For the People Who Champion Lifetime Singleness - What's Your Advice for Dealing with Single Sexuality?

Ah, the "genuine believer" part explains it. If somebody is struggling with something, and if he tries to make himself believe it's okay, he's not a "real" christian?

Thank you for the thorough walkthrough there and I am sorry that you’ve gone through that stuff Seoulsearch.

I just didn’t understand what you meant by a consolation prize in respect to everything else and what you were up against.

I hope you dropped those... “Christians” like hot potatoes 🥔 as soon as you saw them justifying the so called normality of their lust. Not to say Christian men haven’t struggled with lust but excusing sin and justifying it as natural without any intention of changing suggests to me that you were dealing with professing Christians/worldly men. “This is who I am.” No. That is who they accepted to be.

I do wonder, you seem to have some bizarre stories of men who entertain unrighteous things or behaviors. Where are you finding these “Christians?” Do you have a vetting process? Are you listening to the Lord? Are you getting God’s go ahead? Do you have friends who can vouch for or approve of the men you encounter? In other words, wise counsel?

It’s like you’re telling one horror story after another, lol. We want a romance flick now, where love is in the air and it is God ordained. If your methods aren’t working, as the saying goes “doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result is the definition of insanity.” Maybe try something else, if you keep getting fake Christian men?

As if robot sex doll companions weren't bad enough, porn has crossed over into virtual reality. I don't know the research on this, but I have always wondered what the scope of effect (or if we even have a way of measuring it) virtual reality has on people's bodies, minds, and souls. How successful is it in convincing human beings as a whole that an experience is real? And how do we continue to firmly establish a line between reality and fantasy, when technology is doing everything it can to blur the two? These are things I ponder and ask God about all the time.

You can extrapolate whatever you want Lynx, but that’s not what I am saying. I think you may be offended on behalf of Seoul for no reason. I am simply offering conversation that may prove beneficial. Also I wasn’t bringing that verse up (as a solution), but addressing its misuse. 🙃

Ben,

Before I go into all your questions asking me about my own personal life, it's only fair if you share with me first.

* What has your dating experience been like?

* Has the Lord given you a very clear "yay" or "nay" on every girl you've gone after? Were you absolutely clear about each and every one, and did you obey every step you were very specifically given?

* Do you have any women friends you talk to about these experiences? Because in mine, they are very common and not "bizarre" as you describe them.

* What does the Lord tell you about your future wife? Does He tell you where and when to meet her, and where you should go, or how you should prepare?

* What does your wise counsel look like? How big of a circle of trusted elders and friends do you go to about your deepest feelings, and what they believe God is telling you to do about them? What kinds of areas do you seek wise counsel in regarding your own life?

* Is there nothing in your own life that you keep doing more and more of, yet it's bringing you the same results, but you either won't step up or out, or don't know a better way?

If I remember right, you have posted before about having fears about trying to step out in your own life.

I'm fine with answering your questions -- I just ask that you would answer them for yourself and in as much personal detail as you are expecting me to go into first, because I want to know how someone's own advice is working for them before I take the time to answer.

There are many, many times I makes posts and you often make replies that basically say, "What kind of crazy world are you living in, Seoul? Because none of what you're saying even sounds possible to me."

All I can say is that you and I sound like two very different people who have very different experiences. That's not bad, but just because you can't relate to a great majority of what I say doesn't mean that my reality warrants your asking me to prove it to your standards every time I post.

I certainly don't mind questions.

But when it becomes a matter of, "How can that be? It's not how it is for me, so how can you convince me what you're saying is real? And are you SURE it's not because you're not living up the the standards of Christianity I am going to lay out here and check mark with you one by one?", I know I'm never going to appease someone who constantly asks those questions, and I don't feel a need to.

Yes, I have fine Christian counsel in my life, and I do seek the Lord.

Thank you for asking.

You can extrapolate whatever you want Lynx, but that’s not what I am saying. I think you may be offended on behalf of Seoul for no reason. I am simply offering conversation that may prove beneficial. Also I wasn’t bringing that verse up (as a solution), but addressing its misuse. 🙃

There are many, many times I makes posts and you often make replies that basically say, "What kind of crazy world are you living in, Seoul? Because none of what you're saying even sounds possible to me."

You don’t have to feel the need, as you don’t, to answer my questions. Consider them rhetorical, lol. Self reflective. Hopefully they in some way offer a bit of wisdom and if they don’t, I tried.

Thanks for your honesty.

I never get offended on somebody else's behalf when I think the person can defend herself. That's too much effort for me. Any self respecting feline would rather go take a nap in a tree.


This right here. I have also noticed this happen, over and over, so I thought I'd ask why it happens. Also, HOW it happens, because it didn't make any sense to me. But if you disregard Christians who try to justify things they struggle with as "not REAL Christians" then it all makes sense. It's sad, but I can understand how you can claim you have never met any Christians like that.

You know how people say RINO’s? Republican in name only? It seems there are Christians in name only and we can tell a tree by its fruit. And if they truly are Christians they are in desperate need of discipleship.

You know how people say RINO’s? Republican in name only? It seems there are Christians in name only and we can tell a tree by its fruit. And if they truly are Christians they are in desperate need of discipleship.

These kinds of thoughts within Christian culture make me appreciate people like @cinder, whom many don't realize has spent a good percentage of her life working as a missionary in places and situations that most people would never want to touch. But she never makes me feel like I'm not a real Christian because I don't have the same interests, or because I don't know the Bible as well as she does, or because know how to talk to people from completely different cultures and languages about the love of Jesus like she does. She takes me as I am, but is respectfully honest with me about both the good and the bad.

i dont quite understand where the weirdos are seouls have encountered are coming from but maybe the lutheran church is far randier than anyone thought?

It's ironic that singles are often seen as being single because of the assumptions that something is wrong with us and we're not "working hard enough" to find someone.

I think most everyone in today's conservative Christian culture is all too aware of Christians In Name Only.

The problem is, labeling oneself a Christian without any substantial beliefs behind it has become the cultural norm. I have to wonder if the real fight that the church is facing is trying to prove to people that they actually sin, because almost everything today is either justified or labeled a "mistake" -- certainly not a rebellion against God.

I often wonder how it's going with Christian parents these days if they want to teach their children not to smoke weed, because the cultural shift has made it completely "normal." (And I know that weed is a huge area of contention between some Christians, so I'm not certainly not criticizing anyone who is for it, I'm just saying -- when I was growing up, once upon a time -- it was illegal.)

I also find that most Christians (and I'm certainly not excluded from this) define other Christians (and what their fruit is) according to how they life their own Christian life. I'm not saying this about you, Ben, but rather, I'm venting my frustrations about the Christian communities I've been part of out loud.

So in other words, if another person doesn't think, act, do, or not do (what each Christians thinks they should do,) they must not be a real Christian because 1. they sin differently than the person judging them does, and 2. they're not producing the same kind of fruit or what the other person wants to see.

For instance, I've had several people both online and in real life tell me I'm not Christian enough because I don't quote Scripture as often as they do, or because I don't evangelize everyone I come across as they do, or a million other reasons that I don't fit into their criteria.

Not only is there the issue of "Just what IS a REAL Christian anyway?", but there's also a line somewhere that says, "Not only do you have to be a REAL Christian, but you have to be a real Christian the way I'M being one."

These kinds of thoughts within Christian culture make me appreciate people like @cinder, whom many don't realize has spent a good percentage of her life working as a missionary in places and situations that most people would never want to touch. But she never makes me feel like I'm not a real Christian because I don't have the same interests, or because I don't know the Bible as well as she does, or because know how to talk to people from completely different cultures and languages about the love of Jesus like she does. She takes me as I am, but is respectfully honest with me about both the good and the bad.

One of my greatest frustrations (and avoidance) with other Christians are those who are much more interested in making other Christians into being like THEM, rather than helping people become more like Christ, and I tend to run from anyone who tries to mold me into their way of thinking just for the sake of being more like them.

Considering that there are over 45,000 Christian denominations, a "real Christian" is a subjective term.