Hey!
My name is Aleksander Bergqvist, 33y old male all the way from sweden.
A baker as trade.
I found this place just recently.
Apologies if my English isn't spot on.
I would like to tell my story, because I feel like I need to. It's going to be a bit long so if you dont want to read I fully understand. But here it goes.
I dont know if you guys know - but sweden isn't exactly what you would call a christian country. I did not grow up with it. Allthough my parents educated me in most religions.
I had a weird connection to it as a younger boy. I always felt that there was something bigger in the world. Some divine being, and that I would some day understand it. Always believing there was a stronger force. But I could not put my finger on it. Maybe this will sound selfish and pride even. But I had a feeling I was important. That is how I felt.
But my beliefs went to science and that we are all just dust of nothing - here by pure luck and chance.
I didn't think about it for a couple of years, and then when I was 18 my mother got ill.
She had a big stroke, and after fighting that off and moved to a smaller hospital back home she got struck with meningitis. And it was bad for a long time. I stayed home to help out, worked two shift a day. I did not coupe well. I turned to partying. Pretty much all of my days off I was out at clubs.
I realized later in life that I didn't take it well. My feeling was screw it.
Anyways. Years go by. My mum is back to her self again and I moved to a bigger city. My feelings about the universe and everything comes back to me. I go in to quantum physics. Try to understand more about life and where we are in the world. The more I look, the more I find a God in everything. There is no way there can be a mere chance we are here.
Everything is so designed. I have not reached Jesus yet. But He is there.
A friend of mine got saved and found Jesus. He took me to church for the first time. I was overwhelmed. Intrigued.
He slows me in to it. And after a while I finally accepted Jesus in my life.
It was what I had searched for all my life. But no other of my friends is christian. And swedes dont really understand what it means. They kind of look at it as an cult. But I kept it to myself. I attended church with him and his friends every sunday. On Tuesdays i was going to bible lessons. I met alot of wonderful people. I was truly saved. I didn't drink, I didn't sin and most important - I had found peace and understanding in the world. Nothing I ever felt before.
I was going to be saved for real and accept Jesus in my heart though baptism. My friend, who showed me the way, 2018 on march the 12th, two days before committed suicide. He was a light. Everyone flocked to him. I blamed myself for this. For being this close to him and not being able to see his pain.
I always pride myself with taking care of people. But I couldn't save the one who saved me. It felt like people who knew him also blamed me.
I lost my way. I got really lost. I blamed me for being so stupid. I blamed God. I could not understand... I later learned that he had suffered from bipolar and did not take his medication.
the path that the universe gave me, is slowly leading me back to Jesus. Two years later. I feel a stronger connection and a strong urge to seek it out. I am still lost and maybe in need of guidance. Maybe i'm a coward to spill it out here. But I wanted to share my story.
Anyway. If you read this - I thank you.
best regards
My name is Aleksander Bergqvist, 33y old male all the way from sweden.
A baker as trade.
I found this place just recently.
Apologies if my English isn't spot on.
I would like to tell my story, because I feel like I need to. It's going to be a bit long so if you dont want to read I fully understand. But here it goes.
I dont know if you guys know - but sweden isn't exactly what you would call a christian country. I did not grow up with it. Allthough my parents educated me in most religions.
I had a weird connection to it as a younger boy. I always felt that there was something bigger in the world. Some divine being, and that I would some day understand it. Always believing there was a stronger force. But I could not put my finger on it. Maybe this will sound selfish and pride even. But I had a feeling I was important. That is how I felt.
But my beliefs went to science and that we are all just dust of nothing - here by pure luck and chance.
I didn't think about it for a couple of years, and then when I was 18 my mother got ill.
She had a big stroke, and after fighting that off and moved to a smaller hospital back home she got struck with meningitis. And it was bad for a long time. I stayed home to help out, worked two shift a day. I did not coupe well. I turned to partying. Pretty much all of my days off I was out at clubs.
I realized later in life that I didn't take it well. My feeling was screw it.
Anyways. Years go by. My mum is back to her self again and I moved to a bigger city. My feelings about the universe and everything comes back to me. I go in to quantum physics. Try to understand more about life and where we are in the world. The more I look, the more I find a God in everything. There is no way there can be a mere chance we are here.
Everything is so designed. I have not reached Jesus yet. But He is there.
A friend of mine got saved and found Jesus. He took me to church for the first time. I was overwhelmed. Intrigued.
He slows me in to it. And after a while I finally accepted Jesus in my life.
It was what I had searched for all my life. But no other of my friends is christian. And swedes dont really understand what it means. They kind of look at it as an cult. But I kept it to myself. I attended church with him and his friends every sunday. On Tuesdays i was going to bible lessons. I met alot of wonderful people. I was truly saved. I didn't drink, I didn't sin and most important - I had found peace and understanding in the world. Nothing I ever felt before.
I was going to be saved for real and accept Jesus in my heart though baptism. My friend, who showed me the way, 2018 on march the 12th, two days before committed suicide. He was a light. Everyone flocked to him. I blamed myself for this. For being this close to him and not being able to see his pain.
I always pride myself with taking care of people. But I couldn't save the one who saved me. It felt like people who knew him also blamed me.
I lost my way. I got really lost. I blamed me for being so stupid. I blamed God. I could not understand... I later learned that he had suffered from bipolar and did not take his medication.
the path that the universe gave me, is slowly leading me back to Jesus. Two years later. I feel a stronger connection and a strong urge to seek it out. I am still lost and maybe in need of guidance. Maybe i'm a coward to spill it out here. But I wanted to share my story.
Anyway. If you read this - I thank you.
best regards
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