What annoys me about people telling single Christians about dating

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JohnB

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There is only one faith. There is only one people of faith. They may have different personalities and different abilities but they all have 1 thing in common - they follow Christ.

They don't have to say anything because their fruit speaks volumes about their faith.

Are they perfect people? No... Certainly not - but they don't walk into situations with the express intention to sin...they walk into situations with the intent to glorify God.

Do they work jobs, hope for good wives and husbands and have personal concerns too? Of course! But always in their mind are the questions; "how would God want me to handle said situation, raise my children, treat my spouse etc?"

They are living out what they believe...

They are quite obvious in any church, because they aren't going to lie about matters that will affect another life for the remainder of it. They are trustworthy, and are quick to do what they can for others.

In a fairly short amount of time, you can decipher the difference between God's people and people who are just using the name.

You don't have to push the envelope with the physical to decipher whether someone is a liar - plenty of clues to character without going that far. If you determine a person is a liar and not trustworthy - drop them like a hot potato.
"In a fairly short amount of time, you can decipher the difference between God's people and people who are just using the name. "....so you can tell the difference between the wheat and the tares?
 

Hazelelponi

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"In a fairly short amount of time, you can decipher the difference between God's people and people who are just using the name. "....so you can tell the difference between the wheat and the tares?
Yes. You should ask God to help you learn to see.
 

tourist

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Mar 13, 2014
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Wow. You are trying too hard. Stop dating and get married already. Meet a woman tell her you are tired of games. You just want to have a good wife. Exchange disclosure statements read them and if the core values fit get married.
I did exactly that.
 

blueluna5

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Jul 30, 2018
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Many people pushing the rules for Christian dating, annoy me. They have lived their lives from their 20's to their 40's, having sex before marriage They've been married 2 or 3 times and now want to tell singles to be pure and holy before the LORD by setting up limits to dating, yet they never followed those rules themselves. They tell you to control your drives, drives they never controlled themselves. I've had Christians tell me if I even think of sex I have sinned.....the whole time I'm watching them with a spouse and 3 or 4 kids.
Well if they have 3 or 4 kids... they probably don't have time to even think of it. 😉
 

Dirtman

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Jul 19, 2022
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If you guys are committed to a biblical marriage you can fail
 

presidente

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Wow. You are trying too hard. Stop dating and get married already. Meet a woman tell her you are tired of games. You just want to have a good wife. Exchange disclosure statements read them and if the core values fit get married.
I suppose it is possible to find a woman who is that 'practical' as opposed to the romantic type. Our culture sets up certain expectations regarding romance, and there are certain social norms... and these have been exported all over the world for 100 years through film and other media.

They have a TV show where supposed experts set up people to get married. Marriages fall apart on that show because, even though they are getting married this 'practical' way, many of the people on the show bring in all these Hollywood movie ideas of love and romance, and if that isn't there, some of them go back on their commitment and dump their spouses. The experts, including a professional pastor, practically give them permission to divorce on the show.

As far as what you propose, if they are Christians, the husband is committed to love his wife and the wife is committed to submit to her husband.... if neither of them are bound by marriage or engagement to another, and their parents (or at least her parents) agree and properly participate, I don't see a problem with it.

The Bible says, "Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church...." It does not command "Husbands be in love with your wives before you get married." Proverbs say to rejoice with the wife of your youth. It is good to have loving and romantic feelings and all that, but arranged marriages have been around for thousands of years and feelings can also grow and develop over time.

I do notice the Old Testament commanded the Israelites to take wives for their sons and give your daughters to husbands. Jesus spoke of giving in marriage occurring until the eschatological events occurred that he mentioned in the Gospel. One way of interpreting some of Paul's teaching sin I Corinthians 7 is as referring to a father giving a virgin daughter in marriage. Lack of parental involvement... and recognition for the need for their approval (at least the father of a non-widowed bride if he is still alive) may be part of the reason for marriages breaking down and one of many reasons why it is so hard for some to find a spouse.
 

JohnB

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Why would ya marry someone who already has 3 or 4 kids.
The person was married and had 3 or 4 kids yet, told me a single person, it's a sin if I even think of sex.
 

Dirtman

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Jul 19, 2022
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I suppose it is possible to find a woman who is that 'practical' as opposed to the romantic type. Our culture sets up certain expectations regarding romance, and there are certain social norms... and these have been exported all over the world for 100 years through film and other media.

They have a TV show where supposed experts set up people to get married. Marriages fall apart on that show because, even though they are getting married this 'practical' way, many of the people on the show bring in all these Hollywood movie ideas of love and romance, and if that isn't there, some of them go back on their commitment and dump their spouses. The experts, including a professional pastor, practically give them permission to divorce on the show.

As far as what you propose, if they are Christians, the husband is committed to love his wife and the wife is committed to submit to her husband.... if neither of them are bound by marriage or engagement to another, and their parents (or at least her parents) agree and properly participate, I don't see a problem with it.

The Bible says, "Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church...." It does not command "Husbands be in love with your wives before you get married." Proverbs say to rejoice with the wife of your youth. It is good to have loving and romantic feelings and all that, but arranged marriages have been around for thousands of years and feelings can also grow and develop over time.

I do notice the Old Testament commanded the Israelites to take wives for their sons and give your daughters to husbands. Jesus spoke of giving in marriage occurring until the eschatological events occurred that he mentioned in the Gospel. One way of interpreting some of Paul's teaching sin I Corinthians 7 is as referring to a father giving a virgin daughter in marriage. Lack of parental involvement... and recognition for the need for their approval (at least the father of a non-widowed bride if he is still alive) may be part of the reason for marriages breaking down and one of many reasons why it is so hard for some to find a spouse.
Right .... Imagine that the queer pedos lied to the world and that their lies were destructive to the family. Niw imagine that we christians were wise and didnt fall for it.
 

Dirtman

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Jul 19, 2022
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The person was married and had 3 or 4 kids yet, told me a single person, it's a sin if I even think of sex.
I don't know what to tell you, but pietism is a bloody pox on Western evangelicalism.
Of course you're going to think about sex it's a natural driving desire built into us by God. Which is why I say to you stop dating and get married.
 

tourist

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Mar 13, 2014
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The Bible says, "Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church...." It does not command "Husbands be in love with your wives before you get married." Proverbs say to rejoice with the wife of your youth. It is good to have loving and romantic feelings and all that, but arranged marriages have been around for thousands of years and feelings can also grow and develop over time.
Of course, the bible does not command the husband to be in love with their prospective wife before they are married because that is an emotion based on feelings rather than loving your wife which is based on action. Still, loving and romantic feelings are a critical element, and intimacy too, otherwise why get married in the first place?

Lack of romance and intimacy is a recipe for a cold marriage and eventually would erode it.

The bible does state for wives to submit to their husbands but does not state that the husbands should command this. A wife is not the personal slave of the husband and expected to become a slave that must wait and serve his every whim and desire or have no say on anything of importance.

Husbands would do well to love their wives in their actions and to be in love with their wives in their emotions as well.
 

Dirtman

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Jul 19, 2022
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Still, loving and romantic feelings are a critical element, and intimacy too,
No it is not. Hollyweird queers and Disney pedos. Have lied to you. The Bible continually warms us that the heart or emotions of humans is deceitful and not to be trusted.
In the command for a man to love his wife God in his wisdom designed a perfect system. Because this level of personal investment produces emotional attachment as the relationship grows, and it will be real, not stupid mindless romantic drivel.
 

tourist

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Mar 13, 2014
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No it is not. Hollyweird queers and Disney pedos. Have lied to you. The Bible continually warms us that the heart or emotions of humans is deceitful and not to be trusted.
In the command for a man to love his wife God in his wisdom designed a perfect system. Because this level of personal investment produces emotional attachment as the relationship grows, and it will be real, not stupid mindless romantic drivel.
I hardly believe that having romantic and intimate feelings towards the wife that you love are deceitful. Personally, I enjoy the romantic and intimate feelings that my wife and I both share with each other.

There is also such a thing as discernment that the Holy Spirit will give you in certain measure if you pray for it to determine whether or not the heart or emotions is deceitful. When wisdom is applied the heart and emotions can be channeled into a positive spiritual direction pleasing to the Lord.

Anger is an emotion too, one that Jesus displayed when he got a whip and started to flip over the money changers tables in his father's house. I don't believe that the heart and emotion Jesus displayed was deceitful either. I don't trust my feelings, but I do trust God to channel my feelings in a positive spiritual direction.

Not sure what the Hollywood queers and Disney pedos reference is applicable to having a healthy loving vibrant marriage. Don't get that at all.

In what sense is a heartfelt emotional attachment to your spouse is not also deceitful and distrustful? You say that the heart and emotions are stupid mindless romantic drivel and at the same time say that applying wisdom produces an emotional attachment as the relationship grows. Makes no sense to me whatsoever. Either the heart and emotions are deceitful, or they are not. Wisdom dictates that they cannot be both at the same time.

I thought you and I were on the same page in matters of the heart and emotion in marriage. Oh well, guess that is not the case.

I think that I will surprise my wife with flowers sometime soon. It may be a stupid thing to do but she may love me for doing it. It may be drivel but that's how I roll 'em. It may also produce romantic intimate emotional feelings too that may be acted upon. It's not so bad if you think about it.

Right now I'm trending towards chocolates too. It may be stupid and mindless, but I'll take my chances,

"I'll take my chances,
I forgot how nice romance is.
I haven't been there for the longest time.'
 

JohnB

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Jul 31, 2022
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I don't know what to tell you, but pietism is a bloody pox on Western evangelicalism.
Of course you're going to think about sex it's a natural driving desire built into us by God. Which is why I say to you stop dating and get married.
Really should have done that in my 30's and 40's. It would have been much easier. I'm now 68. My biggest mistake was even listening in the church on anything about dating.
 

JohnB

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Jul 31, 2022
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Right .... Imagine that the queer pedos lied to the world and that their lies were destructive to the family. Now imagine that we christians were wise and didn't fall for it.
Many arranged marriages are loveless marriages. GOD even warned the kings not to marry for land or power.
 

Dirtman

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Jul 19, 2022
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Many arranged marriages are loveless marriages. GOD even warned the kings not to marry for land or power.
I dont see how that applies here...Dont marry for land and or power. Ok. Now what? The thing I said still applies.