What Kind of Daughter Can God Trust With One of His Sons?

I'm talking here about marriage. Earthly fathers are rarely very involved in their sons' choice of who to marry, but with God it's different.

Abraham was possibly under God's guidance to get Isaac a wife. He sent his servant to find her for Isaac. God also specifically created Eve for Adam. God is preparing an earthly Bride for Jesus. What are some qualities that God would see in a woman that would make Him happy to entrust one of His spiritual sons to her?

Beats me. I haven't found her yet.

I'll be doggone interested in what the ladies here have to say in this thread though.

Although I voted for "good character", I'm struggling a bit with this one from both a Biblical and personal perspective.

For example, after their exodus from Egypt, God entered into a covenant with the nation of Israel at Mt. Sinai which was likened to a marriage covenant:

Jeremiah chapter 31

[31] Behold, the days come, saith the LORD, that I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel, and with the house of Judah:
[32] Not according to the covenant that I made with their fathers in the day that I took them by the hand to bring them out of the land of Egypt; which my covenant they brake, although I was an husband unto them, saith the LORD:
[33] But this shall be the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel; After those days, saith the LORD, I will put my law in their inward parts, and write it in their hearts; and will be their God, and they shall be my people.
[34] And they shall teach no more every man his neighbour, and every man his brother, saying, Know the LORD: for they shall all know me, from the least of them unto the greatest of them, saith the LORD; for I will forgive their iniquity, and I will remember their sin no more.

Had Israel shown "good character" up to that point in time?

No, they had not.

In fact, God considered wiping them all out while they were still in Egypt:

Ezekiel chapter 20

[1] And it came to pass in the seventh year, in the fifth month, the tenth day of the month, that certain of the elders of Israel came to inquire of the LORD, and sat before me.
[2] Then came the word of the LORD unto me, saying,
[3] Son of man, speak unto the elders of Israel, and say unto them, Thus saith the Lord GOD; Are ye come to inquire of me? As I live, saith the Lord GOD, I will not be inquired of by you.
[4] Wilt thou judge them, son of man, wilt thou judge them? cause them to know the abominations of their fathers:
[5] And say unto them, Thus saith the Lord GOD; In the day when I chose Israel, and lifted up mine hand unto the seed of the house of Jacob, and made myself known unto them in the land of Egypt, when I lifted up mine hand unto them, saying, I am the LORD your God;
[6] In the day that I lifted up mine hand unto them, to bring them forth of the land of Egypt into a land that I had espied for them, flowing with milk and honey, which is the glory of all lands:
[7] Then said I unto them, Cast ye away every man the abominations of his eyes, and defile not yourselves with the idols of Egypt: I am the LORD your God.
[8] But they rebelled against me, and would not hearken unto me: they did not every man cast away the abominations of their eyes, neither did they forsake the idols of Egypt: then I said, I will pour out my fury upon them to accomplish my anger against them in the midst of the land of Egypt.
[9] But I wrought for my name's sake, that it should not be polluted before the heathen, among whom they were, in whose sight I made myself known unto them, in bringing them forth out of the land of Egypt.
[10] Wherefore I caused them to go forth out of the land of Egypt, and brought them into the wilderness.

Of course, God eventually did overthrow, IN HIS WRATH, 603,548 of the 603,550 Israelite men who came out of Egypt who were 20 years old and upward, and Israel has mostly played the harlot or whore against God since her inception.

With such being the case, it's hard for me to say that God chose Israel because of her "good character" because, throughout most of her history, she's basically displayed none.

When it comes to God, he seems to be totally motivated by his own love regardless of the character or attributes of the ones he is seeking to bestow the same upon.

I've testified about my own failed marriage multiple times here in the past, and, suffice it to say, my marriage greatly mirrored God's marriage to Israel, so, again, it's hard for me to say that "good character" in a woman is a prerequisite for a man to marry a wife.

When it comes to marriage, it may just be that the onus is primarily upon the man to love his wife...even if the same is never reciprocated.

That said, it would be nice to find a truly virtuous woman (Proverbs 31:10).

Hi Caleb!

First of all, I wanted to thank you for taking the time to write two threads from each gender's perspective and not just one. I really appreciate that you are looking for a balanced view.

This post isn't aimed towards you or anyone else directly -- it's mostly just me writing a few observations about some the discussions we've been having here lately in Singles.

I orignally wrote about this in the "soulmate" thread because Isaac and Rebekah were given as possible examples of God creating soulmates, since Abraham's servant Eliezer prayed to find the right woman and God led him right to her.

I think it's important when considering these topics that we keep a balanced perspective in mind. One of the things I think about as time goes by, as I see what married couples struggle with, and as I hear Christian singles talk about trying to find the absolute "ONE" that "God has for them" is that even if Isaac and Rebekah WERE soulmates, their marriage was about as troubled as it one could get.

Everyone talks about how God chose for them to be together, and maybe even made them for each other, but... It's ironic to me that when other things are mentioned like Hosea being called to marry a prostitute, or God taking Ezekiel's wife from this life in the middle of the night but he was not allowed to mourn, most will say, "Well those were Old Testament prophets and called called them to be examples." There seems to be this implication of, "That was the Old Testament -- God doesn't call people to hard situations like that anymore."

But yet, if we talk about Isaac and Rebekeh, there seems to be this thought of, "God made them as soulmates (even though this too happened in the Old Testament,) and He ABSOLUTELY MUST do the same today!!! All I have to do is find the one He made for me!" So it's kind of like... "Let's choose to believe God doesn't do certain things anymore, like call people to hard married lives... But let's believe that God makes special soulmates for one another!" So then is there then an assumption that this automatically leads to joyous, prayerful marriages?

Now this may very well be true in some cases, but why do people concentrate on the beginning of Isaac and Rebekah's story -- "God made them for each other!" and not the "look what happened" after they actually got married and were together.

If God told Isaac (or any of His sons today) before he married Rebekah, "Yes, she has good character -- she watered a stranger's camels without asking. Yes, she's beautiful. But you and her are going to favor different sons, and she is going to deceive and lie to you, causing you to miss out on most of your younger son's life, creating hatred to the point of wars between him and his brother's descendants for generations to come." Would Issac have still married Rebekah if he knew this side of her character?

If God told Rebekah (or any of his daughters today) before marrying Isaac, "Yes, he's wealthy -- so much so that his enemies envy him, and I am the the One behind his wealth. But when you need him most, he is going to desert you. Other men will notice your beauty, and when they want you for themselves, he is going to lie in order to save his own life at the cost of abusing and endangering yours." Would Rebekah still have married Isaac if she knew this side of his character?

My point, whether they were God's personal example of soulmates or not, and whatever good character they had, it sure did go out the window at various points during their marriage, leading to permanent damage both within their family and the peoples their families would create.

I chose character in the poll because it was the choice I most agreed with, but I think it's important that even the most Godly of people are often not spared the worst things that can happen, even if the people and marriage itself were chose and hand-picked by God.

The reason I'm emphasizing this so much is because if things go wrong in a marriage, the first thing other Christians will say is, "You must not have chosen someone of Godly character -- you made the wrong choice, and therefore, you can only blame yourself."

But the story of Isaac and Rebekah shows what can happen even IF you choose someone with Godly character, and not only that, are called by God to marry and possibly even made for each other.

Because of this, I can't help but wonder if the most important thing to be able to be a good husband or wife isn't just about character, but more than anything else, is really about a willingness to trust and obey God's will, no matter what happens -- even if you do find a God-given soulmate and both people make the worst choices possible and everyone suffers the fallout.

Goodness, I apologize for all the typos in my last post. I just tried to reread it and what a train wreck!

I've always wondered if I have a learning disorder because my brain seems to read things as I'm thinking it rather than what's really there. I'm going to try to work harder on that.

Anyway, I'm really interested in seeing how both of these threads progress, and my sincere thanks to anyone who slogs through my longer posts.

Exactly.

Sticking with the Old Testament patriarchs for just a moment, what about Abraham and Sarah?

Look at all the endless strife between the descendants of Ishmael, who was born of Sarah's bondwoman, Hagar, and the descendants of Isaac, who was born of Sarah herself.

And all the while, behind the scenes, God was giving an allegory of "Jerusalem which now is" and "Jerusalem which is above" (Galatians 4:21-31).

And what about Jacob?

Tricked into marrying Leah, of whom Judah was born, and from whom Christ descended, whereas Rachel, who he truly loved, stole her father's "gods" and died while giving birth to Benjamin.

Marriage is no joke.

In all honesty, I was not only a sworn eunuch for the kingdom of heaven's sake before the Lord told me to marry my now ex-wife, but she was also the type of woman that I would have never chosen to marry myself. I knew her from the Bible studies that I was teaching and she was attending, and although I saw some good fruit in her, I also saw plenty of things that basically told me to run away from such a woman. That said, I'm beyond certain that God joined us together, and I'm also beyond certain as to why our marriage ultimately failed.

Interesting observation. We want God to play Old testament Matchmaker (I can't recall one time in the New testament where God put a couple together) but we don't want any Old testament problems they faced.

I'm still hoping for a few replies from women, detailing what they think they should be when they get married.

I've seen a metric ton of opinions from men about what a woman should be, but I don't remember a lot from women about it.

haha

Hagar and Sarah
Rachel AND Leah
not to mention their handmaidens

first cousins, widows, etc. Long as they are female and not Canaanites, God was ok.

People talk about cherry-picking verses to support what they want to believe, and this just seems like a classic example.

Some people want to believe in soulmates from God -- and only God has the last say about that.

So Isaac and Rebecca are pointed out as evidence, but how many singles would honestly get married if they knew in advance what was going to happen?

You can't shine up one side while ignoring the other.

I think people want to be in God-given soulmates because they think it will also lead to a fairytale unicorn marriage.

All I'm saying is, we have to remember both sides of the coin, and honestly ask ourselves, and God, what happens if we don't get out fairytale, or if we do, and it turns into a horror story instead, because life doesn't trend towards easy roads.

Solomon must have had many soulmates....

If yall don't mind, I'd like to add my .02 worth to the conversation... It's some O/T and some Lynyrd Skynyrd.

Jeremiah 29:3-7
The letter was sent by the hand of Elasah the son of Shaphan and Gemariah the son of Hilkiah, whom Zedekiah king of Judah sent to Babylon to Nebuchadnezzar king of Babylon. It said: 4 “Thus says the Lord of hosts, the God of Israel, to all the exiles whom I have sent into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon: 5 Build houses and live in them; plant gardens and eat their produce. 6 Take wives and have sons and daughters; take wives for your sons, and give your daughters in marriage, that they may bear sons and daughters; multiply there, and do not decrease. 7 But seek the welfare of the city where I have sent you into exile, and pray to the Lord on its behalf, for in its welfare you will find your welfare.

and then there is this to consider...

Lynyrd Skynyrd ...

"Mama told me,
When I was young,
"Come sit beside me,
My only son,
And listen closely,
To what I say.
And if you do this, it'll help you some sunny day, oh, yeah.

"Oh, take your time,
Don't live too fast.
Troubles will come,
And they will pass.
Go find a woman,
And you'll find love.
And don't forget, son, there is someone up above.

"And be a simple kind of man.
Oh, be somethin' you love and understand.
Baby, be a simple kind of man.
Oh, won't you do this for me son, if you can?" ..

Sincerely,
RB

Excellent point Seoulsearch! We all know having good character is not enough to get into Heaven so why would character (or the other things mentioned) be the most important quality in a wife?

I find that many guys who say that are not an example of a truly virtuous man.

I agree with your assessment, and I certainly wasn't seeking to insinuate otherwise.

Anyhow, I'm glad that you said "many men", and not "all men".

There are some good men out there.

fairytale unicorn

You voted for "good character", so I'm assuming that it was the best option that you were given to vote on.

Out of genuine curiosity, and not to be argumentative, what do you believe is the most important quality in a wife?

If there was an option for what Seoulsearch said - a willingness to trust and obey Gods will, then Id choose that.
It is specific in the intention towards God. The others are about yourself really and dont compare imo.

It's refreshing to hear a woman (or a man) say that because, in my observations, most people are selfish, and they have no real conscience towards God or towards doing his will...especially if his will includes any amount of suffering.

The poll did not give a choice of 'showing Christian virtues'

Dont know about todays world , 60 or so years ago young women went to Bible colleges to "study" for a husband. For my grandsons accepting the fact, no one truly knows another's heart . I would pray for modest girl, yet willing to speak her mind. One lives with her parents as to honor God. In looking at what we can see, one who makes Godly things like church and family the top of her list . A girl who is willing to accept the headship of Church and husband. Would not hurt if she is pretty well well i just described my grand daughter in law !