Blain's Testimony

I wish people were blessed by my presence but honestly my family thinks im an idiot and they dont share my love for God. I remember how I would tell them about the love God and I share and pour my heart out and they would just look at me and think I was crazy, honestly the only family who seems to understand is my family here in cc. I was not given an understanding family in life and I cant tell you how even my foster family has screwed my and my life up because of them not being a good parent.

and trust me I am not exactly a good person either, I may have the right heart but I have done things that no Christian would ever do and honestly if I was a copy of me and didnt know I was and I saw and I heard of the things I did I would say he is no Christian. You all know my heart because I always speak it on here but in the outside world no one can know my heart because they would attack it and reject it. In the world outside the forums I have no one whom I can reveal what is truly in my heart and so they see the blain that is sort of going through the motions.

I hear them gossiping about others and It hurts me inside but I never let them know, I constantly see how they act and it saddens me. I know they talk bad about me I know they dont have one good thing to say about me and honestly because of some of the things I did I could understand but still I can read their hearts as if it was an open book, and its not good.

God told me in a dream a long time ago that I have to make them a loving and happy family because I longed for this so much but I have no idea how I am supposed to do that when they dont even listen to the simple things I say. I keep going I fight the good fight with an upbeat loving heart and attitude but the truth and reality of my life and my family is very sorrowful. I am not innocent in this but I am the one who gets hurt and is saddened because I know Jesus.

Life on this earth painful!

Blain doesn't live on the Earth all that often I see.

Even if you see him physically, the Master is loving Him with His close presence most of the time.

I havent made a testimony because ppl hardly even read testimonies let alone post in them but I figured I might as well.
I guess it begins when I was with my mom and dad, as a young kid as long as I could remember they were always abusive and starved me severely. I was always hungry and I was treated like a slave, I did all sorts of chores and for no reason at all they would hurt me. I had to clean the carpet with nothing but water and a tooth brush and they hit me a lot. I remember they would sit in a circle and I had to take my pants off and one by one they would stab my in the but with a sowing needle. there was one time they made me eat a cockroach another they made me eat my sisters poop another they made me drink my uncles throw up.

There was another time my mom cut my bottom with a knife and said the blood coming out was demons and scared me. my mom would sometimes make special pancakes for me, she would make pancakes crunch up lots of pills and say they were sprinkles and drench it in syrup. I knew I would black out if i ate it but i never get to eat good so I did it no problem.

Basically I had a terrible child hood, and I dont even remember the worst parts, when I was taken away at age eight apparently my parents spilled the beans of all they did and I was put in a foster home. my foster mom still wont tell me the parts I dont remember she said it was to gruesome and horrible for me to handle all i know is that they sexually abused me and lots of horrible things that my mind apparently cant remember because they starved me so bad and they drugged so much that I somehow had brain damage. at the age of eight I was the size of a four year old due to not being fed good so I had to eat a whole lot so my body could gradually catch up

I was put in a good foster home, the dad was a real jerk but i dont hold grudges. I had already forgiven my real parents I am not able to stay mad at someone trust me I have tried. I had 4 good years although I had medical issues they werent that bad but then I got cancer luekemia, its a deadly blood cancer. Cancer of course is no joy ride, you have to go through so much stuff like radiation and chemo therapy you get stuck with needles a whole lot and you get more medical issues from the radiation and it damages your body. I had it for four years but finally it was in remission meaning its basically asleep but can come back at any time. to this day I still suffer from the cancer and the damage it did to my body, I have many health issue I received another dose of brain damage and I now have diabetes. I even for some reason get this horrible pain in my nerves and bones.

People say I am brave and strong for fighting and beating cancer, but im not because I didnt do anything it was all because of the doctors help that I am even alive. there were a couple times i almost died and they saved me. all I did was put up with it.

I eventually graduated high school but because I cant drive due to the brain damage I cannot go to work as there is not a place to work in walking distance and plus I have trouble remembering simple things and following simple commands. So I live with my mom and in all likely hood will for the rest of my life because I have no way of earning money and cant live on my own. But anyways I was saved two years ago and it was the best decision I ever made, my family doesnt think I will ever amount to much or be anyone special but God says that I can and will