Divorce

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Dino246

Senior Member
Jun 30, 2015
24,783
13,414
113
#21
Hello, I am new here. My husband is divorcing me. I am devastated and seeking not to rely on my own understanding and to allow God to transform me and comfort my broken heart. Do you have any suggestions on what I need to study in the bible to help me with this divorce? I do not want a divorce however it is really happening because my husband has left me and moved on. No sign of reconciliation as of now.
Hello, welcome, and my condolences. I would encourage you to sign up for the daily devotional from DivorceCare.org. I found it helpful and encouraging after my divorce. Also, you might find the Singles forum here relatively safe.
 

ZNP

Well-known member
Sep 14, 2020
32,294
5,669
113
#22
Hello, I am new here. My husband is divorcing me. I am devastated and seeking not to rely on my own understanding and to allow God to transform me and comfort my broken heart. Do you have any suggestions on what I need to study in the bible to help me with this divorce? I do not want a divorce however it is really happening because my husband has left me and moved on. No sign of reconciliation as of now.
1Corinthians 7:15 Yet if the unbelieving departeth, let him depart: the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us in peace.

Our goal as believers should be reconciliation, but if the unbelieving spouse chooses to depart then let him depart, you are not in bondage.


I would encourage spending more time in the word everyday, at the very least working up to an hour a day if you are not doing that already. The Lord is your husband and He will comfort your heart and He is the incarnated word of God. Spend time with Him in the word.
 

JohnDB

Well-known member
Jan 16, 2021
5,697
2,230
113
#23
Divorce is abuse.
Marriages are covenants. Covenants are not to be broken.


Matthew 19:6
“Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
I forgot it's in Matthew....I'm going to have to look at it again.
 

ZNP

Well-known member
Sep 14, 2020
32,294
5,669
113
#24
Divorce is abuse.
Marriages are covenants. Covenants are not to be broken.


Matthew 19:6
“Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
What about Matthew 19:9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and he that marrieth her when she is put away committeth adultery.

We are living in a time of AIDS and venereal diseases that could leave your children orphans.

Again, as a Christian we should be looking for reconciliation and restoration. But you are not held in slavery by an unbelieving spouse. Use common sense, if the spouse is abusive and beating you leave immediately, go to the church and let the elders help you mediate the situation.

Yes the two are one flesh, one body. So then what about

Matthew 5:29 And if thy right eye causeth thee to stumble, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not thy whole body be cast into hell. 30 And if thy right hand causeth thee to stumble, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not thy whole body go into hell. 31 It was said also, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: 32 but I say unto you, that every one that putteth away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, maketh her an adulteress: and whosoever shall marry her when she is put away committeth adultery.

No one wants to amputate a limb, but sometimes it is necessary. The context of these verses is divorce. When you get divorced it is like an amputation. However, it is possible that one member will go to life and the other to hell.
 

oyster67

Senior Member
May 24, 2014
11,887
8,701
113
#25
What about Matthew 19:9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and he that marrieth her when she is put away committeth adultery.
Yes, what about it?

We are living in a time of AIDS and venereal diseases that could leave your children orphans.
God's Word does not change with the times.

Use common sense
Is that what Abraham and the prophets did?
Joshua 24:15
“And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.”

No one wants to amputate a limb, but sometimes it is necessary.
Going against God's Word is neither necessary nor wise. We are talking about marriage partners and covenants, not limbs. You stay with your partner in the hope that they may eventually come to the light that they see in you.

1 Corinthians 7:
10And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: 11But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. 12But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. 13And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. 14For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. 15But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. 16For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?
 

ZNP

Well-known member
Sep 14, 2020
32,294
5,669
113
#26
Yes, what about it?


God's Word does not change with the times.


Is that what Abraham and the prophets did?
Joshua 24:15
“And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.”


Going against God's Word is neither necessary nor wise. We are talking about marriage partners and covenants, not limbs. You stay with your partner in the hope that they may eventually come to the light that they see in you.

1 Corinthians 7:
10And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: 11But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. 12But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. 13And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. 14For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. 15But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. 16For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?
So the woman's husband is divorcing her, and all you have is condemnation? We cannot go against the word of God and the word of God is very clear, she is not under bondage. If he chooses to divorce her Paul says to let him go.
 

oyster67

Senior Member
May 24, 2014
11,887
8,701
113
#27
So the woman's husband is divorcing her, and all you have is condemnation?
A friend is one who shares the truth in love. An enemy is one who feeds sugar coated lies.
 

ZNP

Well-known member
Sep 14, 2020
32,294
5,669
113
#28
A friend is one who shares the truth in love. An enemy is one who feeds sugar coated lies.
I quoted Paul and Jesus, are you saying one was lying?
 

oyster67

Senior Member
May 24, 2014
11,887
8,701
113
#29
I quoted Paul and Jesus, are you saying one was lying?
I hate to break the bad news, but I was not referring to Paul or Jesus (but I think you already knew that :)).
Paul and Jesus are telling the truth. It is I, not you, who has been quoting them.
 

ZNP

Well-known member
Sep 14, 2020
32,294
5,669
113
#30
I hate to break the bad news, but I was not referring to Paul or Jesus (but I think you already knew that :)).
Paul and Jesus are telling the truth. It is I, not you, who has been quoting them.
Jesus:

Matthew 5:29 And if thy right eye causeth thee to stumble, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not thy whole body be cast into hell. 30 And if thy right hand causeth thee to stumble, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not thy whole body go into hell. 31 It was said also, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: 32 but I say unto you, that every one that putteth away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, maketh her an adulteress: and whosoever shall marry her when she is put away committeth adultery.

Paul

1Corinthians 7:15 Yet if the unbelieving departeth, let him depart: the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us in peace.
 

ZNP

Well-known member
Sep 14, 2020
32,294
5,669
113
#31
I hate to break the bad news, but I was not referring to Paul or Jesus (but I think you already knew that :)).
Paul and Jesus are telling the truth. It is I, not you, who has been quoting them.
So besides "condemning this sister in love" because "you speak the truth", what is she supposed to do?
 

ZNP

Well-known member
Sep 14, 2020
32,294
5,669
113
#32
So besides "condemning this sister in love" because "you speak the truth", what is she supposed to do?
While we all wait for the Oyster to give us his pearls of wisdom I would encourage our sister to pray:

Dear Heavenly Father:

We ask you to forgive our sins and the sins of our family. You are the crucified one, the one who was despised and rejected, so we will also go without the camp and bear your disgrace.

We put on our full armor of God, the helmet of salvation, breastplate of righteousness, loins of the truth and the feet of the gospel. We pick up the shield of faith and the sword of the spirit which is the Word of God.

We ask you to place your ministering, protecting, and guardian angels all around us, our family, our finances, our possessions so that no harm or evil would befall us.

We plead the blood of Jesus over our body, soul, spirit, mind, subconscious, subliminal areas and all communications coming to, from, around and concerning us.

We ask you to lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil and doing evil, keep your hand upon us, enlarge our coasts and ministries and bless us indeed.

Help us to walk in your agape love, joy and peace; long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness and temperance.

Let us hear your VOICE, be clothed in your humility. Give us wisdom and help us make 100% correct decisions today.

We cast off all attacks spiritual and non-spiritual, legal and non-legal.

We cast off spirits of scorpion, Jezebel, infirmity, strife, anger, bad reputation/credit for us.

In the Name of Jesus, I cast off all attacks from all evil, including all authorities. I ask that you place your ministering, protecting and guardian angels around us.

In Jesus Name, the redeemer, the one who turns water to wine, who takes the broken and restores them, may we know you as the savior, Amen

Scriptural Declarations!​
We plead together: and declare that we are justified by Your Word and Blood. (Isaiah 43:26)

No weapon that is formed against us shall prosper; and every tongue that rises against us in judgment we condemn. (Isaiah 54:17)

We “shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the LORD.” (Psalms 118:17)

So Lord we lay all that we are at your feet, we give you our life and all that we are.

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: A broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.

Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: According to the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions.
 

Tararose

Well-known member
Sep 30, 2020
753
563
93
Uk
www.101christiansocialnetwork.com
#33
All you can do now is pray my dear.
Pray for your husband to repent, and in the meanwhile try and live at peace, especially not rushing into any new relationship while you are still legally married.

it is horrible to have to get divorced, and to be divorced. No one wants that in life, and God does not want it for us either. However, people sin, and God certainly hates sin. Yet they go on sinning, even we believers fall short there.
God didn't want to offer us the option to divorce, but rather He gave us divorce as a last resort when our spouse refuses to be faithful, to legally get us out of the relationship they already broke through unfaithfulness. To release the innocent party so they didn't have to suffer indefinitely with an unfaithful spouse in a broken relationship. He wishes it did not have to be so. And most of all He hates that it is often used by the guilty party to go and sin more freely as it were, and in such cases used to punish the innocent party.

There is nothing to be confused about God hating divorce. It isn't a sin to divorce or to be divorced.

Divorce itself is not a sin, after all God introduced it through Moses, because of man's sin.

God says that He Himself initiated a Divorce, because of man's sin.
Jer 3 v 8
And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah feared not, but went and played the harlot also.

He used it there in reference to His own just actions, because of His peoples unfaithfulness.

If you have not, and do not commit adultery, (or somehow driven your husband to despair where he had no choice but to go away,) the sin is entirely on your husbands head if he divorces you.

If the worst does happen, and he divorces you, if at anytime during or after the divorce, he remarries or enters into another relationship, then he has committed adultery. That is clear biblical grounds for you to divorce him at that point, just as God initiated divorce on his unfaithful "spouse".

By then, your husband may have saved you the trouble of initiating a divorce by wrongfully doing so himself, but either way you would then be rightly divorced from your adulterous spouse, and thus entirely innocent and free to remarry.

Hoping that it wont end this way, and that your husband repents and returns to reconcile. God bless your hurting heart.
Remember when we are abandoned, God is not mad at us, he weeps with those who weep x Much love and no condemnation to you sister
 
Feb 19, 2023
9
7
3
#34
All you can do now is pray my dear.
Pray for your husband to repent, and in the meanwhile try and live at peace, especially not rushing into any new relationship while you are still legally married.

it is horrible to have to get divorced, and to be divorced. No one wants that in life, and God does not want it for us either. However, people sin, and God certainly hates sin. Yet they go on sinning, even we believers fall short there.
God didn't want to offer us the option to divorce, but rather He gave us divorce as a last resort when our spouse refuses to be faithful, to legally get us out of the relationship they already broke through unfaithfulness. To release the innocent party so they didn't have to suffer indefinitely with an unfaithful spouse in a broken relationship. He wishes it did not have to be so. And most of all He hates that it is often used by the guilty party to go and sin more freely as it were, and in such cases used to punish the innocent party.

There is nothing to be confused about God hating divorce. It isn't a sin to divorce or to be divorced.

Divorce itself is not a sin, after all God introduced it through Moses, because of man's sin.

God says that He Himself initiated a Divorce, because of man's sin.
Jer 3 v 8
And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah feared not, but went and played the harlot also.

He used it there in reference to His own just actions, because of His peoples unfaithfulness.

If you have not, and do not commit adultery, (or somehow driven your husband to despair where he had no choice but to go away,) the sin is entirely on your husbands head if he divorces you.

If the worst does happen, and he divorces you, if at anytime during or after the divorce, he remarries or enters into another relationship, then he has committed adultery. That is clear biblical grounds for you to divorce him at that point, just as God initiated divorce on his unfaithful "spouse".

By then, your husband may have saved you the trouble of initiating a divorce by wrongfully doing so himself, but either way you would then be rightly divorced from your adulterous spouse, and thus entirely innocent and free to remarry.

Hoping that it wont end this way, and that your husband repents and returns to reconcile. God bless your hurting heart.
Remember when we are abandoned, God is not mad at us, he weeps with those who weep x Much love and no condemnation to you sister
Oh, thank you so much! This was very comforting and makes perfect sense. Thank you for letting God use you to help me today.
 

Shikina

New member
Apr 28, 2023
15
11
3
#36
Hello, I am new here. My husband is divorcing me. I am devastated and seeking not to rely on my own understanding and to allow God to transform me and comfort my broken heart. Do you have any suggestions on what I need to study in the bible to help me with this divorce? I do not want a divorce however it is really happening because my husband has left me and moved on. No sign of reconciliation as of now.
 

Shikina

New member
Apr 28, 2023
15
11
3
#37
Oh, thank you so much! This was very comforting and makes perfect sense. Thank you for letting God use you to help me today.
Hello, I am new here. My husband is divorcing me. I am devastated and seeking not to rely on my own understanding and to allow God to transform me and comfort my broken heart. Do you have any suggestions on what I need to study in the bible to help me with this divorce? I do not want a divorce however it is really happening because my husband has left me and moved on. No sign of reconciliation as of now.
Hello to you.... I just posted a thread about the loneliness in this world today. I plead The Blood of Jesus over your heart and pray that you will endure. I can very much relate. Peoples hearts are waxing cold....as The Word tells us in this time. Sometimes I wonder if Christ is now separating the sheep from the goats. I can also say that The Word tells us, by Apostle Paul....that when we are weak, we are strong. Long suffering is to be counted as a joy....I know it doesn’t make sense now...but will as you find council in The Holy Spirit. We are in a time when there is a choice to be made...the narrow path or the wide path. Walk in The Spirit or walk in the fleshly realms. Follow Christ or the world. I know that we think we know someone...even for decades...but we find we really didn’t know them like we thought. Remember when Paul talks about the thorn in his side...he asks God three times to remove it...and God tells him...” My grace is sufficient “.
But in marriages, in a perfect world, it’s the most sacred of covenants God willed to us...it’s His perfect will. But in divorce the adversary usually has a hold on the one who wants to break the marriage...so you may find there’s more to the story than you know....as bad as it hurts...it’s usually true. But to deal with the pain you must count your blessings...and you must cleave to The Word of God and The Holy Spirit as He is “The Comforter”. The Lord incomprehensible love will never put us in a position you can’t handle with His council. Pray for reconciliation and surround yourself with godly people who are going thru the same. Fellowship is paramount as God uses other people for His work and healing as well. You may also find an interest or hobby that will allow you to constructively express your loss. Mine is playing music as I can pour out my heart in praise and emotion to The Father. It’s like crying on the shoulder of Jesus. But also remember that you must endure this race for the finish line....this earthly realm is but a blink of an eye.....and if you are a believer and love God with all your heart...He will reward you with eternal life....eternity is a long time and you want to know you will be with Christ for eternity. Don’t repay evil for evil....always bound in love. God knows your pain and loves you and even when it seems impossible His love will help you thru these difficult times and in the end...you will receive the white stone and cast your crowns of rewards at the foot of The Great White Throne. I’m so sorry that this world is waxing cold...but we are warned of this in His Word. All love and supplication to you and all who are abandoned in loneliness. Also remember that the devil attacks when you are feeling... H. A. L. T.
H= hungry...like Jesus in the desert for 40 days...was tempted by Satan.
A= angry
L= loneliness
T= tired
Don’t let Satan attack you in these states of mind...Satan isn’t stupid and knows when your vulnerable. Knowledge is power. Remember too that there are times when you...not knowing, are in the presence and entertaining angels! I pray that God turns a merciful ear to your pain and heals you, in Jesus Holy name!!!
 

DHarper

New member
May 20, 2023
2
2
1
#38
I can't help you with any scriptures as it's been 9 years since my wife divorced me and I still struggle with it. I didn't see it coming and fought my hardest to prevent it and have yet to understand exactly why it had to happen.
Divorce is abuse.
Marriages are covenants. Covenants are not to be broken.


Matthew 19:6
“Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
Prayers for you, to have the comfort of God's arms, opening wide for you.
 

DHarper

New member
May 20, 2023
2
2
1
#39
God knows exactly what are his plans for each of our lives. Prayers that the Lord will comfort and show you the way.