How do we learn to be grateful? To be thankful?

I am a person who sadly tends to take things for granted. I don’t notice things or appreciate them sometimes until I have to do tasks myself and see how hard it is. How do I fix that? How do I learn to be truly grateful for things I’m given? Whether they be someone’s hard work, a compliment, or a gift, I find myself not being thankful like I know I should. And sadly that especially applies in my walk. There are times where just for a moment I think about things God has done and get this well up of gratitude and love, but sadly it never lasts long. Anyone else deal with this? Where it’s known in the head but never seems to drop fully to the heart?

Could it be pride that keeps us from being grateful? Like because we didn’t “earn it ourselves” then we can’t enjoy whatever it is? I know many people who when they get something paid for by a friend or relative they only feel guilt, not gratitude that the friend was willing to offer. Is that pride too?

A lot to chew on but yeah....

I have a friend who literally values everything. when were out driving cars or whatever when we pull up at a gas station he will legit pick up pennies and other random bits of loose change off of the ground and put them into his cup holder. Mind you his car is well over the 100k range, so it always looked funny to see him do that. Its the little things he does and the value that he has with things that does it. Always receiving even the tiniest of things with gratitude and a positive mindset. I rarely see him grumble about things or devaluing them. Because of this he has an extreme unusual almost disgusting unfair amount of favor.

I learned a bit from him like how to receive and humility. There was a time when i was just too prideful to receive things that i deemed unworthy or valueless. I remember a long time ago this woman who was trying to be nice gave me a sliced orange. I didn't want it for 1,and thought about "what if she didn't wash her hands" and 2 i just thought it beneath me to accept it.... I later understood that i didn't need to be in my feelings about it, but instead i should humbly receive it for the other persons sake...Gifting is for and about the gifter and you have to receive it in gratitude, this is the nature of gratitude. So when God gifts you anything receive in gratitude. Doing this opens the door to receive more. Receiving gifts kind of reminds me of Japanese culture where if they hand you like a business card, if you just nonchalantly take it and bend it or shove it in your pocket they will legit look hurt. That card that they gave to you was like an extension of themselves. So just imagine the gifts from God as the same.

I believe transformation requires renewal of the mind (Rom 12:2) by actively adopting a new attitude.
This is supported both Biblically and scientifically, the more you think certain thoughts and traverse the same thought pathways, the more you strengthen these connections between your neurons, and this becomes your reflex thinking. Opposite will also be true, but transformation takes some time and requires persistence. But we can gradually renew the mind if we "take thoughts captive" and focus mind on God whatever we do.

Thanks for sharing abt what ur going thru, steph.. Sometimes I find myself telling my children abt learning to be grateful amidst both blessings and testings. I found valuable lessons fr both my mom and mom-in-law thru the yrs.

When we were small and puttering abt in our garden, my youngest sis transferred some grass-- and I mean real plain grass, not other fancy weed we see around, onto a pot. I was like, are u honestly planting that? But my mother signaled to me, and later explained not to complain or criticize, but to let my sis be. She was just learning to appreciate growing things, and I might dampen her interest. I always remembered that lesson, amg others, not to be judging when we see and hear what they do and say on the surface, but to also be grateful when others are doing things we cannot understand right away what they are for=).

My mom in law also likes to say, Little things mean a lot. So thru the yrs, I tried to give what little I had like the poor widow, not much thinking abt what others will say, and also to graciously accept whats given to me w/ thanksgiving, for many times we didn't see the time or effort others put into that, to be able to share w/ us... hope this helps, steph!

Contentment and gratefulness is the key to happiness. In my life, i was happier when i was just grateful and not complaining. Even in suffering, I just accepted and did not complain. And I realize that when I am humble and grateful, God has also blessed me with so much more.

Complaining is driven by pride. And pride is not pleasing to God. The times when I was unhappy, were the times I had a prideful heart. Gratefulness and humility will bring back that joyful heart that Jesus creates in us. It is not instant since we are a work in progress but slowly, someday God will say well done my good and faithful servant.

If u get imvolved with homeless ministry you quickly get put back down on earth

it is part human nature, part ignorance, and part sin.

Part ignorance because if you have never gone without then how could you truly feel grateful for what you have? Of course mentally you can see you should be grateful but is the heart connected. Could we truly feel it if we have never experienced it? You fix it by experiencing it or being close to those who experience it. Each will connect the mind to the heart.

On the other hand it is part human nature and sin. We biologically are programmed to survive and hardwired to meet our necessities plus more to make life easier and enjoyable. This can set the stage for sin like pride, greed, and selfishness. Especially as generations get further from the beginning of their society where everything was a matter of life and death. Generations become lost in abundance, complacency and apathy. Mixed with ignorance of the past and sin to ignore others who are not as fortunate while we are also wired to put ourselves ahead of the needs within survival.

Connecting Mind to Heart.

1. Read the scriptures that speak on such issues --------------------------------------
2. Pray for the Spirit to connect your mind and heart -------------------------------------
3. Study history and how your everyday tasks was once completed --------
4. Fast from the things you take for granted ---------
5. Practice donating the things you take for granted ---------
6. Help others who are less fortunate ----------
7. And constantly revert back to step one and two -----------

Hello Steph!
So much helpful stuff has already been said!
I just was invited for a second interview at a Boys and Girls club and my task for the second interview was to "make a lesson of 20 -30 minutes for 10 middle school students".

I could teach on ANYTHING i want. Which I was super stocked about.

It took me a while and I asked many people for advice - but I ended up deciding I would teach on "Thankfulness".
What I learned was this:

When you show gratitude - your brain produces an actual CHEMICAL called Dopamine. Dopamine is used in creating Seratonin.
Seratonin makes you feel Happy. It's a mysterious way God created our bodies to work.

The good and weird thing about Dopamine is this: It's ADDICTIVE to your body. So basically, if you begin to show Gratitude, then your body's response to that chemical is "Hm! I like that! Do that again!"

So the more you begin to show appreciation, gratitude, you say thank you and you are just simply content and humbled by the things you have and the people in your life, the world around you and of course most of all God and what he has done for you... The more your brain will prompt you to think on those things.


On the other hand this is what happens when you complain: your body releases the stress hormone cortisol. ... All the extra cortisol released by frequent complaining impairs your immune system and makes you more susceptible to high cholesterol, diabetes, heart disease, and obesity. It even makes the brain more vulnerable to strokes.

Also one negative comment spoken out loud - needs FOUR Positive ones to make up for the way it has just changed the atmosphere. Isn't that crazy??? The power of those negative words on our bodies is very very severe. That is why when a whole team of 5 is working and all are pretty much up beat and on board - but ONE is a Debbie Downer - the whole team will feel defeated in no time - unless one person REALLY sets in gear and pumps up the whole team.

Have you ever had that experience? I know I have!


Oh with the lesson on Gratitude I am going to encourage the kids to write lists of "things" "people" and "places" they are thankful for. (I made each kid a little gratitude journal with an encouraging "pencil" and a thank you note) and I want to encourage them to write a Thank you Card to a person who has recently made a difference in their lives.

I hope they won't fall asleep on my < . < My interview of course has been rescheduled due to covid...



Since you have posted this - have you been actively thinking about things you are thankful for? If so - would you mind sharing them?