Not sure what to do.

Good morning to all,
I need some advice on how to move forward with my daughter. She's been caught lying again and I don't know what to do.
She has been on "holiday" for most of May but in fact she quit her job. My wife and I have asked her a few times did she still have a job and she said yes. I sent a Whatsapp message on our family group two days ago asking what shift she would be working so I could try to drop her off if it wasn't too late. She replied she would catch the bus and started in June.

I had a feeling she had left her job, but all was confirmed Monday evening. My wife confirmed she no longer had a job etc.
She's put my son and his girlfriend in an impossible situation for the past month and my wife the past couple of days since she found out. This isn't the first time she has done this. Lying does come too easy to her, I did think she had grown up a bit and sorted herself out, but I am wrong.

Her brother, his girlfriend and my wife have moved on, but I can't. She's not sorry and she doesn't think she's done anything wrong. I've told my wife I can't forgive her and can't move forward, and I know this is going to cause issues with her and my wife. But she has taken away my trust and it doesnt look like she realises what she's done. I want to make it clear her leaving her job isnt the issue but it's the lies and the situation she put us all in I can't get past. My wife wants to make amends and I can't do it.

I've had a look in the Bible about lying and I didn't know it's treated more serious than I thought.
If anyone can give me advice on how to move forward, Now I can't see a happy conclusion.

My daughter is 26 and she does live with use, so does her brother. We are not supporting her financially at the moment But when she quit her job last time we did support her for nine months.
She as said she's got a job which is ment to make it alright.

Good morning to all,
I need some advice on how to move forward with my daughter. She's been caught lying again and I don't know what to do.
She has been on "holiday" for most of May but in fact she quit her job. My wife and I have asked her a few times did she still have a job and she said yes. I sent a Whatsapp message on our family group two days ago asking what shift she would be working so I could try to drop her off if it wasn't too late. She replied she would catch the bus and started in June.

I had a feeling she had left her job, but all was confirmed Monday evening. My wife confirmed she no longer had a job etc.
She's put my son and his girlfriend in an impossible situation for the past month and my wife the past couple of days since she found out. This isn't the first time she has done this. Lying does come too easy to her, I did think she had grown up a bit and sorted herself out, but I am wrong.

Her brother, his girlfriend and my wife have moved on, but I can't. She's not sorry and she doesn't think she's done anything wrong. I've told my wife I can't forgive her and can't move forward, and I know this is going to cause issues with her and my wife. But she has taken away my trust and it doesnt look like she realises what she's done. I want to make it clear her leaving her job isnt the issue but it's the lies and the situation she put us all in I can't get past. My wife wants to make amends and I can't do it.

I've had a look in the Bible about lying and I didn't know it's treated more serious than I thought.
If anyone can give me advice on how to move forward, Now I can't see a happy conclusion.

I think you might look into what biblical forgiveness actually is. The culture defines love and forgiveness a bit differently than what Christianity defines it. I’d suggest a good read called boundaries as well. While some of the scripture references in Boundaries might be a stretch at times it’s based and it’s written on biblical principles. Another one I’d suggest is called Bold Love-Dr.Dan Allender -it’s some insight on how to biblically love those who are most difficult to love.

here's a big difference between forgiveness and reconciliation; that said, your daughter is pretty much just using you and your family to keep herself afloat while she does as she pleases. Because she keeps on lying and putting your family through this, she is showing no signs of even trying to struggle with her sin.

I feel the one you need to talk to first before anyone else is your wife; she is enabling your daughter and allowing her to continue using your family. She needs to understand the difference I told you about, as well as understand that once you folks are departed, there will be no one to pick your daughter back up. There are many reasons parents enable their kids, and these emotions may be going through her heart on this:

Doubt: she doesn't feel her daughter can take care of herself

Guilt: she's supposed to protect her

Fear: her daughter will become homeless, go hungry, or suffer in other ways

Pride: she believes she owes her children everything, so she sacrifices endlessly

Shame: what would people think if they saw her daughter poor while she was doing well?

Discomfort: better to just "go along with it" than risk a confrontation

Control: as long as she gives her daughter money, she has say in her life

Responsibility: she may feel that she never taught her daughter how to be self-sufficient and feels responsible for her

I think if you can get your wife to talk about the "why" and what she's feeling, that will go a long way to resolving this.

Why isn't she married and working on her own family?

Good morning to all,
I need some advice on how to move forward with my daughter. She's been caught lying again and I don't know what to do.
She has been on "holiday" for most of May but in fact she quit her job. My wife and I have asked her a few times did she still have a job and she said yes. I sent a Whatsapp message on our family group two days ago asking what shift she would be working so I could try to drop her off if it wasn't too late. She replied she would catch the bus and started in June.

I had a feeling she had left her job, but all was confirmed Monday evening. My wife confirmed she no longer had a job etc.
She's put my son and his girlfriend in an impossible situation for the past month and my wife the past couple of days since she found out. This isn't the first time she has done this. Lying does come too easy to her, I did think she had grown up a bit and sorted herself out, but I am wrong.

Her brother, his girlfriend and my wife have moved on, but I can't. She's not sorry and she doesn't think she's done anything wrong. I've told my wife I can't forgive her and can't move forward, and I know this is going to cause issues with her and my wife. But she has taken away my trust and it doesnt look like she realises what she's done. I want to make it clear her leaving her job isnt the issue but it's the lies and the situation she put us all in I can't get past. My wife wants to make amends and I can't do it.

I've had a look in the Bible about lying and I didn't know it's treated more serious than I thought.
If anyone can give me advice on how to move forward, Now I can't see a happy conclusion.

My daughter being married has nothing to do with what I've written. But thank you for your response.

Good morning to all,
I need some advice on how to move forward with my daughter. She's been caught lying again and I don't know what to do.
She has been on "holiday" for most of May but in fact she quit her job. My wife and I have asked her a few times did she still have a job and she said yes. I sent a Whatsapp message on our family group two days ago asking what shift she would be working so I could try to drop her off if it wasn't too late. She replied she would catch the bus and started in June.

I had a feeling she had left her job, but all was confirmed Monday evening. My wife confirmed she no longer had a job etc.
She's put my son and his girlfriend in an impossible situation for the past month and my wife the past couple of days since she found out. This isn't the first time she has done this. Lying does come too easy to her, I did think she had grown up a bit and sorted herself out, but I am wrong.

Her brother, his girlfriend and my wife have moved on, but I can't. She's not sorry and she doesn't think she's done anything wrong. I've told my wife I can't forgive her and can't move forward, and I know this is going to cause issues with her and my wife. But she has taken away my trust and it doesnt look like she realises what she's done. I want to make it clear her leaving her job isnt the issue but it's the lies and the situation she put us all in I can't get past. My wife wants to make amends and I can't do it.

I've had a look in the Bible about lying and I didn't know it's treated more serious than I thought.
If anyone can give me advice on how to move forward, Now I can't see a happy conclusion.

My daughter is 26 and she does live with use, so does her brother. We are not supporting her financially at the moment But when she quit her job last time we did support her for nine months.
She as said she's got a job which is ment to make it alright.

There is forgiveness and forgiveness. You can forgive the offence and yet not allow the offender the same rights as previously. For example, you find out that your son has been driving your car at way over the speed limit. You can and should forgive him. That does not mean that you let him drive your car again. If he shows genuine remorse and commits to obeying the road rules, ok. Otherwise, no way.

You have no choice but to forgive. You do have a choice as to whether or not there are consequences for her actions. God forgives us, but the principle of sowing and reaping applies. I know how impossible it is to forgive at times. This article will show you the way of forgiveness as God forgives:

https://www.christianlife.org.au/can-you-forgive-from-your-heart

Good morning to all,
I need some advice on how to move forward with my daughter. She's been caught lying again and I don't know what to do.
She has been on "holiday" for most of May but in fact she quit her job. My wife and I have asked her a few times did she still have a job and she said yes. I sent a Whatsapp message on our family group two days ago asking what shift she would be working so I could try to drop her off if it wasn't too late. She replied she would catch the bus and started in June.

I had a feeling she had left her job, but all was confirmed Monday evening. My wife confirmed she no longer had a job etc.
She's put my son and his girlfriend in an impossible situation for the past month and my wife the past couple of days since she found out. This isn't the first time she has done this. Lying does come too easy to her, I did think she had grown up a bit and sorted herself out, but I am wrong.

Her brother, his girlfriend and my wife have moved on, but I can't. She's not sorry and she doesn't think she's done anything wrong. I've told my wife I can't forgive her and can't move forward, and I know this is going to cause issues with her and my wife. But she has taken away my trust and it doesnt look like she realises what she's done. I want to make it clear her leaving her job isnt the issue but it's the lies and the situation she put us all in I can't get past. My wife wants to make amends and I can't do it.

I've had a look in the Bible about lying and I didn't know it's treated more serious than I thought.
If anyone can give me advice on how to move forward, Now I can't see a happy conclusion.

Love and forgiveness is the key and the right thing to do , I time her behaviour may pass. tell her how much you love her, explain you are disappointed and expected more of her, ask her if there was a reason she feels she has to lie? Please invite her to a restaurant or somewhere she likes to go and discuss ( gently and lovingly ) this with her? one on one? I do not know the details of your relationship but certainly love and forgiveness is the key,

Blessings!

Thank you for taking the time to give your advice.

Matthew 18:21-22

21 Then Peter came up and said to Him, “Lord, how many times shall my brother sin against me and I still forgive him? Up to seven times?” 22 Jesus *said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to [a]seventy-seven times.

Forgiving does not mean you carry on allowing for her behaviour to remain the same , for if Jesus did not forgive us every time we messed up , who could be saved ?

You need to set real boundaries and stick with them...Unforgiveness in your heart will turn to resentment , to bitterness , and that is not how God wants you to walk...

When you mess up again in your life , will you not expect to be forgiven and be cleansed from our Lord ? , for if you hold unforgiveness in your heart , you to will not be forgiven your transgression...Sent in love...

Thank you for taking the time to give your advice.