WOMENS' SURVEY - Why You Ended the Relationship? After a few dates or many months.

My picker is wrong due to my covert narcissist father.
The men I picked in the past were not humble/Did not understand how much work it takes from both people to have a successful relationship.

I backed away from dating a year ago after my mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer. The guy I was dating at the time was incredibly selfish. I’m glad I broke it off so that I could focus on my family. I don’t miss dating at all. Now that I’m born again, I really do not see myself dating… Ever again.
I feel like a complete and total alien, but since I’ve gotten really close with God, I’m totally OK with it. He loves me just as I am. I don’t need to prove myself to any human, it’s a relief 🕊

Well it's pretty rare on this forum that saying "X gender only respond" is followed through. It's an open forum.
What's obvious to some isn't always obvious to all.
Men have experiences with women that give insight as well. Limiting what you're able to learn means you learn that much less.

A new book has come out in the bookshop that all the women are buying (sold two last night) called She is not your rehab.

google it to see what its about.

Well spoken. You were wise to break things off with the selfish person. Humility is a key attribute for any relationship to grow and prosper. Lost my mom to cancer in 2019 and my dad to cancer in 2008. You are right. God loves you just the way that you are. No, you need not prove yourself to anyone.

I’m sorry to hear of the loss of both your parents to cancer. 💓 Cancer is not easy and it’s affecting many many people now a days. It’s all too common. It takes and takes and takes.

Looking to hear from some more of our insightful women!
(only two so far)

Why did you stop dating the guy you were seeing?
(Let's say after you went out with him at least 3 times)

Why did you end the relationship?
(Let's say you went out a few weeks to over a year)

...Looking in particular for reasons other than cheating, violence and drug use...

I believe that Rehab is the name of a woman mentioned in the bible that helped a couple of spies from the wilderness from Moses camp. No, that was actually Rahab. My bad.

Well Rahab must have gone to rehab. She showed up later in Jesus' bloodline.

Good grief, a hooker in Christ's family tree... there's something you don't hear preached about very often.

Looking to hear from some more of our insightful women!
(only two so far)

Why did you stop dating the guy you were seeing?
(Let's say after you went out with him at least 3 times)

Why did you end the relationship?
(Let's say you went out a few weeks to over a year)

...Looking in particular for reasons other than cheating, violence and drug use...

perhaps they have been the most common reasons

You know, sometimes it is just simple. The Lord shows you that the person isn’t right for you. It can seem sudden, but should be appreciated and respected. You don’t want to be with someone if it’s not right. Sometimes there isn’t a specific reason, but a feeling.

I’m sorry it seems that you haven’t gotten answers, but you should pray and ask the Lord to show you what’s happening. Ask him to reveal what if anything you may need to work on.

I personally believe that 6 months is a short amount of time for 1 relationship, but to have had two close relationships, either girl could have felt it just wasn’t meant to be and certainly would be justified. It’s a get to know you period in that amount of time really. It should be expected earlier on.

Perhaps. Let's see if it is. So far one person mentioned selfishness. The other mentioned drugs.

So Ruby, just with the last two fellows you decided to stop seeing (that you went out with 3 or more times), what were the main reasons you decided not to proceed? This is all anonymous.

I am sorry Sculpt but the reasons were the ones already mentioned that you do not wish to hear.

My suggestion to you is if you are seeking to meet someone rather than wanting to know what not to do, surrender to the Lord and ask him to change you by his spirit into the man he wants you to be. He knows everything about you and where you may miss the mark and what your weaknesses may be. When you allow him to change you (this is a process and takes time) then he will bring the right woman across your path.

Note you do not have to be perfect but someone who is totally surrendered to him and not wanting to be in control is someone he can work on and change. In this process you can meet someone. Problem is most of us haven't totally surrendered and am wanting to be in control ourselves, trying to change on our imperfections in the flesh which will not last especially when trials or difficulties hit. I am in the process of doing this myself.

Well my reason is they were characters in whatever book I was reading at the time and when I finished the book the relationship was over.

There's also the he was imaginary and I finally outgrew imaginary friends.

But you're motivating me to start a new book soon so I can be in a steady (if brief because good book I'll finish in a day or two) relationship again.

Thanks for the loving and Godly advice, Ruby, I appreciate it.

I did ask you about the last two men you decided to stop seeing... I am sorry they involved cheating, violence or drugs, rough sign of the times I suppose. I would assume sometime in your entire life you decided to stop seeing a guy for a reasons other than cheating, violence or drugs? Can you remember what the reason(s) was? Maybe it's a reason you had in your past that you wouldn't have now.

Thanks for the loving advice, LoveComesSoftly (love you name, by the way), I appreciate it. Responding to your 1st paragraph: I do appreciate and respect anyone's decision to stop seeing someone. In my case, I don't know that God showed them anything. They certainly didn't mention God showing them anything. I don't doubt sometimes it's a feeling, sometimes a more practical issue, or a combination; but there's usually a main one.

Responding to your 2nd paragraph: I did ask the Lord to show me what happened and if there was anything to work on. Responding to your 3rd paragraph: I never doubted (and never said) their reasons were justified, I hope I didn't give that impression. I just said I didn't know what they were. Maybe reasons were because I was white, or too thin, or too tall, and those would be justified in the sense whatever their reasons are they are automatically justified. Nobody needs to get defensive about it. It's just information. But you have to admit, "Wasn't meant to be" is a euphemism, that is, it represents the real reasons that are not being revealed.

So LoveComesSoftly, just with the last two fellows you decided to stop seeing (that you went out with 3 or more times), what were the main reasons you decided not to proceed? This is all anonymous.