible, the water and to get a house of your own is hard. its easier to move away and try to be a part of society. i find that every time i go to a church they almost treat me as if i am in need or poor. i am neither, but when i talk and think out loud i am too much and nobody who asked for my number from church calls me or texts after i’ve shared my number... i am very sorry if i had said anything offensive, that wasn’t my intention. i am just lost right now and the man i love i cant talk to about these things.

Hey Darlene___m, nice to meet you. I used to have anxiety. But God tapped me on the shoulder and said, "Hey boy, the world isn't what you think it is." So I said to myself, if God is right then I can do things I want to do but think I can't. So I said to myself, Okay, I"m going to go to university, and I did. Then I said to myself, I'm going to go up town and wear my ugliest clothes, and I did, and I felt great after doing it. I've done all of these crazy things I thought I couldn't do and I thought would hurt me. And guess what? I came out better off and I lost my anxiety and I didn't get hurt.

People are gonna hate on you no matter where you are. As long as you don't hate on yourself. Love yourself first and then you can love others better.

Even on these forums you will feel like others are putting you down and that's okay. It doesn't matter. What matters is that you get closer and closer to God. People are going to read this post and think criticizing thoughts. But I don't care. I'm frikken awesome and I know I have God, which is what matters most.

I am also indigenous and a lot of bad stuff happened to my people and we are still messed up from it. But here's what I say, That stuff didn't happen to me directly and my ancestors would want me to be happy and live a good life. I'm thankful for where me and my people are now. And I'm moving forward.

Peace and love from New Zealand.

Hey Darlene___m, nice to meet you. I used to have anxiety. But God tapped me on the shoulder and said, "Hey boy, the world isn't what you think it is." So I said to myself, if God is right then I can do things I want to do but think I can't. So I said to myself, Okay, I"m going to go to university, and I did. Then I said to myself, I'm going to go up town and wear my ugliest clothes, and I did, and I felt great after doing it. I've done all of these crazy things I thought I couldn't do and I thought would hurt me. And guess what? I came out better off and I lost my anxiety and I didn't get hurt.

People are gonna hate on you no matter where you are. As long as you don't hate on yourself. Love yourself first and then you can love others better.

Even on these forums you will feel like others are putting you down and that's okay. It doesn't matter. What matters is that you get closer and closer to God. People are going to read this post and think criticizing thoughts. But I don't care. I'm frikken awesome and I know I have God, which is what matters most.

I am also indigenous and a lot of bad stuff happened to my people and we are still messed up from it. But here's what I say, That stuff didn't happen to me directly and my ancestors would want me to be happy and live a good life. I'm thankful for where me and my people are now. And I'm moving forward.

Peace and love from New Zealand.

awe lol i love the picture! thank you for that i enjoyed reading what you wrote. it is very hard to not care and carry on acting like if i dont think about it it won’t bother me. but after 4 years i am having a hard time now accepting that my man refuses to even listen to my views and still can’t hold a conversation on something i want to talk about. i listen to him and ask him questions about what he likes to talk about and to see how happy he gets when he explains things to me is nice. i enjoy every detail he puts into rebuilding cars n what he puts together at work! he has passion for that and right now im a stay at home mother trying my hardest to teach my step children the love of God. to me thats my passion, learning and reading about spirituality and faith, his children were 8 & 6 when they moved in with us and were raised by their grandma who spoiled them and laughed about god saying what did he do for us ? look what he did to our people!
to me thats passing on hatred and planting the seed of racism. his mom raised my man to see it that way too so right now im having a hard time trying to teach him that we aren’t alone and that empty feeling isn’t supposed to be there. our children have a fighting chance to not have that emptiness. they use to laugh when i prayed with them but now my step daughter can recite the whole our father by herself and my step son is still kinda refusing to care but enjoys the laughter and the good things we say from praying out loud. my concern is he said you can believe and do whatever ypu want but don’t force that shit in my life( when he’s saying this its yelling and angry) loud enough for my stepson to hear... i said its dangerous to blow out that little light he has inside because he loves you and wants to be like you. when you say you don’t believe he hears that and will follow you and his little light will go out for who knows how long. i have 5 children, 20,14,12,10, &5. only the 3 youngest live with us.

Good morning everyone i wish you’re all getting through these trying times and doing what you can to help. i am here because i feel this feeling of emptiness and my faith is being tested. i want to believe and let this scared feeling of anxiety go but i dont know how to start and or where to start. my partner and i can’t ever talk about God because he doesn’t want to talk about him or he believes he died 3 times and never had no experience. there were no lights or singing and to him that convinced him there is nothing after this life or in this life helping us. i feel alone because the few friends i have i am not close with yet and the people who knew me over time called me crazy for my thoughts including my partner. it hurts to feel like i am trying hard to live a better and faithful way of life but i have nobody but my sister (ever grateful for but she is a busy woman) when i have questions. i have tried fb groups asking questions and got booted/blocked because apparently there is a fine line between being an indigenous person with beliefs of my traditions and the beliefs of a christian. i don’t want to feel that what happened to my parents in residential school was the work of God. many indigenous people don’t believe in God because of the things that’s happened in those schools including my partner’s family. both my parents hardships have impacted their parenting and as a result i don’t know my own language, culture and traditional ways. its actually really sad because i feel lost inside and thats the pain my people feel who share my age group. i will admit i battled alcoholism and struggle with anxiety today.... i don’t live in my home community because the corruption is visible, the water and to get a house of your own is hard. its easier to move away and try to be a part of society. i find that every time i go to a church they almost treat me as if i am in need or poor. i am neither, but when i talk and think out loud i am too much and nobody who asked for my number from church calls me or texts after i’ve shared my number... i am very sorry if i had said anything offensive, that wasn’t my intention. i am just lost right now and the man i love i cant talk to about these things.

Yeah I must admit it is quite hard and it took me maybe 5 years at least to get to a good point. But keep on going girl. My ex wife wasn't into God as well, that's why she's my ex wife haha. I know it's tough, I've got three children who I'm teaching about God and I can see it's paying off already. The bible is awesome and it has good ways to live by in it. God can always give you heaps of power to get through the stuff you want to get through. I know what it's like to have to battle the evil that you don't want in your family. In the end, I put it all in God's hands and I keep reading the bible and talking to God and following Jesus' ways. It all turns out nice.

One thing I think about though is how the disciples (I think it was) were in the boat with Jesus and the sea was choppy. And Jesus was asleep in the back and the disciples were freaking out. You know that one? Well I tell myself that I don't want to freak out in life because that would be disrespectful to Jesus haha. Control the mind, keep telling yourself to relax. Push through. Leave the hard stuff to God, he's quite capable haha. Cruise on through.

Hi Darlene_m and I'm glad the Lord led you to CC right now. I was also married to an unbeliever, but at the end he changed to Christ. Never underestimate the power of intercessory prayer. God is for us and not against us and is faithful when we pray. God bless and keep you and your family!

what i am mostly struggling with is if followers of God is accepting and loving, why is there so much hate and racism towards each other by people who claim to be followers of faith. like how the young man mocked an elder praying with his drum and it went viral? or how all the people who say they have Jesus in their hearts but have no room for indians? im saddened by this and it honestly makes me feel lost with my faith.

HI Darlene,

Many people feel lost, I am a mixed race person, who found Jesus independent of "Christians" or Churches, my suggestion is you turn away from the things that cause anxiety, and walk to the ideas and word of God. Look to the bible, keep sharing here and with sincere people of faith. Life is a process, we are in process, God IS real, and logical, and wants to fill your life with freedom. Let go of the people that cause you stress, and move toward the millions of believers that understand and can relate. God bless you and keep looking up, reaching out, and know that I for one will be praying for clarity for you and that you find believers that are open and equal they are out there, just consider this a journey, and do not compromise. Love in the Lord your sister

Hello Darlene.
Welcome to the community