How should one treat the homeless?

I usually spare some change if I'm approached by a homeless person. I have a home, a job, savings. I'm always warm and I always have food, as well as money for leisure items. However tonight I was approached in a backlane (alley) very close to my home by a homeless person asking me if he could use my phone. I declined by way of an excuse. It prompted me to think about how best to deal with homeless people. Any thoughts would be most welcome. Also, apologies if this isn't the right place to post.

A man approaching a woman in an alley just seems/ feels a little creepy.
Probably good that you declined. You had no way to know if he would try to grab you or run off with your phone.
As far as how to deal with homeless, I don't have any answer for you, but very good question and I look forward to seeing the answers it brings.

While your post does not say so, it sounds like you were alone. If so there should be warning signs flashing all round. Your first priority must should be to protect yourself. The homeless person knew very well what position he placed you in. He attempted to take advantage of you and you were absolutely correct in refusing.

Please be more careful.

These are people who have nothing to lose and everything to gain by going to jail for any sort of assault or theft.

You on the other hand, you enjoy physical health. You are also a nice woman...which many are going to see as prey for assault of rape, beating, or just to see the demons inside of your brain.

Money given to homeless just buys them "recreation money" which they use for drugs and alcohol...which often is shared with a single mother who has addictions herself...just so they can get at the children of these mom's.

It takes professionals to truly help them. Otherwise you are helping them continue to be homeless.

All good replies/posts to consider.

And, please Take care, be careful, be safe!

There are a lot of homeless nearby where I live and work, especially by the train/bus stations. I sometimes walk across a busy park and there are a lot of homeless there as well. I try not to interact with them for safety reasons as there are some who are not mentally stable, but I am polite if they are polite. The homeless near me do not seem dangerous but one never knows; they don't seem to be like the drug addicts you hear about living in San Francisco or Los Angeles. I have given the homeless money sometimes, especially if they are waiting right outside a food place. Otherwise, I prefer to not interact but just be polite for safety reasons.

Virtually all the homeless I see are homeless men. Thankfully I have not seen homeless children and hardly any homeless women, but I would be more inclined to interact with them more.

I always offer to buy food. Never cash or phone use. Best to fonate to a charity or volunteer with trained people. Safer than approaching alone. Its hard to wslk by though

Homelessness is not a one size fits all issue as some suggest. I was homeless for five years. Fortunately I still had a job and was able to eat and get to work, but still homeless. Nor have I ever been to jail.

Money is usually not a good choice. As many have said it is often used for drugs or alcohol. Offering to buy them food or even an item they're Clearly in need of is often a safer bet.
I'd also agree giving up your phone or any personal item is also unwise as people (homeless or not) can often be shady or potentially have questionable motives.

A good test to see what kind of person you're dealing with is if they ask for money to buy food, offer to buy them that food. If they refuse they likely didn't want food at all.
If they agree then chances are they're more likely a person down on their luck than someone that's simply resigned to living a homeless lifestyle because it fits them. And that may be a person to be more willing to help more often.

But in all cases, as mentioned above, use caution.

Like there human beings.

I'm wondering why was the lady in a alley. A back alley screams homelessness to me. That's normally where homeless people would be

Yeah, this.

Also when you go on a road trip, carry a couple cans of beans or greens, with pop-tops (so they don't need can openers to get the food out.) If you meet people asking for money, offer them food as a litmus test.

Safety is better than carelessness, but you're painting a whole group with a very broad brush here. There are many individuals in that group, with different reasons for being homeless, different goals and different world views. The way you phrased it, EVERYBODY homeless is drinking and doing drugs.

Just because someone is homeless doesn't mean he's automatically all those things you said they are.

If you did not intend to paint the whole group with that brush, maybe use some qualifiers like "some" and "might." Like, "Money given to homeless sometimes just buys them "recreation money" which they use for drugs and alcohol..." or "When you give money to a homeless person you never know if it might just be buying him "recreation money" which he'll use for drugs and alcohol..."

As someone who has worked extensively with the homeless shelters and missions and various homeless advocacy groups...
I know exactly what I am talking about. These people have degraded themselves into beast status...a very smart beast but beasts nonetheless.

I can still hear "Victory in Jesus" by the men they sang before every meal. It's unique I'll give it that...one you can't forget.

And yes I use a very broad brush... because I can very accurately. These people are not in their right mind...(of course for reasons good and bad) but they are highly dangerous to be around...for anyone. They are very predatory and opportunistic. Every last one of them. The extremely limited few who aren't...they don't exist.

Wow. Guess I'd better be real careful to never be homeless. Don't want to become a smart beast.

You just called Subhumanoidal a smart beast too. Or is there a time limit on this? Do you have to be homeless for X amount of time before you become a beast? Does living in your car count as homeless, or do you have to live under a bridge to become a beast?

(Yeah there's more than a little sarcasm in this post. Basically I don't agree with you at all. They are humans too, no matter what you call them. Some are not to be trusted, just like in every group of humans... even church congregations. That doesn't mean they are ALL untrustworthy.)

Oh but that's not true...
Very few people who become homeless and sleep in their cars stay homeless for long...and the only reason they sleep in their cars is because of pride...they could go to friends and couch surf for a bit...but their pride keeps them from doing so.
They never are caught on the street begging for money from strangers.
They do what is necessary and get back on their feet and back to living in an apartment...

But the ones on the street homeless are dangerous predators...the street is their home. Most are suffering from various mental health issues to begin with and the situation is compounded by chemical dependency. Their families have written them off long ago. They know exactly where they are living and why.

They are opportunistic predators and leeches on society.

On the face of it, asking for a phone in a back alley to make a phone call does appear dangerous - especially now that we don't remember phone numbers and rely on personal address books. And I think most people are aware of the sensitivity in approaching someone, especially a woman, in the dark. Safety's really important!

On the other hand, I'd think there are lots of reasons why people become homeless, and lots of ways that different people ask for help.

I've often wondered what I'd do if I became homeless. I'd have no idea what to do! I'd probably be too shy to sit on a busy crowded street, or too nervous to approach a group of people to ask for help. And what would I ask for? I'd feel awkward to ask someone to make an effort to go out of their way and queue up to buy me a hot drink. Much easier to ask for a couple of euros so I can buy one myself.

It's difficult to know who the homeless person is, or what their story is, but God knows them and we can always pray for them. Maybe with them.

But I agree with the other comments here that personal safety is very important!

What kind of Pop Tarts we talkin' 'bout here? Oh,. yeah, pop-tops as in cans. My bad per usual.

Yes. I was uncomfortable to say the least, and fortunately there were two other women walking only a couple of metres behind me. Yes, I would not risk trusting him. It prompted me to ask this as normally I would just give them money, or a cigarette if they asked (I am guilty of being a smoker), but on this occasion I wanted to get away from him.

In fairness a lot of homeless people need money to get a shelter for the night, and to buy food.

Yes, it is also true that many 'homeless' people (beggars, sorry if that's not PC) do have homes, however wander the streets to beg for money.

Am I enabling them by giving them money, or am I getting them food and shelter?