How should I act on my feelings in this situation ?

Hi !

I'm a 20 year old girl, and God has really put it in my heart recently that I want marriage and children in my future. Honestly, I'm the oldest unmarried person in my entire family but that isn't the reason that I want it, it is a genuine desire. I'm aware that I have plenty of time and am young, but I'm also aware of how I feel and don't think the desire for marriage fairly young is sinful or silly. My ideal is get engaged in 3rd year college (so at 23) and married at 24 when I graduate.

I also recently moved to a new city in England. Here, there is very few Christian men, and most of them are married anyway. The ones that aren't honestly don't seem suitable.

But, there is one guy at my new church who honestly seems perfect. He's very sporty, is doing a doctorate degree and is quite attractive to me. I can also tell (obviously I've stalked his social media haha, guys EVERY girl does it ) that he has an ex girlfriend who looks kind of similar to me, so I would say I would be his type.

Unfortunately church is totally online right now and England is in lockdown, so I don't have a way to actually meet him and get to know him - so i really want to try and connect with him online.

However, the only times we have met have been a few breakout rooms on zoom together where we haven't even spoken much. But God is literally putting it in my heart to get to know him.

Also, I found out the other day he's 27 - I had thought he was 24 !! Now, to me being 7 years older is SO attractive and desirable, but do you think he wouldn't even look in my direction because I'm young ? Thing is, I'm younger than him but I'm very mature, probably similar maturity levels tbh, and we're both students.

Guys (and girls), what do you think the best way to go about this is ? I was thinking following him on instagram but he has so few followers and he's private so it will make it very obvious I've looked him up specifically. But then, like, is that a bad thing ? I really would like to get to know him but I also really don't need to be getting rejected by a guy at my new church ahah

you're the oldest, at 20 ?

yep ! I know it’s quite unusual, we’re not even that traditional of a family, but I have 26,24 and 22 year old cousins all married. Then I’m next oldest (single). Then my 18 year old brother has a girlfriend, as does my 16 and 15 year olds cousins (obviously not serious). Then after that everyone’s a child. So it’s actually pretty horrendous how much I am the only single one !! I have one aunt who is single too but she has had 3 marriages so it’s not like she’s never been married and she’s in her fifties now

is it so important for you to get married asap ?

No, as I said in my post my sort of ideal life plan would to be getting married at around 24, so in 4 years time which I don’t believe to be asap at all.
obviously, I know I’m not in control with this, God is , but I do believe he wants us to be proactive in our own lives.
Anyway, I have no desire to marry this guy asap, possibly even at all - I don’t know him yet ! I just want to get to know him rn which is obviously hard to do via zoom
God bless

does he know you ?

We’ve had church zoom calls together, but haven’t spoken extensively. He knows of me though

Hi !

I'm a 20 year old girl, and God has really put it in my heart recently that I want marriage and children in my future. Honestly, I'm the oldest unmarried person in my entire family but that isn't the reason that I want it, it is a genuine desire. I'm aware that I have plenty of time and am young, but I'm also aware of how I feel and don't think the desire for marriage fairly young is sinful or silly. My ideal is get engaged in 3rd year college (so at 23) and married at 24 when I graduate.

I also recently moved to a new city in England. Here, there is very few Christian men, and most of them are married anyway. The ones that aren't honestly don't seem suitable.

But, there is one guy at my new church who honestly seems perfect. He's very sporty, is doing a doctorate degree and is quite attractive to me. I can also tell (obviously I've stalked his social media haha, guys EVERY girl does it ) that he has an ex girlfriend who looks kind of similar to me, so I would say I would be his type.

Unfortunately church is totally online right now and England is in lockdown, so I don't have a way to actually meet him and get to know him - so i really want to try and connect with him online.

However, the only times we have met have been a few breakout rooms on zoom together where we haven't even spoken much. But God is literally putting it in my heart to get to know him.

Also, I found out the other day he's 27 - I had thought he was 24 !! Now, to me being 7 years older is SO attractive and desirable, but do you think he wouldn't even look in my direction because I'm young ? Thing is, I'm younger than him but I'm very mature, probably similar maturity levels tbh, and we're both students.

Guys (and girls), what do you think the best way to go about this is ? I was thinking following him on instagram but he has so few followers and he's private so it will make it very obvious I've looked him up specifically. But then, like, is that a bad thing ? I really would like to get to know him but I also really don't need to be getting rejected by a guy at my new church ahah

@pink00 , Sorry about the last part I get confused about the words I wanna say let me rephrase it... "He will not Let you chase him around... He'll Be direct and honest with his intentions" 😊

Hi !

I'm a 20 year old girl, and God has really put it in my heart recently that I want marriage and children in my future. Honestly, I'm the oldest unmarried person in my entire family but that isn't the reason that I want it, it is a genuine desire. I'm aware that I have plenty of time and am young, but I'm also aware of how I feel and don't think the desire for marriage fairly young is sinful or silly. My ideal is get engaged in 3rd year college (so at 23) and married at 24 when I graduate.

I also recently moved to a new city in England. Here, there is very few Christian men, and most of them are married anyway. The ones that aren't honestly don't seem suitable.

But, there is one guy at my new church who honestly seems perfect. He's very sporty, is doing a doctorate degree and is quite attractive to me. I can also tell (obviously I've stalked his social media haha, guys EVERY girl does it ) that he has an ex girlfriend who looks kind of similar to me, so I would say I would be his type.

Unfortunately church is totally online right now and England is in lockdown, so I don't have a way to actually meet him and get to know him - so i really want to try and connect with him online.

However, the only times we have met have been a few breakout rooms on zoom together where we haven't even spoken much. But God is literally putting it in my heart to get to know him.

Also, I found out the other day he's 27 - I had thought he was 24 !! Now, to me being 7 years older is SO attractive and desirable, but do you think he wouldn't even look in my direction because I'm young ? Thing is, I'm younger than him but I'm very mature, probably similar maturity levels tbh, and we're both students.

Guys (and girls), what do you think the best way to go about this is ? I was thinking following him on instagram but he has so few followers and he's private so it will make it very obvious I've looked him up specifically. But then, like, is that a bad thing ? I really would like to get to know him but I also really don't need to be getting rejected by a guy at my new church ahah

If you do go after him just tell him your plan, if he bites cool, if he doesnt, then respect that.
You seem intent on getting the guy.

btw who would be funding the wedding if you got married. Also, what are YOu studying. Arent you going to bother using your degree?

I wouldnt go chasing after boys (or older men) personally.

If you like being humiliated you could try, but most gals prefer to keep their dignity.