Hey Everyone,
Something I have been pondering for a while is the way our culture has shifted so much as far as giving out any personal or contact information about ourselves.
I had a relative who was born in the 1800's, and back then, the primary source of communication was writing letters. When she died, among her possessions were boxes and boxes of postcards and letters she had exchanged with during her lifetime, and it had been with a vast number of people. Back then, giving people your exact location -- your home address -- was apparently not only socially acceptable, but really the only way to keep in touch, because this was a time before telephones were used in homes.
When I was growing up (before the internet,) I used to subscribe to (actual print) magazines in which you could fill out a short form with your name, address, age, and interests; mail it in, and then receive someone else's form that they had filled out (with their own handwriting) with whom you could start exchanging letters with.
What's that?! Complete strangers, meeting solely through written words, sent directly to each other's address?!! Preposterous, I know!!! And there was no way to Google anyone in those days or look them up to see if they had a criminal record -- you had to trust that these people were giving out their real names, addresses, and info about themselves.
What's even crazier is that over the years, one of my pen pals came from across the USA to visit my family (and then I went to see her - twice,) and another pen pal from Japan, along with her best friend, came to visit for a week. And we set the whole trip up with paper letters -- not a single phone call because of the enormous cost of overseas calls -- with our letters taking about 2 weeks to get to each other from each side.
And as I was growing up, once a year, you'd walk out your front door to find a Yellow Pages phone book chucked onto your driveway. This hefty, gargantuan book contained the names, numbers, and home addresses of everyone in that city and/or county. I'm not sure when the option came along to choose to be unlisted, but from what I could tell, you could find pretty much anyone you were looking for in that area -- and all the information was literally delivered right to your door.
I have relatives who used to live in a large senior community -- over a hundred thousand people -- and even in these modern times, they still print a regular old-fashioned phone book that is delivered to everyone's doorstep, just like when I was back home.
Now I'm certainly not advocating that anyone let down their guard and give out their information willy-nilly. Not at all. In fact, I have friends who made up aliases online to protect their identities, and I think they've been pretty smart about it. They're not out deceiving or cat fishing anyone -- they're just very cautious and can maintain control over who they allow to know more about them.
But what happened for things to become this way? How did we go from having our names, address, and phone numbers put together in a free book (that was conveniently updated every year) for everyone to see, to now having this modern day feeling that we don't really want anyone to know anything about us?
I would really like to know people's thoughts and stories as to how this transition took place.
* Is it because of the internet, and the fact that almost anything about you can be discovered online?
* Is it mostly because the online world has made hacking, identity theft, and scamming so much easier and widespread?
* Have we just become innately more private in a world that seems to want more and more of our personal information, and more often?
* Is it because the world has just become so much more dangerous than "back then," requiring more drastic measures of protecting ourselves?
* Is it because our methods of communication have changed, allowing us to stay as anonymous as we want?
I still have a few postcards from my older relative's former stash. I think they're an intriguing and long-lost part of history, especially when it comes to communication. And it makes me wonder if people felt any more of a connection then, or if they felt less lonely when they were writing to and receiving letters from others in their own handwriting -- an actual tangible thing to hold on to -- and it was sent to their actual addresses.
What do you think has led to this societal shift of everyone locking up and building up their own Fort Knox (an infamous place in the USA) to protect who they are, how to contact them, and where they live?
P.S. Once again, I am NOT in any way saying we shouldn't protect our information -- I'm just wondering what people think are the main catalysts are that has led to it being this way.
Everyone is welcome to answer, but I am especially interested in this topic as part of the single community and how we learn to navigate the crazy world of dating while doing so in a safe manner.
Something I have been pondering for a while is the way our culture has shifted so much as far as giving out any personal or contact information about ourselves.
I had a relative who was born in the 1800's, and back then, the primary source of communication was writing letters. When she died, among her possessions were boxes and boxes of postcards and letters she had exchanged with during her lifetime, and it had been with a vast number of people. Back then, giving people your exact location -- your home address -- was apparently not only socially acceptable, but really the only way to keep in touch, because this was a time before telephones were used in homes.
When I was growing up (before the internet,) I used to subscribe to (actual print) magazines in which you could fill out a short form with your name, address, age, and interests; mail it in, and then receive someone else's form that they had filled out (with their own handwriting) with whom you could start exchanging letters with.
What's that?! Complete strangers, meeting solely through written words, sent directly to each other's address?!! Preposterous, I know!!! And there was no way to Google anyone in those days or look them up to see if they had a criminal record -- you had to trust that these people were giving out their real names, addresses, and info about themselves.
What's even crazier is that over the years, one of my pen pals came from across the USA to visit my family (and then I went to see her - twice,) and another pen pal from Japan, along with her best friend, came to visit for a week. And we set the whole trip up with paper letters -- not a single phone call because of the enormous cost of overseas calls -- with our letters taking about 2 weeks to get to each other from each side.
And as I was growing up, once a year, you'd walk out your front door to find a Yellow Pages phone book chucked onto your driveway. This hefty, gargantuan book contained the names, numbers, and home addresses of everyone in that city and/or county. I'm not sure when the option came along to choose to be unlisted, but from what I could tell, you could find pretty much anyone you were looking for in that area -- and all the information was literally delivered right to your door.
I have relatives who used to live in a large senior community -- over a hundred thousand people -- and even in these modern times, they still print a regular old-fashioned phone book that is delivered to everyone's doorstep, just like when I was back home.
Now I'm certainly not advocating that anyone let down their guard and give out their information willy-nilly. Not at all. In fact, I have friends who made up aliases online to protect their identities, and I think they've been pretty smart about it. They're not out deceiving or cat fishing anyone -- they're just very cautious and can maintain control over who they allow to know more about them.
But what happened for things to become this way? How did we go from having our names, address, and phone numbers put together in a free book (that was conveniently updated every year) for everyone to see, to now having this modern day feeling that we don't really want anyone to know anything about us?
I would really like to know people's thoughts and stories as to how this transition took place.
* Is it because of the internet, and the fact that almost anything about you can be discovered online?
* Is it mostly because the online world has made hacking, identity theft, and scamming so much easier and widespread?
* Have we just become innately more private in a world that seems to want more and more of our personal information, and more often?
* Is it because the world has just become so much more dangerous than "back then," requiring more drastic measures of protecting ourselves?
* Is it because our methods of communication have changed, allowing us to stay as anonymous as we want?
I still have a few postcards from my older relative's former stash. I think they're an intriguing and long-lost part of history, especially when it comes to communication. And it makes me wonder if people felt any more of a connection then, or if they felt less lonely when they were writing to and receiving letters from others in their own handwriting -- an actual tangible thing to hold on to -- and it was sent to their actual addresses.
What do you think has led to this societal shift of everyone locking up and building up their own Fort Knox (an infamous place in the USA) to protect who they are, how to contact them, and where they live?
P.S. Once again, I am NOT in any way saying we shouldn't protect our information -- I'm just wondering what people think are the main catalysts are that has led to it being this way.
Everyone is welcome to answer, but I am especially interested in this topic as part of the single community and how we learn to navigate the crazy world of dating while doing so in a safe manner.
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