Honest question....why don't churches teach the best way to avoid fornication is to get married?

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Fundaamental

Fundaamental

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#21
Mar 17, 2023
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#21
JohnB said:
Too many times I've seen churches refusing to deal with the issues or telling young people just thinking of sex is a sin. The message should have been, if you want to have sex get married. Understand the trade offs. If you get married, there will be troubles, if you don't there's a good chance you will fall into fornication.
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well I don't know what church your going to but I would have thought conversations like what talking bout would be personal on a one to one, not for the whole church of young adults.
 
L

Locoponydirtman

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#22
#22
Fundaamental said:
well I don't know what church your going to but I would have thought conversations like what talking bout would be personal on a one to one, not for the whole church of young adults.
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He does this every couple of months. I guess he saw new blood and still wants validation because he failed to have a successful relationship that lead into marriage. He blames others rather than himself.
 
Cameron143

Cameron143

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#23
JohnB said:
"Also,while marriage is to a degree to fill the earth, it primarily exists to glorify God "....Jesus and Paul never said that. They were both very clear marriage is to control the desires.
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Everything exists primarily to glorify God.
 
JohnB

JohnB

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#24
Fundaamental said:
well I don't know what church your going to but I would have thought conversations like what talking bout would be personal on a one to one, not for the whole church of young adults.
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This is not something to hide. The Song of Solomon is out in the open. If I had to do over again, I would have kept my dating life separate from the church. The church I went to got caught up in the Purity Movement. I was against it and told people in the church who were pushing it. Sadly many of those who followed the Purity Movement ended up in bad marriages. I knew a few of them.
 
Fundaamental

Fundaamental

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#25
Locoponydirtman said:
He does this every couple of months. I guess he saw new blood and still wants validation because he failed to have a successful relationship that lead into marriage. He blames others rather than himself.
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ahhh that explains it 😱
 
JohnB

JohnB

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#26
Fundaamental said:
well I don't know what church your going to but I would have thought conversations like what talking bout would be personal on a one to one, not for the whole church of young adults.
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True story, I was at church one say and a couple I knew were talking about being pure and holy before GOD, before getting married. They kissed by holding their hands over their mouths. I told them that was stupid. About a month later I saw the woman in church. She said she was very mad because her husband did not like the way she kissed. If he didn't like it, that was too bad. ......this was something they should have known BEFORE they got married.
 
Fundaamental

Fundaamental

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#27
Mar 17, 2023
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#27
JohnB said:
This is not something to hide. The Song of Solomon is out in the open. If I had to do over again, I would have kept my dating life separate from the church. The church I went to got caught up in the Purity Movement. I was against it and told people in the church who were pushing it. Sadly many of those who followed the Purity Movement ended up in bad marriages. I knew a few of them.
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oh come on you know every young adult gets embarrassed and the parents feel awkward talking to much about it,
Most church leaders are parents to or been young once.
It would be common sense to leave something so personal to the parents to discuss.
Besides I wouldn't be happy about a priest talking to my child about sexual relations
Maybe you should be looking there first. rather than the church.
 
JohnB

JohnB

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#28
Locoponydirtman said:
He does this every couple of months. I guess he saw new blood and still wants validation because he failed to have a successful relationship that lead into marriage. He blames others rather than himself.
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The church
I warn people not to get involved in the purity movement. and what Jesus and Paul said about sex and marriage.
 
JohnB

JohnB

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#29
Fundaamental said:
oh come on you know every young adult gets embarrassed and the parents feel awkward talking to much about it,
Most church leaders are parents to or been young once.
It would be common sense to leave something so personal to the parents to discuss.
Besides I wouldn't be happy about a priest talking to my child about sexual relations
Maybe you should be looking there first. rather than the church.
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Than the church should stop teaching about purity before marriage.
 
Fundaamental

Fundaamental

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#30
Mar 17, 2023
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#30
JohnB said:
Than the church should stop teaching about purity before marriage.
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it's the same thing. Its still embarrassing for the young adult.
That why parents would rather the church didn't play that role
 
C

ChristsChild

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#31
Apr 28, 2023
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#31
JohnB said:
Paul and Jesus didn't seem to think so. Their number one reason for marriage was to control the sexual desires. Will it work for everyone? Of course not, but it will lessen fornication. You also have to decide who to marry. GOD is not going to do that for you. You have to make a wise decision.
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I was merely responding in kind to the hypothetical.

Of course marriage needs be a wise decision.:) It's for life.
 
Fundaamental

Fundaamental

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#32
Mar 17, 2023
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#32
JohnB said:
Than the church should stop teaching about purity before marriage.
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The problem is when a young aldult becomes embarrassed they also start to get desires
They can even think the priest who's talking about purity will be the right person for them.
 
SteveEpperson

SteveEpperson

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#33
May 12, 2018
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#33
JohnB said:
Why does the church find it so difficult to accept this? Why don't they talk about how to choose a spouse?
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In my 45 years of "going to church, " I have NEVER heard the word fornication, let alone how to avoid it.

I believe the church unwittingly bought into the sexual revolution in the 1960s. I know that sounds harsh, but I really think it's true.
 
Flannery

Flannery

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#34
Mar 20, 2023
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#34
JohnB said:
But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion 1 Corinthians 7:9 Paul taught that.


His disciples said to Him, “If this is the case between a man and his wife, it is better not to marry.” “Not everyone can accept this word,” He replied, “but only those to whom it has been given. Matthew 19:11 - 12 Jesus said so.

Why does the church find it so difficult to accept this? Why don't they talk about how to choose a spouse?
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Fornication and adultery are synonymous, but they're not identical. Both cases are illicit sex, but while adultery is a blasé attitude involving the idea that sex is part of life, and that everyone who is an adult knows that, fornication is a specific instance of adultery, think "Lot pitched his tents towards Sodom." The difference is that adultery is always profligacy, having sex with someone you aren't married to, wherever either one of you is married otherwise or not, and as most people look at it it's serial promiscuity. Fornication is also called miscegenation and might be part of a legally valid marriage. In other words, thinking over the real difference, there can be monogamous fornication, at least in theory.

This one is kind of like the homosexual marriage, yes or no argument.
 
Cameron143

Cameron143

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#35
Flannery said:
Fornication and adultery are synonymous, but they're not identical. Both cases are illicit sex, but while adultery is a blasé attitude involving the idea that sex is part of life, and that everyone who is an adult knows that, fornication is a specific instance of adultery, think "Lot pitched his tents towards Sodom." The difference is that adultery is always profligacy, having sex with someone you aren't married to, wherever either one of you is married otherwise or not, and as most people look at it it's serial promiscuity. Fornication is also called miscegenation and might be part of a legally valid marriage. In other words, thinking over the real difference, there can be monogamous fornication, at least in theory.

This one is kind of like the homosexual marriage, yes or no argument.
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Fornication is sexual intimacy between unmarried individuals. Adultery is sexual intimacy wherein at least one of the participants is married but not to the person they are being intimate with.
 
HopeinHim98

HopeinHim98

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#36
Mar 16, 2023
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#36
JohnB said:
Jesus and Paul were very clear, to stop fornication, get married. The reason for marriage is to have sex.
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But not near the only reason.
JohnB said:
This is not something to hide. The Song of Solomon is out in the open. If I had to do over again, I would have kept my dating life separate from the church. The church I went to got caught up in the Purity Movement. I was against it and told people in the church who were pushing it. Sadly many of those who followed the Purity Movement ended up in bad marriages. I knew a few of them.
Click to expand...
So what is wrong with the purity movement? I know that Josh Harris went off the deep end away from Christ but weren't many of the principles he used to promote actually pretty sound?
 
JohnB

JohnB

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#37
HopeinHim98 said:
But not near the only reason.

So what is wrong with the purity movement? I know that Josh Harris went off the deep end away from Christ but weren't many of the principles he used to promote actually pretty sound?
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Even he said his book was wrong. What more do you need? He apologized for writing the book. Look up some of the reviews of his books. You will see some sad stories. His views in the book were not biblical.
 
Flannery

Flannery

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#38
Mar 20, 2023
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#38
Cameron143 said:
Fornication is sexual intimacy between unmarried individuals. Adultery is sexual intimacy wherein at least one of the participants is married but not to the person they are being intimate with.
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Fornication is marital or conjugal relations with someone against whom your country has anti trade laws (tariffs).
 
Nehemiah6

Nehemiah6

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#39
Jul 18, 2017
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#39
JohnB said:
Why does the church find it so difficult to accept this? Why don't they talk about how to choose a spouse?
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The churches expect people to make up their own minds, and the Bible already tells you how to choose a spouse. What is generally absent is serious pre-marital counseling.
 
JohnB

JohnB

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#40
Jul 31, 2022
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#40
Flannery said:
Fornication and adultery are synonymous, but they're not identical. Both cases are illicit sex, but while adultery is a blasé attitude involving the idea that sex is part of life, and that everyone who is an adult knows that, fornication is a specific instance of adultery, think "Lot pitched his tents towards Sodom." The difference is that adultery is always profligacy, having sex with someone you aren't married to, wherever either one of you is married otherwise or not, and as most people look at it it's serial promiscuity. Fornication is also called miscegenation and might be part of a legally valid marriage. In other words, thinking over the real difference, there can be monogamous fornication, at least in theory.

This one is kind of like the homosexual marriage, yes or no argument.
Click to expand...
And what was Paul's and Jesus answer to fornication? MARRIAGE.
 
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