A desperate plea

So this is my desperate plea to God. In the To begin I want to start from the beginning, my testimony in him seems to begin with sight, I had a dream early in my faith where everything was dark I have wanted to see through his eyes not my own from the beginning of my faith, even now I want to see with his eyes not my own and in this dream I knew he wanted me to see and I said in that dream I want to see. I would always say to him and always say to people I don't need these eyes to see I always believed it wasn't these physical eyes I needed to be able to see with his and I believe I prophesied my own demise when I spoke with a pastor pointing to my eyes saying even if I go blind I will still be able to see and he said thats right because he can heal you.
Several years later my eyes became infected and damaged to the point I was almost completely blind the sun hurth them I couldn't even be on Christian chat and doctors have gone through all kinds of surgeries eye drops all kinds of methods to save and heal my eyes.

They are at the point where I can see but not well i can't read much on here without it straining and hurting my eyes the white background hurts them and reading things on this white background makes it worse. I have always believed in miracles never seeing or receiving them I have always believed he heals never recieving healing myself but today I just broke alone in my room in tears begging him telling him i have nothing more to give him already having asked for healing before I again asked asking him what must I do what must I say or give to be healed? I told him I don't want to try anymore to give some great amount of faith to be healed I just want things to be easy with him like it always is when I am with him I just want to be enough and for what little I do have to give him to be enough.

I want to be the testimony that he is real to everyone around me that he is still the God who heals the blind and the sick, I want the reason I went blind to be so that he could show he is real and that he heals I want to be the proof to my friends and loved ones who he is and what he can do even for someone like me. So if I can be healed if I am even allowed to be healed I need everyone to pray for it to pray so I can be the testimony of the God who lives but if even all this is not enough then I pray he takes away all hope from me that I can be healed because it is simply to much to pray and hope when I simply cannot receive I beg for it because it is simply to painful and heavy.

But if he does heal me I will gladly boast of what he has done and give him all the glory I can muster all the praise all the honor that my soul can express

I will continue to pray for your sight to be fully restored my friend.

You are right to believe in miracles. I experienced something that was physically impossible right before I received the gift of tongues.
Father, I ask that You would restore Blain's eyesight to normal, in fact, I command Blain's eyesight to be restored now, in Yeshua's name!

A prophet must be careful with what they say, for if God be willing it may come to pass.

You offered your physical eyes for the ability to see thru His. So I will pray my friend that you may see thru His eyes. Because you probably won't receive healing until you fulfill the second half of the prophesy.

If you want your eyes, you may not get them back.

But if you want to see, I pray God gives you sight.

Bless you my brother. The day you have been anointed for is drawing near.

Father, I ask that Your will for Blain would be fulfilled. That Your word spoken to him would come to pass...and that You would comfort him now with Your presence. I ask in Your son Yeshua's name, amen.

Well whether or not I am healed how can I give up on seeing through his eyes? If in fact losing my sight was the result in which I see with his eyes then I pray he will give me sight as well just not physical sight. However should he heal my eyes to make me a testimony to others oh the amount of glory and honor I would give him not just because I was healed but because he used me to such an extent to prove his might

Isaiah 53:5