Is it Biblical to marry a divorced person?

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Feb 24, 2022
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In the old testament, a woman did not have to live with an adulterous husband because he would have been stoned. That would be her "get out of jail" card to marry another person.
And yet in practice, only the woman was caught and brought to Jesus to make an example, while the dude was nowhere to be found.
 
T

TheIndianGirl

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And yet in practice, only the woman was caught and brought to Jesus to make an example, while the dude was nowhere to be found.
There is more evidence against a woman especially if she shows signs of pregnancy. Until the 1980s when DNA tests available, it was very easy for men to deny relations with a woman or to deny the child. I imagine back then during Biblical times (especially before Jesus came) a woman's word was essentially worthless.

In the book Scarlett Letter, the woman was found to be adulterous because she was pregnant. I don't believe she was married. The crowd was against the main character in part because she was pretty, based on the book. So, indirectly, people get easily angry at the woman because they believe she deceived the man (based on her looks, as the man has no control).
 

presidente

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May 29, 2013
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Items like stolen property should always be returned to the rightful owner.
And if someone divorces his wife because he tires of her or because it is hard to get along, should he try to reconciled?
 

presidente

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May 29, 2013
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In the book Scarlett Letter, the woman was found to be adulterous because she was pregnant. I don't believe she was married.
Here husband, Chillingsworth as I recall, had been away for a long time. They did not know who the father was.
 

presidente

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May 29, 2013
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In any case Jesus never broke one part of the law nor taught anyone to break it. He wouldn't advocate divorce for something the law commanded death for. He wouldn't have brought it up as a Jew talking to Jews under law in a discussion about divorce.
This is an old debate, of course, the 'traditional view' versus the view that many Protestant's held to. There are those who would argue that the Greek rendered 'except it be for fornication' means setting aside the issue of fornication, not addressing it at the time.

The situation Jesus referred to when he wrote, 'except it be for fornication' was a man divorcing his wife, though, not a wife divorcing her husband. Wives divorcing their husbands was not a legal thing in the Old Testament. Polygamy was also practiced in the Old Testament, but polyandry was not allowed. IMO, polygyny is inconsistent with what Christ revealed in Matthew 19 also. But we should keep the polygamy situation in mind when considering that males and females did not have recriprocal roles and obligations in marriage in the Old Testament.

The teachings in Mark and Luke do not have the exception clause about adultery.

Mark 10
10 In the house His disciples also asked Him again about the same matter. 11 So He said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. 12 And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”

Luke 16:18
18 “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced from her husband commits adultery.

Here is the verse from Matthew 19 again
9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

The 'whoever's and 'whoso' in Mark and Matthew were enough to remove divorced candidates from my consideration set.

Nowadays, both men and women can work in most of our societies if they get a divorce. Celibacy is an economically viable option.
 
Mar 4, 2020
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And if someone divorces his wife because he tires of her or because it is hard to get along, should he try to reconciled?
I'm sure it's normally much more complex than that, but I think couples should exhaust every option and try to accept each other, live in peace, sleep in different beds, different rooms, spend more time apart if they can't get along. Depending on exactly what is happening divorce might be a better option, but certainly the last option, if at all.

I know someone who's marriage had devolved into complete dysfunction, complete with arguments over "literally everything." He felt suicidal and had a date, time, and location for when he would end himself because his marriage had basically destroyed him mentally and emotionally. Do you think he should have stayed married or got divorced?
 

Tararose

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And yet in practice, only the woman was caught and brought to Jesus to make an example, while the dude was nowhere to be found.
Yeah but Jesus didn't say it was okay to stone her because the law demanded BOTH the man and the woman who were caught IN THE ACT of adultery, to be brought for stoning. So Jesus didn't play into the hands of the phrases to say let her go - where's the guy? no guy no evidence.... nor did he say ... stone her if she's an adulterer, because both would have been used against him.

Like... oh you want her to go free just because the guy escaped or whatever... the law demands she be stoned.... or vice versa... so you would have us stone a woman without the man who sinned with her, that is not what the law demands. So he didn't waste his breathe on that issue and instead dealt with the issue of their own sin.
 

Tararose

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I'm sure it's normally much more complex than that, but I think couples should exhaust every option and try to accept each other, live in peace, sleep in different beds, different rooms, spend more time apart if they can't get along. Depending on exactly what is happening divorce might be a better option, but certainly the last option, if at all.

I know someone who's marriage had devolved into complete dysfunction, complete with arguments over "literally everything." He felt suicidal and had a date, time, and location for when he would end himself because his marriage had basically destroyed him mentally and emotionally. Do you think he should have stayed married or got divorced?
Definitely would have said separate in such a case... and counselling for both parties and see if a resolution can be found whilst apart. If not then I guess there is no option.
 

Tararose

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This is an old debate, of course, the 'traditional view' versus the view that many Protestant's held to. There are those who would argue that the Greek rendered 'except it be for fornication' means setting aside the issue of fornication, not addressing it at the time.

The situation Jesus referred to when he wrote, 'except it be for fornication' was a man divorcing his wife, though, not a wife divorcing her husband. Wives divorcing their husbands was not a legal thing in the Old Testament. Polygamy was also practiced in the Old Testament, but polyandry was not allowed. IMO, polygyny is inconsistent with what Christ revealed in Matthew 19 also. But we should keep the polygamy situation in mind when considering that males and females did not have recriprocal roles and obligations in marriage in the Old Testament.

The teachings in Mark and Luke do not have the exception clause about adultery.

Mark 10
10 In the house His disciples also asked Him again about the same matter. 11 So He said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. 12 And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”

Luke 16:18
18 “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced from her husband commits adultery.

Here is the verse from Matthew 19 again
9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

The 'whoever's and 'whoso' in Mark and Matthew were enough to remove divorced candidates from my consideration set.

Nowadays, both men and women can work in most of our societies if they get a divorce. Celibacy is an economically viable option.
But at that time Jesus was not referring to people whose spouses had been unfaithful clearly.
 
C

ChristianTonyB

Guest
Divorce is allowed under adultery, if the unbelieving spouse leaves, or the contract ends in death.

To remarry is allowed if the spouse dies, a divorce due to adultery, or if the spouse leaves (abandons the marriage).

You can not remarry if you are the adulterer or the other individual was is an adulterer. Or if you are not the one to leave your spouse.

But here is a debated verse that seems to also suggest if the man divorces the women, he makes her commit adultery.

but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

Not sure why, needs more research.
I agree with what you have said.

Regarding the last verse, it does seem to be a bit incongruous to me, especially the first part if it. It seems to imply that the wife is bound to her ex even if she has been wrongfully divorced. That doesn't make sense to me. I can understand the Lord warning the husband that if he wrongfully divorced his wife, that he will also bear the consequences of the pain and suffering that will fall upon the shoulders of the mistreated wife, he won't escape the punishment due him.???
 
Feb 24, 2022
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Definitely would have said separate in such a case... and counselling for both parties and see if a resolution can be found whilst apart. If not then I guess there is no option.
Just don't initiate it, find other pursuit in life to serve God. Paul did point out that married couples are often burdened by the cares of the world nonetheless.
 
Feb 24, 2022
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But here is a debated verse that seems to also suggest if the man divorces the women, he makes her commit adultery.

but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

Not sure why, needs more research.
That verse says if a man divorces for any reason - or excuse - other than fornication, he's tearing apart what God has joined together for his selfish desire. Therefore if she hooks up with another man like that samaritan woman at the well, then what he did makes her commit adultery. And since adultery takes two, obviously her new beau also commits adultery. That was a direct conviction of the common practice of Pharisees who initiated divorce at will and then quickly got remarried with a new trophy wife, so they could satisfy their lust without legally committing adultery.
 

Tararose

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" ...makes her commit adultery" more accurately means "makes her the victim of adultery"....

https://trinitybiblechapel.ca/what-does-makes-her-commit-adultery-mean-matt-532/

How can she commit adultery, when she didn't?
I guess its akin to rape. If a married woman is raped, she is technically an adulteress, though it is through no fault of her own. She has been forced and the sin will lay entirely upon the man who forced her.

It is assumed within this verse it seems, that as not many people have the gift of self control - as Paul says it is better to marry than to burn - it is perfectly normal to strongly desire to be in a marital relationship and to have sex, and that once cut off from a former spouse, a woman would feel/have a strong need to remarry, rather than to live as a fornicator etc. As the innocent party, she likely doesn't want to live in sin and so probably opts for a legal remarriage if she can find a suitable husband, as her only other reasonable option.

A divorced woman in those days especially was likely to remarry if she wished to continue to live what is even still considered in most of the world, to be a normal life. Have a roof over her head and a spouse in her bed and so on. She does not sin in her desire, and she has not put herself in the position of being alone and living an unmarried life. She did not desire to marry another man when she was married. It has been forced upon her. A man who marries her has not taken anything from any man, and if he is an adulterer for marrying, looking after etc. the rejected innocent wife of another man, the guilt also lays upon the door of the man who divorced her wrongly.
 

Magenta

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Jul 3, 2015
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And yet in practice, only the woman was caught and brought to Jesus to make an example, while the dude was nowhere to be found.
In that particular case (told only in John 8) they were trying to trap Jesus. Verse six specifies this:

This they said to test him, that they might have some charge to bring against him.
 

Roughsoul1991

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Sep 17, 2016
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" ...makes her commit adultery" more accurately means "makes her the victim of adultery"....

https://trinitybiblechapel.ca/what-does-makes-her-commit-adultery-mean-matt-532/

How can she commit adultery, when she didn't?
I interpret this to mean as long as she doesn't contain the certificate of divorce then anyone who marries her will be entering into adultery because the marriage had not ended.

I love the quote though out of your link.

It is like amputating a leg: sometimes it’s allowed, but it’s never welcome.
 
Feb 24, 2022
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In that particular case (told only in John 8) they were trying to trap Jesus. Verse six specifies this:

This they said to test him, that they might have some charge to bring against him.
But definitely not the only time they deliberately created such a difficult situation in order to trap him. You know, today's leftists are using the same tactics if you have been paying attention, they ask these loaded questions with ridiculous hypothesis, you'll be condemned whether you answered yes or no. The right way to push back is to expose their intention and throw it back at them like Jesus did.
 
Feb 24, 2022
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I interpret this to mean as long as she doesn't contain the certificate of divorce then anyone who marries her will be entering into adultery because the marriage had not ended.

I love the quote though out of your link.

It is like amputating a leg: sometimes it’s allowed, but it’s never welcome.
Yes, from a spiritual perspective, adultery is the only legal ground for divorce. Interestingly and sadly, a lot of Hollywood writers and producers understand this better than many Christians do, even though we all know that they're Satan worshippers who hate family and marriage. The reason I'm saying this is, based on my observation, whenever there's a divorce or just a breakup, the direct trigger is always cheating - not that the guy is a worthless loser, not that he's a workaholic married to his job, not that he's bad in bed, not any fundamental disagreement on money management, childrearing or house decoration, not any different views on politics or religion, not that he's far away at a distant place, not even that he's an abusive or manipulative jerk. These are all contributors that inevitably lead up to cheating, but there's always a third party homewrecker involved, and eventually it's always cheating that seals the deal, because that's the breach of a covenant. When one commits adultery, even just wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am with a prostitute, according to Paul in 1 Cor. 6, a new spiritual bond is formed as two become one.
 

Roughsoul1991

Senior Member
Sep 17, 2016
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Yes, from a spiritual perspective, adultery is the only legal ground for divorce. Interestingly and sadly, a lot of Hollywood writers and producers understand this better than many Christians do, even though we all know that they're Satan worshippers who hate family and marriage. The reason I'm saying this is, based on my observation, whenever there's a divorce or just a breakup, the direct trigger is always cheating - not that the guy is a worthless loser, not that he's a workaholic married to his job, not that he's bad in bed, not any fundamental disagreement on money management, childrearing or house decoration, not any different views on politics or religion, not that he's far away at a distant place, not even that he's an abusive or manipulative jerk. These are all contributors that inevitably lead up to cheating, but there's always a third party homewrecker involved, and eventually it's always cheating that seals the deal, because that's the breach of a covenant. When one commits adultery, even just wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am with a prostitute, according to Paul in 1 Cor. 6, a new spiritual bond is formed as two become one.
Agreed. Marriage is no joke to God. It is one serious covenant that I believe most do not even fully understand on the day of their marriage.

Only a few reasons for divorce is allowed and it has to be done a certain way. The certain way is so that the innocent individual is taken care of and both legally and spiritually proven to be innocent. It is like an outward source of evidence to show I am just and sinless in this matter. The rules was put into place to largely protect women as that culture had almost no rights for women.