Girlfriend said that if not in a relationship she would have sex with a stranger for $10 million depending on the person. Red flag?

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kikoman98

New member
#21
Dec 15, 2021
3
3
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#21
An update:
I spoke with the GF at length yesterday in a very serious conversation about what she said. She said that she thinks having sex with a stranger for $10 million is wrong, and not what she SHOULD do, as the bible says this is wrong. She said she would feel guilty about it. She said the she is a brutally honest person, and she told me what she probably WOULD realistically do. She said that she certainly would not teach her kids that such an action is the right thing to do, emphasizing that what she would realistically do vs. what you would teach your children is different. She said she would teach her children values of sexual morality to which we were on the same page about. She agreed with me that we should both aim at being people who don’t accept that offer, and that it is not a scenario that she hopes or wants to happen.
She asked me what I would do in such a situation, and my gut reply was “I would decline as that money is not important to me”. But on second thought I think its unrealistic that I wouldn’t consider it. At the end of the day, I think I would turn it down as you’ve got to draw the line somewhere and it’s a serious stain on your soul and character. I’m no angel in terms of my sexual past, and neither is she, but to me there are just some lines I don’t think I can cross. She asked that I just love her for the flawed human being that she is.

What are your thoughts on this? What is the Christian thing to do in my situation?
 
JohnDB

JohnDB

Well-known member
#22
Jan 16, 2021
6,187
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#22
kikoman98 said:
An update:
I spoke with the GF at length yesterday in a very serious conversation about what she said. She said that she thinks having sex with a stranger for $10 million is wrong, and not what she SHOULD do, as the bible says this is wrong. She said she would feel guilty about it. She said the she is a brutally honest person, and she told me what she probably WOULD realistically do. She said that she certainly would not teach her kids that such an action is the right thing to do, emphasizing that what she would realistically do vs. what you would teach your children is different. She said she would teach her children values of sexual morality to which we were on the same page about. She agreed with me that we should both aim at being people who don’t accept that offer, and that it is not a scenario that she hopes or wants to happen.
She asked me what I would do in such a situation, and my gut reply was “I would decline as that money is not important to me”. But on second thought I think its unrealistic that I wouldn’t consider it. At the end of the day, I think I would turn it down as you’ve got to draw the line somewhere and it’s a serious stain on your soul and character. I’m no angel in terms of my sexual past, and neither is she, but to me there are just some lines I don’t think I can cross. She asked that I just love her for the flawed human being that she is.

What are your thoughts on this? What is the Christian thing to do in my situation?
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Well...
It's a conversation and an evaluation...

Everyone, including myself has issues with particular aspects of morality. It's part of the human experience. Areas where we usually fail...and to accomplish what goals is what is needed to be evaluated.
We all have areas where we fail when faced with particular circumstances.

And these things we usually don't really hide...we can't. They are a part of our identity. This can be such things as money/wealth, power, winning struggles, ensuring our appearances to others, or ensuring our perception by others.

Everyone is a bit different in what we value and care about. Those valuations are evident in everything we do...(generally speaking and not specifically) from the decorations that we put up around our living spaces to the stories we tell... even the way we talk about other things.
 
Demi777

Demi777

Senior Member
#23
Oct 13, 2014
6,889
1,958
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Germany
#23
kikoman98 said:
An update:
I spoke with the GF at length yesterday in a very serious conversation about what she said. She said that she thinks having sex with a stranger for $10 million is wrong, and not what she SHOULD do, as the bible says this is wrong. She said she would feel guilty about it. She said the she is a brutally honest person, and she told me what she probably WOULD realistically do. She said that she certainly would not teach her kids that such an action is the right thing to do, emphasizing that what she would realistically do vs. what you would teach your children is different. She said she would teach her children values of sexual morality to which we were on the same page about. She agreed with me that we should both aim at being people who don’t accept that offer, and that it is not a scenario that she hopes or wants to happen.
She asked me what I would do in such a situation, and my gut reply was “I would decline as that money is not important to me”. But on second thought I think its unrealistic that I wouldn’t consider it. At the end of the day, I think I would turn it down as you’ve got to draw the line somewhere and it’s a serious stain on your soul and character. I’m no angel in terms of my sexual past, and neither is she, but to me there are just some lines I don’t think I can cross. She asked that I just love her for the flawed human being that she is.

What are your thoughts on this? What is the Christian thing to do in my situation?
Click to expand...
Honestly i think youre getting too hung up on her joke. Alone the fact you were thinking about leaving her over it makes me question if you truly love her for who she is.
Maybe you should sit yourself back and see what you want. Do you love her or not. Doesnt sound like it
 
Pureness

Pureness

Banned
#25
Oct 10, 2021
348
165
43
#25
kikoman98 said:
An update:
I spoke with the GF at length yesterday in a very serious conversation about what she said. She said that she thinks having sex with a stranger for $10 million is wrong, and not what she SHOULD do, as the bible says this is wrong. She said she would feel guilty about it. She said the she is a brutally honest person, and she told me what she probably WOULD realistically do. She said that she certainly would not teach her kids that such an action is the right thing to do, emphasizing that what she would realistically do vs. what you would teach your children is different. She said she would teach her children values of sexual morality to which we were on the same page about. She agreed with me that we should both aim at being people who don’t accept that offer, and that it is not a scenario that she hopes or wants to happen.
She asked me what I would do in such a situation, and my gut reply was “I would decline as that money is not important to me”. But on second thought I think its unrealistic that I wouldn’t consider it. At the end of the day, I think I would turn it down as you’ve got to draw the line somewhere and it’s a serious stain on your soul and character. I’m no angel in terms of my sexual past, and neither is she, but to me there are just some lines I don’t think I can cross. She asked that I just love her for the flawed human being that she is.

What are your thoughts on this? What is the Christian thing to do in my situation?
Click to expand...
That goes to show you that people know right from wrong and still choose to do wrong. Its not is it the Christian thing to do, Its is it the moral thing to do? You don't have to be a Christian to do the right thing. Its the moral thing to do. God bless
 
shittim

shittim

Senior Member
#26
Dec 16, 2016
13,762
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#26
kikoman98 said:
I was having a conversation with my girlfriend about exhorbant sums of money people pay for sex after seeing an instagram post on the subject. She joked about having sex with a stranger for $1 million. I didn't find this funny, and I asked her seriously if she would do that. She replied that she would not. But she followed up with "if someone offered me $10 million, and I wasn't in a relationship, I'd consider it depending on the person. I am seriously disgusted by this, and I'm considering ending things over it. I'm concerned that we are seriously misaligned in terms of values. I view this as selling your soul.

All of my secular friends think I'm WAY overreacting to this hypothetical that will never happen. What do you'll think? Am I blowing this out of proportion? I do have a tenancy to do so. Am I right to feel very hurt by this statement?

Some background: We are both somewhat Christian, but have not attended church in a while. I grew up Catholic, but consider myself non denominaltional now. We have both expressed desire to find a church in our area and attend together. We are in our late twenties and have been dating for about a year. We love eachother, but this is seeming like a big red flag to me in terms of compatability.
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She didn't say she would, she said she would consider it. I am sure it was just a comment that should not be taken as a deal breaker, we all have and may in the future said things like this off hand and insincere comment.
 
ResidentAlien

ResidentAlien

Well-known member
#27
Apr 21, 2021
8,263
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#27
Don't walk, run. You're involved with an unapologetic hypocrite and potential prostitute. Sorry bro, just tryin' to help you see clearly.
 
shittim

shittim

Senior Member
#28
Dec 16, 2016
13,762
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#28
If you drop her over one off hand statement you will be sorry.
How long have you been together?
 
SomeDisciple

SomeDisciple

Well-known member
#29
Jul 4, 2021
2,246
1,041
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#29
kikoman98 said:
was having a conversation with my girlfriend about exhorbant sums of money people pay for sex after seeing an instagram post on the subject. She joked about having sex with a stranger for $1 million. I didn't find this funny, and I asked her seriously if she would do that. She replied that she would not. But she followed up with "if someone offered me $10 million, and I wasn't in a relationship, I'd consider it depending on the person. I am seriously disgusted by this, and I'm considering ending things over it. I'm concerned that we are seriously misaligned in terms of values. I view this as selling your soul.
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"depending on the person". Lol. I wonder what are the other requirements are besides the ten million dollars? How tall do you have to be to get on that ten million dollar ride? Are some of the extra-monetary requirements waived if they're willing to pay 20? Are their any at all at 40? Is that before or after taxes?
kikoman98 said:
All of my secular friends think I'm WAY overreacting to this hypothetical that will never happen. What do you'll think?
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First of all, I doubt your secular friends would hesitate to give it up for 10 mil. Second, secular friends will say what they need to say to make you feel better and not necessarily what you need to hear. Third, Jesus used hypotheticals to teach and reveal important things.
kikoman98 said:
Am I blowing this out of proportion? I do have a tenancy to do so. Am I right to feel very hurt by this statement?
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I'm glad she didn't say this in front of your family. I'm surprised that you even told your friends she said this.
kikoman98 said:
Some background: We are both somewhat Christian, but have not attended church in a while. I grew up Catholic, but consider myself non denominaltional now.
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If you want to be more than "somewhat Christian", I am begging you to prioritize THAT and put marriage on the back burner- both of you, really. The people that grow out of the "somewhat christian" stage are not the same people that went in. If you are fornicating with this woman, then it is already clouding your judgement and you are setting yourself up for failure and chastisement by the Lord.
kikoman98 said:
What are your thoughts on this?
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To me, it looks like you fell for a Jedi mind trick. She told you what you wanted to hear after the fact... and now you're convinced that you would consider prostituting yourself (for enough money, and depending on the person, of course!) when you were just disgusted by the idea a few days ago.
 
S

Shakey

Member
#30
Mar 16, 2022
61
19
8
#30
I am a year late and a dollar short...lol

Having been in a marriage that indulged in fantasy to excite our sex life, later that fantasy became reality which in turn led to the demise of a 19 year marriage.

Don't play with speculation and fantasy, you two need to get into church, get right with our creator and savior Jesus the Christ, the God of the Bible. Your love will come with the love of God, your love will be for one another with the focus on God. You cannot be lukewarm, you are either hot or cold.
 
B

blueluna5

Well-known member
#32
Jul 30, 2018
652
390
63
#32
kikoman98 said:
I was having a conversation with my girlfriend about exhorbant sums of money people pay for sex after seeing an instagram post on the subject. She joked about having sex with a stranger for $1 million. I didn't find this funny, and I asked her seriously if she would do that. She replied that she would not. But she followed up with "if someone offered me $10 million, and I wasn't in a relationship, I'd consider it depending on the person. I am seriously disgusted by this, and I'm considering ending things over it. I'm concerned that we are seriously misaligned in terms of values. I view this as selling your soul.

All of my secular friends think I'm WAY overreacting to this hypothetical that will never happen. What do you'll think? Am I blowing this out of proportion? I do have a tenancy to do so. Am I right to feel very hurt by this statement?

Some background: We are both somewhat Christian, but have not attended church in a while. I grew up Catholic, but consider myself non denominaltional now. We have both expressed desire to find a church in our area and attend together. We are in our late twenties and have been dating for about a year. We love eachother, but this is seeming like a big red flag to me in terms of compatability.
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Yes, that's extremely overreacting.

You're not God and don't understand what is going on in her head. She may have debt piling up or be losing her lease. (Real things you want to know before marriage.)

People generally will say things like that if something is going on. It doesn't really mean anything with the statement itself. So learn her views on money.
 
A

Amanuensis

Well-known member
#33
Jun 12, 2021
1,457
460
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#33
Don't marry anyone who is not willing to die resisting temptation because they Love Jesus with all their heart soul, mind, and strength.

Of course you have to be that same kind of Christian. By the way, this is the only kind of Christian anything else is not being saved.

I am assuming you are not having sex. If you are that is the moral failure that must be repented of and you must stay separate. If a young couple is failing in this area they are not marriage material and should stay single until they know that they would rather die resisting the temptation to fall into this sin than to grieve the heart of the Lord they claim to serve.

When both are living this kind of victorious holy life, then they can consider marriage.

It's that simple. No compromise. Give sin no quarter.

Yes it is a red flag, and she has told you twice that she would probably fall to the temptation so end the relationship. You will regret it and wander why you ignored the red flag.

She will do many things that you will think is unthinkable for a Christian. The temptations will come. The person that will yield to $10 Million temptation will yield to smaller ones if they don't think anyone will know. Love for Jesus is not sufficient to keep them holy that is what they are confessing.

They will yield to the small temptations to call you names and make your life miserable because they will tell themselves that they are not really sins.
 
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ChristianTonyB

Guest
#34
#34
kikoman98 said:
I was having a conversation with my girlfriend about exhorbant sums of money people pay for sex after seeing an instagram post on the subject. She joked about having sex with a stranger for $1 million. I didn't find this funny, and I asked her seriously if she would do that. She replied that she would not. But she followed up with "if someone offered me $10 million, and I wasn't in a relationship, I'd consider it depending on the person. I am seriously disgusted by this, and I'm considering ending things over it. I'm concerned that we are seriously misaligned in terms of values. I view this as selling your soul.

All of my secular friends think I'm WAY overreacting to this hypothetical that will never happen. What do you'll think? Am I blowing this out of proportion? I do have a tenancy to do so. Am I right to feel very hurt by this statement?

Some background: We are both somewhat Christian, but have not attended church in a while. I grew up Catholic, but consider myself non denominaltional now. We have both expressed desire to find a church in our area and attend together. We are in our late twenties and have been dating for about a year. We love eachother, but this is seeming like a big red flag to me in terms of compatability.
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A huge red flag. No Christian worth their calling would contemplate dishonouring the Lord as she has. Her reaction to the albeit theoretical temptation is exactly as Eve did. Move on, look elsewhere!
 
shittim

shittim

Senior Member
#35
Dec 16, 2016
13,762
7,759
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#35
Or you could do what we are all required to do and take it to the Lord and not a forum of strangers who may or may not be genuine Christians..:unsure:(y):):coffee:
 
C

ChristianTonyB

Guest
#36
#36
shittim said:
Or you could do what we are all required to do and take it to the Lord and not a forum of strangers who may or may not be genuine Christians..:unsure:(y):):coffee:
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He has, and He has answered!
 
shittim

shittim

Senior Member
#37
Dec 16, 2016
13,762
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#37
So you know what Holy Spirit has communicated one on one with the original poster?
I don't think you are equal with the Trinity as you claim .:unsure:
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#38
Aug 13, 2014
27,232
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#38
Lots of things you don't have to pray about. The Bible already states it real plain, and God won't tell you something that goes against his own word.
 
C

ChristianTonyB

Guest
#39
#39
shittim said:
So you know what Holy Spirit has communicated one on one with the original poster?
I don't think you are equal with the Trinity as you claim .:unsure:
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Oddly enough, you agree with Resident Alien who pretty much said what I said, before I said it, but you disagreed with my response. Why is that? Is it because I disagreed with your comments in other forums, so you are holding a personal vendetta against me? That's very sad!

The reason why I said God has answered the OP's question, is that it seems to me that Resident Alien has the giftedness of the prophetic insight, a seer, a spokesman of the Lord, as am I.
 
shittim

shittim

Senior Member
#40
Dec 16, 2016
13,762
7,759
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#40
You espouse disobedience when you deny the Biblical guidance to pray without ceasing, seeking Holy Spirit who guides us in ALL truth, according to Jesus?
He was clear most would have an outward form of godliness whereas those who are truly His Own would do greater works than He.
 
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