Daughter Following the Wrong Path

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GardenofWeeden

Well-known member
Jul 27, 2018
411
370
63
The Garden of Weeden
#21
yes, one guy first responded...
"How did you get away with that!" Then he reread it, I struggled to find a handle, now wish I had taken a little more time or capitalized it.
Seems if we invest in something, we get more out of it, and we know " the workman is worthy of his hire" they go the extra mile to keep it going I am sure.
bless you sister
Eh, most people think my name refers to marijuana, and get all offended I would use it in a Christian site. People are so funny.
 

shittim

Senior Member
Dec 16, 2016
13,808
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#22
That IS funny!
I have weeded many gardens, so after seeing "garden" my next thought went to "weeding"! lol!
bless you sister
 

GardenofWeeden

Well-known member
Jul 27, 2018
411
370
63
The Garden of Weeden
#23
That IS funny!
I have weeded many gardens, so after seeing "garden" my next thought went to "weeding"! lol!
bless you sister
That is exactly to what it refers lol We used to tell people we moved to our own little piece of Heaven on Earth, and Heaven on Earth comes complete with weeds that will not die, animals that would rather eat me than look at me, and BUGS the size of my face!. From there the Garden of Weeden was born. I have a sign for my garden fence and everything. :)
 

shittim

Senior Member
Dec 16, 2016
13,808
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#24
Precious! Bless you and your whole house, sister
 

HealthAndHappiness

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2022
10,309
4,356
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Almost Heaven West Virginia
#27
There are advantages since wood has been taking up minerals for years. The microbes are a key ingredient too. They benefit plant growth as well as break it down to soil. I have raised beds that cut down on weeding.
The only thing that concerns me are termites.
 

shittim

Senior Member
Dec 16, 2016
13,808
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#28
I would be no more concerned with termites in a mass like that than I am now, they would help breakdown the wood as well and have their own natural predators.
 

HealthAndHappiness

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2022
10,309
4,356
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Almost Heaven West Virginia
#29
I would be no more concerned with termites in a mass like that than I am now, they would help breakdown the wood as well and have their own natural predators.
The location of my garden only 30 feet from my house is the concern. If I cut down a great big maple tree, I can have sun a little further.
 
Apr 21, 2021
6
3
3
Texas, USA
#30
Thank you all so much for the overwhelming response, I've been gone for a while. I took into account all of these advices and comments. I had a talk with my daughter and I won't lie, it was hard a first we fought a lot and right now I think we're onto a good path of getting back on good terms. She admitted to me not only did she have sex, she also did things like drink alcohol and smoke weed. I was immensely disappointed and that's what made our fights more frequent. I lost a lot of trust in her. She and the muslim boy are still together, I tried to get her to break up with him but she didn't want too. My husband and I are trying to be more understanding for their relationship. I don't know if it's a good idea but we met the boy and had dinner with him just to get to know him. He seems like a nice and polite boy, but I just can't shake the fact that he's from a religion that advocates for violence and abuse. I have also met his mother, she wears a hijab which just made me feel weird, we met during a school gala night. I didn't chat with her for long. My daughter still hasn't come back to church on a regular basis. She came once because I had to beg her to. Right now, we're slowly getting back on good terms, she's listening to me more, I've began to let her boyfriend come over but only if they stay in the living room and when I'm home. I know they're still intimate with each other but I'm trying to be more understanding, it's just hard...
 

presidente

Senior Member
May 29, 2013
9,164
1,794
113
#31
Thank you all so much for the overwhelming response, I've been gone for a while. I took into account all of these advices and comments. I had a talk with my daughter and I won't lie, it was hard a first we fought a lot and right now I think we're onto a good path of getting back on good terms. She admitted to me not only did she have sex, she also did things like drink alcohol and smoke weed. I was immensely disappointed and that's what made our fights more frequent. I lost a lot of trust in her. She and the muslim boy are still together, I tried to get her to break up with him but she didn't want too. My husband and I are trying to be more understanding for their relationship. I don't know if it's a good idea but we met the boy and had dinner with him just to get to know him. He seems like a nice and polite boy, but I just can't shake the fact that he's from a religion that advocates for violence and abuse. I have also met his mother, she wears a hijab which just made me feel weird, we met during a school gala night. I didn't chat with her for long. My daughter still hasn't come back to church on a regular basis. She came once because I had to beg her to. Right now, we're slowly getting back on good terms, she's listening to me more, I've began to let her boyfriend come over but only if they stay in the living room and when I'm home. I know they're still intimate with each other but I'm trying to be more understanding, it's just hard...
If you wanted to stop the sex part, you could tell the Muslim boy's parents. That might work.
 
Apr 21, 2021
6
3
3
Texas, USA
#32
If you wanted to stop the sex part, you could tell the Muslim boy's parents. That might work.
I have thought about this but I also have a feeling they know too but they don't really mind. She's at their house quite a bit and from what I've seen his parents are pretty open. I also found out the father is French-Algerian which means he's probably okay with everything. I'm just a bit nervous to talk to them. I was planning on maybe having a dinner with the parents but I'm not interested in forming any connections with them.
 

shittim

Senior Member
Dec 16, 2016
13,808
7,785
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#33
If they are muslim they see her as an infidel, you too, and they are not bound by the moral regulations a Christian is.
 

GiveThanks

God Will Make A Way
Dec 6, 2020
429
347
63
#34
I know they're still intimate with each other but I'm trying to be more understanding, it's just hard...
There is nothing there for you to understand or accept. Your husband and yourself are too soft.

At the end of the day, if she is determined to do as she pleases you can't stop her, but outline the consequences.

You shoud never, never accept their relationship. The boy is not nice and polite. He is only putting on a show for you because he knows you are soft.

They are kids, and they have no business having sex. The boy well knows this, but does not care.

You should have a meeting with the parents, and let them know you are angry that their boy is having sex with your child, and you do not want them together because of their different beliefs.

The parents of the boy wont want to be bothered with you, and they will then tell their son to stay away from yours.

You should also let the parents know that in the event that your daughter becomes pregnant, they and their boy will have to take up that responsibility.
 

HealthAndHappiness

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2022
10,309
4,356
113
Almost Heaven West Virginia
#35
Hi! I've already posted this on Christianforums, but I wanted as much advice as I could get and hear different voices on what I should do: so, I’m a mother of 3 and I have a 16 (turning 17 in a few weeks time) year old daughter. I’ve always taught my kids and brought them up with strong Christian values: teaching them between wrong and right and important lessons from the Bible. My husband, two kids, I go to church every day but my daughter hasn’t been going neither has she been going to youth group (I found out she had been lying to me about youth group). I recently found out she’s been seeing a boy, a Muslim Algerian Arab boy for that matter. She’s been sneaking off to be with him and lying about being at sleepovers and after school activities to spend time with him. I found out from certain people that they’ve been seeing each other of a while and they’ve even been having a sexual relationship. This made me furious since we taught all my kids about remaining chaste, the dangers of temptation, and basic Sex Ed. After find this out I did a sweep of her room and found birth control pills hidden and a condom wrapper shoved in her period case!!!! I’m fuming even writing this, I don’t think I can look at my little girl the same way. I’m worried she’s frequenting a Muslim in an intimate and emotional way. I’m worried she’ll lose what’s left of her Christian faith, what if she converts to Islam or even gets pregnant with a child who would grow up in a non-Christian environment. I’m scared this Muslim boy is going to give her ideas that throw her fathers and I’s values out of the window. What should I do? I can’t believe this is happening, I feel so lost, my husband thinks we should send her away so she can be far from that boy but there’s always communication through social media. What should I do, I’m worried for my daughter.
If you get your husband on here, I will have a discussion with him. Just make sure I'm notified by a direct response. I will be busy this weekend and might not get a chance to reply until Monday.
I'm not looking to argue. It just sounds like you have a desperate situation that you all may regret for a long time.

Take care,

H&H
 

presidente

Senior Member
May 29, 2013
9,164
1,794
113
#36
You should also let the parents know that in the event that your daughter becomes pregnant, they and their boy will have to take up that responsibility.
"We'll take care of the baby and raise him or her as a Christian, and we do not know if you can be in the child's life" might have more affect, though in some cultures, grandparents might have more pressure not to be in the life of a child born out of wedlock.
 

presidente

Senior Member
May 29, 2013
9,164
1,794
113
#37
@candersenlo

Most Muslims aren't blowing up buildings. You might think of their religion as endorsing violence and oppression. But many Muslims think of the US, supposedly a (formerly) majority Christian nation. It exports porn all over the world. Women dress in scanty clothes. The US invades countries as it sees fit, and its government promotes acceptance of homosexuality as normal, and now this trans agenda.

I spent about 12 years in Indonesia. My impression is that most Indonesian Muslims think suicide bombing is crazy.

I have some Muslim in-laws. I am not sure what my mother-in-law is. She was raised Muslim, got baptized, later went back to Islam. She expressed an interest in following Christ when she visited us a few years back when we were over there. I think she still dresses with the head covering like most women in her city, at least her age. I don't see a problem with women wearing headdresses. Some Christians do in Muslim countries, not so much in Indonesia. It beats high skirts and low blouses. Some of the Christian women we read about in the Bible probably wore head coverings.

I have a sister-in-law raised Christian (complicated family history) who married a man from a special province of Indonesia that has Islamic law. I wasn't in Indonesia at the time, but I heard the man converted, got baptized, but they went to live up there. The wife now wears a head covering and the kids are taught Islam, rather than Christianity. I saw her and her child at a funeral. I don't think I've ever seen the husband even on a video chat.

According to Muslim teaching, their men may marry women who are Muslim, Christian, or Jewish. But they have to raise the children Muslim. He may be laid back about religion now. A laid back Muslim, about religion, would probably be easier to live with. But the downside is, he may not be very serious about God. But if He gets serious, then what? Does he become a radical Muslim? This is the storyline to a movie I saw once, "Not Without My Daughter" where the American woman Sally Fields plays ends up in Iran during the revolution, forced to wear a veil and required to study the Al-Qur'an.

You can put your foot down with your daughter as best you can. No cash. No car. You monitor her movements. You could also try to win this boy and his family to Christ. Then there is also your own daughter who needs to repent and follow Christ.

I've got four kids. None of them are wild. From the time the oldest was two, about every night, we've had some kind of Bible study. I started with a Bible story book, while my energetic son tried to touch the pages, and would tear them if we weren't careful. We usually read through a passage just about every night. I told my kids no dating until they were old enough to get married. One of my older teens got a Valentine from a boy, who is actually a Christian who loves Christ. We have him over at a Bible study. We let them got to a dance and a few events as 'friends' with some rules and restrictions, no kissing, etc.. He seems very respectful of the whole thing. They don't go off by themselves. Other people are around.

From our nightly Bible studies, and talking with the kids, it does seem like some values are embedded in them. Faith in Christ, not denying their faith, no sex before marriage, etc.
 

shittim

Senior Member
Dec 16, 2016
13,808
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#38
Of course we all here know that the is only ONE way to heaven, through the atonement of Jesus Christ.
 
Apr 21, 2021
6
3
3
Texas, USA
#39
Update. I had dinner with his family yesterday, I asked my daughter to give me her boyfriends mothers number and they accepted to come over for dinner. To be respectful, I made prepared a meal that is halal for them. It was an interesting dinner. But, overall, my husband and I told them how we felt about their relationship. We didn't mention religion as one of the problems, but we said she was too young and we wanted her to focus on school and church and we didn't feel comfortable with her dating and having sex yet. Their response was quite surprising to me. First of all, they knew about the two dating from the moment it started. Apparently, he liked her and then asked her out. We got mad at them for not informing us about it and the parents apologized to us and explained they were worried and thought it would be better if our daughter was the one to tell us. They then told us, they didn't have a problem with the relationship and they weren't strict parents and are and I quote: 'we prefer to let out children experience things for themselves without us helicopter parenting them'. They told us they lived in Geneva and Paris (I thought only the dad was born in France but his mother grew up there as well) before moving to the US and they let their kids drink responsibly upon turning 16 and allow weed, but smoking cigs to them is haram. To me, they just seem crazy Muslims who were have western European views on adolescence. We told them we simply didn't feel comfortable with the idea that they're sexually active and we wanted them to stop because they're too young. The parents agreed that they would talk to their son but they weren't going to pressure them to break up. That whole conversation just made the dinner incredibly awkward and definitely made things worse with my daughter. The boy's parents told the boy about our conversation who then told my daughter: and now she's furious at us for talking to them about her and her boyfriends sexual relationship. She's barely 17. My husband and I decided enough was enough and even brought her to church this morning, which she was angry about but right now, I couldn't care less. We even grounded her again, she's not allowed to stay after-school and her phone gets confiscated as soon as she steps foot into our house. My husband and I even agreed on bringing her to youth group, we're going to tell the youth group leader to keep his eye on her and waiting for her inside the car, making sure she doesn't go anywhere.

I feel like I'm losing control of my kids, even my second child (15 year old son) has began watching shows that we don't allow in the house like Euphoria, RuPaul's Drag Race and Sex Ed, and also installing apps like Tiktok and Snapchat so we confiscated his electronics.
 

shittim

Senior Member
Dec 16, 2016
13,808
7,785
113
#40
Just had a great teaching at jglm.org 2nd service today 10-09-22, on maturity, spirit, soul, body, looks like this spiritually immature muslim is enticing a spiritually immature daughter with what to God is the wrong way.
Reacting in anger is immaturity, I am thankful you know the right way, I know I will continue in prayer for you all.
blessings and many thanks for the update.