Don’t quickly fall in love

Is your marriage going well? Are you still in Vietnam?

Is your marriage going well? Are you still in Vietnam?

Don't say I love you too soon
Late nights, holding hands
And staring at the moon
A moment in lights
Your feelings can lie
So don't say I love you
Don't say I love you too
Don't say I love you too soon

Unfortunately, or fortunately perhaps, my required documents for marriage in Vietnam expired after about a month of being there. So I didn’t get married. I taught English for 4 months then came back to the USA.

What seems to have started all of this is when I accidentally wrecked my car. After that my mother has more or less removed herself from my life and my fiancé broke up with me in no uncertain terms. Alone and confused, I struggled to make sense of it all. Friday my ex suddenly started talking to me again then today she informed me she did it to make me stronger. I am not 100% sure because her English isn't always precise, but I interpreted what she said to mean that her and my mother possibly colluded to do this.

Well, it did make me stronger, but as of today I don't need anyone now. When I am in danger, need help, need someone to talk to, need commitment, I won't dare call on them. She seems to have realized her plan backfired even though she was clearly attempting to sweet talk me again. What she doesn't realize is that a lot happened in my heart and mind in what I want to call The One Week of Abandonment; I'm a changed man.

If there's anything for her and I going forward, it will involve her taking a hard 3rd or 4th place in my life with God being my top priority and other things being more certain. Perhaps I needed this reset. Over dinner I've been reflecting on several things that have come out of all of this and I'm grateful for those things.

I earnestly feel for you and the pain of your experience is still evident from your posts. And it sounds as if more healing is necessary before embarking on another relationship. But when you feel you are ready you should know that your relationship with your spouse should be secondary to only your relationship with God. If it isn't, your marriage will suffer.
Perhaps, until this is so, focusing strictly on a relationship with God is wise.
I take the time to write these things to you for your benefit and as someone who wishes someone had done so for me.
Will be praying for you.

Just a bit of the drama in my personal life. I don’t normally openly share many personal details about what I go through though. I feel like this experience is a milestone in my life and maybe it can help others too.

If people are like me, though, then I never really comprehended the gravity of something until I experienced it myself.

I am hoping people can play it safer than me and learn from the experience of other people rather than experiencing failures themselves.

That’s definitely on my radar now. When people talk about something difficult they went through, I’m paying careful attention.

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What seems to have started all of this is when I accidentally wrecked my car. .

My car got wrecked too in a windstorm a few months ago. Part of a tree fell on the roof and crushed it. Things were very unsettling for a quite a few weeks dealing with tree removal, insurance adjuster, car rental agency, and a car dealership.

Fortunately, we got a real good settlement and was able to buy a nice car two years younger that the last one with low miles. Smaller though but still better than walking to work.

Sorry about all of your difficulties. I believe the saying is true in that what doesn't kill us can only make us stronger. I pray that this is true for you as well.

sorry to hear about the windstorm. There was one here in late May. Saw your profile says TN, that’s where I am too. Could have been the same one?

It’s like what doesn’t kill someone makes them stronger, but at the same time life doesn’t necessarily get easier either. The economy of life requires more strength sometimes and if there is inflation then the value of our strength diminishes.

Just is how it is.

You might find the book of Habakkuk helpful for trying times.

I don't recall if I have ever read it, but i'll check it out now and see what it says.

And if you ever care to discuss it, just let me know.

Okay it’s time for real talk.

Don’t quickly fall in love with anyone because in the end the only ones you may have to depend on are yourself and God.

People may say all sorts of things, throw around the words love, forever, for better or worse, and maybe they truly intended them, but they can’t actually guarantee them. “Until death do us part” is the only thing that’s a certainty in a relationship, romantic or otherwise.

If you fall down, there may be no hands to lift you up other than the ones God gave you and God Himself, who is eternal, and promised to never leave us or forsake us.

You may be wondering, “who hurt you?” Well, let’s just say I learned this the hard way.

Today I suddenly realized I had been living in a fantasy world where I could distribute some of my inner strength among people who claimed to love me. If I fell I had a safety net, so to speak. It took about a week for this realization to fully sink in.

After having been humbled and standing up again, I don’t feel like I need anyone. I guess that’s where God wanted me, but the process is a painful one.

I learned that claims of everlasting love from people aren’t a guarantee despite their initial sentiments. People change, but God never changes.

Now my eyes are clear of this previous shortsightedness. I’ll refocus my attention back to the One who is faithful even when we are not.

So do not quickly fall in love. If you do fall in love, temper it with making God your first love, and season it with a grain of salt. Know that in the end the only ones you may have are God, yourself, and the only thing that is certain is “until death do is part.”

I'm listening to it in audio format. If I have any questions I might ping you here or create a BDF thread on it later.

https://biblehub.com/audio/chapter/habakkuk/1.htm

That may be hard for us men bro as studies show that us men do fall in love faster than women. One study shows that it only takes 8 seconds for a man to fall in love.....LOL Maybe they should stop making videos and conversations on social media saying men never want to commit and start asking why do women not fall in love and want to commit as fast as men do............LOL

sorry to hear about the windstorm. There was one here in late May. Saw your profile says TN, that’s where I am too. Could have been the same one?

It’s like what doesn’t kill someone makes them stronger, but at the same time life doesn’t necessarily get easier either. The economy of life requires more strength sometimes and if there is inflation then the value of our strength diminishes.

Just is how it is.