Probably Not Going to Heaven

I don't know enough to judge. However generally speaking you might have had a misunderstanding about true salvation. Read Luke several times with the help of a couple of modern evangelical commentaries. Luke does a great job of showing how Jesus made a clear distinction between those who would claim to follow him and know him but really didn't and those who were the true disciples and did what he said and would be saved. Maybe this will help you with your theology about what it means to be saved.

Once you are born again you will have an overwhelming joy that is better than anything you can ever experience in this life including sex.

Many seekers have testified to a long search for this assurance of salvation including people like Augustine, Luther, and other great writers in church history.

But once they found it there was no more doubt. Maybe that is where you are at.

Then again you sound a little like you might be suffering from the brain chemistry issues when you talk about "feelings" Have you been diagnosed for clinical depression?

Feelings from the brain can really do a number on people as they search for a "reason" for the feelings. The Joy of salvation can over ride these physical up and down feeling issues but I do understand that some people have severe cases of "feeling bad" that are treatable.

I have been diagnosed with many issues. I don't have the list here to show.

It is hard to offer advice because there are too many questions that need to be answered first.

Have you ever known the joy of salvation?

Are you living in sin. People who practice habitual sin are going to feel like they are in danger of waking up in hell with eternal regret no matter how many days they listen to reformed theology.

If you have never known the joy of salvation and don't think you are backslidden then maybe you haven't been born again yet.

If you can say that you have been born again, and have known what it means to be full of the Holy Spirit and full of the Joy of salvation, but don't feel that way anymore, it is probably because of unrepentant sin.

The doubt and unbelief you expressed makes me wonder if you are dealing with depression or maybe have never been born again. I would need to know more.

The bottom line is that you can have genuine faith, Jesus is not rejecting you, or casting you out, You can know the joy of salvation. You can overcome the sins that beset you and you can really discover that living for Jesus is far better than the lusts of the flesh. Sex ain't got nothing on the Joy of he Lord.

You keep bringing up sex, over and over again. I have never had sex.

You brought it up. It seemed like your reason for doubting your salvation.

The Prophet Jonah was so angry that he literally wanted to die. He was angry at God, the enemies of Israel, and probably himself. God didn’t give him what he wanted, and he was scorned because if that.

God doesn’t give us want, but what we need, and it can be very painful. Is God only worthy of praise when it suits us? Is he not be to praised in times of our distress as well? Is He not only the God gives but also the God that will take away?

These are difficult lessons that many flee from. We are inundate day in and day out of how we should be healthy, wealthy, and wise. Unfortunately, many buy into that and are left completely dishearten when their desires are left unfulfilled. Even Job took issue with God, but realized that God is God not matter what our circumstances are. God will take care of those that He calls His own.

Are you more like Jonah, or more like Job?

I got no idea who I'm more like. I think I'm just me. I got struggles and I write about them.

There are some things about God that don't FEEL fair to me.

Not sure if I have said this to you before , but you sound like you are in what John Bunyan called " The dungeon of despair "

Maybe you could read about the Parables of the Four soils from Matthew 13:1-23

It's been many years, but I have the The Pilgrim's Progress in audio format. I listened to it many years ago.



I guess if I was someone that didn't listen to the bible everyday. I probably go through that Parable about once a year.

We see fairness from a finite perspective. If we really wanted God to be fair, we would all have to endure His justice, which is enteral punishment. Grace from that shows His true love for mercy and not actual fairness.

Take the bible , open it , and just read the Parable of the soils , then read it again , and see if you can see your heart in one of them , because it will be there...It is a clear picture of the state of our minds...If you see your self in the 1st three , and not the fourth , then you will see you are in need of saving grace...In my opinion , it is much better to have a bible that you can turn the pages , rather than listening online , unless we are really mature in Gods word...God has given you a gift of writing , so as you study the pages of the NT , you can write down what God is teaching you...But pray and ask God to open your eyes , because He said " If you seek Me , you will find Me if you seek Me with all your heart "...