The Lord God said, "it is not good for man to be alone," but...

I am... General Zod, yaw rulah...

What kind of nonsense is this?! Who do I look like, the son of Jor-El???



I don't think so, Lizard Breath. (How can you be Godzilla AND General Zod at the same time?)

#ChristopherReeveWasTheOnlySuperman

Man being alone was solved. Now we are not. We can have fellowship with our church family and if we don't want a mate we are still not alone. I don't think we can use that scripture to say that man must marry or he is alone. Look at what Paul said in 1 Cor 7 about the advantage of being single and we know that Paul did not think it was "being alone" in a negative sense. Paul was not "alone" though he was not married. When there was only one man and no one else that was alone and that was not good. That changed and now we are not alone.

I read Robinson Crusoe and there was not one mention of complaining of no women on the deserted island

The guy was there for 29 years and had a lot of guns powder and goats, he spent most of the time making cheese.

When he DID see a footprint on the sand, he got paranoid and wanted to defend himself from outsiders. Then it turns out that the when he did find someone, he just made the guy 'man friday' his slave. Typical Englishman!

Hi posthuman - Should be working but wanted to reply to you before my account is deleted. I prayed for understanding... and this morning for some reason I wanted to read your post (this specific post only). I read the first part the other day and didn't finish reading as I allowed the enemy to direct my attention to negativity. Well... I came back and read it and looked up Matthew 19:12 and wanted to say thank you for sharing the Word of God.

When I read v12, I was still confused bc I said well Jesus and Paul contradict God's Word in Genesis... so something is still not making sense and I want to understand this. Then, I read v11. NIV 11 Jesus replied, “Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given." (KJV save they to whom it is given.) So I said okay... Paul is not contradicting God in Genesis but what Paul said is confusing bc it suggested (to me) that remaining unmarried applies to everyone (only marry if you don't have self-control basically), which contradicts God's Word in Genesis. But, when I read the Scripture that you provided, Jesus clears this up. If he says "only those" to whom this word has been given can accept it, then doesn't that mean this word has not been given to everyone? So, I imagine there are those - the "only those" who Jesus mentions - who are given this word to remain unmarried and some accept it and some disobey... So I felt like I had the answer to my original question -- if God said he will make a helper, why are believers with the desire to marry still single. Maybe they have the desire bc they were given but did not accept the word to remain unmarried. Then, maybe there are those who go against God's will for not only who they should marry but also things like where they should be, etc. (like a Jonah situation)... probably some out of disobedience and some due to not being able to discern the voice of God. "And there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven," as stated in Matthew.

And, your other post about Genesis 24:14 confirmed for me that God definitely cares about who we marry -- if he appointed Rebekah for Isaac, I'm confident that the God for which all things are possible can appoint a spouse for all who desire (who have not been given the word to remain unmarried).

So... I wanted to understand why you said "man" means "Adam" and God made a helper for Adam and not all men. In Genesis KJV, God says "the" man in v18, then says Adam in later verse then switches to "a" man in v24 then back to "the" man in v25. So I questioned what this means - why switch to "a" man in v24 when saying leave father and mother and cleave to wife. Well guess what... for some reason I was prompted to go back and read ALL of Matthew 19 (not just verses 11&12 discussed above). verses 3-6 below

3 The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?

4 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,

5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?

6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

Jesus (in Matthew) literally quotes God (in Genesis). When speaking to the Pharisees, I do not believe Jesus is referring to Adam. (1) Would Jesus be discussing Adam here? (2) It says "a" man. (3) Did Adam have a father and mother to leave? So I concluded (for myself) that this applies to all who desire (who have not been given the word to remain unmarried) - he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh.

I prayed for understanding... while I still may not completely understand, I have better understanding after reading Matthew 19 (the Scripture that you shared). I am encouraged in knowing that if God made a helper for Adam ("the" man) and appointed Rebekah for Isaac, then the same God who orders the steps of a good man can do the same in the lives of those who have have faith in Him (if, of course, not given the word that they should remain unmarried). And, from my understanding of God from His Word and my experiences, I believe He would conform a person's will to His Will and remove contrary desires from the person's heart. Even if I still don't have it completely right, I am encouraged and trust that God will continue to help me to understand the things that I do not know.

Keep sharing the Word, Post. I pray that you are blessed my brother in Christ. I admit that had I not been on CC for a few days, I would not have seen your post and would not have read Matthew 19 and would not have "better" understanding (just yet). But, this is confirmation for me that when I eliminate distractions and spend time with Him, He will somehow guide me to that which I am seeking.

Well my human identity has the goatee and the middle-aged look. So there.

Freaking humans think they're so smart.

And yeah, I have the breath of a lizard, which should come as no surprise since I AM a lizard. Genius.

New International Version
The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

Genesis 2:18

New International Version
The man said, “The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.”

Genesis 3:12

"You must not marry and have sons or daughters in this place." "They will die of deadly diseases. They will not be mourned or buried but will be like refuse lying on the ground. They will perish by sword and famine, and their dead bodies will become food for the birds of the air and the beasts of the earth."

Jeremiah 16



I think the brain washing starts at schools, television, parents, and movies. Unfortunately, many people find out that marriage was a big mistake, and they pay for it, for the rest of their lives. For the minority of marriages that are genuinely happy, congratulations!

I believe being single is right for me, even though it seems the majority of people, find this to be less than. If you have embraced singleness and no longer interested in pursing a false sense of security, this message is for you. Yes, I know it's from a movie, so it's sorta of a joke. lol


I can't believe there is another relationship topic in the singles forum, it's like the first one in 3 days. New record?

Lol!
There's a lot of truth to what he said, but you always identify the possible threat. Never shoot at sound, or anything you aren't sure is trying to kill you.

Sounds like a time when I had to confront a queer druggie who approached my camp with weapon raised after midnight. I suspected trouble and found that my bright flashlight and the advantage stopped the need for any physical self defense. He was able to see the weapons even though I kept the light in his eyes.
In fact that happened on more than one occasion at two locations after midnight.. One group of predators had rifles. They seemed interested in killing me and my buddies in our sleep and taking what we had.. Fortunately they were scared off... I let them know that they were given a chance to leave on their own two feet.

Single or married, we live in perilous times.

Well, I always take what God says as verbatim. If He said it was not good for man to be alone, it must be true. So God created woman to solve what He saw was a problem. Now for a man to find their ideal woman, and vice versa, that's not necessarily an easy problem to solve, even in the church of God. It should be a lot easier than it is.

"It is not good for the man to be alone."

I can personally attest that this is fact. Lol. God Himself has no need of company or fellowship because He is perfect. However, He being perfect and without need for fellowship does have fellowship. In fact, God had fellowship before He created the angels or any of the races of 'people' He created.

God created man in His Image. God is Three Persons in One, and so He created each person to be spirit, soul, and body. Since God has no need of fellowship but is a Community Himself (Father, Son, Holy Spirit), I think the implication is clear that human beings, who are not perfect, have a greater need for fellowship and community.

When I went to college at the age of 18, I had a four-part plan that I resolved to accomplish by the time I was 30 years old (or before I turned 31). I planned to be married by 22, have two Masters degrees 24, have two or three kids by 29, and be a millionaire by 30 or before 31. I thought that by getting those four things out of the way, I was taking care of the foundational things in my life so that I could move ahead with the rest of my life. 13 years later and I haven't accomplished any of those goals due to life circumstances (which has been irritating). God seems to have bigger plans, but I still wish I'd gotten those things out of the way.

Some people are called to marry; some people will marry on their own; some people are called to not marry; and some people will not marry on their own. I'm an intensely (intensely) independent-minded person. I can live in the woods for years without any social interaction whatsoever and still be content. However, I love social interaction. Similarly, I can live life unmarried and be genuinely happy, but finding the right wife would add something to my life that I'm aware I actually need.

Finally, to your question about predestined mates, I think it's reasonable to conclude that God has indeed predestined spouses for each person (which doesn't mean they will find or ever be ready in this life for that spouse, unfortunately). God chose Eve for Adam, chose Rebekah for Isaac, and I'm sure chose many other spouses in the Bible that are not recorded for us to read. God is a matchmaker. Matchmakers match. That's what they do. In 2006, feeling free and invincible, I was caught off-guard when I went into the mountains outside Rochester, NY with some friends. I wrote a poem for my future wife (this is something that isn't natural for me). I still remember all the words of the poem today. In 2007, God assured me that He has a specific woman for me to marry. That was a long time ago, Lord. But for me, it's about intimacy and companionship ("It is not good for the man to be alone"), not anything superficial. Yes, God does have soulmates chosen. Although I suspect that He chooses soulmates only for some people and for others He allows them to choose a spouse themselves and hasn't chosen anyone specific for them.

Some of us have refused to be bound by denominational and other man-made theologies. That has meant a cost to us, in terms of having little to no fellowship and friendship with other like minded Christ followers. This is why we are single, even though we would prefer not to be.

Yes, it WAS informative, GENIUS

sheborn2x said:
(1) The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” But, every child of God who desires to be married will not get married. How do you reconcile the two?


What is a child of God? A Christian? Id have to agree with the members who stated that at the time God said that, the world population was 1. At the moment there are less Christian men than Christian women in the world so that might be one reason why.

True. But I think another reason is that because we are divided up into disparate groups aka denominations and the like that generally don't socially interact, that there may well be an eligible Christian mate at the other end of the street where we live, that we wouldn't even know exists.

Another problem is, that generally after the Saturday or Sunday Service Meetup is finished, we all disperse to our own homes. The Sunday Service is the bane of quality fellowship in more ways than one.


(2) Do you believe you have one soulmate? I do, by the way, since God knows the end from the beginning and He knew every choice we would make. He says He knew us before we were formed in the womb. I believe God cares about every detail of our lives. There are no two ppl on earth with the same fingerprints. So, why would something as important as one's spouse not be predestined?

I agree with the members who think that a soulmate is man made not God made.

I share others opinions that it can be either...God directly involved, or indirectly involved.

I had all the confidence of a 20 something year old when I told myself Im the marriage type and one day Id get married. So I got married and lived unhappily ever after. But it was a marriage not ordained by God. Thats the lesson for me.

As far as I am aware, God doesn't force us to do anything. He may well channel us in a particular direction, but our reaction to our circumstances I think will always be self determined. God certainly has built us to be different in certain ways, and we are often attracted to others that have some different and sometimes opposite personality traits and faculties to our own. I think for many of us we just botch up the marriage, it's not because it wasn't God ordained. You could probably roll that up into two major failures on one, but generally both spouses' parts...and they are 'ignorance'..a lack of knowledge and understanding on what it is to be a good spouse, and the other is 'selfishness'.

Lol I chose indifferent emoji because it was the closest to my reaction
After church ends there is fellowship in the main foyer to drink tea and catch up. I dont really do that as much as I could, I have in the past but the chat was getting repetitive so Id leave with family.
My marriage ending was for a reason that I think God would understand. I didnt ask for his blessing, I didnt get married in a church. I also married an atheist. Im not going to go into it deeper than that tho. Have you been married before Tony?

I agree with the italicized portion (and with everything else you said besides the bolded portion): it's hard to meet people when your meeting pool is restricted or limited.

As for soulmates, maybe we're too focused on the word. There are several 'pairs' in the Bible who are apparently soulmates. (My use of the word 'soulmate' right now isn't only talking about romantic relationships.)

1.) Adam and Eve were the first soulmates. This is implied from God making Eve out of a physical part of Adam and from Adam's first words when he saw Eve-- word that were not directedat Eve but were about her: "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man" (Gen. 2:23). I'm not sure how much closer two people can get.

2.) David and Jonathan were soulmates (not in the romantic sense). In 1Samuel 17, David boldly took on Goliath by himself; after he did, then Israel joined the fight. But three chapters before that, in an obscure story in 1Samuel 14, Jonathan boldly took on the same Philistines himself; after he did, then Israel joined the fight. Everyone aches for likeminded fellowship, and Jonathan was probably longing for someone who was bold like him. David showed up and defeated Goliath, and while we know that everyone loved David because of his triumph, the Bible expressly says that Jonathan, on the other hand, loved David as his own soul:

"When [David] had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. Saul took [David] that day, and would not let him go home to his father’s house anymore. Then Jonathan and David made a covenant, because [Jonathan] loved [David] as his own soul" (1Sam. 18:1-3).

Three times we're told that Jonathan's soul loved David's soul because they were 'the same soul' (ie. they both had strong faith in God and unwavering boldness, therefore, they were the same). We know their story is the most intimate friends story in the Bible.

3.) There is also another type of soulmates and that is identical twins. Theirs is also a different type of soulmate. I had an identical twin and truly know what it feels like to be literally 'knit together in soul'. It's very real, but it's just a different type of soulmate.

I shared the above just to bring awareness that the term 'soulmate' doesn't only apply romantically. But I know this thread is talking about romantic soulmates, so my belief on that is that God does create soulmates just like Jesus is coming for a perfect, pure and spotless Bride (a soulmate, a helper equal to Him, a Church that is created (and purified and refined) for Him) and not for a bride that is not [holy] like Him.

I believe we sometimes get distracted by the words that are used and might disqualify something that is legitimate because of the wording used. I used to avoid anything with the word 'prophet' in it (ie. prophetic, prophesy, prophecy, etc.) because of the misuse of the prophetic I saw all too often in charismatic circles. Some christians also disbelieve that God is Three Persons in One because the catholic church coined the word 'Trinity'. Also, New Age and occult practices like astral travel and remote viewing can make christians reject the same things when they are sanctified or when they come from God. However, in John 1:43-51, Jesus employed what the New Age and occultists call 'remote viewing': He, being in one location, 'looked in on' Philip who was in an entirely different location and saw him before Philip later came to Jesus the same day. (Philip recognized this as a miraculous thing, but the New Age and occult would just call it by their own term: 'remote viewing'.) I believe the word 'soulmate' gets a similar bad rap with some people, but the Bible shows God romantically pairing several couples, so I believe that in at least some of those is evidence of soulmating.

Man... Y'all are making my head hurt. This is getting WAY more complicated than it needs to be.

I haven't yet met a woman I want to marry. As I am a simple man with simple needs that are all being met, I see no reason to go out looking for one. Life is good, so why mess with it? If I do happen to meet such a woman and eventually marry her, yay! In the meantime life is good.

That's simple enough for me to understand.

All this junk about different people's opinions and being destined to marry someone and taking Bible verses out of context to try to prove stuff and trying to figure out who fits in the parameters of someone we should marry is way over my head. I'm gonna go make some scrambled eggs for breakfast before my head starts hurting again.

I can't understand why we get hung up on the term 'soulmates'. The only time I would find its use unpalatable is if it be used to describe a same sex/homosexual couple... Generally speaking though, it's a rather innocuous term in my opinion.

That's OK.

I'm worried that some people use the phrase 'my marriage wasn't ordained by God' as an eligibility for remarriage, and that may not be right. There may be other reasons that a person's marriage has failed of course, that as far as God is concerned would qualify them for remarriage.

Yes, I was married once. She was a Church of Englander, I was a Roman Catholic. Neither of us were Christian. Those reasons I gave for the main causes of the failure of marriages, were very much prevalent in our relationship, and by both of us, and I've seen them evident in other failed relationships too. I became a Christian in 1983, my ex divorced me in 1984 to marry the person she was having an affair with before we were separated. But in truth, I looked at other women in ways I shouldn't have, so I wasn't free from accusation. I had hoped we would be able to work out our differences, and keep our family together, but she wasn't interested. Our marriage lasted for 11 years, and we had two daughters that were 3 and 5 at the time of divorce. I've never seen them since around that time, as they prefer the company of their step father. My ex died of illness in 2000. I've remained single since the separation by her in 1982. I've taken the time over the years to look inwardly to see where I failed, and where I could improve by adopting godly attitudes and behaviour, and booting out those that aren't. That's obviously still a work in progress. 🙂

You said that God doesn't do romantic soulmates or that there is no such thing as soulmates as far as God is concerned. That's what I remember you saying, or did I misread?