Very General; What it Takes to Have a Good Marriage

It is obviously super important to have God in the marriage. That aside, I believe that it is very important for both husband and wife to give of themselves and to serve the other person. I also think that it is important for the husband and wife to communicate. But, above all, I believe that they key to a great marriage is to follow the roles that God has placed us in. The husband to lead the family, both physically and spiritually, and to love the wife sacrificially (Ephesians 5:25-28). The wife, to submit to her husband and obey him (Ephesians 5:22-24)(1 Peter 3:1-6).
This, I believe, is the key to having a successful marriage.

ankagirl's inbox is filling up with marriage proposals.

no-doubt...

So blessed reading this!
In fact, I am writing that down so that when all this mess starts feeling overwhelming I will be reminded of what a blessing it is.

I have to disagree with this statement.
I have known a good handful of people married 50+ precious years.
"Niceness" is NOT what got them through the difficult times.
What nearly everyone shared about how they made it all those years was
COMMITMENT because they knew and understood that they had formed a COVENANT the day they said "I DO".

It always touches me when you share this story.

Good point, and I guess we have to keep defining what we mean by "Good Marriage."

To me a "Good Marriage" is one that you enjoy. Just enduring each other and not divorcing for 50 years was not my point.

Many have a testimony of how they put up with lots of grief and did not divorce but I have noticed that those who are always nice to each other don't have as much grief and hard times to put up with.

There are long marriages and then there are long GOOD marriages. What makes one GOOD and another a trial of endurance? Being nice to each other and encouraging and positive. Humor helps also. No venting, criticism, caustic berating, or venom spewing toxic immature tantrums. Those things must never surface. No excuses. When we give ourselves excuses for them we will never change.

Staying together for a long time in and of itself can just be living in hell for a long time and a very sad life. Those that are always nice to each other make daily life a joy and that is a good marriage.

If you notice a potential suitor having emotional outbursts more than once after talking about it, then end the relationship and do not marry them. If you do you will be in for a living hell and you are not allowed to divorce over it. You will have made your bed and must lie in it. It will be very sad. Take toxic venting seriously. No excuses. Most people will allow for excuses and think it will change and get married and live in 20 years or more of hell and the toxic person will probably leave them after the kids are grown. This is very common. A wasted life of enduring misery because divorce is not allowed and they did not listen to the advice to run when they noticed the toxic behavior while dating.

When you find one who is nice under pressure. When they don't get their way or something very stressful occurs and they stay calm, positive, encouraging and seek solutions for every problem, that is a winner and a guaranteed happy marriage partner. Snatch them up as there are fewer and fewer in each generation of young people who are increasingly being trained to be obnoxious. The squeaky wheel gets the grease has become the character to aspire too and it is a tragic shame.

Now, back to my jaded and eternal singlehood. Leave me alone. Blissfully and peacefully alone.

So what we have here is a theoretician.

"Read it again...and again."

https://christianchat.com/threads/this-side-of-the-glass.182929/post-4698779

It was always "the best policy". At the same time I would say that genuine Christian love is the key. As commonly understood "Love conquers all".

I agree. Love conquers all. my husband bought me a pendant that said that and after he passed away 7 years ago, I had that saying tattooed on my forearm w a dove of peace. He was a very peace loving man.

Where I come from, it's money I guess. You all have to forgive me if you think I'm cynical. But that's how people marry these days. I'm saying this out of the experience I've had living life in this world.

It's either money or convenience.

I mean, gone are the days when women married men even if they were not professionally stable, just for being a good human being. I may be wrong again. There will always be exceptions.

This aside,

It takes an understanding life partner with good values. There should be a match of the values each partner has. A lot of patience, sacrifice, tears, etc I don't know. Love???

I've never been married or had anyone love me. So, this isn't my area of expertise.

So, if my answer is crude, it's because that's what I learned living my life so far.

Of course, I have faith in God. I think a good marriage will require God's love, providence and protection. But, I'm just saying all this as I've seen it so far in life.

A husband or wife should be able to trust that his or her partner will be honest. A spouse must be honest about who they are, what they're feeling and thinking, and about their successes and failures. There should be no hiding from one another. They should be able to trust each other to tell the truth. They need to take the commitment of marriage seriously

I think a good marriage requires mutual trust, sincerity, commitment, tolerance, understanding, respect, and common progress. These are all necessary for a good marriage. Even if there are illnesses and disputes, love will transcend everything, and the Lord will guide us.

I will be frank today, get it? lol. O.k., never mind. I will say this straight.....

If you want a good marriage, be rich, and do what your wife tells you to do. This is your best chance of a good marriage, not necessarily your best chance of being happy though.

I don't plan on ever getting married, so take this for it's worth. This is a public service message by kinda.

All rights reserved. Results may vary. This is for entertainment purposes only. kinda is not a trained professional and doesn't want to ever be married. User discretion is advised. Not suitable for all audiences. Use this information at your own risk....etc...etc...

I highly recommend the book Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. I know it's seems like a cliche and it is dated, but it really helps you understand how differently God made our minds. I think a lot of marriage problems come from just not understanding how your spouse sees the world.

I'm having a hard time believing that men have ever been to Mars, or women to Venus. I need to see NASA photos, before I make my final decision though.

that one puzzles me......
I thought males ended up on Jupiter and females on Mars.
because according to the chant my kids and their friends always sing( and come to think of it, I remember hearing this when I was a kid too) it's:
Boys go to Jupiter
to get more stupieder.
Girls go to Mars
to get more candy vars.

You know why men go to Venus...