So Here's Why I Don't Always Use Scripture in My Posts (What's Your Own Personal Witnessing Style?)

Hey Everyone,

I know there has been some discussion about not seeing much Scripture used here in Singles. While I understand that this was not personally directed towards me, I thought that because I do write a few threads here, I should explain my own stance.

There are some times when I use several Scriptural quotes in my posts, but many other times I do not.

We all know that God calls and uses us in different ways. From the time I was a kid, God seemed to bring people to me who wanted to talk about the tragedy and abuse they had been through in their lives. I distinctly remember one year at Lutheran summer camp when a girl in our cabin starting talking to me, my best friend, and a few others present about the sexual abuse she had suffered from her babysitter, and that seemed to set the tone for my life.

Throughout the years, many people I have encountered -- sometimes even more men than women -- have talked to me about the horrific things they've been through. A good number of them were abused by people who claimed to be Christian and were even in the ministry, and many of them have a love/hate relationship with both God and religion. Others may disagree, but I have found that immediately quoting Scripture in these cases is just not the ideal approach.

An article I once read and will never forget summed it up perfectly. It was the life testimony of a man in his 40's who was still trying to heal from the sexual abuse he had suffered as a child. He was around 7 years old at the time, and his abuser was a middle-aged man who always wore "a cross around his neck that sparkled in the light" and was a member of the ministry staff.

This man said that every time he sees a cross, he doesn't see the love of Jesus or the graciousness of salvation: he sees himself as going right back to being his 7-year-old self in that terrifying situation -- trapped by his abuser and very distinctly seeing "the cross around his neck glittering in the light." As a child, he felt there was nothing he could do because after all, he believed his abuser "had God on his side," and he knew he didn't stand a chance against "a man of God." Unfortunately, cases like this seem all too common these days.

Can you imagine being at a point where seeing the cross doesn't give you joy at the thought of God's mercy and redemption, but rather takes you back to memories of childhood rape? This is what the cross stood for in this man's mind.

And it perfectly summed up many of the stories people have told me over the years, which made a permanent impression on me.

Because of this, my style of witnessing to people is much more cautious. I'm reminded of Esther in the Bible -- her older cousin Mordecai forbade her to tell anyone of her ethnicity or origins, and I have always marveled at this. I'm assuming that if she told anyone that she was a Jew, it would have immediately given away her faith in the Hebrew God as well. Likewise, I am also assuming that she couldn't tell anyone about the God she believed in, because then people would automatically know she was of Jewish descent. (If I am getting any of this wrong, please feel free to post your corrections.)

And yet, somehow, I believe Esther was able to convey her faith to all those around her, as she told Mordecai that she and her maids would fast before she attempted to appear in front of the king without being summoned, which she knew might lead to her death.

Even before she became queen, Esther surely made an impression on the men who groomed the young women before they were presented to the king, because the Bible says she requested nothing more than what was recommended of her, and she was able to gain their favor. I think Esther was able to communicate her faith without being as obvious as some may have thought she should be, and I have always taken inspiration from that.

This is why I often take a different, and more subtle approach, both online, and in real life. I want to first talk to people about who they are, what they've been through, what htey know and believe, and how they got to that point. I hold off on talking much about faith, God, and Scripture until I have a better idea of where they're coming from.

Many people's worst experiences have been within churches or from people who claimed to be Christian. Because of this, I try to take a more low-key approach when talking to people about the faith we have in our Wonderful God. These people may not yet have a reason to believe that He is wonderful, and for the work God has called me to do, I believe I am to take a more subtle approach. Once I get to know someone (and they have usually poured out their hearts in anger, bitterness, and pain over their past,) I usually segue way into, "Do you ever... Tell God how you feel about all of this? What do you think He says to you in return? Would you like to go to church sometime?" and it carries on from there.

I am not in any way saying that this is the method everyone should use, as we are all called in different ways. But I do see this as a great opportunity to learn from others.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read about me; now I would like to know more about YOU:

* In what ways do you witness to others about Jesus? Do you start up conversations with others, or do you wait for a conversation to occur?

* Do you start by bringing up Bible stories and Scripture right away? What do you find is the best way to go about it?

* What is your approach for inviting others to church?

* And what advice do you have for those who want to start talking to others about Jesus, but feel too shy or unworthy to do so?

Thank you so much for the gracious gift of your time and thoughts!

@seoulsearch
I was not suggesting your posts were more valid, only that you've been around a long time to understand how things work better than newer users.