Admitted Feelings=Lost Salvation

what is your future?
a lot of people think well I have a future with someone, and then it only lasts about two years. How far ahead do you see?

When we are born again it naturally follows (or should) that God becomes central in our lives, the highest priority, as you call it. Trying to be "one" with someone who does not share that same passion and priority gives you an unstable foundation.

God asks us to live for Him every day, day by day. He doesnt go, well you can do a detour and come back to me five years from now.

Another thing which is making this hard to navigate is that this person is completely willing to let me pursue my faith. Like, they aren’t trying to pull me away from it or anything.

Another thing which is making this hard to navigate is that this person is completely willing to let me pursue my faith. Like, they aren’t trying to pull me away from it or anything.

Well...in the case of being unequally yoked I suppose most have the image of two oxen moving in opposite directions.

In this case, one ox sitting down might not pull you "away" like that but be exhausting. How that would not distract you from pursuit of the Lord I have no idea. When you feel oppressed and downtrodden by the enemy, how would you get any comfort from someone that doesn't believe? How would you share each others spiritual burdens? Even a beautiful praise report? A non-believer would be on a totally different vibe. There might be times you resonate together in the flesh but spiritually you wouldn't be able to connect on the deep level that exists in the Lord together with another believer.

I'm not saying it is impossible to learn another's language but it is like using a tool for something it wasn't designed for. It is quite difficult and unsustainable long term I've found.

Anytime (looking back) that I've entertained and been pursued by a non-believer it's been motivated in my flesh. No I don't mean just physically, but it's like a dark spirituality also (difficult to explain)...they didn't go anywhere because I wanted something they were unwilling to give before proceeding but I definitely spent a lot of time doing some "new agey" logic convincing myself that it could work that way. Regardless, the Lord blocked me.

Which, I am grateful for but still...when I have to do "that" much convincing that scripture doesn't apply or doesn't have to and yet I am sincerely following the Lord, he "moves me" though sometimes we have to take steps.

It'd be like a huge block of my life that I couldn't share that I see little point in such a thing. It hurts, especially when there is "seemingly" an open door but I've decided these are illusions.

Just don't date them. Stay friends and focus on people who already have a strong relationship with Christ if you are looking for the one to marry. Of course focus on yourself being marriageable material. If they get saved and grow strong in the Lord down the road deal with it then. Wait two years and see what happens. Dating a new convert is not wise either. You have to give them time to see if they will be good soil of fade away in a few months.

Yeah, I think that you’re on track with this. And it’s also exactly what I’m afraid of if I decide to date this person. I fear that this would be the more likely outcome than them becoming saved.

It does help that you’ve also shared a little about your own experiences, so thank you for that.

Kind of related but also just me speaking my mind on general:
It’s just so confusing and frustrating and just hurts how it can seem so perfect and not perfect at the same time. Maybe God is just testing me. I mean I know that we don’t always understand what God is doing but I am curious to know what exactly is happening here and how much of it could have been avoided. Maybe it’s my fault that I’m in this situation.
I just fear for this person’s mental health. I mean I realize that I can’t be completely responsible for their mental health, but I’ve definitely been triggering them.

sounds like this person is resepcting that you arent able to date.

Youve got to be clear on this otherwise it will become one of those icky codependent relationships that drag both of you into quicksand.

We are not the reason people don't repent and have faith in Jesus. Their own sin is the reason. We are not the Holy Spirit and people choose to resist the Holy Spirit and they will use any excuse that seems handy, don't let anyone put that on you.
'

Easier said than done, but rings true nonetheless. But like I mentioned somewhere else, if God wants this relationship to be, then it’s going to be. I just wonder if God is waiting for me to do something.

Anytime I go through such a thing with a non-believer it's an emotional maelstrom for months...complete with confusing dreams. It's rough...but the time test is pretty effective. I mean, I'm a guy and it's pretty bad.

I will say that I had a dream about that same person a few months ago and I wasn't even remotely interested in them. This was years later, but it did encourage me that the Lord is still preparing me and I matured past any remote interest in them.


It was kind of neat that he did that for me. One I haven't quite moved past yet completely but I think it does encourage me that too will fade away and not rekindle. It's a waywardness in me but I trust the Lord to mature me past all that eventually.

In the meantime. Time and distance perhaps? Lanolin did have a good point about fancies being but a puff, that may not be the case in this situation, but I definitely imagine things out of proportion sometimes...particularly infatuation vs love.

Is where you work flexible at all?

Hm in what way?

I thought you said it was a work relationship? Or did I remember incorrectly?