What Kind of Husband Do You Want?

Apologies for the oversight. Some one else brought up the thread where I explained that it was a pet name because I was a tomboy when I was younger. I thought you saw it, so I thought it unnecessary to mention it again.

Yup. We're back to square one: It's still a big guessing game.

You answered him directly when he asked you.

Help the OP? Really? Have you seen any or many of his posts?

Once again you make unwarranted assumptions.

Actually, I did. Thank you for highlighting that.

This got me thinking about why I don't answer "What are you looking for?" threads very often. In this case, I think the OP has me on ignore (which is perfectly fine and I understand,) but it seemed pointless to answer a conversation I was blocked out of, so I didn't want to answer out of respect for the OP.

The other reasons I don't usually answer these types of threads are because:

1. We have so many of them on a regular basis that I want to spare people the boredom of reading my answer every time!

2. I don't know about anyone else, but I've found in the past that it seems like if you say what you like in a man, either people will argue with you over what you like (judging it to be wrong,) or men will start comparing themselves with what the women are saying and wind up feeling unnecessarily discouraged and hopeless.

Here's a good example: I've found a good friend on CC whom I really enjoy talking to about the world of finance, because it's an interesting subject I've been into my whole life, but much more seriously the past year. I never had anyone to talk to about this before except family, and it's really nice to have a friend to compare notes and research with.

Now if I were to say something like, "I'm looking for a man who knows the difference between mutual funds, index funds, and ETF's!" it's likely going to get two reactions: 1. People will tell me I'm evil for learning about such things, and 2. Men might think they have to know about those things in order to talk to a woman, and that's absolutely not true.

One of the things I appreciate about my CC friend is that he understands where I'm coming from and we both have similar motivations -- we want to use what God gave us to help other people. It's like the parable of the talents -- if God gave you a talent and you're able to expand it, you then have more to help other people with.

But everyone's talents and giftings are different, and there are a ton of things I like about my guy friends.

One is really good at tech, and what's even more of a blessing is that he knows how to teach people about it without talking down to them. I told him that if I had had teachers like him in school, I might have gone into tech as a career.

Another guy friend of mine is really blessed in business. Amazing, actually, and I enjoy hearing about his strategies on how to expand and improve what he's already doing.

I have another guy friend who speaks two languages, and I'm always asking him to spend part of the conversation speaking his other language, even though he just has to repeat everything to me again in English!

Now am I somehow looking for a guy who actually has ALL of these qualities?! It would be nearly impossible to find, and I understand that. I don't want any guy to read my posts and think, "Wow. So that's what I have to be in order to attract a woman." Not at all.

In fact, I didn't even know how much I'd like these qualities until I met men who have them, and the most attractive quality all of that these guys have in common is a Godly character. It's what makes them so hard-working and humble, and that's to me, that's ALWAYS attractive.

The truth is, I can't really stick to a "list" of what I'm looking for because God has crossed my path with awesome people with a plethora of different qualities I admire (and envy!), so my "definition" of what I "like" is ever-changing.

The way I see it, there might be some guy out there who has yet another quality I never even knew I liked until I was around him, and who knows, maybe God will hit me over the head with a holy hammer and finally tell me, "PAY CLOSE ATTENTION TO THIS ONE, Seoul!!!"

Yeah, about that... The part about "because no man is good enough" caught my eye.

I know I'm single because I'm comfortable and frankly indolent, not because "no woman is good enough" for me. If you made that claim about me, my reply would be a bit sharper than Magenta's rather mild statement.

Have you seen the OP's other thread in which he "quotes" his own interpretation of Genesis in which he states that women are "crazy" and "rebellious", and this is why they need a man to rule over them?

He has said "Goodbye" in his posts to anyone who disagrees with him, and it seems he has them on ignore, as he just reiterates his own opinion and then answers them no more. So he has a good part of the audiences from his other threads on ignore already, and won't answer them.

Any woman reading his threads is going to know that what she says is welcome only if it fits the OP's ideas of theology and the "wall" (hatred) he insists on between men and women.

It doesn't make for a very inviting atmosphere in which to answer his threads, especially if you're a female.

I haven't read too many of his posts (mostly just his opening questions and follow up questions to some of my responses), but he does seem to have a deep-rooted disregard for women.

What a mess...

You're probably right.

Like I said, I really haven't read too many of his posts.

It's kind of interesting because if one has followed his threads, his basic idea about women seems to be:

1. They are crazy and rebellious, and therefore need a man to rule over them.

2. There is an unbreakable wall of hatred between men and women that can never be broken, only coped with. As in, not even Jesus's death was strong enough to bring it down.

3. There just might be sex in heaven, so if you don't get a chance to bed a woman here on earth (because that and subduing them are apparently all they're good for), better luck on the next train! (Because all his logic and reasoning is good evidence that you might get a second chance at it.)

Le sigh.

Please, to all our Christian brothers out there -- don't be upset if we don't answer a thread from someone who is trying to promote these ideas, especially as "truth."

On the other paw... We can debunk his bunk all we want without him even knowing it.

The glass is three fifths full.

*looks at husband*

Him!!! ❤️

His elevator ain’t goin’ all the way up to the top floor. I know it’s a simple way of describing him, but his posts made my mind descend down to his level.

In all honesty, I haven't really been reading his posts. Just a few, and even those I've skimmed.

If what you're saying here is true, then I hope that you and the other women here know that I don't agree with any of those points that you've attributed to him. In other words, if he truly believes those things, then he and I are worlds apart in our beliefs concerning women.

Anyhow, I was wondering why more women weren't responding to his questions. If what you've said here is true, then I now understand why.

A God fearing man.
Loves the Lord before he loves himself and others.
Loves children.

No Im not praying for him. Im praying for myself first to work on my problems. I dont expect a man to come to me when I havent done all I can do to meet him at our best selves.

Well said, mon chérie. I've often said that myself... the part about there will be new things you discover that you like, that you don't even know about now, once you meet a new person you like.

Hopefully it becomes an additive event... rather than starting to now hate the things you used to like in people. But then again there are some things one might have been attracted to when they were younger, like disrespectful cockiness, that it's good they now can't stand. lol

I needed to look up "indolent", but I'm just too lazy bother... = p

I'm taking a vacation from this particular forum, but what you said about "loves the Lord before he loves himself and others" reminded me of a hand-made sign that I once saw while driving through Pennsylvania.

The sign read:

Jesus
Others
You

In my understanding, that's the correct order.

I want a husband that does not require me to submit to him or to take his name when we get married.

He must be able to cook and help out with house chores.

Hardworking, sense of humour, humble, and a bit of an introvert.

Stable, mature christian, must not have a history of cheating or promiscuousness.