You said "I need a miracle" Its what He does
and then just Him coming to this world to save you.. as if you were the only one.. how awesome is that. Its written I give you all power/authority over the enemy. So I take authority over suicide and depression for God has not given you the spirit of fear but of power love and a sound mind. He gave you the joy of the lord which is your strength. Weeping may endure for a night, but joy is coming in the morning.
So know that these thoughts and I know them well are not from God but the enemy. Now think about that. Well if the enemy can only lie then just flip those thoughts
See Christ is not like man. He loves you.. no matter what you did or do His love never changes and never leaves you. Feelings come and go and ooh can be all over the place. Its why we walk by faith. Knowing He can't lie. So yeah no matter how you feel KNOW He is there. Know you asked for a miracle.. so it shall be. He said ask.. and if two shall agree so I agree
. Praying