Do you think I made the right thing?

I'm a woman in the ministry been doing it after college as God called me full time. I was never to any relationship because I have a principle since I was a young I will fall once and that once will be my husband. Been so serious in the ministry but along the way a lot of guys too are starting to like and pursue me but not any one of them I like. I really don't know what's wrong with me that time. I feel something inside that this is not the one. Then one man came in my life he's very close to me as just a brother in Christ. I did not notice that the closer I get to him the more I fall. I just hide what I feel and I prayed him to God and asked God if he's the one. Then God showed me a dream confirming me he's the one. I feel mutual things are happening to both of us but then along the way by another friend told me that guy knows what I feel to him, and he wasn't interested to me he just sees me as friend. So I get honest to him and say everything what inside my heart feel, but he never say anything, so I get hurt and started to cut off our connections. Not until a month after he reaches out to me but just asking me how am I and some normal stuff we've been talking before, but he never discusses my feelings for him even he knows it already. So things get complicated and I distance myself to him decided not to talk to him anymore because I think that is good for me. And now I'm totally moving forward but still waiting for the right one. It's been two years now but still thinking it once for a while. Do you think I made the right thing? Is it possible that you receive confirmation from God but its a failure?

Well not Every dream is from God so we have to be careful.

But it seems that you had a good friendship and because he was not interested in you, you got embarrassed and upset with him.

When he contacted you to see how you were doing, you should have apologised for complicating the friendship, put everything behind you, and continue talking with him as you did before.

However if you feel you weren't able to put your feelings for him aside then I guess it was best to end the friendship.

Oh i see... thank you for your reply sis...actually I am not just upset and embarrassed because he wasn't interested but because we are close friend sis and he never say anything sis and act like everything is normal for me it wasn't good of him acting like that.

yeah true also maybe i cant still put my feelings aside but now yeah i will thank u.

I am old but I am still a baby in my walk with Christ...I am not a wise person and my words here are based on my experience, God's correction and grace in my life 😊
Congratulations for saving yourself for your future spouse... I failed to do that I engaged in some sexual things like porn and other lustful things I am not purely Innocent.. I regretted what I did in the past.


I believe that God can do things and God does speak...but,

God gives us the freedom to choose, HE guides us and direct our steps...

He reached out to you again maybe because he felt bad about how he acted when you told him about your feelings for him . His friend confessing her feelings for him puts him on the spot, and he probably felt like he should respond immediately but he didn't know what to do at that moment because of how fast the things between you and him changed.

He is a nice man for not taking advantage of you and for reaching out again He reached out again because maybe he probably was able to process everything already and he felt bad on how he treated you. He was indeed a good friend but was not the one.


You did a good decision to move forward...You did not miss anything... or lost "the one"... he was a part of your personal journey to the person you are waiting for 😊


Welcome to CC sister 😊 God bless you please stay safe ❤

Yes so true sister and thank you.

Its all Gods grace sister and praise God. Yeah i believe too in freedom to choose and that God guides and direct our steps. God has greater plan ahead of you too sister. Your past will not define your future God will use it for His glory. God bless u and thank u once again.

this guy is being true to himself do you think he should fake his feelings for your sake? I dont think so.
You shouldnt be hurt because YOUR feelings are not normal friend feelings you keep saying you are FALLING.

FALLING is not being a friend.
should he then FALL for you?

when people marry, why is it not ok to be good close friends without FALLING. I would ask myself that question before preoceeding. You need to be walking not stumbling around and falling. If God confirms this is the one for you He also would tell him wouldnt He? And He could do that even without any of you falling over each other.

You did the right thing by trying to end the friendship. Someone like that doesn't know what he wants and will just create needless drama in your life. But you shouldn't rely on God giving you a sign because 1) God very rarely gives signs, especially about who one should marry and 2) you will be anxious to take anything that seems like a sign as an actual sign from God, and that will just lead to frustration, anger and hurt feelings (as it did in your story). What one should do is look for a suitable mate and be on a constant lookout for red flags.

sorry it sounds a bit harsh but if youve fallen over the thing to do have God pick you up when you are down.
when we have confirmation from God you actually need one or two witnesses that can also confirm. Or it needs to happen more than once.

Mary was pregnant, she had the angel tell her, the angel also told Joseph, and her cousin Elizabeth also confirmed.
When. Jesus was transfigured he heard God speak but also Peter and John were there with him.
When Samuel heard from God, he was woken up 3 times.
Peters vision from heaven to eat was told to him 3 times.

Have you or others been praying for this or is it just a principle you have.
of course you can always ask God again is this guy needing more time? But you cant expect him to fake his feelings if its not the right time. I mean I dont know how much of a hurry you are. But if its the one whos meant for you surely you can wait for a bit more maturity. And if there is nobody else after you now then dont worry about it cos it will be on Gods timing.

I dont know how many times you fall but you could you maybe fall three times for the same person MAYBE that might mean something.

anyway sorry if this resonates with you then hope its helpful otherwise discard it...just being agony aunt in a singles forum here. If hes is not the right one he would have found somebody else right. but if hes still single possibly hes waiting for you, or just likes being single. Which is abosltuely fine you got to respect that. single people want to enjoy time being single, and single minded for the Lord. Cos we wont ever have that when they are married, even if we are widowed or divorced its not the same as your mind is not putting Him first.

Wow! your right, what a sharp word but so true...thank u.

Yeah i get that thank u

Thank you so much for this reply yeah it's OK and I like this a little harsh Lol yes you are right now I'm thinking of it he is still single and still chat me once in a while but I keep on ignoring him and don't bother to reply and whenever I saw him in church or even in any other places were just casual but not as the same before who is close because I put a wall already.I'm still moving on but now I think I'm ready because I don't have any feelings for him now and see him as friend. Many are praying for us actually especially my mentors in the Church, and they all said just wait for him or wait on God. Yeah, now I'm putting my hope in God alone and thank u for reminding me this.

Christians love to seek for signs. And when it comes to romance they look twice as hard for signs. To the point where people believe things are signs that aren't. And believe God is confirming what He hasn't said.
Typically people want to hear a yes, so thats what they hear, because that's all they're listening for.

Yeah, somehow true brother and I may not perfect but Gods grace Im already been in my 29years of existence how people come and go in my life not particularly in love life but I see how God directs and guide my step along the way. In everything I do I will always phrase this word... WHAT WOULD JESUS DO? And response as He does.

And about signs or I said confirmation maybe when it comes to relationship or life partner I find it hard because maybe of what my emotions say.

As the word of God says Jeremiah 17:9— The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can understand it? The one who could understand it only the one who created it. Thank u for your comment I appreciate it. I was being reminded.

You have to be careful about signs. I pray for wisdom when I want to know something. If I wonder if God wants me to pursue a girl, I'll pray and ask for wisdom. But I have learned that looking for "signs" is dangerous. I have fallen in that trap before, and fallen for girls whom I was certain God sent me a sign for. But I ended up getting hurt.

The heart is deceitful. We can interpret things as signs from God, but we're really projecting our own personal desires. We see it as a sign from God not because it is, but because we want it to be.

If you feel drawn to someone, pray about it. But definitely ask for wisdom from friends. And, put your feelings aside and ask yourself if he really has the qualities that would make a good husband for you. When we're in love, it's easy to overlook obvious signs.

Yeah mind blown somehow true. Thank u

Hi love. After reading your piece I thought of typing a little paragraph to it. God can never be wrong unless we mistook our thoughts with God speaking. I am not saying is the case with you. It can be that his( the guy) time is not yet come and he didn't realised his feelings for you yet or maybe the feelings didn't manifest yet and in regards to what you did you did the right thing men get scared when they feel a woman is pushing hard, it's for them to pursue that's what they believe should be.

I know is hard to still be in connection with someone you love but they see you differently, but that shouldn't cause bad blood between the two of you. Have a normal friendship and try to put the personal matter aside while you keep on praying God works in mysterious ways.

We fail but God never does. If this man is the one...then things should fall into place. Stay friends...he may not be ready for more yet...and friendship is always necessary before anything more comes about.

Yes sis i appreciate your reply but that time its very hard to be you know just friend when he never say anything...But now maybe will pray then. tnx.

Amen. Thank you