I haven't had friends in a long time.

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Kait24

Junior Member
Jul 27, 2017
43
37
18
#1
Do any of you struggle with being alone? Not having friends.I haven't had say friends I see every day or other day for years.People have came into my life but they don't stay friends.I honestly do need people to talk to!!!
 
Jul 12, 2021
81
47
18
#2
same here. not only need people to talk to but hang out, and get a hug. we need other humans that is why people go crazy in solidarity confinement. rn what has helped someone is social media, i started a new acct and have made some good pen pals. i am starting to do volunteer work so i starting to see the same people, so i get to talk to them but really havent build any real friendships
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
42,597
17,062
113
69
Tennessee
#3
I have found that the more friends one has, the least significant each one becomes. My wife is my best friend. I understand the need for people to talk to. Loneliness is a hard thing to deal with for sure.
 

Marina

New member
Mar 13, 2022
15
23
3
#4
Do any of you struggle with being alone? Not having friends.I haven't had say friends I see every day or other day for years.People have came into my life but they don't stay friends.I honestly do need people to talk to!!!
Ok, so first I am sorry to read this. We are all alone on this Earth, alone coming and alone leaving it....but in between...your Creator gave you some talents. Maybe you Like cooking, playing some instrument, helping People, helping animals, gardening, walking.....whatever. Use that to connect. Maybe there is place near you somewhere to volunteer, ask your pastor or priest for ideas maybe. Offer your help to Neighbors. Maybe you can start with small steps that would lead you to similar People...
 

Marina

New member
Mar 13, 2022
15
23
3
#5
Try with helping/giving time, favours, kind words and see what happens.....
 
Dec 15, 2021
1,494
218
63
#6
Do any of you struggle with being alone? Not having friends.I haven't had say friends I see every day or other day for years.People have came into my life but they don't stay friends.I honestly do need people to talk to!!!
Why do you think that is?
 

Thewatchman

Active member
Jun 19, 2021
622
116
43
#7
I understand very well. I don't drive anymore and we live 7-9 hours from the kids. I have tried to find a church I can fit into but I just don't believe a lot of things they do so you come away empty handed. I am lucky I have a loving wife of 46 years and 2 people other than her that I am close to.
 
T

tstumf

Guest
#8
Many acquaintances but few true friends. Part of the reason I left Facebook. Too many people living in the shallows of life and not getting involved or speaking wisdom into their friends lives IRL. It’s been years since I’ve received an actual phone call to hang out or just a call to chat and catch up it has been just a casual short txt or maybe messenger chat but nothing deep and meaningful. Always shallow . Everyone only wants something from me if they do call such as getting them out of a jam or a technical question related to my profession. When I extend a line of sincere friendship to people and offer the pleasure of my company the common excuse is “too busy” “always working” but yet I could see their recent social media pictures painted a different picture. It’s not that they were too busy… just too busy to be around me. So I had enough. Facebook has been deleted for 2 months. Not one single phone call from any on that list even to see if I’m still alive, not even certain close family members have bothered to check in. I’m 33. my Sunday church service for an hour and Tuesday night men’s Bible study is about as real as it’s been lately as far as true friends goes and that’s a big stretch some weeks. Wife has her social circles , my 6 year old is developing his. Got to talk a bit to the other soccer dads one who actually happens to be a youth pastor at my church which was neat to see the overlap… but ya I’m right there with ya.
 

Thewatchman

Active member
Jun 19, 2021
622
116
43
#9
You have a friend that sticks closer than a brother and He will never leave you or forsake you
 

shittim

Senior Member
Dec 16, 2016
13,812
7,788
113
#10
You have a friend that sticks closer than a brother and He will never leave you or forsake you
And that is why I am never lonely though I have been single for over 4 decades.
He guides, speaks and shows us things to come if we will draw near to Him.
blessings
 

MsMediator

Well-known member
Mar 8, 2022
1,097
739
113
#11
Early in my life I had friends whom I thought would be friends for life, but they have come and gone for various reasons (distance, their own obligations, an argument, religion/politics, etc.). I do have a few good friends remaining but if we part for whatever reason I will no longer be surprised.
 

shittim

Senior Member
Dec 16, 2016
13,812
7,788
113
#12
I like the adage I heard from the best teacher of scripture I know, "people are like elevators, they will take you up or they will take you down, but you will never stay where you are".
If we are walking with Him, truly, He will move us from friendship to friendship as we grow in Him, and if the "friend" we had will not grow, He must do this our of His love for us.
best wishes
 
T

TheIndianGirl

Guest
#13
Facebook has been deleted for 2 months. Not one single phone call from any on that list even to see if I’m still alive, not even certain close family members have bothered to check in.
Same. One kind of checked on me, but she didn't mention my profile.

People do notice when you delete your account. A few ppl later said they wondered why my profile was gone, and were disappointed I left Facebook for good.
 

blueluna5

Well-known member
Jul 30, 2018
658
393
63
#14
Many acquaintances but few true friends. Part of the reason I left Facebook. Too many people living in the shallows of life and not getting involved or speaking wisdom into their friends lives IRL. It’s been years since I’ve received an actual phone call to hang out or just a call to chat and catch up it has been just a casual short txt or maybe messenger chat but nothing deep and meaningful. Always shallow . Everyone only wants something from me if they do call such as getting them out of a jam or a technical question related to my profession. When I extend a line of sincere friendship to people and offer the pleasure of my company the common excuse is “too busy” “always working” but yet I could see their recent social media pictures painted a different picture. It’s not that they were too busy… just too busy to be around me. So I had enough. Facebook has been deleted for 2 months. Not one single phone call from any on that list even to see if I’m still alive, not even certain close family members have bothered to check in. I’m 33. my Sunday church service for an hour and Tuesday night men’s Bible study is about as real as it’s been lately as far as true friends goes and that’s a big stretch some weeks. Wife has her social circles , my 6 year old is developing his. Got to talk a bit to the other soccer dads one who actually happens to be a youth pastor at my church which was neat to see the overlap… but ya I’m right there with ya.
I notice the same thing. People only contact if they want something. They don't ask how I'm doing even.
 

blueluna5

Well-known member
Jul 30, 2018
658
393
63
#16
Do any of you struggle with being alone? Not having friends.I haven't had say friends I see every day or other day for years.People have came into my life but they don't stay friends.I honestly do need people to talk to!!!
I have the same issue. I've had friends but they never overlap in any season. Right now I don't really have any except maybe 1. Even that one is no guarantee.

It does bother me sometimes, but there's nothing I can really do about it either. I'm in a very busy season with young babies and trying to give 100% to my husband, house, God, career. There's just not a lot of room. I'm honestly exhausted.

My friends tend to change in each season as in I'll have them a few years or even a decade and then gone. It feels like it's over and God wants me to move on. I've spent years when I was younger fighting it, but it never works. I can tell when someone just doesn't want to hang out with me anymore... maybe they have a new friend. Whatever. I've had a broken friendship that hurt as bad as an actual breakup. So I just don't have that desire to go through that again like I normally would.

It is lonely though. I'm grateful for my family, but do miss having girlfriends to talk to. Hopefully you'll find what you're looking for soon!
 

Thewatchman

Active member
Jun 19, 2021
622
116
43
#17
And that is why I am never lonely though I have been single for over 4 decades.
He guides, speaks and shows us things to come if we will draw near to Him.
blessings
You are truly blessed to know that, You have a family called the family of God we may not know each other but we are all part of the famly of God.
 
L

Live4Him2

Guest
#18
Do any of you struggle with being alone? Not having friends.I haven't had say friends I see every day or other day for years.People have came into my life but they don't stay friends.I honestly do need people to talk to!!!
Been there.

Done that.

Bought the t-shirt that nobody sees or reads but me.

In all honesty BEFORE THE LORD, I would say that I've only had one real friend in my entire lifetime, and I am now 60 years old.

Our bond was truly like that of David and Jonathan in the Bible, but he literally hates my guts now, and we haven't spoken to each other for somewhere around 18 years (his choice, not mine). Ironically, he helped me tremendously as far as boldness for the Lord and his word is concerned, but, ultimately, his wife turned him against me, and he's as much to blame for that as she is.

Anyhow, I really don't struggle with being alone.

I mean, I definitely don't like it, especially since my own walk with the Lord has primarily taught me about true love in many different aspects, and it would be nice to share that with somebody in any type of relationship, but I've learned to accept it while still showing myself actively friendly towards others even when it's not reciprocated.

Jesus said, "It is more blessed to give than to receive" (Acts 20:35), and I've applied that principle to the area of love in my own life, and I've managed to cope thus far.

In my particular case, much of the reason why I don't have any real friends is directly related to my Christian faith.

Oh, I don't go around cramming the gospel down people's throats (except in the Bible Discussion Forum occasionally...lol), but I just believe that there truly is no fellowship between light and darkness, and I've had a really hard time finding others who are truly walking in the light.

My worst encounters, by far, have been in "churches".

That said, God's grace is sufficient.

Being rooted and grounded in the love of Christ has kept me going this far, and it will keep me until my dying breath...with or without any real friends.

Anyhow, I understand where you're coming from, and if you ever want an online friend, then I'm a good listener.

God bless you either way.
 
#20
I hear you on that i find its just so difficult to have a good conversation and fellowship anymore esp lately with the things of this world its sad cause even in church i find there not much fellowship or conversations anymore . I'm the type of person that kind of is heart on the sleeve type of person and I find since becoming a follower of Jesus I've lost most if not all of my friends even some that say they are Christian , i get things get busy tho there some friendships I find that things do come up and sometimes theres some distance but then they message you and you just pick up where you left off its difficult to find that it seems and also to find friendships that are more then like just surface hows the weather kind of thing I find im such a in depth talker like emotionally im passionate about bible topics and apologetics and how things work and whats the truth and even with like everyday life things like my family my kids my dogs , walking on trails i just try and look at the positive side of things even tho some days can be really difficult i know my worth is in Christ and to keep my eyes on him . im just that type of person that wants to meet friends that are just genuine and arn't spiteful that want to serve Jesus and just be them. i dunno thats how i look at a good friendship but if you ever want to chat im here im open to friendship to anyone! :) God bless you on this beautiful day