Probably Not Going to Heaven

[Seeking-Christ]

Even though I've grown up in the Church and have said some form of Sinners prayer, more times then I can tell you. I'm probably not going to be in heaven. I just don't feel that God is answering my prayers. If He's not answering my other prayers then why should I trust that He answered that one? I feel like I've been abandoned by God. I know you could point me some scriptures and say "see here" and try to reason with me. But I just feel like there is something messed up. Something that is so deeply messed up that I may not be able to have the right kind of faith, or the right kind of Love for Jesus that I need to be a Christian. I know you looking for clues in my writing. But know this, no matter how well I try to write in a blog, or in any message. I can not cover all the details you need to read. My brain will not output enough information. Sometimes conversation helps, because in conversation, there is back and forth.

I try to get in the word the best I can. I try to pray the best I can. But nothing works for me. That is why I think I was maybe made for Hell. Lately I've been feeling like I've been gradually loosing my belief. Not the belief in Jesus being a real person that came and died and rose again. But loosing my belief in my own salvation.

 

[Seeking-Christ]

It just occurred to me that one of the biggest reasons why this is so hard for me to write this is, because it isn't logical. I can think of nothing in the Bible that I can use to back up any of this. In fact in order for me to write this, I got to deny the promises in scripture.

The reason why I write this is because I have a very very very strong feeling in my gut, and in my mind, that I'm going to hell. All the bible in all the world, has never helped me to get rid of that feeling. It's a very persistent feeling that I don't understand where it comes from. It could come from Satan, Devils, I mean who knows. Could even come from the way I was treated growing up. Your guess is as good as mine. But it's an awful feeling!

 

[Amanuensis]

I don't know enough to judge. However generally speaking you might have had a misunderstanding about true salvation. Read Luke several times with the help of a couple of modern evangelical commentaries. Luke does a great job of showing how Jesus made a clear distinction between those who would claim to follow him and know him but really didn't and those who were the true disciples and did what he said and would be saved. Maybe this will help you with your theology about what it means to be saved.

Once you are born again you will have an overwhelming joy that is better than anything you can ever experience in this life including sex.

Many seekers have testified to a long search for this assurance of salvation including people like Augustine, Luther, and other great writers in church history.

But once they found it there was no more doubt. Maybe that is where you are at.

Then again you sound a little like you might be suffering from the brain chemistry issues when you talk about "feelings" Have you been diagnosed for clinical depression?

Feelings from the brain can really do a number on people as they search for a "reason" for the feelings. The Joy of salvation can over ride these physical up and down feeling issues but I do understand that some people have severe cases of "feeling bad" that are treatable.

 

[Seeking-Christ]

I don't know enough to judge. However generally speaking you might have had a misunderstanding about true salvation. Read Luke several times with the help of a couple of modern evangelical commentaries. Luke does a great job of showing how Jesus made a clear distinction between those who would claim to follow him and know him but really didn't and those who were the true disciples and did what he said and would be saved. Maybe this will help you with your theology about what it means to be saved.

Once you are born again you will have an overwhelming joy that is better than anything you can ever experience in this life including sex.

Many seekers have testified to a long search for this assurance of salvation including people like Augustine, Luther, and other great writers in church history.

But once they found it there was no more doubt. Maybe that is where you are at.

Then again you sound a little like you might be suffering from the brain chemistry issues when you talk about "feelings" Have you been diagnosed for clinical depression?

Feelings from the brain can really do a number on people as they search for a "reason" for the feelings. The Joy of salvation can over ride these physical up and down feeling issues but I do understand that some people have severe cases of "feeling bad" that are treatable.

I have been diagnosed with many issues. I don't have the list here to show.

 

[Amanuensis]

I have been diagnosed with many issues. I don't have the list here to show.

It is hard to offer advice because there are too many questions that need to be answered first.

Have you ever known the joy of salvation?

Are you living in sin. People who practice habitual sin are going to feel like they are in danger of waking up in hell with eternal regret no matter how many days they listen to reformed theology.

If you have never known the joy of salvation and don't think you are backslidden then maybe you haven't been born again yet.

If you can say that you have been born again, and have known what it means to be full of the Holy Spirit and full of the Joy of salvation, but don't feel that way anymore, it is probably because of unrepentant sin.

The doubt and unbelief you expressed makes me wonder if you are dealing with depression or maybe have never been born again. I would need to know more.

The bottom line is that you can have genuine faith, Jesus is not rejecting you, or casting you out, You can know the joy of salvation. You can overcome the sins that beset you and you can really discover that living for Jesus is far better than the lusts of the flesh. Sex ain't got nothing on the Joy of he Lord.

 

[Seeking-Christ]

It is hard to offer advice because there are too many questions that need to be answered first.

Have you ever known the joy of salvation?

Are you living in sin. People who practice habitual sin are going to feel like they are in danger of waking up in hell with eternal regret no matter how many days they listen to reformed theology.

If you have never known the joy of salvation and don't think you are backslidden then maybe you haven't been born again yet.

If you can say that you have been born again, and have known what it means to be full of the Holy Spirit and full of the Joy of salvation, but don't feel that way anymore, it is probably because of unrepentant sin.

The doubt and unbelief you expressed makes me wonder if you are dealing with depression or maybe have never been born again. I would need to know more.

The bottom line is that you can have genuine faith, Jesus is not rejecting you, or casting you out, You can know the joy of salvation. You can overcome the sins that beset you and you can really discover that living for Jesus is far better than the lusts of the flesh. Sex ain't got nothing on the Joy of he Lord.

You keep bringing up sex, over and over again. I have never had sex.

 

[Amanuensis]

You keep bringing up sex, over and over again. I have never had sex.

You brought it up. It seemed like your reason for doubting your salvation.

 

[Aerials1978]

The Prophet Jonah was so angry that he literally wanted to die. He was angry at God, the enemies of Israel, and probably himself. God didn’t give him what he wanted, and he was scorned because if that.

God doesn’t give us want, but what we need, and it can be very painful. Is God only worthy of praise when it suits us? Is he not be to praised in times of our distress as well? Is He not only the God gives but also the God that will take away?

These are difficult lessons that many flee from. We are inundate day in and day out of how we should be healthy, wealthy, and wise. Unfortunately, many buy into that and are left completely dishearten when their desires are left unfulfilled. Even Job took issue with God, but realized that God is God not matter what our circumstances are. God will take care of those that He calls His own.

Are you more like Jonah, or more like Job?

 

[Seeking-Christ]

You brought it up. It seemed like your reason for doubting your salvation.

i didn't bring it up in this post.

 

[Bingo]

"Family forum being a good place for support. And will share some thoughts
with you when this topic is noted there."
Thank you.

 

[Seeking-Christ]

The Prophet Jonah was so angry that he literally wanted to die. He was angry at God, the enemies of Israel, and probably himself. God didn’t give him what he wanted, and he was scorned because if that.

God doesn’t give us want, but what we need, and it can be very painful. Is God only worthy of praise when it suits us? Is he not be to praised in times of our distress as well? Is He not only the God gives but also the God that will take away?

These are difficult lessons that many flee from. We are inundate day in and day out of how we should be healthy, wealthy, and wise. Unfortunately, many buy into that and are left completely dishearten when their desires are left unfulfilled. Even Job took issue with God, but realized that God is God not matter what our circumstances are. God will take care of those that He calls His own.

Are you more like Jonah, or more like Job?

I got no idea who I'm more like. I think I'm just me. I got struggles and I write about them.

There are some things about God that don't FEEL fair to me.

 

[Aerials1978]

I got no idea who I'm more like. I think I'm just me. I got struggles and I write about them.

There are some things about God that don't FEEL fair to me.

We see fairness from a finite perspective. If we really wanted God to be fair, we would all have to endure His justice, which is enteral punishment. Grace from that shows His true love for mercy and not actual fairness.

 

[Rosemaryx]

Not sure if I have said this to you before , but you sound like you are in what John Bunyan called " The dungeon of despair "
Maybe you could read about the Parables of the Four soils from Matthew 13:1-23

 

[Seeking-Christ]

Not sure if I have said this to you before , but you sound like you are in what John Bunyan called " The dungeon of despair "

It's been many years, but I have the The Pilgrim's Progress in audio format. I listened to it many years ago.

Maybe you could read about the Parables of the Four soils from Matthew 13:1-23

I guess if I was someone that didn't listen to the bible everyday. I probably go through that Parable about once a year.

 

[Rosemaryx]

It's been many years, but I have the The Pilgrim's Progress in audio format. I listened to it many years ago.



I guess if I was someone that didn't listen to the bible everyday. I probably go through that Parable about once a year.

Take the bible , open it , and just read the Parable of the soils , then read it again , and see if you can see your heart in one of them , because it will be there...It is a clear picture of the state of our minds...If you see your self in the 1st three , and not the fourth , then you will see you are in need of saving grace...In my opinion , it is much better to have a bible that you can turn the pages , rather than listening online , unless we are really mature in Gods word...God has given you a gift of writing , so as you study the pages of the NT , you can write down what God is teaching you...But pray and ask God to open your eyes , because He said " If you seek Me , you will find Me if you seek Me with all your heart "...

 

[Seeking-Christ]

We see fairness from a finite perspective. If we really wanted God to be fair, we would all have to endure His justice, which is enteral punishment. Grace from that shows His true love for mercy and not actual fairness.

I have thinking about writing a blog about Why I think I'm going to Hell, and why I might Ok with it. I'm sure that would a controversial topic. What I would do in that blog is show some scriptures and make the argument that even Christian believers are going to end up in hell because the bible says that anyone who commits X sins. I know almost exactly which scriptures, I think back up this point of view. Because as far as I can tell, every believer I have ever know commits those sins, every now and again. Even the sin of Anger, is like murder.

 

[Seeking-Christ]

Take the bible , open it , and just read the Parable of the soils , then read it again , and see if you can see your heart in one of them , because it will be there...It is a clear picture of the state of our minds...If you see your self in the 1st three , and not the fourth , then you will see you are in need of saving grace...In my opinion , it is much better to have a bible that you can turn the pages , rather than listening online , unless we are really mature in Gods word...God has given you a gift of writing , so as you study the pages of the NT , you can write down what God is teaching you...But pray and ask God to open your eyes , because He said " If you seek Me , you will find Me if you seek Me with all your heart "...

The audio isn't online. It's on my mp3 player. I listen while I work. The reason why I do it this way because my learning disability or some other problem makes it hard for me to read. Sometimes when I'm reading a book I'll grab the audio and try to read along that way. Even when I was in Elementary School, the teachers told my parents that I would probably never learn to read. But thanks to may dad yelling at me all the time, while trying to teach me, I was able to at least get this good.

 

[Seeking-Christ]

When I read stuff, I got to have everything around me dead silent, and I got to be well rested, or I can't concentrate good enough.

 

[Rosemaryx]

Another thing...
I have been in that dungeon of despair , and it was horrific , it was like Satan had locked me in , but unbeknown to me , I had the key to get out , and that Key was Jesus...I was in that dungeon for the first 3 yrs of my Salvation , and the reason why I was , was because I was not reading the Word daily , and having my mind renewed...
I also suffer with mental illness , and that has contributed to my thinking , and everyday I need my mind to be washed with Gods promises or else my thoughts override the truth and I end up in the dungeon of despair again...Hope you reach out some more...

 

[Seeking-Christ]

Matthew 13

13 That same day Jesus went out of the house and sat by the lake. 2 Such large crowds gathered around him that he got into a boat and sat in it, while all the people stood on the shore. 3 Then he told them many things in parables, saying: “A farmer went out to sow his seed. 4 As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. 5 Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. 6 But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. 7 Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants. 8 Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop—a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown. 9 Whoever has ears, let them hear.”