Are the Children of Second (or Third, or Eighteenth) Marriages Seen as Illegitimate in the Kingdom of God?

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seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
14,943
4,587
113
#1
Hello Everyone,

I know the questions I've been asking might be seen as better suited for the Family Forum, but Singles is what I know and so I tend to post all of my inquiries here.

We've been talking a lot about family in the other threads, as well as talking about the potential of a dating site that would "determine whether or not divorced were eligible for remarriage," and this reminded me of a topic I brought up long ago.

So yes, this is actually a recycled question that I have already asked, but it was years ago. I wanted to see what the current crowd has to say.

Many of the Christian circles I grew up around have had very strict rules for remarriage after divorce, and very few people qualified according to those standards. I'd say this also seems to be the majority belief in most Christian communities I have been exposed to.

But on the flip side, most of the churches I've been part of in my adult years have had many members who were divorced, remarried, and had second families.

I hear many Christians talk about how others get divorced too easily and remarry when they shouldn't be remarrying (because the second or additional marriage is seen as adultery.)

I would like to know your thoughts about the following questions.

* In my original thread, I asked what should happen when people who don't qualify for remarriage go ahead and remarry anyway -- does this mean that the second marriage should be broken up and also end in divorce? What then happens to the people involved?

* Are the children produced in anything other than a first marriage seen as being illegitimate in the kingdom of God?

* If it is ruled that the Godly thing to do is to break up the remarriage, what then happens to any children born during this time?

Please know that I am NOT trying to condemn, criticize, or belittle anyone in this thread, no matter what their situation is. I myself am divorced (husband left for his girlfriend) and have not remarried. I don't know what God's plans for me are, or if I will ever marry again.

And I certainly have nothing against anyone who is divorced, has remarried, or is the product or part of any remarriage. My whole life, I have gravitated towards friendships with people whom others have shunned for this reason or the other. In most cases (unless it's very blatant,) I figure that their situation is between them and God and I am not to make myself the judge, especially since I've been through at least part of it myself.

* My point is simply this: Many people in the church will rule that most who are divorced can never remarry. So what I am asking is, What is the Godly thing that is to be done in when people who are not seen as eligible for remarriage or new families go ahead and do this anyway?

* For example, if you see a remarriage in your own family that you don't think is Biblically allowed, would you advise your family members to divorce? What if the people you saw as being ineligible for remarriage were your own parents?

I know this thread is going to be seen as highly controversial, but I'm always someone who tries to get people talking about things I don't hear anyone talking about. The last time I asked this, the majority said that the marriages should not be broken up, and that the children should be seen as full-fledged members of the Body of Christ.

I am just curious as to what our current crowd believes, and hope that it can be discussed in a respectful manner that will both educate and edify one another.
 

JimJimmers

Senior Member
Apr 26, 2012
2,584
70
48
#2
"* Are the children produced in anything other than a first marriage seen as being illegitimate in the kingdom of God?"

I think there will not be any illegitimate children in the Kingdom of God, no matter the earthly circumstances. God will be a Father to the fatherless. We were all born into awful circumstances on Earth (original sin and all) but all things will be made new.

"I know this thread is going to be seen as highly controversial, but I'm always someone who tries to get people talking about things I don't hear anyone talking about. The last time I asked this, the majority said that the marriages should not be broken up, and that the children should be seen as full-fledged members of the Body of Christ. "

You get people talking about things that no one is talking about huh? So if no one is talking about how to hurt children you think it's your job to get the conversation going huh? HYPOCRITE! BLASPHEMER! HERETIC!

I figured if I got the craziness out of the way early, maybe the rest of the thread would stay respectful :p

Okay so i have been wondering about Jesus' words for a few months now, this thread is timely. I am wondering if Jesus was cautioning people against breaking up marriages. In the old testament, if you meet a new girl you have to write your wife a bill of divorcement. I think this proved your children were not the product of prostitution or fornication? But Jesus said that was for the hardness of their hearts that is was allowed. But to me "divorce your wife and marry another" has been ringing in my ears as possibly more like what the Old Testament people were doing. Not like "I got divorced ten years ago due to domestic abuse and now I have met someone who treats me like Jesus wants and I am ready to try again."

Now let me be clear that I don't know that this is right. I am not establishing a new doctrine here. But I do think divorcing someone with another person in mind to replace them seems like legalized adultery, whereas other circumstances make it a lot more reasonable. Even that movie Castaway showed a difficult situation that could arise legitimately.
 

Pipp

Majestic Llamacorn
Sep 17, 2013
5,536
2,702
113
Georgia
#3
No such thing as illigetimet in the Kingdom of God.

I dont judge people who get remarried...whether right or wrong they give account to God and not me. I have enough issues to go around policing another persons walk with God. ♡
 

Gideon300

Well-known member
Mar 18, 2021
4,943
2,869
113
#4
Hello Everyone,

I know the questions I've been asking might be seen as better suited for the Family Forum, but Singles is what I know and so I tend to post all of my inquiries here.

We've been talking a lot about family in the other threads, as well as talking about the potential of a dating site that would "determine whether or not divorced were eligible for remarriage," and this reminded me of a topic I brought up long ago.

So yes, this is actually a recycled question that I have already asked, but it was years ago. I wanted to see what the current crowd has to say.

Many of the Christian circles I grew up around have had very strict rules for remarriage after divorce, and very few people qualified according to those standards. I'd say this also seems to be the majority belief in most Christian communities I have been exposed to.

But on the flip side, most of the churches I've been part of in my adult years have had many members who were divorced, remarried, and had second families.

I hear many Christians talk about how others get divorced too easily and remarry when they shouldn't be remarrying (because the second or additional marriage is seen as adultery.)

I would like to know your thoughts about the following questions.

* In my original thread, I asked what should happen when people who don't qualify for remarriage go ahead and remarry anyway -- does this mean that the second marriage should be broken up and also end in divorce? What then happens to the people involved?

* Are the children produced in anything other than a first marriage seen as being illegitimate in the kingdom of God?

* If it is ruled that the Godly thing to do is to break up the remarriage, what then happens to any children born during this time?

Please know that I am NOT trying to condemn, criticize, or belittle anyone in this thread, no matter what their situation is. I myself am divorced (husband left for his girlfriend) and have not remarried. I don't know what God's plans for me are, or if I will ever marry again.

And I certainly have nothing against anyone who is divorced, has remarried, or is the product or part of any remarriage. My whole life, I have gravitated towards friendships with people whom others have shunned for this reason or the other. In most cases (unless it's very blatant,) I figure that their situation is between them and God and I am not to make myself the judge, especially since I've been through at least part of it myself.

* My point is simply this: Many people in the church will rule that most who are divorced can never remarry. So what I am asking is, What is the Godly thing that is to be done in when people who are not seen as eligible for remarriage or new families go ahead and do this anyway?

* For example, if you see a remarriage in your own family that you don't think is Biblically allowed, would you advise your family members to divorce? What if the people you saw as being ineligible for remarriage were your own parents?

I know this thread is going to be seen as highly controversial, but I'm always someone who tries to get people talking about things I don't hear anyone talking about. The last time I asked this, the majority said that the marriages should not be broken up, and that the children should be seen as full-fledged members of the Body of Christ.

I am just curious as to what our current crowd believes, and hope that it can be discussed in a respectful manner that will both educate and edify one another.
Many Christians seem to think that divorce is the unforgivable sin. It is not. How many Christians never lust after someone else in their hearts? That's adultery in God's sight. So in that sense, divorce would be acceptable. Practically, of course, it is the act of adultery that is the marriage breaker.

God is not going to punish the innocent. The idea that a divorced Christian is a second class believer with no future is wrong. I've been through that mill. Strangely enough, the church that told me that no longer exists. The most spiritual man I ever knew had been divorced twice. He remarried after his last divorce.

God did not enforce His law on King David. By rights, he should have been killed for the crimes of adultery and murder. God forgave him. And it was the child of Bathsheba who inherited the throne. Surely that is an example of God's grace and mercy. It grieves me to think of how God's people are treated by the ignorant and self righteous who should no better.

Divorce is its own punishment. Christians need to have compassion, not heap condemnation on those who have failed. And God works all things for the good of those who love Him. Divorce is part of "all".

Children are not automatically members of the Body of Christ. They need to accept for themselves.

I divorced over 25 years ago. I've not remarried - by choice. I have no Biblical objection. I would recommend those contemplating remarriage to seek the Lord as to why the marriage failed. Too many go into the next relationship with the same issues that cause the previous one to fail.

You've probably worked out that I see zero reason for breaking up second marriage. This is even more so if children are involved. It's hard enough for them as it is.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,177
113
#5
18 marriages? crikey
um I dont really know what the 'church rules' are on this. I would think they might differ among churches. And of course not everyone marries in a church..you can get a civil marriage or union.


Ok to relate back to a real life situation this reminds me of was Princess Margaret there being a big hooha when she was about to marry her divorcee boyfriend, Captain Townsend, but the Queen had to approve. She was told to wait a few years but then decided not to go ahead after all.

Also she was told she would lose her royal priveliges if she did.

Later on she did marry and have children but then got divorced herself. And then stayed unmarried (but with lovers)

I dont know if her children lost any royal priveliges after she divorced though.

but then none of the royal family have a great track record with their marriages. I supoose they need 'legit' children to inherit titles and what not..but also, a lot of money and land is at stake. Ive not heard of the royal family ever adopting children.

But thats royals. Regarding spiritual inheritance all of us who are not Jewish are pretty much adoptees.
 
Jan 5, 2022
1,224
620
113
36
"A higher plane," hehe
www.youtube.com
#6
Can't be. David's royal line passed through Solomon. I forget which # wife Bathsheba was. Number... six maybe?

Bloodlines are REALLY important to the Old World royals. As are appearances (illusion) of unimpeachable virtue. In reality many of them are quite wicked and some are overt Luciferians, but monarchs must appear to be just and righteous to the subject masses.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
24,933
8,176
113
#7
*Lynx sits on his haunches and scratches behind an ear with a hind claw while looking quizzical.

I'm confused about something here. Why does it matter? If they are seen as illegitimate... What will the church do?

You could be shacking up with somebody for years and still come to church. You won't be allowed to teach a sunday school class or sing onstage (that would be both tacit endorsement of your lifestyle and letting you lead other people the wrong way) but you can come to church all you want, even if you never put a penny in the offering plate.

Even if a church did kick someone out for it, what of that? Move on. There will be other churches, ones that function the way God wants them to. "It is not the people in good health, but the ones who are sick that need a hospital." If the church kicks you out for this matter, it's like a hospital kicking you out for being sick. Be glad you didn't waste more time on that pointless church.
 

JohnDB

Well-known member
Jan 16, 2021
5,628
2,212
113
#8
Out of the abundance of a person's heart flows either loving kindness or wicked condemnation.

A child is a child... underdeveloped human taught what love is or condemnation from just simple existence.

You can teach a child to be a brute beast responding to base desires or a kind, loving person.

The parentage is not relevant.
 
C

ChristianTonyB

Guest
#9
The children are never illegitimate….but the parents may well be.

Scripture is pretty explicit about Christian marriages and the rules regarding those breaking up.

If we commit adultery then the penalties to us will be severe and long lasting, unless we repent of it. It would be presumptuous and foolish to believe that the same mercy God gave to David will be given to us too.

There can be so many complexities associated with broken relationships. A pastor would have to come to terms with the conditions effecting a divorced person‘s situation before they can adjudge whether God would be approving of a remarriage or not. They need to exercise due diligence before supporting a remarriage, otherwise they might inadvertently encourage a couple into an adulterous relationship, a disaster for the couple, and a disaster for the pastor as well.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,177
113
#10
well their first child DIED
(Bathsheba and Davids)

Didnt Jesus say he would kill the children of an adultery with death, unless the parents repented. In Revelation.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,177
113
#11
David pleaded with God for mercy but the child still died. The firstborn is always the sacrificial one.

Then they had Solomon because David had repented.