How to not hate your enemies

More precisely: how to LOVE your enemies. Among Jesus' commandments, this is probably the most difficult for me. I fully understand the biblical, spiritual, and intellectual reasoning behind this: since Christ died for all sinners, we have no right to hate other sinners (enemies included). Christ loved us enough to die for us, we should love those who persecute us. Scripture is clear on this and I don't disagree at all.

Actually practicing this commandment is another matter.

One way to possibly do this is to shut out toxic people - including enemies - from our lives. But then I think to when Christ regularly associated with His enemies as well as sinners such as tax collectors. He ran to them, not from them. So while avoiding our enemies or putting them at a distance may lessen the animosity we feel towards them, I'm not certain that's the same thing as loving them. Seems like a partial solution at best.

Thoughts on how to practice this commandment better?

First, I want to say I think this is a really interesting topic. Thank you for posting it.

For me, I find that I sympathize with your situation; I do have real (and sometimes perceived) enemies. I am capable of loving them within the scope of wishing them wellness, good health, safety, and peace. If it came down to it, I would give my enemies food, clothing, and find them shelter. I don't think loving our enemies needs to including remembering their birthdays, giving them presents, compliments, checking in on them, cooking them a meal, sharing important information that could help them, or any other luxuries and special treatments.

Once the love our enemies should receive is reduced down to the minimum requirements, for me it becomes more palpable. I honestly think this is the kind of love Jesus meant us to have for them.

It is true that Jesus went to the sick, and the sinners of the world.

However, He is God!

Are we not instructed "to come out from them?" In the 17th Chapter of John, Jesus prayed:

15) I pray not that thou shouldest take them out of the world, but that thou shouldest keep them from the evil.
16) They are not of the world, even as I am not of the world.

I know that to Evangelize, we must interact with "the world," however, as a daily diet of evil would be toxic to our spiritual well being, I hope we will be very careful as to how we interact with the evil of the world.

2 Corinthians, Chapter 6:

14) Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
15) And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?
16) And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.
17) Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you,
18) And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.

For a second I thought the title read how to hate your enemies. Lol

Hello @KrisWampler, you're right, regularly obeying that command is impossible, even for Christians, unless we allow ourselves to be instructed and led by the Holy Spirit to the point that, hopefully, we are finally able to see those who we consider to be our enemies through His loving, patient and kind eyes instead of our own (so that we see our enemies like He sees our enemies).

Of course, there is no one better than God to learn from about this, since He had (and still has) so many enemies, but rather than hating all of us and wishing harm to come to us, He chose to love us and help us instead (which is seen in SO many different ways, of course, by principally by His choice to die on the Cross in our stead to save us).


Practically speaking, I believe that knowing/remembering and then obeying everything that God has to say about this topic is very important (see, for instance, the verses/passages below in my signature line).

I also believe that prayer is vital, prayer for our enemies' good, prayer for our relationship with them, prayer for ourselves, that we will be able to see them as God sees them/through His loving eyes, and for His help in truly loving them as He wants us to, even, or perhaps especially, when they are hardly doing the same in return.

God bless you!

~Deut

That's a good way of putting it. I had not thought of that. Love can include the necessities; it doesn't have to include the luxuries.

Very true, and daily time in The Word makes a difference as well.

Remember, although Yeshua Jesus loves all, even those who oppose Him, He also told off many of them. He, though,could see through them also.

To shut out toxic people would not be following Christ, for we are told to do good for them.

One person wrote that she treated her enemy as if she loved her. finding ways to do little kindnesses for her, even though she felt no love for her. She said this turned a hate relationship to love.

Perhaps there are often ways we can tell the Lord our flesh is opposed to obedience, but if Christ tells us to do it we will (gritting our teeth) go ahead and do it. It is like the parable about the farmer's son who said he would not work the field but did it anyway. Matthew 21:28-32

This is a GREAT topic in these troubled, divided times. It's something I wrestle with as well.

I think that's a wise place to start. If you go overboard with things, the person may just start taking advantage of you to the point of ruin, and I don't think that was the intention of the command to love our enemies.

But I can see how starting with the simple necessities could improve the relationship to the point where the parties involved might actually come to like or at least respect each other, opening the door for those "extras" that you mentioned.

I have found that a lot of the Biblical commands are about changing our own heart and perspective as much as having a positive impact on others. Kind of scary how that works.

My view
This is a Great Question and is hard to put into action at times ------Without Christ in us it is impossible to be consistent in this task ------it takes much practice in our learning to have self Control over our emotions and calling on Grace to help us in our weak moments when we feel like we are loosing the battle -----Knowing and learning how Satan works on the mind is also important as Satan is a master at causing conflict and arguments between people by putting thoughts in our mind -----and learning we will pay the price for loosing control of our emotions is needed ---you have to practice every chance you get------- I started with the small things that my mate would do that would really get to me and I finally mastered that -----also I found that these type of sights can help one practice as well as people can get really rude and hurl insults at the person and it takes control not to retaliate in the same way --


2 Timothy 1:7 ESV
For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.

I have medidtated on the teaching, "Vengeance is Mine saith the Lord."

For myself I have determined that no creature is capable of rendering revenge to anyone.

Only He Who made all that is is capable of meting out perfect vengeance.

Also, I believe by faith the such an act is beneath the desire of our Maker Who is Love.

More pondering and meditation tells me that eternal separation alone is beyond any mere revenge, and I realize that the separation of any one is by choice, choice of those to be separated, and I realize just how incapable we are in such an area of understanding.

Yes, our Father loves all, but, somehow, I do not know how, many choose to go into the outer darkness rather than to go into the light.

Now I know I love even my enemies and do not judge anyone. True we should not force our presence upon anyone who despises us, but we must love all and pray for the salvation of all. God bless you and keep you near always.l

I personally believe that love can only come from Him.. Christ. Its one thing to "shut out" those of the world but we need to ask the Christ to show us the heart because most the time what we see is not who they really are.

We are to follow Christ, we are to listen to Christ within us. The answer is what we are to do about anything that Christ asks of us, we are not to ask why, we do not need to control our worldly self to obey, we are to obey. Grit your teeth and say yes, Lord I have faith in your instructions.

God does't ask us to be a doormat for our enemies, but to do good for them and go the extra mile for them if they ask.

in the Gospels, when it was neccesary- Jesus DID put distance between himself, and those who opposed him. I've said this many times before, but as a military guy, the concept of "fleeing from sexual immorality" was very difficult to grasp, but yet there it is in the scriptures. Oftentimes confrontation IS the answer, but there are times when it's not- and when it's not, you walk away. Or sometimes "get behind me, Satan" is the right answer- and you have to tell someone pressing into your life to get lost.

So, when you're doing this, it's not cowardice- like the enemy will accuse you of- it is following orders: it is the strategy of your commander that is to be trusted and obeyed. You cannot steamroll every enemy in your path with compassion and niceties. Some enemies are for someone else to handle- or for the Lord to handle himself by the Spirit.