Confidence is Attractive?

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S

Seeking-Christ

Guest
#1
#1
Confidence is Attractive? Not everything that is attractive is good. Let me tell you a little story. I was a young kid trying to learn math. I was starting to feel good about myself because I was finally starting to understand the math problems. In those days my parents helped me with my homework. My mom felt that I was getting it wrong, but I was CONFIDENT that I had it right. My dad took one look and said, I thought you told me that you were right and mom wasn't. No Mom is right, your not.

My point is, just because someone acts confident, or even believes they are confident about something, does not mean they are right. So why on Earth would people be attracted to confidence? There are things in life I do that I am not confident about, and yet I make it work. There are still things that I am confident about, and still have it fall apart. In fact I try not to allow myself to become confident about anything dangerous like driving. Because once I start feeling too good about myself, that is usually when I make the most mistakes.
 
Dino246

Dino246

Senior Member
#2
Jun 30, 2015
25,625
13,874
113
#2
Built competence.

Confidence will follow.
 
cinder

cinder

Senior Member
#3
Mar 26, 2014
4,436
2,423
113
#3
Short answer (because it's too late for this and I should go to bed). Confidence is about having the belief in yourself and courage to put something of yourself out there. It's less about being completely sure you're right and more about being willing to give an answer or give something a try. That's why confidence is attractive. It's because it's the key (especially in the early stages where the two of you are practically strangers) to someone being willing to expose enough of themselves that there's something to start to connect and get to know each other on.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#4
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#4
interesting
I remember when my former boss kept bluffing that he knew everything (when he didnt) but that meant he talked himself up and over promised and under delivered

That might work for some customers but its also shortchanging them I think. Its not wrong to admit you dont know something and then commit to learning or asking for help (not or someone to do things FOR you, but to help so you can then do things) or, taking you time and getting back to someone about something.

however he was sold on confidence meaning BS your way through life. lol

Personally I dont find that kind of confidence attractive
But you do sort of have to appear to know what you are doing in a job where people are relying on you, to come up with the goods. So it works for business and gambling which are kinda the same thing it seems to me ...!
 
J

JAPOV

Guest
#5
#5
Hmmmm... Well, consider the alternative;
What if you possessed all the confidence that life experience has rightly rewarded you with? What if you're the type that has always been so capable that you have absolutely nothing left to prove? What if you don't even bother second guessing yourself anymore because you're always right?
However, you're still despised because you're too old, too ugly, too stuck in your ways, too arrogant, too opinionated, too sanctimonious, too full of yourself.... :rolleyes:

Dude... people just SUCK!
My advice; Carry on like you don't give a damn!
If they don't take an interest in you then that's their loss!
But, cherish the ones that do.

And quit obsessing about WOMEN! They never measure up to your expectations... They're only looking for the least offensive option that they can wrap around their finger anyway.

A man that finds a good woman is truly blessed. Problem is, men generally perpetuate the notion that they're ALL God's gift...
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#6
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#6
con-artist
short for CONFIDENCE trick.

or con-man

you choose!
if someone keeps saying 'trust me' ....I wouldnt!

it's a con.
 
listenyoumustAll

listenyoumustAll

Well-known member
#7
Jul 22, 2021
404
288
63
#7
Seeking-Christ said:
Confidence is Attractive? Not everything that is attractive is good. Let me tell you a little story. I was a young kid trying to learn math. I was starting to feel good about myself because I was finally starting to understand the math problems. In those days my parents helped me with my homework. My mom felt that I was getting it wrong, but I was CONFIDENT that I had it right. My dad took one look and said, I thought you told me that you were right and mom wasn't. No Mom is right, your not.

My point is, just because someone acts confident, or even believes they are confident about something, does not mean they are right. So why on Earth would people be attracted to confidence? There are things in life I do that I am not confident about, and yet I make it work. There are still things that I am confident about, and still have it fall apart. In fact I try not to allow myself to become confident about anything dangerous like driving. Because once I start feeling too good about myself, that is usually when I make the most mistakes.
Click to expand...
Countenance as confident is attractive. .
 
G

Gideon300

Well-known member
#8
Mar 18, 2021
5,452
3,235
113
Frankston, Victoria
christianlife.au
#8
Seeking-Christ said:
Confidence is Attractive? Not everything that is attractive is good. Let me tell you a little story. I was a young kid trying to learn math. I was starting to feel good about myself because I was finally starting to understand the math problems. In those days my parents helped me with my homework. My mom felt that I was getting it wrong, but I was CONFIDENT that I had it right. My dad took one look and said, I thought you told me that you were right and mom wasn't. No Mom is right, your not.

My point is, just because someone acts confident, or even believes they are confident about something, does not mean they are right. So why on Earth would people be attracted to confidence? There are things in life I do that I am not confident about, and yet I make it work. There are still things that I am confident about, and still have it fall apart. In fact I try not to allow myself to become confident about anything dangerous like driving. Because once I start feeling too good about myself, that is usually when I make the most mistakes.
Click to expand...
Christians need confidence, but not in themselves. We need confidence in Christ, based on knowledge and experience. We should be gaining spiritual knowledge as we go in in the Lord. We should know that everything we think we have learned will be tested. We may think that we know a certain truth, for example, that God will provide every material need. That's what the Bible says after all. It's when a need beyond out means arises that we discover if we truly know. If we remain confident in God's promise, in spite of the circumstance, we will not be disappointed. If we fall apart, it shows that our supposed confidence was false.

People are attracted to confidence because most people are insecure in some way. A confident person helps them to overcome their insecurities. I never considered myself to be athletic and I would not try. I met someone who was athletic. He somehow convinced me to try a somersault. To my astonishment, I was able.

Ephesians 3:12

"In Him and through faith in Him we may enter God's presence with boldness and confidence." If our confidence is in self, we will surely fail. If it is in Christ, we have the victory already.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#9
Aug 13, 2014
27,750
9,677
113
#9
JAPOV said:
And quit obsessing about WOMEN! They never measure up to your expectations... They're only looking for the least offensive option that they can wrap around their finger anyway.
Click to expand...
I know a good many women who are not only looking for that.

But yeah, quit obsessing about women. :cool:
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#10
Aug 13, 2014
27,750
9,677
113
#10
Seeking-Christ said:
Confidence is Attractive? Not everything that is attractive is good. Let me tell you a little story. I was a young kid trying to learn math. I was starting to feel good about myself because I was finally starting to understand the math problems. In those days my parents helped me with my homework. My mom felt that I was getting it wrong, but I was CONFIDENT that I had it right. My dad took one look and said, I thought you told me that you were right and mom wasn't. No Mom is right, your not.

My point is, just because someone acts confident, or even believes they are confident about something, does not mean they are right. So why on Earth would people be attracted to confidence? There are things in life I do that I am not confident about, and yet I make it work. There are still things that I am confident about, and still have it fall apart. In fact I try not to allow myself to become confident about anything dangerous like driving. Because once I start feeling too good about myself, that is usually when I make the most mistakes.
Click to expand...
There is a fine line between confidence and arrogance. The Bible that said pride goes before a fall is the same Bible that said if the war trumpets gave out an uncertain sound, who would arm themselves and report for the battle?

Real confidence is attractive. Arrogance, on the other hand, stinks like fish that have been dead four days.
 
BrotherMike

BrotherMike

Be Still and Know
#11
Jan 8, 2018
1,617
1,671
113
#11
Lynx said:
There is a fine line between confidence and arrogance. The Bible that said pride goes before a fall is the same Bible that said if the war trumpets gave out an uncertain sound, who would arm themselves and report for the battle?

Real confidence is attractive. Arrogance, on the other hand, stinks like fish that have been dead four days.
Click to expand...
This!!!
 
OneOfHis

OneOfHis

Well-known member
#12
Mar 24, 2019
1,430
2,210
113
#12
I don't find confidence attractive. I don't find it repulsive either.

When I think about what is and is not attractive in a woman, their level of confidence wouldn't even make the list if I was asked to somehow come up with 100 things I like or dislike or look for.
 
stilllearning

stilllearning

Well-known member
#13
Oct 4, 2021
598
307
63
#13
Seeking-Christ said:
Confidence is Attractive? Not everything that is attractive is good. Let me tell you a little story. I was a young kid trying to learn math. I was starting to feel good about myself because I was finally starting to understand the math problems. In those days my parents helped me with my homework. My mom felt that I was getting it wrong, but I was CONFIDENT that I had it right. My dad took one look and said, I thought you told me that you were right and mom wasn't. No Mom is right, your not.

My point is, just because someone acts confident, or even believes they are confident about something, does not mean they are right. So why on Earth would people be attracted to confidence? There are things in life I do that I am not confident about, and yet I make it work. There are still things that I am confident about, and still have it fall apart. In fact I try not to allow myself to become confident about anything dangerous like driving. Because once I start feeling too good about myself, that is usually when I make the most mistakes.
Click to expand...
All gals are different so what one may find attractive another may not. I know for me personally I have confidence and can cold approach a gal. However, that is my type, gals that like to be approached or like men to make the first move or like to be flirted with.

So I can see where confidence is attractive to them because they like guys that approach them. I over my life have approached enough that if they say no. It don't bug me I'll just make a joke back so they laugh. So it just diffuses the worry and awkwardness of the situation. By that I mean I can understand when gals say they worry how a man may react when they say no. So I just use humor to say no worry it is all good.

Confidence in my opinion the only way to get it is to get rejected. Hearing no more than you ever do yes. You just pick up experience and social skills. Which in my experience women are attracted to men that have social skills and can adapt in a social setting. So there are other skills that come with confidence. However, I don't think you can get any of them unless you are willing to face rejection. So I would say go out and start getting rejected and use it to learn. It can really teach ya how to read people and be able to adapt and react. Which at the same time just builds your confidence and you get where rejection don't bother you.

I think the funniest just walking up to a gal. Had to be when I was 16 the carnival had come through our city. Me and a buddy from high school went to hang out and just goof off. There were these two gals so I said I am gonna go talk to them. So headed over and was talking to one of them and flirting and such and asked her if she would like to go out sometime. She said she had a boyfriend.

I did not lose a beat I turned right to her friend and started talking to her. Needless to say the looks that came across both their faces and what they had to say how they have never in all their life been subject to such. Just made me laugh and learn ok in the future I may not want to do that again. ............LOL

So my advice go just start talking to gals and learn from the experience it will build your confidence and never under any circumstances if a gal says no turn to her friend and start to hit on her..............LOL
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#14
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#14
meh

just because a girl has a boyfriend doesnt mean she cant even talk to any other boys

its just talking

boys are weird like that, they think if they are boyfriend to a girl, that girl is NOT ALLOWED to talk to anyone else, like they'll put gaffer tape on her lips. But its ok for that boy to talk to other girls and the girl has to put up with that.

hypocrite much?

Ok I understand its difficult sometimes to have more than a 2 way conversation with someone but this is where theres a concept of TAKING TURNS to speak

not all talking at once.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#15
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#15
Im thinking conversational skills need to be taught to both boys and girls at high school age, cos clearly somethings NOT working here
 
Magenta

Magenta

Senior Member
#16
Jul 3, 2015
61,229
30,352
113
#16
stilllearning said:
All gals are different so what one may find attractive another may not. I know for me personally I have confidence and can cold approach a gal. However, that is my type, gals that like to be approached or like men to make the first move or like to be flirted with.

So I can see where confidence is attractive to them because they like guys that approach them. I over my life have approached enough that if they say no. It don't bug me I'll just make a joke back so they laugh. So it just diffuses the worry and awkwardness of the situation. By that I mean I can understand when gals say they worry how a man may react when they say no. So I just use humor to say no worry it is all good.

Confidence in my opinion the only way to get it is to get rejected. Hearing no more than you ever do yes. You just pick up experience and social skills. Which in my experience women are attracted to men that have social skills and can adapt in a social setting. So there are other skills that come with confidence. However, I don't think you can get any of them unless you are willing to face rejection. So I would say go out and start getting rejected and use it to learn. It can really teach ya how to read people and be able to adapt and react. Which at the same time just builds your confidence and you get where rejection don't bother you.

I think the funniest just walking up to a gal. Had to be when I was 16 the carnival had come through our city. Me and a buddy from high school went to hang out and just goof off. There were these two gals so I said I am gonna go talk to them. So headed over and was talking to one of them and flirting and such and asked her if she would like to go out sometime. She said she had a boyfriend.

I did not lose a beat I turned right to her friend and started talking to her. Needless to say the looks that came across both their faces and what they had to say how they have never in all their life been subject to such. Just made me laugh and learn ok in the future I may not want to do that again. ............LOL

So my advice go just start talking to gals and learn from the experience it will build your confidence and never under any circumstances if a gal says no turn to her friend and start to hit on her..............LOL
Click to expand...
That's hilarious :giggle: (Your teenage story ;)) I wonder how it would have played
out had the second girl taken you up on your offer... especially in terms of how
the first girl might feel about it, finding out over time what a wonderful guy you
are as her friend gushes about you to her continually, knowing what a numbskull
she was to turn you down, hearing all the great things she missed out on :LOL:
 
B

BeeThePeace

Active member
#17
May 2, 2022
443
135
43
#17
Dino246 said:
Built competence.

Confidence will follow.
Click to expand...
Competence and confidence are attractive. They're characteristics of a strong person who is self assured and independent in as much as they are not prone to playing the victim to life's challenges.
 
stilllearning

stilllearning

Well-known member
#18
Oct 4, 2021
598
307
63
#18
Magenta said:
That's hilarious :giggle: (Your teenage story ;)) I wonder how it would have played
out had the second girl taken you up on your offer... especially in terms of how
the first girl might feel about it, finding out over time what a wonderful guy you
are as her friend gushes about you to her continually, knowing what a numbskull
she was to turn you down, hearing all the great things she missed out on :LOL:
Click to expand...
Mags, I like the way yours plays out better. In my mind I was more apt to think what a train wreck that would have been and I would have been the end of a friendship. So you sold me from now on I am gonna do a additional narration of the story with how they both missed out and the friend missed her chance to torque her friend by letting her know she found THE ONE..........LOL

The friend not recalling what exactly was said but she was perturbed saying something along the lines how dare I so boldly in her face make her a second choice.......LOL They both went to Palmer High School instead of Harrison High School like me, so the matter of my upper class status would have eventually got in the way........LOL I am so messing around there.............LOL

However, I like your scenario better makes for a happier ending for me at least......LOL
 
G

Gojira

Guest
#19
#19
Seeking-Christ said:
Confidence is Attractive? Not everything that is attractive is good. Let me tell you a little story. I was a young kid trying to learn math. I was starting to feel good about myself because I was finally starting to understand the math problems. In those days my parents helped me with my homework. My mom felt that I was getting it wrong, but I was CONFIDENT that I had it right. My dad took one look and said, I thought you told me that you were right and mom wasn't. No Mom is right, your not.

My point is, just because someone acts confident, or even believes they are confident about something, does not mean they are right. So why on Earth would people be attracted to confidence? There are things in life I do that I am not confident about, and yet I make it work. There are still things that I am confident about, and still have it fall apart. In fact I try not to allow myself to become confident about anything dangerous like driving. Because once I start feeling too good about myself, that is usually when I make the most mistakes.
Click to expand...
Self-confidence, a general belief in yourself and/or the lack of a need to get approval from others is attractive.

I once saw this Latin lady get on a subway in NY. (I mention her ethnicity since I tend to be partial to Latin American women.) Anyway, she was overweight and wouldn't necessarily have drawn my eye, but she walked onto that train like she owned it. I was immediately impressed by her. She gave the impression that she was of a solid psychological constitution. Very attractive.
 
1ofthem

1ofthem

Senior Member
#20
Mar 30, 2016
3,729
1,921
113
#20
Confidence is attractive. Arrogance is not.

Confidence is believing in your self-worth and abilities and being able to engage with others knowing that you are worthwhile. They don't always have to be right to be confident in their abilities. Confident people can take constructive criticism and use it to improve. They are kind to others and don't criticize or belittle others to make themselves feel superior.

Arrogance is an exaggerated sense of self-importance and superiority. Arrogant people are insecure and seek validation from others by bragging and boasting about their capabilities. They are know-it-alls who can never admit to being wrong. Arrogant people criticize and belittle others to try to make themselves look superior.
 
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