Do you have a best friend here from cc?

A best friend is truly a blessing if you can find one that you are growing with spiritually.

Or do you have a tight knit circle of friends that you can group chat with?

Or even if you dont, there are enough members on here to connect with someone in a meaningful way.

Well...

I know for a fact that seoulsearch, Rod, cinder, Pipp and love_comes_softly are great people and you should hang out with them if you ever have an excuse to.

Youre not the first person to mention SS friendship. I think she has a very chilled temperament considering the replies she would get in her threads Ive seen cinder around a bit, not the others you mentioned. Are they from the original meet up group?

I was just curious because I was on other sites albeit secular and while most of us got along and were civil, there was always one or two that I just clicked with and would go to the site mostly to connect with them. But maybe members here mostly graze through the site, a cordial greeting here and there and they are more than fine with it.

And I would add Lynx to that list as well.

Hi Narrow!

Thanks very much for your kind words. The funny thing is, every keyboard I've ever owned has had almost all the characters wiped right off it -- because of how furiously I was pounding out replies! I know I often post controversial threads so I know controversial answers are part of the territory, so I try really hard to keep calm (on screen at least,) but sometimes I have a few slips. The people who know me well know that I am often anything but chill behind the scenes, but thank you! I appreciate it.

People here have often said that I seem to know a lot of people, but I have to tell anyone who is trying to make friends here, it might take a lot of work and a whole lot of time. It's definitely not spontaneous or easy. I basically gave up what some people might spend watching TV, gaming, or working on a hobby to get to know people on CC -- thousands and thousands of hours in chats, on the forums, writing threads, exchanging PM's -- so it's not by any means magical or effortless. I often take notes while reading people's messages so that I hopefully won't forget to respond to their important points.

I think a lot of people come here hoping to meet friends right off the bat but it often seems to take a lot more work than that. Of course, maybe other's experiences have been different from mine.

The site has changed a lot, too. The chat used to be very available and active, so I met a few people in real-time there. We also used to have groups of regulars here in Singles -- just picture, I'd say, around 50+ regulars at one point who were writing, posting, and replying to threads almost daily, so you'd get to know a lot of them because of how often you saw them around. These days there is so much competition for people's attention (other sites and interests) that I don't think we're able to build a rapport among the crowds like we used to.

I've also noticed that (for myself at least,) meeting people seems to come in "waves." When I came here in 2009, I hit it off with two people right off the bat -- but as time went on, we drifted. No hard feelings, just life. It wasn't until maybe 2013 when I hit another "wave" of people who seemed to enjoy bantering back and forth here, etc., and we had a small meetup in 2015.

I know most of them still keep in touch but I've fallen behind because I'm not on Facebook. That's actually been the reason why I haven't been able to keep up with many people -- I can only keep up with so many sites so I limit how many I'll join, and unfortunately, I lose track of a lot of great people who are all on different sites. So there was another wave of people that came and went.

I think it was around 2014 or 2015 that I met Lynx, Pipp, and Cinder, and eventually, we picked up a few poor unsuspecting victims along the way. It took a very long time but I've finally been able to meet them all in person, and, God-willing, I hope we all keep in touch.

As posted about earlier, we had a small meetup in early 2022, so that was the last "wave" of people I've met to date: 2009, 2015, and 2022.

It definitely wasn't immediate, and it most certainly wasn't without tons of effort on everyone's part.

I occasionally PM with a few other really, really wonderful people here as well, so someday, God-willing, there might be another meetup in the future.

But for every one friend I've met here on CC, I've had at least 30+ "false starts" over the years -- the possibilities of a friendship that didn't work out, for whatever reason.

For anyone who is trying to make friends here, please, don't give up!

Keep praying, and keep trying.

I find common ground with people on specific interests sometimes and every now and then a group chat will get going, but not for a while now. I consider some people here to be my fiends though we may rarely talk. I wouldn’t say I’ve found a best friend, but I’ve met people here who I’ve given my real name and phone number to.

I met my gf on here, so yes. 🙂

I've also got some friends on here, though I rarely interact with them much, anymore. But from time to time we'll catch up. Ironically cinder, ss and Pipp.
I'm not near as active on the site as I used to be, so I'm sure that's part of it.

Oh nice youre back!! picturing you at your laptop with steam coming out your ears now lol that made me chuckle.
Nice little insight into the day of a cc chatter SS I agree with you, it takes a lot of time and effort to even sustain friendships online, like in real life but if they run out of steam its so much easier to end it online!
I guess you are proof that men and women can be in platonic friendships, I think with my type of personality Id find that challenging.
I think I could do a meet up from cc. Maybe mel85 if she is from NZ. Have a coffee or kfc feast.
So were you here when the site started in 2009? How are you not a moderator? Or is that not your thing?
I dont do fb either. Actually Ive cut down a lot of my online activity because most of it were not genuine friendships, unfortunately even with this site you meet people who seem so fake.
I think with all the posts about people wanting love that maybe they were really looking for a best friend to love.
Anyway cc must be going through a dry spell. Not as many traffic coming through like it was back in July. And I was starting to wonder should I make a thread titled "Has anyone seen seoulsearch?!" 🤣

I find you to be a genuinely nice guy even with a name like Rumpelstiltskin Id still chat with you.

I think you are the 3rd guy then that I know of to have met someone here and started something born out of a friendship. Or the other way round. I forget 🤣🥴

Hi Narrow!

Thanks very much for asking about me -- I really appreciate it.

I might not be here as much because for several years, I haven't had a home internet plan -- I just used what was available for hotspotting on my laptop through my phone plan. But my phone plan just cut the hotspotting limit down to almost nothing, and I have to use what's allowed for "adulting" instead of chatting here.

So I've been debating on whether it's worth it to pay for a home plan or an upgrade to my phone service. We'll see. I really do need my laptop to make posts -- trying to type on my phone, even with a bluetooth keyboard, is too tedious and trying to work through small amounts of tiny print on a phone screen strains my eyes (and patience!)

I was telling Lynx, God seems to take my life through "phases" and maybe this is a sign He is trying to close, or cut back, my "CC phase", but I'm not sure.

You asked why I wasn't a moderator since I'd been here a while... I'm actually someone who would never want to be a mod, even if it paid well. I just couldn't do it. Maybe I have the wrong outlook but I see moderating as having to try to keep track of and curb other people's behavior, and I have enough trouble trying to do that for just myself.

Trying to always keep tabs on others is exactly why I'm not on Facebook, Instagram, etc. For as much conflict as I get into here because of my threads, it's actually not something I enjoy at all, but see as just something that will happen in life -- especially with the kinds of questions I like to ask.

But I tend to like to deal with conflict on my own terms and not within the confinement of representing anything or anyone else, and that means staying independent of such roles as moderation. I know that at the end of the day, all I can do is say my part and it can be considered or ignored, so I just like to leave it at that, because then everyone involved can then choose to just walk away.

I'm very grateful to the ones here who volunteer for such positions, because it's something I could never do!

Ironically, over the years I've had a few people PM me with their concerns thinking I actually WAS a moderator, but I all I could do was point them to the people here who actually ARE in charge.

This right here, this is a good encapsulation of how much effort she puts into it. She often takes flippin' notes while she's reading a post, so she won't miss a point she wants to reply to.

Thank you I agree.

Yes. It doesn't happen often, on here, but it happens. 🙂

its nice to see some posts from my neck of the woods (?!)
I cant say have 'best friends' but I feel Ive gotten to know a lot of different peeps on here. I think this singles forum is my go to one even though it has a sort of weird reputation as a dating site lol - it isnt!

I dont really do group chats but in real life I have my own circle of friends that I meet up with.

I think the tech for group chats is something I dont gel with that well and would rather take a bit of time than have a sort of online hui where everyone is talking over each other or competing for attention. (This implies there is a competition to be the 'best friend') .I dont approach online chats in that way. I just find topics that interest me and that I think are worthy of exploring. Im not here to interrogate people about their personal lives - people share what they want to share. I think there are other forums for that, that are more serious.

Though I think for online you really receive what you put in ..definitely have been blessed by others on here, encouraged, edified, and for the most part entertained.

I've met some great people from here.

And I've had the privilege of meeting some in person with others on that list!

Were you shipped with her lol

I get that, about the internet plan. I have home plan and its free thank the Lord, I also have data on my phone but I tend to use it just for GPS or for adulting as you said.
I also get what youre saying about God taking us through phases in life, I tend to get dreams which I see as God warning me about certain things even sites! and I really should listen to Him instead of being rebellious sometimes.
I dont do fb, never been on insta etc as it seemed so fake and I think it was around that time I began to wonder where are all the Christian sites. Where conflict is concerned I am getting better at resolving it like a grown up lol and that means praying for the other person who is just as flawed as me. I dont even have anyone blocked. I did on my first week, then chose to unblock them like I told you, I thought they might have something useful to say about other things and it did turn out that way.

She must have a whole novel on you Lynx 🤣

You know your location made me think today as I was going through this Grabone site we have in NZ. I was thinking if CC had members travelling to NZ I could help them out in some way if they passed through my city...Christian hospitality...