Admitted Feelings=Lost Salvation
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Well...in the case of being unequally yoked I suppose most have the image of two oxen moving in opposite directions.
In this case, one ox sitting down might not pull you "away" like that but be exhausting. How that would not distract you from pursuit of the Lord I have no idea. When you feel oppressed and downtrodden by the enemy, how would you get any comfort from someone that doesn't believe? How would you share each others spiritual burdens? Even a beautiful praise report? A non-believer would be on a totally different vibe. There might be times you resonate together in the flesh but spiritually you wouldn't be able to connect on the deep level that exists in the Lord together with another believer.
I'm not saying it is impossible to learn another's language but it is like using a tool for something it wasn't designed for. It is quite difficult and unsustainable long term I've found.
Anytime (looking back) that I've entertained and been pursued by a non-believer it's been motivated in my flesh. No I don't mean just physically, but it's like a dark spirituality also (difficult to explain)...they didn't go anywhere because I wanted something they were unwilling to give before proceeding but I definitely spent a lot of time doing some "new agey" logic convincing myself that it could work that way. Regardless, the Lord blocked me.
Which, I am grateful for but still...when I have to do "that" much convincing that scripture doesn't apply or doesn't have to and yet I am sincerely following the Lord, he "moves me" though sometimes we have to take steps.
It'd be like a huge block of my life that I couldn't share that I see little point in such a thing. It hurts, especially when there is "seemingly" an open door but I've decided these are illusions.
In this case, one ox sitting down might not pull you "away" like that but be exhausting. How that would not distract you from pursuit of the Lord I have no idea. When you feel oppressed and downtrodden by the enemy, how would you get any comfort from someone that doesn't believe? How would you share each others spiritual burdens? Even a beautiful praise report? A non-believer would be on a totally different vibe. There might be times you resonate together in the flesh but spiritually you wouldn't be able to connect on the deep level that exists in the Lord together with another believer.
I'm not saying it is impossible to learn another's language but it is like using a tool for something it wasn't designed for. It is quite difficult and unsustainable long term I've found.
Anytime (looking back) that I've entertained and been pursued by a non-believer it's been motivated in my flesh. No I don't mean just physically, but it's like a dark spirituality also (difficult to explain)...they didn't go anywhere because I wanted something they were unwilling to give before proceeding but I definitely spent a lot of time doing some "new agey" logic convincing myself that it could work that way. Regardless, the Lord blocked me.
Which, I am grateful for but still...when I have to do "that" much convincing that scripture doesn't apply or doesn't have to and yet I am sincerely following the Lord, he "moves me" though sometimes we have to take steps.
It'd be like a huge block of my life that I couldn't share that I see little point in such a thing. It hurts, especially when there is "seemingly" an open door but I've decided these are illusions.
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S
Just don't date them. Stay friends and focus on people who already have a strong relationship with Christ if you are looking for the one to marry. Of course focus on yourself being marriageable material. If they get saved and grow strong in the Lord down the road deal with it then. Wait two years and see what happens. Dating a new convert is not wise either. You have to give them time to see if they will be good soil of fade away in a few months.
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Yeah, I think that you’re on track with this. And it’s also exactly what I’m afraid of if I decide to date this person. I fear that this would be the more likely outcome than them becoming saved.
It does help that you’ve also shared a little about your own experiences, so thank you for that.
Kind of related but also just me speaking my mind on general:
It’s just so confusing and frustrating and just hurts how it can seem so perfect and not perfect at the same time. Maybe God is just testing me. I mean I know that we don’t always understand what God is doing but I am curious to know what exactly is happening here and how much of it could have been avoided. Maybe it’s my fault that I’m in this situation.
I just fear for this person’s mental health. I mean I realize that I can’t be completely responsible for their mental health, but I’ve definitely been triggering them.
It does help that you’ve also shared a little about your own experiences, so thank you for that.
Kind of related but also just me speaking my mind on general:
It’s just so confusing and frustrating and just hurts how it can seem so perfect and not perfect at the same time. Maybe God is just testing me. I mean I know that we don’t always understand what God is doing but I am curious to know what exactly is happening here and how much of it could have been avoided. Maybe it’s my fault that I’m in this situation.
I just fear for this person’s mental health. I mean I realize that I can’t be completely responsible for their mental health, but I’ve definitely been triggering them.
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when someone has mental health issues they need healing not a date.
Youve got to be clear on this otherwise it will become one of those icky codependent relationships that drag both of you into quicksand.
sounds like this person is resepcting that you arent able to date. Its just youve got mixed up in your head your feelings on the matter so you just need to sort out YOUR OWN relationship with God on this one.
dont put feelings ahead of faith.
your feelings, may be strong now and hard to handle but they will fade. Its only cos you are obessing over them now that its distracting you from God.
Another thing I know with dealing with mental health issues is sometimes crazy thoughts just enter your head as well as crazy feelings. Dont take them seriously, as a lot of it is just fancies/fantasies. one puff and woof they are gone.
When Jesus met the woman at the well who had five husbands their conversation was rather a strange one cos it seemed like SHE thought He was flirting with her. After all Jesus was single and he was speaking to a woman! and they were alone. Was he asking her out?!
now theres a nice way of letting a someone down gently. You could just mention while I have feelings, I also have faith and I cant understand a life together without faith.
Besides you are probably not going to be ONLY one that will ever have feelings for this person.
Youve got to be clear on this otherwise it will become one of those icky codependent relationships that drag both of you into quicksand.
sounds like this person is resepcting that you arent able to date. Its just youve got mixed up in your head your feelings on the matter so you just need to sort out YOUR OWN relationship with God on this one.
dont put feelings ahead of faith.
your feelings, may be strong now and hard to handle but they will fade. Its only cos you are obessing over them now that its distracting you from God.
Another thing I know with dealing with mental health issues is sometimes crazy thoughts just enter your head as well as crazy feelings. Dont take them seriously, as a lot of it is just fancies/fantasies. one puff and woof they are gone.
When Jesus met the woman at the well who had five husbands their conversation was rather a strange one cos it seemed like SHE thought He was flirting with her. After all Jesus was single and he was speaking to a woman! and they were alone. Was he asking her out?!
now theres a nice way of letting a someone down gently. You could just mention while I have feelings, I also have faith and I cant understand a life together without faith.
Besides you are probably not going to be ONLY one that will ever have feelings for this person.
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Anytime I go through such a thing with a non-believer it's an emotional maelstrom for months...complete with confusing dreams. It's rough...but the time test is pretty effective. I mean, I'm a guy and it's pretty bad.
I will say that I had a dream about that same person a few months ago and I wasn't even remotely interested in them. This was years later, but it did encourage me that the Lord is still preparing me and I matured past any remote interest in them.
It was kind of neat that he did that for me. One I haven't quite moved past yet completely but I think it does encourage me that too will fade away and not rekindle. It's a waywardness in me but I trust the Lord to mature me past all that eventually.
In the meantime. Time and distance perhaps? Lanolin did have a good point about fancies being but a puff, that may not be the case in this situation, but I definitely imagine things out of proportion sometimes...particularly infatuation vs love.
I will say that I had a dream about that same person a few months ago and I wasn't even remotely interested in them. This was years later, but it did encourage me that the Lord is still preparing me and I matured past any remote interest in them.
It was kind of neat that he did that for me. One I haven't quite moved past yet completely but I think it does encourage me that too will fade away and not rekindle. It's a waywardness in me but I trust the Lord to mature me past all that eventually.
In the meantime. Time and distance perhaps? Lanolin did have a good point about fancies being but a puff, that may not be the case in this situation, but I definitely imagine things out of proportion sometimes...particularly infatuation vs love.
First of all, kudos for this reply cause you actually kept with the spirit of the initial post/concern
(I’ve written a lot of stuff that’s strayed from the original point of this post🙃😅)
This is definitely encouraging though cause I was feeling so badly about potentially being the reason that this person potentially turns away from God
(I’ve written a lot of stuff that’s strayed from the original point of this post🙃😅)
This is definitely encouraging though cause I was feeling so badly about potentially being the reason that this person potentially turns away from God
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Yeah I can feel this. Took me forever to move past my first relationship when it ended. At the end though I was thankful that it didn’t work out. I’m glad that God has been able to help you through these painful things that you’ve dealt with. And again, it helps to hear people relate their own stories.
I do hope to always stay friends with this person though. I do truly love and care about this person (we used to think of each other as siblings, that’s how close we were/are).
I do hope to always stay friends with this person though. I do truly love and care about this person (we used to think of each other as siblings, that’s how close we were/are).