Has the Church Helped in Teaching Sexual Purity?

validation as a man??

what do you mean and how can pornogrpahy give you validation? Looking at naked women gives you validation?

A lot of times there are sins behind the sinful behavior. Rarely does a man truly commit adulterous behavior for the sake of sex itself His heart is searching for something deeper at a soul level outside Gods will. It’s not enough to say it’s wrong and just stop doing it. I found that poor advice very unhelpful. I found I also had an idol towards woman’s body in general . Not only a confession and repentance of lust, perversion, adultry but there are core idols to confess and repent of. What in pornography is my heart searching for… validation as a man in my case. I had and still do have to confess heart idols of approval, validation quite often before they give way to sinful behavior. If I catch my want for validation early enough, I can steer the ship away from the behavior before it even happens . It’s deep soul work to change sinful behavior at its core

Thank you for being so open. Do you have children? Either way, how do we get the message through to teens. Really I believe some sort of discussion needs to be happening before that time. How do we package the message to be abstinent when every single message around them is telling them the opposite? And how can the church support that message and back parents up?

when I once started becoming aware of the seriousness my porn issue. I realized I was getting plenty of sex from my wife and yet My heart was after something else. And it occurred to me after reading ecclesiasties 2. Solomon was chasing everything under the sun from women, accomplishment, fame, and nothing seemed to fill him. He was searching in vain for something only God could give his soul. I Started digging a bit more into understanding what is written into a man’s soul since creation that would drive a man in the way of Solomon . Little boys are asking themselves a question “am I a man?” “Do I have what it takes” this is why boys tend to be ultra competitive and aggressive they want to know “they have what it takes”. this question was meant to be answered by his father, or a group of men in community or by God. Even Jesus needed validation from the Father.
“And a voice from heaven said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.””
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭3‬:‭17‬ ‭NIV‬‬

“Then a cloud appeared and covered them, and a voice came from the cloud: “This is my Son, whom I love. Listen to him!””
‭‭Mark‬ ‭9‬:‭7‬ ‭NIV‬‬


When a boy dosent get this divine question answered he goes through physical life looking for someone or something to answer that divine question . Answering that question validates him as a man and makes him secure in his identity. He often will walk around feeling like a young boy internally even though he be physically a young man.
When that answer has been denied. You might say A man child as the secular world calls this particular issue. He may try to get his question answered by a woman or by his work. It may satisfy for a season but it’s never enough. Only masculinity can bestow masculinity …. His soul needs a father figure or God himself to answer that question or he will in vain continue to need more women, more hours at work, more to try to validate his question. Till a man steps back and stops trying to seek that validation from the woman on the screen and takes his need back to God he will continue to struggle.

hmm now I think about it that makes kind of sense

A lot of men I knew their dads left or they died and they were a bit hyper sexual. Or if their parents negelected them they became quite attention seeking, and end up becoming actors or involved in performing arts or something cos then at least they'll be seen. Even if they have to take all their clothes off for attention

what about her dad what happened to him.
why does everyone blame the mother? The dad could have taken off and didnt look after her.

Thank you for being so open. Do you have children? Either way, how do we get the message through to teens. Really I believe some sort of discussion needs to be happening before that time. How do we package the message to be abstinent when every single message around them is telling them the opposite? And how can the church support that message and back parents up?

Because her mother has been an unfit mother. Don't know where the father is and I don't think she knows. For a time her grandmother took her in, she has younger siblings. The grandmother has passed. The mother has men coming and going, not sure if drugs are involved.

the dad was an unfit dad! He wasnt even there

I had children at school, and some boys that were acting out aged 5-7
the primary principal was called, I dont know what she did, they all had male teachers...but they were a handful even with them and while they were not around, the parents were called in, and I think two of them they spoke with their mothers but I dont know if they contacted their fathers

It seemed a lot of troubled kids had no dads at home. Dads working or even overseas or just not there. All thses children craved attention.

One girl in the other school had family split up and her mum had turned lesbian. She had to look after her younger brother. She was very clingy to me.

Some young boys in Year 4 had already seen too much. Other children complained they were making sexual noises and they would use swear words etc. Parents marital problems would spill over to their children and they would disrupt the class because of all the stress of trying to be the adult in the household when they were still children when their parents were absent.

So its not just teens that its a problem. It affects children and essentially robs them of their childhood.

I believe the stats say that 70% of mass shooters in this country had no dad's in the home. I would say that is a pretty high stat. But it's never discussed after a major shooting.

pulled this from an online source you might find interesting that coincides with your stats

“IN "MY FATHER'S FACE," author James Robison tells of a federal prison chaplain who decided to improve morale. The clergyman approached a major greeting card company and asked for a donation of 500 Mother's Day cards, one for each inmate. Spotting a good PR story when they see it, the company agreed. Each inmate enthusiastically filled out a card for his mom, and morale picked up.

For Father's Day, the chaplain decided to duplicate his previous success. Again, the greeting card company agreed to donate 500 cards. But this time, the project crashed and burned. Not a single inmate -- not one -- wished to fill out a card for his dad.”

pulled this from an online source you might find interesting that coincides with your stats

“IN "MY FATHER'S FACE," author James Robison tells of a federal prison chaplain who decided to improve morale. The clergyman approached a major greeting card company and asked for a donation of 500 Mother's Day cards, one for each inmate. Spotting a good PR story when they see it, the company agreed. Each inmate enthusiastically filled out a card for his mom, and morale picked up.

For Father's Day, the chaplain decided to duplicate his previous success. Again, the greeting card company agreed to donate 500 cards. But this time, the project crashed and burned. Not a single inmate -- not one -- wished to fill out a card for his dad.”

I'm not sure you're differentiating between lust and natural, normal desire. It seems to me you're not, but I could be wrong. To have or sustain such a desire for a married woman is lust - to have it for an unmarried woman is not.

These verses from Deuteronomy 21 - rules God gave for an Israelite man who found a beautiful (captive) woman he decided he wanted to marry - would you describe these as lust, or natural desire?

10 When thou goest forth to war against thine enemies, and the Lord thy God hath delivered them into thine hands, and thou hast taken them captive,
11 And seest among the captives a beautiful woman, and hast a desire unto her, that thou wouldest have her to thy wife;
12 Then thou shalt bring her home to thine house, and she shall shave her head, and pare her nails;
13 And she shall put the raiment of her captivity from off her, and shall remain in thine house, and bewail her father and her mother a full month: and after that thou shalt go in unto her, and be her husband, and she shall be thy wife.

Lust is in the person's heart, it is not about whether the other person is married or not.
Jesus is our standard, He did not lust.

Neither did Jesus desire a member of the opposite sex to marry. So I state again that a desire to marry someone (unmarried) does not constitute lust - even in the scripture example I gave, where a soldier could identify a beautiful captive woman he would like to marry, and marry her within the month.

Well, now you are speaking about desire which is different than lust which we have already been over and over.