What annoys me about people telling single Christians about dating

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Dirtman

Well-known member
Jul 19, 2022
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#61
A couple of things.

First - when I speak, I speak from the personal space of someone who was both married and then divorced under Islam, according to Islamic law, prior to being saved.

Just a small point, but Islam is contractual marriage - not covenantal as Christianity is, and my former husband caused me lifetime disability due to physical abuse.

When I remarried to a Christian man many years later, I didn't so much as hold my husbands hand prior to marriage.

I don't see my former marriage counting against my Christian marriage, as I was unsaved. My husband is a widower. His wife died of cancer many years before I met him.

So when I give advice that's where I'm coming from.

As far as encouraging youth toward marriage, I think most people do but the youth's have to meet the right person first. You can't advice anyone to marry the first person who says yes - that would lead to a poor choice if "yes" becomes the main criteria.

You have to be realistic, and give advice according to the individuals situation without exceeding the boundaries our Lord has given us.

My stepson married at 18, but they had to have tons of family support to succeed in the marriage - but they both had supportive families that could help them early on. Now they are doing great financially and otherwise.

Not everyone has the above support systems, but in many Christian homes they exist.

If you want to make a change in your local church concerning groups for the unmarried youth there - speak to the elders and see what you can do together as a church. Instead of complaining about x,y,z be the change you want to see there - just make sure to they are clear as to what your proposing.
I thank God that you escaped the abuses of an abusive man and his abusive religion. That you are now saved and are in a healthy marriage.
 

Lucy-Pevensie

Senior Member
Dec 20, 2017
9,385
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#63
Yes you do miss the time you didn't use it. If you lost your eyesight, I think you would miss it. Where are people taught to find a mate?
I'd rather have eyesight than a libido in any universe.
 

JohnB

Well-known member
Jul 31, 2022
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Calif
#64
I'd strongly advise you to read I Corinthians chapter 6 which precedes what Paul said in chapter 7.

For example:

I Corinthians chapter 6

[9] Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,
[10] Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.
[11] And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God

Paul clearly warned fornicators that they would not inherit the kingdom of God.

Furthermore, he clearly said "and such WERE some of you". In other words, they repented of their fornication unto salvation.

Which brings us to chapter 7...

I Corinthians chapter 7

[1] Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
[2] Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

Paul's words were written "to AVOID fornication".

You make it sound as if he was telling fornicators that they didn't need to repent, but to just get married instead.

That's clearly NOT what Paul said.

The Corinthians were well aware that Paul instructed them to REPENT of fornication:

II Corinthians chapter 12

[20] For I fear, lest, when I come, I shall not find you such as I would, and that I shall be found unto you such as ye would not: lest there be debates, envyings, wraths, strifes, backbitings, whisperings, swellings, tumults:
[21] And lest, when I come again, my God will humble me among you, and that I shall bewail many which have sinned already, and have not repented of the uncleanness and fornication and lasciviousness which they have committed.

Paul's answer to the issue of fornication was to get married. He didn't leave it at "stop fornicating", he tells us what to do. The purity movement put fear into even dating. Stop with the fear and give real solutions.
 

JohnB

Well-known member
Jul 31, 2022
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#65
I'd rather have eyesight than a libido in any universe.
You missed the point. The sex drive is there for a purpose, to join you to the opposite sex. It's much stronger when you're young.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#66
Im not sure what you are pushing because it would be parents responsibility to educate their young on what is acceptable behaviour and also parents supporting marriages as they would be the in laws. if they are not prepared to do that many marriages would be doomed.

If you want the church to be the 'in laws' the. you have to go about finding ways to make it easier (and cheaper) for couples to marry, like st Valentines did I suppose. Help them into their own homes? Most young couples are facing huge challenges like buying their first home as their parents arent likely to just give them a spare one. Many do not have the financial resources to do so.
 

Lucy-Pevensie

Senior Member
Dec 20, 2017
9,385
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#67
You missed the point. The sex drive is there for a purpose, to join you to the opposite sex. It's much stronger when you're young.
I can tell you for a fact that young women generally don't have a strong sex drive. Men are different.
 

oyster67

Senior Member
May 24, 2014
11,887
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#69
how did Paul handle sexual immorality in the church as compared to how some churches handle it today?
2 Corinthians 6:17
“Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you,”
 

Hazelelponi

Well-known member
Jul 8, 2019
609
397
63
USA
#70
Why doesn't it count?
1.) My ex is no longer in this country (plus he's barred from reentry)

2.) Not sure he's still alive

3.) If I could find him alive somewhere and presented myself before him claiming Christ as Lord and Savior - I'd be the next propaganda video, beheaded by ISIS on YouTube for your viewing enjoyment (so he'd not exactly accept me back as wife)

God saved me, forgave all my sins and gave me a life and family to replace those I lost.

I don't believe, nor does my husband believe, God is asking for me to die, but rather - to live. When I was saved, before God I have a clean slate.
 

JohnB

Well-known member
Jul 31, 2022
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#71
2 Corinthians 6:17
“Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you,”
Now read 2 Corinthians 6:16 "What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: “I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people.” ......Paul was referring to idol worship. Not sexual immorality.
 

oyster67

Senior Member
May 24, 2014
11,887
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#72
Paul was referring to idol worship. Not sexual immorality.
Paul was referring to sexual immorality. It is our bodies that God desires to dwell in. We are to be His temples.

1 Corinthians 6:19
“What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?”
 

SomeDisciple

Well-known member
Jul 4, 2021
2,237
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#73
Now read 2 Corinthians 6:16 "What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: “I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people.” ......Paul was referring to idol worship. Not sexual immorality.
Sexually immorality is almost always linked to idol worship, whether you realize it or not. In the case of Corinth- they had the Temple of Aphrodite right there.
 

JohnB

Well-known member
Jul 31, 2022
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#75
Sexually immorality is almost always linked to idol worship, whether you realize it or not. In the case of Corinth- they had the Temple of Aphrodite right there.
Paul was answering 2 questions. One was idol worship the other was fornication. I don't see forincators today worshipping idols.
 

Amanuensis

Well-known member
Jun 12, 2021
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#76
Paul was answering 2 questions. One was idol worship the other was fornication. I don't see forincators today worshipping idols.
The idol would be the person they are fornicating with.
 

JohnB

Well-known member
Jul 31, 2022
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#77
Paul was referring to sexual immorality. It is our bodies that God desires to dwell in. We are to be His temples.

1 Corinthians 6:19
“What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?”
In Chap 6 Paul was dealing with idol worship and fornication, which was part of the idol worship. In Chap 7 he's dealing with fornication without the idol worship. Learn to study in context. You're just pulling out verses to support your opinion.
The idol would be the person they are fornicating with.

OH PLEASE. LOL
 

Amanuensis

Well-known member
Jun 12, 2021
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#78
Paul was answering 2 questions. One was idol worship the other was fornication. I don't see forincators today worshipping idols.
They were both related. There were people within the church claiming to be believers trying to convince others that it was not a damnable sin to commit fornication with the temple prostitutes. They were also trying to convince them that joining these feasts where meats sacrificed to idols were served and this fornication took place was ok as well because idols weren't real after all.

The entire teaching and persuasion to COMPROMISE was related, coming from the same PARTY or feast in the temples that "everyone was doing" It is applicable to "It's ok to fornicate when dating because everyone does it and God knows we are weak in the flesh but we will be saved anyway"

The truth that one will go to hell who persists in this is as applicable to the temple fornicators as it is to the Saturday Night fornicators.

But everyone already knows this. I don't take anyone serious who tries to say they can fornicate and still go to heaven. They know better.

There are those who are living together and are deceiving themselves into thinking that they are not fornicators. Some of them are sincere and you know the sincere one because they are feeling really guilty and wondering if they are lying to themselves, (because they are and their conscious is telling them so) these need our help and encouragement to separate and get married if they desire. But to immediately separate and pray about the next step. Jesus first, marriage second.
 

Dirtman

Well-known member
Jul 19, 2022
1,151
441
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#79
I can tell you for a fact that young women generally don't have a strong sex drive. Men are different.
Not necessarily true even if generally true. There are some women young and old with some serious sex drive that will require an energetic man to keep up.
 

Amanuensis

Well-known member
Jun 12, 2021
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#80
In Chap 6 Paul was dealing with idol worship and fornication, which was part of the idol worship. In Chap 7 he's dealing with fornication without the idol worship. Learn to study in context. You're just pulling out verses to support your opinion.
Read any evangelical commentary on 1 Corinthians.

The eating and the fornication took place in the same temple feasting party.

Knowledge about the 1 Century Corinthian culture is helpful in understanding the background of what Paul is talking about. It was known to him and the people he was writing to, we however need a history lesson to close the 2000 year gap. There is an abundant amount of information about what these feasts were like where both the eating of the meats sacrificed to idols and the fornication with the temple prostitutes took place during the same party or festivities.

He addresses fornication with temple prostitutes before he talks about abstaining from sex in marraige or remaining single in Chapter 7 which is not the same context as the fornication issue with temple prostitutes.