Is it ok for Christian Men to be in ministry to immodest women?

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Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,394
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#21
I as a guy I can testify....
Well let's just say that there's a reason why some of them women wear skirts because they fly up as they land in your lap....

Christian Single Men, who are somewhat serious about their faith, are almost like mythical unicorns...there's almost a stampede when the guy gets older. The women do throw themselves at you until one of them sticks. Hence....no single Christian men.
I never thought I was legendary, but it turns out I'm mythical! Yay!

At least I think that's a yay...
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,394
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#22
Nowadays guys should be numb to immodest clothing. At my last church, there were teenagers who came with bare midriff, very short shorts, tight jeans, etc. Even among the older women, some of them showed a lot of cleavage especially the elderly ones. I don't think it is a big deal if a male ministers to a woman. Sure there is probably a few out of a thousand who may be tempted but most of the time it is fine. The women in church are not looking to seduce.
Oh... Oh dear... You are very mistaken there. There are definitely women in churches looking to seduce.
 

Deuteronomy

Well-known member
Jun 11, 2018
3,334
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#23
Billy Graham was willing to counsel women, but only with the understanding that his office door would remain open at all times and his secretary would remain at her desk in the next room, in earshot of everything that was being said. Most of the pastors I know do so as well.

As Billy Graham said, an intentional lie, or even a simple misunderstanding of some sort, could quickly lead to the end of his ministry.

~Deuteronomy
 

timemeddler

Active member
Jul 13, 2023
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#24
doesn't help that a lot of people have very different standards of how to dress and what is immodest.
 

Butterflyyy

Well-known member
Oct 31, 2019
1,615
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#25
Nope...insufficient. there's several news stories where she was a participant.
Sadly a Youth Pastor in my friend’s Church got entangled helping a young girl with problems. His wife agreed for her to stay at their house… eventually he left his wife and has a baby with the young girl he then married her. The first wife has children with him and is no longer attending Church, neither is he.
 
N

NEWTOCHRISTIANITY

Guest
#26
Sadly a Youth Pastor in my friend’s Church got entangled helping a young girl with problems. His wife agreed for her to stay at their house… eventually he left his wife and has a baby with the young girl he then married her. The first wife has children with him and is no longer attending Church, neither is he.
Now that is sad!
 

Butterflyyy

Well-known member
Oct 31, 2019
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#27
doesn't help that a lot of people have very different standards of how to dress and what is immodest.
True but there are some very revealing clothes that are clearly not covering a woman’s body up. I also think that other certain circumstances affect what is right in this situation, for example, if the woman is young and attractive then it’s wise to leave other Christian women to minister because Jesus said whoever even looks at a woman to lust after her has committed adultery in his heart, so it seems wise to avoid being put in this predicament potentially, as this is very dangerous for marriages/relationships and not worth the risk.
 

hornetguy

Senior Member
Jan 18, 2016
7,117
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#28
Who gets to decide what is "immodest" and what is not? Should we nominate a modesty czar in church, and have all the women pass inspection before they are allowed to participate?

It is (should be) common sense to not ever (as a man) put yourself into a situation where a woman could accuse you of any impropriety. If you are counseling a female, there should be another woman in close proximity, doors remain open, etc... I would not recommend ever giving a ride to a woman without another woman that knows you, and is known/respected present.
 

Butterflyyy

Well-known member
Oct 31, 2019
1,615
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#29
Who gets to decide what is "immodest" and what is not? Should we nominate a modesty czar in church, and have all the women pass inspection before they are allowed to participate?

It is (should be) common sense to not ever (as a man) put yourself into a situation where a woman could accuse you of any impropriety. If you are counseling a female, there should be another woman in close proximity, doors remain open, etc... I would not recommend ever giving a ride to a woman without another woman that knows you, and is known/respected present.
I’m referring to obvious immodest clothing , ie: very low cut tops, very short, tight skirts, very thin, skin tight fabric short dresses, skin tight leather pants, etc.
I personally would not want my husband to give a lift to a young, attractive woman dressed like this even if I was in the car aswell.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,394
9,394
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#30
I’m referring to obvious immodest clothing , ie: very low cut tops, very short, tight skirts, very thin, skin tight fabric short dresses, skin tight leather pants, etc.
I personally would not want my husband to give a lift to a young, attractive woman dressed like this even if I was in the car aswell.
Even if you were in the car with him?

How will she get to church? Sounds like she needs God if anybody does.
 

Butterflyyy

Well-known member
Oct 31, 2019
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#31
Even if you were in the car with him?

How will she get to church? Sounds like she needs God if anybody does.
Not his responsibility-in fact-it would be wise for me to take her on my own, and to take her to a women’s meeting.
 

hornetguy

Senior Member
Jan 18, 2016
7,117
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#32
I’m referring to obvious immodest clothing , ie: very low cut tops, very short, tight skirts, very thin, skin tight fabric short dresses, skin tight leather pants, etc.
I personally would not want my husband to give a lift to a young, attractive woman dressed like this even if I was in the car aswell.
While I agree that many women dress provocatively, we also (as men) need to change the way we "see" women... I fully understand the physiological differences between the way men and women are sexually aroused, but there is also the "self control" aspect of it.
If I cannot see an attractive woman, dressed provocatively, without immediately thinking lustful thoughts, then it is my contention that there is a flaw in myself... otherwise, we need to go the way of the strict Muslims... cover all women from head to toe.

Men need to learn self control in physical and mental areas. I can look at an attractive woman, dressed provocatively and not lust... but it is a mental/spiritual issue. While it would be "better" to not deliberately put myself in those situations constantly, the occasional need to do that should be controllable through mental/spiritual discipline.

I also believe that it is normal to see an attractive woman, and appreciate/enjoy the fact that she is attractive, with out thinking lustfully about her.
 

Edify

Well-known member
Jan 27, 2021
1,559
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#33
While I agree that many women dress provocatively, we also (as men) need to change the way we "see" women... I fully understand the physiological differences between the way men and women are sexually aroused, but there is also the "self control" aspect of it.
If I cannot see an attractive woman, dressed provocatively, without immediately thinking lustful thoughts, then it is my contention that there is a flaw in myself... otherwise, we need to go the way of the strict Muslims... cover all women from head to toe.

Men need to learn self control in physical and mental areas. I can look at an attractive woman, dressed provocatively and not lust... but it is a mental/spiritual issue. While it would be "better" to not deliberately put myself in those situations constantly, the occasional need to do that should be controllable through mental/spiritual discipline.

I also believe that it is normal to see an attractive woman, and appreciate/enjoy the fact that she is attractive, with out thinking lustfully about her.
We are all flawed. I am happy you exercise self-control, but we can't control the other person, neither control how many devils are sent to tempt us.
Every man needs to watch himself, for as soon as he thinks he's standing stable he can fall. (1 Corinthians 10:12).
We all from time to time forget about others. Even though I could control myself, should I walk such a woman into a church whose men cannot? That would do more harm than good. In some people's eyes it would be like personally walking the Devil in with me.
Then there's that scripture about not let your good be evil spoken of. What would those little old ladies think of a christian man bringing in a scantly clothed woman? "He can pick 'em, can't he?"
 

Mem

Senior Member
Sep 23, 2014
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#34
What if a man walked into a church wearing speedos? Wouldn't someone at least comment to him that a brother would be glad to provide him a decent pair of trousers?
 

Edify

Well-known member
Jan 27, 2021
1,559
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#35
What if a man walked into a church wearing speedos? Wouldn't someone at least comment to him that a brother would be glad to provide him a decent pair of trousers?
Point taken.:)
Perhaps we could use someone like yourself to explain the flip side of the coin? We men sometimes forget that women have feelings too.
 

Mem

Senior Member
Sep 23, 2014
7,159
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#36
...."Hey man, your attire is distracting to the wimmens, and quite frankly, draws the attention of the other guys as much... for the love of God, try on these khakis!" :ROFL:
 

Mem

Senior Member
Sep 23, 2014
7,159
2,174
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#37
To be serious. I'm sure that we could take counsel toward ministering, whether man or woman, to any "immodest" women from scripture that directs women to regard their person value in terms of character rather than from any article of adornment. In her (misguided) mind, her only value is either concealed or exposed to be "shown" off or hidden by clothing. And it would seem to me that giving any attention to such superficial worth would seem to only reinforce this idea. On the other hand, encouraging her to bare her mind, her heart might rather reveal to her what the Christian regards as a woman's true substance.
 

Mem

Senior Member
Sep 23, 2014
7,159
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#38
Anyway, if anybody came over to my house wearing a thong, I wouldn't be backward about commenting about the buns they brought to the picnic, and not so much about the condition of them, whether flat or split-topped, but that I was thinking more of the ones that go better with ham, green beans, and potatoes.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,394
9,394
113
#39
While I agree that many women dress provocatively, we also (as men) need to change the way we "see" women... I fully understand the physiological differences between the way men and women are sexually aroused, but there is also the "self control" aspect of it.
If I cannot see an attractive woman, dressed provocatively, without immediately thinking lustful thoughts, then it is my contention that there is a flaw in myself... otherwise, we need to go the way of the strict Muslims... cover all women from head to toe.

Men need to learn self control in physical and mental areas. I can look at an attractive woman, dressed provocatively and not lust... but it is a mental/spiritual issue. While it would be "better" to not deliberately put myself in those situations constantly, the occasional need to do that should be controllable through mental/spiritual discipline.

I also believe that it is normal to see an attractive woman, and appreciate/enjoy the fact that she is attractive, with out thinking lustfully about her.
I have found that if I focus on a lady's eyes, to determine what she is thinking... It doesn't do one doggone bit of good, but it does keep my eyes off other things. ;)
 
N

NEWTOCHRISTIANITY

Guest
#40
Anyway, if anybody came over to my house wearing a thong, I wouldn't be backward about commenting about the buns they brought to the picnic, and not so much about the condition of them, whether flat or split-topped, but that I was thinking more of the ones that go better with ham, green beans, and potatoes.
Hilarious stuff!