the guilt trip

can anyone explain to me where do you go on a guilt trip and why do people do them.

Is it only mothers that do them, i.e I work and slave for you and you dont even lift a finger!
And how do you handle this abuse, do you then go ok thanks for pointing that out, is it my turn to work and slave for you while you sit back and relax.

Or do you say, I had no idea you were doing all that for me. I just thought you liked being a martyr.
How can you ever be grateful if you are told you SHOULD be grateful?

Is it a good thing to say to someone, you should be thanking me, and then hang around waiting for the tip?

Only thing I can think of is:

Oh yeah!

Obligatory doleful comment:
How sharper than a serpent's tooth is an ungrateful child...

Well somebody had to say it.

Sorry for the generic replies, but without knowing anything about your momma I can't come up with anything more specific.

oh dont worry about my mum lol
shes just doing what most mums do!

Im just wondering what you meant to do about guilt trips and whether its christian to use them.


Im thinking when shes in her old age that I get to be the mum and looking after her, you know instead of palming her off to non family carers..... If she doesnt like my cooking and then complains, or refuses to eat it, I could pull the old mum tactic and say think of all the starving children in africa, right?

Or is that not technically true about the starving children in africa. Is that a 'white guilt' thing. I mean we have starving children right here in nz.


Or how about the thing where in church the preachers say Give us your money otherwise you are robbing God.

Thought some more about it and wondered maybe everyone here is guilt-free
if so, maybe thats a good thing, they havent done anything wrong.

But if someone sends you on a guilt trip, and does it all the time, to them, YOU are always in the wrong no matter what you do....

ONe thing I noted is that people can be this way with food, for some strange reason. Or maybe this just goes all the way back to Adam and Eve. THough in that case, God was gracious and didnt guilt trip them

If He did, it would have been like if you DONT eat all the fruits of the trees I have provided for you, you are going to die. You better thank me that Im not poisoining you.

That's the problem with riding the ignore button. I replied but she can't see it.. she thinks nobody has responded to her thread.

I feel like A LOT of people use guilt trips to get what they want. Especially if you're single and have free time. I still haven't mastered not feeling guilty for not jumping at every request set before me, because I do enjoy helping, but If its nonstop...I can get a bit overwhelmed.

That's where boundaries come in. I recommend the book by that title by Cloud and Townsend.

Lynx,..
That's a shocking statement!

wouldnt it be worse if you were married and your other half just expected you to jump for everything they wanted you to do? To be a wife is to be a non-stop helper for one person though, and something you have agreed and are bound by.

Being single, techinically your free time is your own to do as you please and you can choose whether to say yes or no to anyone. So you dont need to feel guilty about it as you arent married to anyone.

Sorry, sorry! I'll turn the voltage down.

Makes the battery last longer anyway.

I wonder if guilting children into reading books ever works, like if I said

If you children dont read any books this year, I am going to lose my job. Do you want me to keep my job?

Do you think that would work rather than giving pizza as an incentive??

Where do you go on a guilt trip?, dunno, probably to the ground since you tripped over guilt. As for why people do it, there could be
a multitude of reasons, but it's easy to control and manipulate a person if you can knock them down far enough emotionally.

is it...how do you know, do you ever do it?
I wouldnt think so. It would just make them resent you. They might do what you want but hate you at the same time.

I don't do it but i had it done to me when i was much younger, and i did hate them for it for a long time. Narcissistic people who need to control people usually play those types of games, you tend to see these types of things in abusive relationships.

was the guilt tripper your mother?

or someone you went out with?

#2

:-(

narcissm yea

I learned a new term its called coercive control. it might not be physical but can be pyschological.

Satan used guilt trips on Jesus when he was tempting Him. If you are the son of God, throw yourself off the highest building kind of thing. Prove it.