What's the point of marriage ?

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Aug 28, 2020
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#81
If i remember correctly the bible state that marriage will no longer exist (between a man and a woman), so what's the point of getting married or even having a girlfriend ? Why go through the trouble of trying to find someone to marry only to lose them in heaven ? I personally look forward to sex with my future spouse (if i even get married) and even thought about raising a family. But for God to just take that all away seems unfair and unreasonable. Why even create marriage in the first place only to say "sorry you can't be together anymore you have to marry my son (Jesus)" I thinks its just unfair to remove someone i've spent nearly my whole life with, and make it impossible to have any children. So is marriage REALLY worth it ? or is it just a waste of time ?
Just to finish off my monster essay from earlier, I wanted to throw something else out there because I think I know where you're coming from on this and I hope this gives some level of comfort:

The apostle Paul mentions that it can actually be better, in some cases, to remain single. You would still be able to have fun with family and friends, but, more importantly, it would help you bring yourself closer to God. He brings joy and happiness into your life, and you focus on the things that are going on in your life.

Paul also said that if you do feel the urge to be married, by all means, go for it. For others, it may be better to have a helper, so long as God is still at the center of it and that it honors Him. When God created Adam, a man, He saw he was lonely, and Eve, a woman, was created to be a helper. So, as it says, two became one.

Even when you are in heaven, one can argue that you're still bonded with that person, and since the people on here haven't been there yet (hence we're typing currently, while we're alive, unless there's something I'm missing), I wouldn't be surprised if the people that were married in life are still together because they've been through it together. Why give up good friends, when, in the end that's what they're suppose to be?

God is love, and that comes with a whole slew of ways to look at it. He would never take that same love away from you. Lust for the flesh and envy are other things altogether because they're sin in nature. But so long as that's not what you're focused on and instead the relationship, love for someone else will never go away because God will be (and should be) at the center of it.

I'm a 35 year old single man. I've never been married, engaged, nor in long relationships. Today, if I wanted to, and without sounding arrogant, nor do I want to make it look like that I'm bragging because I'm not, I can be with a woman. I'm not desperate and there are women that would probably want me starting a relationship with them. I do, however, have standards if I do start dating again. These women that would want to start a relationship with me are not what I would call the most godly, if you get what I'm saying.

Right now, I'm choosing to remain single, and, honestly, I'm happy! I can do the things I want to do, focus more on work, and spend more time with family and friends. I went from being 330 pounds down to, just under, 190 in the past decade, I'm ballroom dancing, travelling more, working out more, dieting better, meeting new people, life is much better than what it was when I was pursuing women. It actually made my life harder because I was pursuing them, rather than what God had laid out for me. Besides, I missed out on so much in my 20s and in the early parts of my 30s, so I'm playing a little bit of catch up.

At this moment in time, when it comes to a relationship and marriage, I'm playing it by ear. I don't know what is coming my way. I can say there is a woman from my dance classes that, seemingly, has expressed interest in me and the temptation is there to ask her out. She seems nice enough and every time we begin classes, I'm the guy she wants to dance with, and we are friends on social media and has messaged me a few times, so this might be enough to qualify her liking me. But I haven't made any effort to do show that I want a relationship because I really do want to be single, for now. However, some people in class are planning on our first get together outside of the ballroom studio, and this woman is planning on joining us. The time we're looking at is right around her birthday, and I don't know what's going to happen. We may fall for each other or not at all. Again, I'm planning on being single for awhile, but God may have something else in mind.

To wrap this up, God wants you to be happy and has your best interest in mind. Being single or married both have their pros and cons. Top thing to takeaway from whichever path you take, God needs to be the center of it. I'm choosing to be single because I've not only have been struggling to get a longer term relationship, but also the way many women of today are, I don't want to get involved their wickedness. You can say that I was a victim, in the sense that I was stood up multiple times, lied to, lied about, and mocked severely. In addition to that, whenever I was taking someone out or was told 'yes' by some, I find out later that they were already seeing other guys, so I was just another notch for validation. That's why I'm not jumping on this supposed opportunity with this other woman and why I want to be single. But if I do get married someday, I hope and pray it's to someone that I can have a godly relationship with, and when we both ascend to heaven, we continue our friendship and fellowship together. I hope this helps and certainly hope for the best for ya. Ask me later about two friends of mine, if you're curious. Maybe it'll help make more decisions for yourself in the future!
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,418
9,405
113
#83
Try to keep it PG here... Thank you.
He is not being lewd. He is role-playing as his nickname. Gojira is otherwise known as Godzilla.
 
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Gojira

Guest
#85
He is not being lewd. He is role-playing as his nickname. Gojira is otherwise known as Godzilla.
Yeah, not quite sure where that's coming from.

In response, I must say...

 
S

Starsdance

Guest
#86
Marriage is not only about satisfying one's own needs, but also about glorifying God's name and be a witness to him ,let go of my own thoughts and seek God's will entirely,which is not easy for me.
May God have mercy on me
 
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Gojira

Guest
#87
Marriage is not only about satisfying one's own needs, but also about glorifying God's name and be a witness to him ,let go of my own thoughts and seek God's will entirely,which is not easy for me.
May God have mercy on me
Marriage is about denying self. Obviously not in totality, but it forces you to grow up. Or, the marriage will likely dissolve. Yes, the woman must be obedient to her husband, but the husband must love his wife self-sacrificially. Both of these are a denial one's self.
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
4,433
2,419
113
#88
Marriage is about denying self. Obviously not in totality, but it forces you to grow up. Or, the marriage will likely dissolve. Yes, the woman must be obedient to her husband, but the husband must love his wife self-sacrificially. Both of these are a denial one's self.
And here's the start of 1,000 arguments: how obedient does the wife have to be to a husband who doesn't love her self-sacrificially? And to maintain parity: how self-sacrificially does a husband have to love a disobedient wife?

And while it's nice to say that one should do their duty regardless of what the other party does in real life we're talking about the potential to live life abused and being made to feel worthless and unloved / unappreciated when we try to follow just one side of the commands.
 
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Gojira

Guest
#89
And here's the start of 1,000 arguments: how obedient does the wife have to be to a husband who doesn't love her self-sacrificially? And to maintain parity: how self-sacrificially does a husband have to love a disobedient wife?

And while it's nice to say that one should do their duty regardless of what the other party does in real life we're talking about the potential to live life abused and being made to feel worthless and unloved / unappreciated when we try to follow just one side of the commands.
Yep, all those things are true. I stated the ideal, not the potential pitfalls. Nevertheless, this is God's call to us, as I understand it.

My human opinion? If a woman's being obedient to her detriment, it's time to stop, maybe even flee. And, the man should not self-sacrificially love to the point of being a doormat or denying the essence of who he is. Obviously there is a balance -- again, in my human opinion.
 

OneOfHis

Well-known member
Mar 24, 2019
1,430
2,209
113
#90
God may have made marriage to represent our relationship with Him and I highly doubt anyone in heaven is going to feel ungrateful or like He took anything from us.

We are going to see how generous He is and appreciate these things that are most likely beyond our understanding at this point.


If i remember correctly the bible state that marriage will no longer exist (between a man and a woman), so what's the point of getting married or even having a girlfriend ? Why go through the trouble of trying to find someone to marry only to lose them in heaven ? I personally look forward to sex with my future spouse (if i even get married) and even thought about raising a family. But for God to just take that all away seems unfair and unreasonable. Why even create marriage in the first place only to say "sorry you can't be together anymore you have to marry my son (Jesus)" I thinks its just unfair to remove someone i've spent nearly my whole life with, and make it impossible to have any children. So is marriage REALLY worth it ? or is it just a waste of time ?