Daughter Following the Wrong Path

Hi! I've already posted this on Christianforums, but I wanted as much advice as I could get and hear different voices on what I should do: so, I’m a mother of 3 and I have a 16 (turning 17 in a few weeks time) year old daughter. I’ve always taught my kids and brought them up with strong Christian values: teaching them between wrong and right and important lessons from the Bible. My husband, two kids, I go to church every day but my daughter hasn’t been going neither has she been going to youth group (I found out she had been lying to me about youth group). I recently found out she’s been seeing a boy, a Muslim Algerian Arab boy for that matter. She’s been sneaking off to be with him and lying about being at sleepovers and after school activities to spend time with him. I found out from certain people that they’ve been seeing each other of a while and they’ve even been having a sexual relationship. This made me furious since we taught all my kids about remaining chaste, the dangers of temptation, and basic Sex Ed. After find this out I did a sweep of her room and found birth control pills hidden and a condom wrapper shoved in her period case!!!! I’m fuming even writing this, I don’t think I can look at my little girl the same way. I’m worried she’s frequenting a Muslim in an intimate and emotional way. I’m worried she’ll lose what’s left of her Christian faith, what if she converts to Islam or even gets pregnant with a child who would grow up in a non-Christian environment. I’m scared this Muslim boy is going to give her ideas that throw her fathers and I’s values out of the window. What should I do? I can’t believe this is happening, I feel so lost, my husband thinks we should send her away so she can be far from that boy but there’s always communication through social media. What should I do, I’m worried for my daughter.

First off breath in and out very slowly. Anger if uncontrolled can lead to bad decisions.

She is 16 and not an adult so you can tell her that if she is still seeing this boy then she will be grounded from all devices. Or I know they have apps that track your kids location and every text/call.

I would meet with this kids parents and tell them very respectfully that you do not want your daughter dating at 16.

Obviously, if you haven't already then not only speak on abstinence but speak on why God calls it a sin. Speak on statistically why sex before marriage can be dangerous and make it really hard on young women. She needs to know the dangers to sex even if you don't want to touch the subject. She still needs your wisdom and protection. She still needs to know that condoms and birth control are not 100% proof at preventing pregnany and STDs.

She needs to know what type of husband she should be looking for. (Biblical role of a husband). I tell my kids to date with life long marriage in mind. If she/he isn't someone you see as a lifelong mate then don't bother dating.

She needs a safe environment to talk to you with your anger in submission. She obviously has fallen into rebellion from the morals you have planted but remember that is a common phase among teens.

They need to know you always will love them even if you do not affirm their choices but you understand eventually they will have to learn from those choices.

Explain the reason why you believe a Biblical husband is best because you love her and want what's best for her. You want a man who will live out the will of God, who will be selfless, who will treat her like she is special in the eyes of God.

If verbal communication has failed, try writing a letter.

I wrote this a few days ago to encourage parents. Maybe it will help you too.

https://christianchat.com/christian-family-forum/the-refining-pressures-of-life.206446/

I'll stop here for now but remember you have not failed as a parent. She is becoming an adult who is making their own decisions while knowing it is against your will.

Hi candersenlota, Im not going to give you advice as Ive not yet gone throught this but it got my attention as a parent of a daughter. I was going to recommend you read the thread by Roughsoul1991 but I see hes replied to with some really helpful advice.
So I think Im just going to privately pray on this matter that you hear from God soon to guide you and your daughter through this.

How old is the Muslim boy ?

-Islam teaches very nasty things about christian women, that they can be lied to and used and then disposed without it being a sin to the muslim, very nasty stuff. Please consider what legal recourse you may have for her protection, in some states it may be a statutory violation.

From what I understood, they’re in the same grade and he’s a few months older.

Islame requires lying if it is to further islame. Very nasty religion and NOT of God.

Hi Candersenlota, how are things going with your daughter? Hopefully the situation has calmed down and youre all able to talk and listen and pray together. God bless.

Thank you for caring N.P.

Right back at you shittim (what does your name mean?) we all care right? its hard to read a post like that and log out without replying. pulls at your heartstrings. God bless you for your encouragement to others.

Shittim was the last place the Israelites camped before entering the Promised Land, when I found CC I thought this might be the last forum I "camped" at before I go home.
It is also a wood.
bless you

Phew Im glad it means that and not what I originally thought, just hadnt googled it yet.
This site is great, so many views. I dont have to agree with all but happy to know they cared enough to share. This is the first Christian site Ive encountered and the first site Ive paid to be a member of but its worth it!

yes, one guy first responded...
"How did you get away with that!" Then he reread it, I struggled to find a handle, now wish I had taken a little more time or capitalized it.
Seems if we invest in something, we get more out of it, and we know " the workman is worthy of his hire" they go the extra mile to keep it going I am sure.
bless you sister

I will keep this all in prayer. Because their hormones are going overload. I have heard of people putting their foot down grounding and all that. Then the kids ended up running away and the girl ends up pregnant. Is there anyway you could talk to the young man? Forbidding her to see him may push her further away. I would sit down and talk about boundaries and yes she needs to have a punishment for lying . But I really would think maybe try and invite the young man over and tell him your guidelines. Perhaps through all of this your daughter may think twice about what she is getting into. Maybe even the young man will change and give his heart to God. Praying for God's wisdom in all this hugssss!

If he is muslim he may already be viewing any nonmuslim as an infidel.

The only advice I have is that in two years she will be 18 and able to leave unabated. Tread lightly.
Maybe instead of being mad at her try to understand whats going on in her head. That means listen with out intersecting. If you can even get her to talk to you.

The practice of Takia let's them lie about being Muslim if they find themselves in an area intolerant of Islam.
That's how BO got elected.Twice.

Depending on the ages and state law, the young man may back off or face the possibility of being accused of statutory rape if you try to get him to back off. His parents may be receptive to your concerns also.

I don't know about his part of Africa, but a lot of parts of the world have a cultural belief that if a man deflowers a girl, he is obligated to marry her. This shows up in the OT also.

I'm not sure if you are really in a place, emotionally, to do this, but you or someone could share the Gospel with this young man and his family. I am thinking of that verse where Joseph said what you intended for evil, God meant for good. Selling ones own brother as a slave is an awful thing, but God turned it around for the salvation of many. That was a lot more merciful scenario than what happened with Simeon, Levi, and Dinah.