Husband doesn’t want me to be baptized

Hi everyone
I’m married to an unbeliever and I’ve been saved for a year now and it’s been a huge problem for my husband to understand it all and the changes he’s seen in me since being born again. He doesn’t think I need to be baptized because I’ve been baptized as an infant. He thinks adult baptism is rediculous. He doesn’t want me to be in church every Sunday but has “compromised” with every other week me going with our three children. He thinks it’s a big disruption to our family time together on Sundays. I’ve agreed to this for now to keep the peace. I have other opportunities for fellowship. Every Wednesday my children’s school has chapel which I always attend. Im not 100% happy about the compromise obviously but a pastor of my friend said I should accept that as my ultimate goal would be to win him to the Lord and not push him to be angry about the situation. Now we have a new issue in which I want to be baptized at my next opportunity at my church. Which is mid June. My husband for some reason feels “HE’S” not ready for that. His reason is he thinks it will change me to be even more “brainwashed” as he calls it. He says he didn’t marry this person and now he’s “stuck” (because of our children)
He is asking me to go slow and let him digest the situation and wait till September and he said he would even attend it but only if I wait till then. If I go do it any earlier he said (threatened) I should just not come home. He’s already trying to turn the kids against me for revenge. Saying the Bible isn’t true and Jesus is not real. If I agree to waiting till September (which I feel I’m negotiating with Satan if I do)The house will be peaceful and I can keep on reading the Bible to the kids and take them to their Christian school.
If I do what I feel I’m commanded to do as a professing believer in Christ and obedience to God and get baptized as soon as I can he is threatening to take the kids out of school and put them in public and turn the whole house upside down basically.
I really need some good advice
🙏 and of course prayers.

If I agree to waiting till September (which I feel I’m negotiating with Satan if I do)

Now you know why we're told not to be yoked to an unbeliever.

Follow your conscience that is Holy Spirit guiding you.

Find a church you like and be Baptized. You don't need your husband's permission.

God be with you.

Hi everyone
I’m married to an unbeliever and I’ve been saved for a year now and it’s been a huge problem for my husband to understand it all and the changes he’s seen in me since being born again. He doesn’t think I need to be baptized because I’ve been baptized as an infant. He thinks adult baptism is rediculous. He doesn’t want me to be in church every Sunday but has “compromised” with every other week me going with our three children. He thinks it’s a big disruption to our family time together on Sundays. I’ve agreed to this for now to keep the peace. I have other opportunities for fellowship. Every Wednesday my children’s school has chapel which I always attend. Im not 100% happy about the compromise obviously but a pastor of my friend said I should accept that as my ultimate goal would be to win him to the Lord and not push him to be angry about the situation. Now we have a new issue in which I want to be baptized at my next opportunity at my church. Which is mid June. My husband for some reason feels “HE’S” not ready for that. His reason is he thinks it will change me to be even more “brainwashed” as he calls it. He says he didn’t marry this person and now he’s “stuck” (because of our children)
He is asking me to go slow and let him digest the situation and wait till September and he said he would even attend it but only if I wait till then. If I go do it any earlier he said (threatened) I should just not come home. He’s already trying to turn the kids against me for revenge. Saying the Bible isn’t true and Jesus is not real. If I agree to waiting till September (which I feel I’m negotiating with Satan if I do)The house will be peaceful and I can keep on reading the Bible to the kids and take them to their Christian school.
If I do what I feel I’m commanded to do as a professing believer in Christ and obedience to God and get baptized as soon as I can he is threatening to take the kids out of school and put them in public and turn the whole house upside down basically.
I really need some good advice
🙏 and of course prayers.

It's always difficult to desire to want to do what you believe honors God when that brings consequences into family relationships. Your desire to be baptized as a believer is a good desire. But God has assigned the husband to be the head of the household and where he isn't asking you to commit sin you should follow. Submitting to your husband is submitting to God.
In many ways he seems very reasonable. He is allowing the kids to go to a Christian school, and not totally resisting you to keep you from worship.
Just as you becoming a Christian has been a major change in your life, it has turned his life upside down as well. What might have been your response had the situation been reversed?
You should also recognize that when your husband makes demands of you or else, he is just using that as a means of control over a situation. It is a poor way for a man to exercise leadership, but it is probably what he learned from his father's example. Even Christian men struggle with how to lead their families. And with so much change at once, he is no doubt confused. You might sit down with him, reaffirm your love and commitment to him, tell him you understand its alot to take in, and just come up with a way for him to let you know of the things he feels strongly about without having to use threatening conditions.
I do feel deeply for you and your family, and will keep you all in my prayers.

Since your husband has agreed to support you being baptized in September, waiting until then
does not sound like negotiating with Satan to me. You are making concessions to keep your
family together and not overwhelm your husband with too much change at once, for peace.
Having him be a part of the event as well, and allowing him to hear your testimony at the
time of your baptism, shows him that you are not acting rashly, but have come to this
decision thoughtfully, carefully, and would love to include him in the process.

Hi there
I really appreciate your time to reply and I think it’s very good advice
I want to be in the will of God. I thought being baptized after conversion is commanded (Acts 2:38, 10:47..) And that I have to obey God over man in things that are spiritual or commanded for a believer.
So what you’re saying is as long as my husband is not asking me to sin then I am to submit. Postponing my baptism until he is ready is ok and I’m not putting his will above Gods will?
I know the Lord wants peace in my house and for the marriage to stay intact. I will pray about this and I know the Lord knows my heart. thank you

Believers should be baptized, but it doesn't affect one's salvation. And given that he has only asked you to wait, I think it just makes sense to.
Your walk before your husband in humility and grace can go very far in his life and could very well be what God uses to bring your husband to Himself.
Wisdom that comes from above is first peaceable. If it promotes peace, it's probably from God.
I also think Magenta and Artios1 have given very good advice.

Hi everyone
I’m married to an unbeliever and I’ve been saved for a year now and it’s been a huge problem for my husband to understand it all and the changes he’s seen in me since being born again. He doesn’t think I need to be baptized because I’ve been baptized as an infant. He thinks adult baptism is rediculous. He doesn’t want me to be in church every Sunday but has “compromised” with every other week me going with our three children. He thinks it’s a big disruption to our family time together on Sundays. I’ve agreed to this for now to keep the peace. I have other opportunities for fellowship. Every Wednesday my children’s school has chapel which I always attend. Im not 100% happy about the compromise obviously but a pastor of my friend said I should accept that as my ultimate goal would be to win him to the Lord and not push him to be angry about the situation. Now we have a new issue in which I want to be baptized at my next opportunity at my church. Which is mid June. My husband for some reason feels “HE’S” not ready for that. His reason is he thinks it will change me to be even more “brainwashed” as he calls it. He says he didn’t marry this person and now he’s “stuck” (because of our children)
He is asking me to go slow and let him digest the situation and wait till September and he said he would even attend it but only if I wait till then. If I go do it any earlier he said (threatened) I should just not come home. He’s already trying to turn the kids against me for revenge. Saying the Bible isn’t true and Jesus is not real. If I agree to waiting till September (which I feel I’m negotiating with Satan if I do)The house will be peaceful and I can keep on reading the Bible to the kids and take them to their Christian school.
If I do what I feel I’m commanded to do as a professing believer in Christ and obedience to God and get baptized as soon as I can he is threatening to take the kids out of school and put them in public and turn the whole house upside down basically.
I really need some good advice
🙏 and of course prayers.

Please read all of 1 Peter 3. There is a general instruction for everyone to do good even in adverse times
because the Lord will watch over you. But it's also very applicable to your situation with your husband:

1 Peter 3:13-15 - 13 Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? 14 But even if you should
suffer for what is right, you are blessed. “Do not fear their threats; do not be frightened.” 15 But in your
hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give
the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect....

Hi everyone
I’m married to an unbeliever and I’ve been saved for a year now and it’s been a huge problem for my husband to understand it all and the changes he’s seen in me since being born again. He doesn’t think I need to be baptized because I’ve been baptized as an infant. He thinks adult baptism is rediculous. He doesn’t want me to be in church every Sunday but has “compromised” with every other week me going with our three children. He thinks it’s a big disruption to our family time together on Sundays. I’ve agreed to this for now to keep the peace. I have other opportunities for fellowship. Every Wednesday my children’s school has chapel which I always attend. Im not 100% happy about the compromise obviously but a pastor of my friend said I should accept that as my ultimate goal would be to win him to the Lord and not push him to be angry about the situation. Now we have a new issue in which I want to be baptized at my next opportunity at my church. Which is mid June. My husband for some reason feels “HE’S” not ready for that. His reason is he thinks it will change me to be even more “brainwashed” as he calls it. He says he didn’t marry this person and now he’s “stuck” (because of our children)
He is asking me to go slow and let him digest the situation and wait till September and he said he would even attend it but only if I wait till then. If I go do it any earlier he said (threatened) I should just not come home. He’s already trying to turn the kids against me for revenge. Saying the Bible isn’t true and Jesus is not real. If I agree to waiting till September (which I feel I’m negotiating with Satan if I do)The house will be peaceful and I can keep on reading the Bible to the kids and take them to their Christian school.
If I do what I feel I’m commanded to do as a professing believer in Christ and obedience to God and get baptized as soon as I can he is threatening to take the kids out of school and put them in public and turn the whole house upside down basically.
I really need some good advice
🙏 and of course prayers.

This is one of the most difficult situations a Christian can face. You are making a stand for Christ and that is admirable. It won't help to argue with him. No one comes to Christ by an argument. Ask Jesus to be your wisdom. You need to demonstrate that you love him, not easy when he is hostile. That, however, is exactly when Christians should shine. God has promised that the situation will not become unbearable. There is always an escape.

Obviously the best solution is for him to be saved. 1 Corinthians 7 is the best chapter to read in your situation. Be assured that God has your back. Sometimes divorce is the only way out, but it is absolutely a last resort. And yes, I know this from experience. I'm praying for you as well as others.

Did he tell you any other why he wanted you to wait till September? Besides the excuse he needs till then to digest this?

I can understand you feel like you're negotiating with the devil.

Follow your heart. That's God leading you in the way of righteousness.

True Story.

A woman would get dressed for church every Sunday morning. When she started out the door, her husband stopped her at the door and told her that she couldn't go to church. She, being an obedient wife, turned around and changed clothes, and fixed lunch, then sat in the den with him and read her Bible while he watched sports on the television. This routine went on for several years. One day, out of the blue, her husband asked her why did she get dressed for church every Sunday when you know I'm going to tell you that you can't go. He reply was that she was obeying God's word. He noticed that she had left her Bible on the end table, opened to Ephesians 5. He picked up the Bible and read the Chapter. After reading it he never again told her that she couldn't go to church on Sunday morning. Months later when she went to the car, her husband was waiting for her. From that day forward, God became an integral part of their life, and the led many to Christ.

My advise. Let the scriptures on couple's relationship to each other be your guide to your decision.

This is terrible advice. Follow the Word of God and not your heart.