Hi i am new here and would like to be around others who share similar beliefs

Good morning everyone i wish you’re all getting through these trying times and doing what you can to help. i am here because i feel this feeling of emptiness and my faith is being tested. i want to believe and let this scared feeling of anxiety go but i dont know how to start and or where to start. my partner and i can’t ever talk about God because he doesn’t want to talk about him or he believes he died 3 times and never had no experience. there were no lights or singing and to him that convinced him there is nothing after this life or in this life helping us. i feel alone because the few friends i have i am not close with yet and the people who knew me over time called me crazy for my thoughts including my partner. it hurts to feel like i am trying hard to live a better and faithful way of life but i have nobody but my sister (ever grateful for but she is a busy woman) when i have questions. i have tried fb groups asking questions and got booted/blocked because apparently there is a fine line between being an indigenous person with beliefs of my traditions and the beliefs of a christian. i don’t want to feel that what happened to my parents in residential school was the work of God. many indigenous people don’t believe in God because of the things that’s happened in those schools including my partner’s family. both my parents hardships have impacted their parenting and as a result i don’t know my own language, culture and traditional ways. its actually really sad because i feel lost inside and thats the pain my people feel who share my age group. i will admit i battled alcoholism and struggle with anxiety today.... i don’t live in my home community because the corruption is visible, the water and to get a house of your own is hard. its easier to move away and try to be a part of society. i find that every time i go to a church they almost treat me as if i am in need or poor. i am neither, but when i talk and think out loud i am too much and nobody who asked for my number from church calls me or texts after i’ve shared my number... i am very sorry if i had said anything offensive, that wasn’t my intention. i am just lost right now and the man i love i cant talk to about these things.

Good morning everyone i wish you’re all getting through these trying times and doing what you can to help. i am here because i feel this feeling of emptiness and my faith is being tested. i want to believe and let this scared feeling of anxiety go but i dont know how to start and or where to start. my partner and i can’t ever talk about God because he doesn’t want to talk about him or he believes he died 3 times and never had no experience. there were no lights or singing and to him that convinced him there is nothing after this life or in this life helping us. i feel alone because the few friends i have i am not close with yet and the people who knew me over time called me crazy for my thoughts including my partner. it hurts to feel like i am trying hard to live a better and faithful way of life but i have nobody but my sister (ever grateful for but she is a busy woman) when i have questions. i have tried fb groups asking questions and got booted/blocked because apparently there is a fine line between being an indigenous person with beliefs of my traditions and the beliefs of a Christian. i don’t want to feel that what happened to my parents in residential school was the work of God. many indigenous people don’t believe in God because of the things that’s happened in those schools including my partner’s family. both my parents hardships have impacted their parenting and as a result i don’t know my own language, culture and traditional ways. its actually really sad because i feel lost inside and thats the pain my people feel who share my age group. i will admit i battled alcoholism and struggle with anxiety today.... i don’t live in my home community because the corruption is visible, the water and to get a house of your own is hard. its easier to move away and try to be a part of society. i find that every time i go to a church they almost treat me as if i am in need or poor. i am neither, but when i talk and think out loud i am too much and nobody who asked for my number from church calls me or texts after i’ve shared my number... i am very sorry if i had said anything offensive, that wasn’t my intention. i am just lost right now and the man i love i cant talk to about these things.

awe lol i love the picture! thank you for that i enjoyed reading what you wrote. it is very hard to not care and carry on acting like if i dont think about it it won’t bother me. but after 4 years i am having a hard time now accepting that my man refuses to even listen to my views and still can’t hold a conversation on something i want to talk about. i listen to him and ask him questions about what he likes to talk about and to see how happy he gets when he explains things to me is nice. i enjoy every detail he puts into rebuilding cars n what he puts together at work! he has passion for that and right now im a stay at home mother trying my hardest to teach my step children the love of God. to me thats my passion, learning and reading about spirituality and faith, his children were 8 & 6 when they moved in with us and were raised by their grandma who spoiled them and laughed about god saying what did he do for us ? look what he did to our people!
to me thats passing on hatred and planting the seed of racism. his mom raised my man to see it that way too so right now im having a hard time trying to teach him that we aren’t alone and that empty feeling isn’t supposed to be there. our children have a fighting chance to not have that emptiness. they use to laugh when i prayed with them but now my step daughter can recite the whole our father by herself and my step son is still kinda refusing to care but enjoys the laughter and the good things we say from praying out loud. my concern is he said you can believe and do whatever ypu want but don’t force that shit in my life( when he’s saying this its yelling and angry) loud enough for my stepson to hear... i said its dangerous to blow out that little light he has inside because he loves you and wants to be like you. when you say you don’t believe he hears that and will follow you and his little light will go out for who knows how long. i have 5 children, 20,14,12,10, &5. only the 3 youngest live with us.

sounds like you have the wrong partner.

Hello again!

Regarding your husband who does not believe, we have the following scripture:

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I Corinthians 7:12

"To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If a brother has an unbelieving wife and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13And if a woman has an unbelieving husband and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his believing wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy.

15But if the unbeliever leaves, let him go. The believing brother or sister is not bound in such cases. God has called you to live in peace. 16How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
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So, it may be that though your husband is rejecting Christ now, God may call him by seeing your love and faithfulness, your Christlikeness. On the other hand, the Father does not draw everyone to His Son. For God has mercy upon whom He will have mercy and He hardens whomever He hardens.

As believers in Christ, God's word also tells us that we should marry another believer in Christ. A believer married to an unbeliever will be unequally yoked and because of this there will be trouble between the husband and the wife because one is a new creation in Christ and is looking forward to eternal life and the other is living according to the sinful nature and the things of this world. The two are contrary to each other. You will not only be dealing with overcoming your own sinful nature, but you will be dealing with your husbands sinful nature as well.

We will be praying for the strengthening of your love and faith and for your husband, that God would unharden his heart and instill the fear of God into him and to draw him to Christ.

good morning and thank you so much for your kind words, i am from dene tha first nations in alberta, canada. my community has about 4,500 people but they are all spread out between 3 reserves and throughout canada who chose to leave our community. i have experienced the wolves and its tough having faith when they say they believe and EXPECT me to drop my way of life and follow their one way. like why not accept me just the way i am and not judge me but have faith we all want to live a good life. thats a hard one for me

☺️ awe you are all absolutely amazing and so thoughtful, thank you so much for all of this and i feel funny for pouring my heart but i actually feel a huge sense of relief from all of this 🥰 i am a believer of God and always have been but there were times i didn’t turn to him when i should have. i remember when we were kids he use to be so happy and singing at bible camp so i know that there is a glimmer of hope somewhere in him. he had a very bad accident when he was 10 and was in a coma/unconscious for 3 days. he’s never been the same since. i won’t give up though and feeling like if i carry on doing my own things for our children and home, he will follow eventually. i haven’t really pushed faith on him before but since with this virus i have been terrified because of who it affects, elderly n sickly. all i can think about is my parents and my youngest daughter who has asthma. thank you so much for those verses. i have one bible and its the holy bible kjv. i always have it on our nightstand and he does respect me having faith. he actually listened to me today when i told him about the drummer from korn (famous metal rock band) who changed his life for Christ ❤️ it was different thank you all, to me that was the power of prayers💖
a song i heard today from zack williams “fear is a liar” and it came out on you tube on my birthday how beautiful is that and perfect timing for today!

sounds like you have the wrong partner.

what i am mostly struggling with is if followers of God is accepting and loving, why is there so much hate and racism towards each other by people who claim to be followers of faith. like how the young man mocked an elder praying with his drum and it went viral? or how all the people who say they have Jesus in their hearts but have no room for indians? im saddened by this and it honestly makes me feel lost with my faith.