A walk in the park

Like many families, we have dealt with the difficulties of homosexual relatives. My wife and I continue to have a loving relationship with our gay relatives, even while maintaining our sense of right and wrong. It’s difficult but God’s grace makes it possible.

We are now dealing with an issue that makes homosexuality seem like a walk in the park, a transexual grandson.

His parents have fully embraced his choice so they can maintain a relationship with him. (I call that blackmail). I instinctively call him by his childhood name and identify her as he, a major faux pas. My daughter has corrected my speech several times; that hasn’t gone well. We now just ignore each other on this issue. This issue has changed our relationship.

We love the person we know; we do not know “Helen”. I took him on trips, we went fishing and camping, read books together, held long conversations; I taught him to drive. We enjoyed each other’s company. He went off to college. Now, we don’t even know what she looks like. How do we talk to him? Do we dare bring up the past when she was a he? What do we do if, (actually when), I have a slip of the tongue and say his name or use a gender specific pronoun? Do I give her a hug? Compliment him on her appearance? What should I buy her for a birthday gift? Will we ever really have a relationship again or will it always be like walking on land mines?

Anyway, my only solution so far has been to stay away, to avoid the pain and confusion. It feels like killing my own grandson.

How old is your grandson?
Is he a believer in Christ?

He is not a she. He will always be a he. I think your grandson is already dead. I personally would avoid him and accept that he is gone.

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I do understand your position, it's just really a really difficult decision for the heart. If I learn tomorrow he is dead, I would be devastated.

If he ever believed in Christ then he is saved. The promise of God to save all who believe can not be broken. Believers in Christ have the freewill to make bad decisions. It happens everyday. However in this case, it seems unlikely that he ever was a believer. Only God knows.

I would make the assumption that he never believed in Christ. All real solutions in life start with the gospel message and belief in Christ. But he has made a sinful and evil decision that rejects God's design and purpose for his life. You can not "embrace" his decision without saying evil is OK. I think you have to avoid contact with him except to give him the gospel message. But be prepared to have it thrown back in your face. He has set himself up for a life of misery.

You have my sympathy, but he is an adult and this is really out of your hands.

Your counsel is wise. I am aware of the effect his decision will potentially have on him. I cannot see anything but misery and death. I love this little guy.

One of the reasons I posted this thread, and it was difficult; is to also highlight the dangers parents face when their children leave home for college. These kids are in read danger if they fall under the spell of the evil that is the liberal American universities. Parents may not be aware of the potential dangers; these people care for nothing but their own agendas. I believe my Grandson is a victim of a liberal agenda he did not understand. I simply would not let any High School graduate attend a school away from home and out of parental view. It is playing roulette.

Like many families, we have dealt with the difficulties of homosexual relatives. My wife and I continue to have a loving relationship with our gay relatives, even while maintaining our sense of right and wrong. It’s difficult but God’s grace makes it possible.

We are now dealing with an issue that makes homosexuality seem like a walk in the park, a transexual grandson.

His parents have fully embraced his choice so they can maintain a relationship with him. (I call that blackmail). I instinctively call him by his childhood name and identify her as he, a major faux pas. My daughter has corrected my speech several times; that hasn’t gone well. We now just ignore each other on this issue. This issue has changed our relationship.

We love the person we know; we do not know “Helen”. I took him on trips, we went fishing and camping, read books together, held long conversations; I taught him to drive. We enjoyed each other’s company. He went off to college. Now, we don’t even know what she looks like. How do we talk to him? Do we dare bring up the past when she was a he? What do we do if, (actually when), I have a slip of the tongue and say his name or use a gender specific pronoun? Do I give her a hug? Compliment him on her appearance? What should I buy her for a birthday gift? Will we ever really have a relationship again or will it always be like walking on land mines?

Anyway, my only solution so far has been to stay away, to avoid the pain and confusion. It feels like killing my own grandson.

Your story is not uncommon. There is no easy solution.

I have a 32 year old grandson who has embraced the homosexual life style. He was brought up in a Christian family, in a Christian community, a regular church attendee and participant in many of the church's ministry programs. He was an A student in high school and earned a full scholarship to a Christian college. During his first year of college, he and his roommate "came out of the closet", quit school and jumped completely into the gay lifestyle. We have not seen nor spoken to him since. We know that he is alive and well because he occasionally talks to one of his sisters.

We pray for him and his friend, and we send our messages of love to him via his sister. We would love to see him.

My daughter was involved in a very conservative Christian movement when the kids were small. I advised her to be careful but she wouldn't listen. After several years she finally realized what was happening; eventually rejected everything.

I can't even imagine how difficult it could be. I have had people in my family who have chosen the homosexual lifestyle. I loved them and was never unkind. Someone who does the whole transgender thing, however, is above and beyond disturbing. I could never engage with them at all and I could never pretend that their gender was actually changed. It's absurd.

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Hopefully this tranny thing is a fad. And if it is a fad, that fad will end. And when it does, then all these guys that wasted so many years trying to play at being women will be super, super mad at anyone who encouraged them in being a tranny. They will murder the people who encouraged them in this lunacy. If their parents promoted it, then they will literally skin their parents alive. And their parents will richly deserve it. And if I'm on the jury at their murder trial, I can tell you right now I'm gonna acquit them - justifiable homicide.

My suggestion is to not encourage tranny lunacy.
My suggestion is not to lie to yourself or others by calling him a "she". That just legitimizes it. And worse than that, it trains your mind to accept lies. This whole thing is mind control.

I really worry about his future. He is 29yo and in his best years. He is healthy, young and strong. I'm not so sure this works out so well when he is 50, showing age, used up and just another "Tranny". I am kept in the dark as my family knows my values and they avoid any discussions with me but I believe he has gone beyond the point of return, if you understand.

Don't fall into despair. Love never gives up hope. Pray. But never, ever, ever speak lies - like referring to a man as "she".