Is it possible to be greedy for attention?

Let's face it... there are many ways you can be greedy, and I've come to learn it doesn't just involve money.

During the height of my immature days, I loved attention and wanted to be in the spotlight, and I even got annoyed if someone I liked paid a lot more attention to someone else than me... even if that other person deserved it more for any reason. (i.e., almost on the scale of... if you're going to the doctor for a hangnail you reallllly shouldn't complain if you're getting ignored while a stab victim gets treated first... it was soooorta on that level.)

And... I think everybody would agree in this day and age that the social media makes it very, very easy to get used to the attention you can get... even from people who shouldn't matter or some of whom would possibly forget you if they bumped you off their friend or watch list for any reason.

Anyway... what are you guys' thoughts?

haha you'll grow out of it.

when people pay TOO much attention to you and want to see you go to the toilet as well THEN you might say uh guys I think thats enough. Give me some privacy. Thank you.

The problem with attention addicts is, when they grow up enough to not be cute any more they start finding other ways to get attention. This is how drama queens (and kings) are born.

Yeah... one thing I have to keep reminding myself is that celebrities and other famous people aren't actually that lucky. Considering I am a low-key homebody who likes a low-key life and my family especially likes their privacy... I doubt we'd be able to handle it if anyone in our household got famous.

Like... I still remember when President Obama first got elected years ago, I think he got pretty annoyed and cranky at one point early on when he realized how much of his daily life ended up being watched by people and the press sometimes, and he just wanted some personal space lol. (Perhaps, especially being a fairly young president, he wasn't quite prepared for what would happen when he got into a spotlight position...)

And look out for the ones that say "I hate drama". For they are the ones right in the middle, causing all the drama.

I started in ministry when I was 16 yrs old. I traveled for a lot of years. So I was always on stage, always the "special guest" always in front of or talking to people. I did all that before I was married. Now my husband doesn't understand why I don't want to get up in church and sing. Everyone in the church knows who I am, and most churches in the area do too. I've been out of it for a decade and I'm still surprised when people say they remember me and my family when we traveled. Attention is overrated. Do something for the Lord, that's what counts.

It's kinda funny you should mention this, because it does head the nail on the head in some things I have been thinking about lately. XD

I had a discussion with my aunt on the phone once recently, (an area where both of us could relate, because we were the youngest/last born in both of our family units), about how things change when you get just a little older. Like basically... when you're anywhere between 1-5, you don't even have to do anything and everyone around you, even strangers sometimes, will just say how gosh-darn cute you are and give you free toys and cookies.

Then when you get to the age of 10 or so... during that time, everybody is paying attention to the new roundup of babies (which is fair, considering the young tykes do need a lot of attention anyway and they don't stay that small for long... so people should enjoy them while they're little) buuut for you, now you're just beginning to be treated a bit like a mini-adult, not all the attention is on you anymore (at least not in the same way) and *gaspies*, now you're expected to start doing a few things. >.>

Still though... I suppose in some ways, the "I'm cute" stuff can be prolonged for quite a while, just in different ways and depending on how you do it, until you reach young adulthood.

I just find it interesting where you said that when the age of "being cute" ends, people have to turn to other things for attention. I'm.... rather embarrassed to admit it, but there were a lot of areas where I acted like a drama queen. And since I was sometimes at least a bit popular and friendly in a few different internet communities, one person said when I was reflecting back on it that I was probably a little bit like a mini-celebrity back then, considering how many fanfics I wrote but also how much drama I put into things.

I still think that maybe.... part of my issue now or why I am trying to figure out where I'm at in life now is because, to a degree anyway, I genuinely know what it feels like to be a "has-been". I had my golden days in some ways, but the people who used to idolize me and and anything I did are long gone and their focus is on better and more important things these days (rightfully so).

Plus... the internet is just diffent these days. Gone are the times, it seems, where you can just slide into a place and get recognition. I think part of the thing was... people were friendlier on the internet a couple decades ago, not to mention there were some smaller communities that made some topics or fandoms more localized. Perhaps the internet equivalent of, "If you want this brand of steak, you gotta go here because there's nowhere else quite like it that sells it." These days, you've got everybody scattered to the four winds between Tik Tok, Snapchat, Tumblr, Facebook, Instgram, etc etc etc.

But anyway... I sometimes feel a tad like maybe I wasted my twenties in some ways, because... except for a lot of wisdom and experience I learned through some hardships and through talking to friends online and spending a lot of time with them while they were there... I sorta feel like I'm just left with a void during my 30's that I'm only slowly trying to figure out to fill.

After all, what can you do when you still remember what life was like before the internet, and you were also a huge part of the internet in some ways when it was friendly and newish, and now.... even THAT is gone and different, too?

I think what a lot of attention-seekers forget, or choose not to acknowledge, is that attention is two-sided -- people who want a lot of attention have visions of sugarplums dancing through their heads. They daydream of being flooded with POSITIVE attention, such as an entourage of people chanting, "Yes, yes, yes, you wonderful G.O.A.T. ('greatest of all time',) we need more, more, more of you and your utter fabulousness!"

The thing is, the more exposed someone is, the more open they are for the very ugly side of attention as well. Admiration is guaranteed to bring just as many, if not more, haters, critics, and people who will follow your every move -- for the sole purpose of finding things to throw stones at. And it won't be good enough to criticize just you -- your family, friends, and anyone you associate will all be fair game. Very few people can stay consistently healthy under that kind of constant critique.

Both extremes are damaging, as the Bible consistently warns about pride and self-idolization, as well as the damage caused by the judgments of others. Just imagine living through both extremes all at one time, and all of the time.

I can relate to what you're saying in many of your threads and posts, Lenoralana.

When I was younger, I think I felt like no one was listening to me, so back then, for me, it was more about trying to get someone to take me seriously. Now days, I'm thankful to have a few close friends I can bounce ideas around with, no matter how outlandish, and that's more than good enough for me.

I discovered that it wasn't really attention or admiration that I was seeking, but rather to be heard, and maybe even in some cases, understood, whic was a game-changer.

I don't know what God has in store for you, but hope and pray that you will find His path of what works for you.

Your post reminds me of something that another friend said to me quite a while back, when I was kinda complaining about the type of attention I was getting on social media when I kept complaining about my life and whatever. She was like, "You want your cake but you don't want to hate it."

That's the problem with throwing stuff out there for attention or trying to get attention, I guess. You can throw anything out there you want, buuuut as I've had to learn the hard way... whatever you get in return is not always gonna be according to a nice, mentally scripted internal fantasy/outcome. Sometimes.... people might tell other people. Or they might do something else with the information. Or sometimes, some people may even turn out to be not quite what you thought.

Anyway thank you, it's been very nice to talk about stuff on this forum and it has been helping me a lot. It is nice to have a place where I can talk to like-minded, level-headed people.

As you pointed out, I think the internet in general has become a much more negative place. It seems much more "typical", at least from what I see on the few places I go, that nit-picking has become a past-time for most people online.

A lot of people seem to love being able to get away with anonymously taking out their frustrations on others.

Your comment about growing up in an age of "friendly" social media and how much that's changed (along with what you've lost because of it,) had me thinking as well. I grew up before the internet, and my outlet was paper letters. I used to write strangers through pen pal exchanges and eventually met a few of them in person. My, my, how things have changed. These days, you don't dare give out your address -- back then, we used to send "friendship books" around with our addresses in them in order to try to find more pen pals. Most people think it's crazy to meet someone off the internet -- back then, I was meeting people I'd only known through letters, and there was no Google search to see if they had a criminal record.

Unfortunately, we all grew up and everyone stopped writing. I still mourn the loss of those days, as it was a big part of my life. I've looked up some "modern" pen pal communities but now it's all about "mail art" -- how fancy you can make your letters appear so that the recipient can post them all over Instagram, and people asking you to send them packages of gifts to "exchange" (but it often turns out to be one-sided.)

Jiminy Crickets, do I ever miss "the good old days!" So believe me, I can greatly sympathize with what you're saying. Unfortunately, the only choice we have is to try to move on and and adjust in the ways God gives us. As much as I miss old-fashioned snail mail, I have to admit that I love the instantaneity of the internet, but I'm still learning to go with the flow.

I guess it's like the old saying goes, "Where God closes a door, He opens a window." I know what it's like though to remain standing at the foot of the old door, knocking repeatedly even though we know it's futile, but our heart just won't give up hope that maybe someday, it will open once more.


Keep talking to us, Lenoralana!

You ask really good questions and bring up a lot of interesting points, and I have been enjoying your threads.

I kinda think since God knows our every move from when we sleep and wake up to our sitting down (and even, going to the toilet) thats enough attention for me and I dont really need to crave it from anyone else.

I dont know about you Lenora but I just talk to Him and have quiet time and He is there. I dont feel like then Im annoying Him or demanding anyones attention.

I think a lot of celebs just couldnt cope being in the limelight when they dont really have that relationship with God first. Thats why many of them turn to drugs etc to block everything out I suppose.

Its natural that you want to be heard but Ive learned that to be heard you dont always need to shout. God is listening and hears even the smallest voice.

when our cat wants us to notice her she just sits right in front of the tv lol.

Seoulsearch: Your feelings about pen and paper letters are a perfect description of how gamers feel when their favorite multiplayer games become old fashioned.

If you load up a copy of command and conquer these days and try to connect to a server, it feels like you are knocking on the gates of a boarded-up ghost town.

Yeah... I think sometimes it's easy to think that the door is just temporarily closed when God closes it. It can also make it harder to notice the open window even when it does open.

I think though, I've found an open window at this forum. It's very nice to be able to talk about things, and I feel like this forum has been filling a social/emotional need I have been lacking for quite a long time now, and it's also nice to see people discussing scriptures in the way that it's meant to be discussed in a way that makes people think and they can learn something.

I am so sorry here but.... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAH

I'm sorry I'm sorry it's just the way you said that first line. XD But it is true.... but hey, would you believe that sometimes I have even talked to God while I'm on the toilet? I figure since He designed us with the ability to... go to the bathroom and understands that function... He is not shocked or bothered if I say something while I'm doing it because He is right there anyway.

And... unlike us silly humans who might be embarrassed by it, I don't think He cares that much....

who needs youtube?

Its got ads on it now all through it anyway haha

I think those who really like all the attention ought to get into drama, stage and screen where they can do their thing and shine, or they could work in advertising or publicity.

Or in christian circles that probably means being a teacher or pastor and doing conferences and thing like that. Or writing books. But the thing about being a christian is that the fame and glory is not really for you. Its for God.

othwerise, just have REALLY big hair. That will get you noticed.

I get so much attention, I got people banging on my bathroom door every time I need to go!
Man, it can be hard raising kids!!