There's no "The One"

Exactly. It's okay to want something and pursue it, but not to the point that it becomes more important than God.

I've seen people make gods out of everything - facebook, alcohol, motorcycle club, drugs, sports, food, video games - something they pour their whole lives into chasing, because they believe they can make that their identity and get comfort and purpose from it.

Some people have made the concept of getting married and having kids their god. They think it will make their lives complete, and they consider their lives incomplete without it.

Problem is, no spouse can live up to that kind of expectation. You can't find anybody good enough to meet that goal.

Don't get me wrong... Someday I'd like to meet a nice lady and eventually marry her. But I'm not gonna wrap my whole life around that objective. I will never let it be my god.

Ha, thanks... I often joke that my life plays in Heaven as a Truman Show-esque sitcom that entertains the angels . But you probably wouldn't find me that interesting if you knew me better, I spend most of my time working and pondering the dark mysteries of existence. Appreciate the compliment though! And I'm slowly learning that a word spoken in due season is the most effective way to be honest. Because even when my comments are 100% correct they can still be 0% helpful lol .

So, it sounds like, based on the post I quoted, that you kinda DO believe in "The One"? I definitely agree that marriage and male/female relationships are a huge part of God's plan for life here on Earth. And the vast majority of us do seem to partake in them, so that checks out. But I can't think of a verse or passage that promises that God has a special someone for everyone . And what about those like @Cold or @Noel25 , who don't even like the idea of having a "One"? Or @Lynx, who is contently indifferent? In that case would there only be a "One" for the ones who want one? I'm not arguing here, just trying to understand your position on the matter.

I wish I had something more encouraging to tell you. I'm pretty bitter right now at the opposite sex in general, and negative when it comes to dating, marriage, etc. Not having a bonafide date in 13+ years does that to you. All I can say to you is, it may still happen for you. But, it may also be best to seek God's peace, despite the longing for the emotional, as well as the sexual intimacy a marriage (should) bring. I am asking for Him to become my everything... for the gift of celibacy, for contentment in all circumstances, etc. Not that any of those have yet to be answered, but it's either continue praying for those things or go out and sin.

I'm not sure that, with the exception of Neo, there's a "one". Although, arguably, Adam had a "one". But, in this crazy loony world, there could be so many things that could hinder meeting such a person. Surely we now have, with over 7 billion people, more than one option.

Faceless... I hear some of what you're saying. Wanting a wife has been an idol for me, and while God did let me marry 20 years ago (the 29th of this month), He hasn't let me remarry after her death 15 years ago.

However, I do understand what you mean when you say that it would be nice to have the physical aspect of that relationship. I agree wholeheartedly. It is very hard for me to be content when it seems, even at 59, that my libido's not going anywhere.

So, currently I am having less and less hope that this "desire of my heart" is even going to be met. Or, if it is, not until I'm 90. And, frankly -- and this will tick some people off, oh well! -- I do not want my next sexual experience to be with a 90yo. So, I have prayed for the gift of celibacy, even though something inside me seems to push back on that. I'm doing it anyway. I need peace. And, until God becomes, finally, my "all in all", this is my only recourse.

I wish I had something more encouraging to tell you. I'm pretty bitter right now at the opposite sex in general, and negative when it comes to dating, marriage, etc. Not having a bonafide date in 13+ years does that to you. All I can say to you is, it may still happen for you. But, it may also be best to seek God's peace, despite the longing for the emotional, as well as the sexual intimacy a marriage (should) bring. I am asking for Him to become my everything... for the gift of celibacy, for contentment in all circumstances, etc. Not that any of those have yet to be answered, but it's either continue praying for those things or go out and sin.

A new approach to find "the one" might be warranted where the tactics employed have yet to bear fruit. I mean, like, 'be' as much 'one' with a prospect before 'confirming' on the wedding day and the subsequent "sealing" of it on the wedding night. How hard would that be?

I understand, but sometimes... sometimes I wish to have someone who I can love physically.

Yes as long as God remains the one you continuously chase everything else will fall into line. I did not have enough faith now, I am a solo mum to three kids, we were unequally yoked. I have now left it in God's hands as I should have done to begin with, but hey we all do silly things when we are young.

Absolutely. Hope that you find the 'one'. I know that I have. This is definitely worth praying for if you are so inclined and it's your heart's desire.

I believe with all my heart that because I have prayed for God to bring His choice of man to be my husband, that He will. I reckon if God knows the number of hairs on my head then He would also care about who I marry. It is extremely difficult to wait, sometimes…however, tiredness can worsen it… and I know the Lord has always been there for me to depend on. There is a void in my heart only Jesus can fill even if I had the best husband in the World. I guess ultimately the answer lies in truly trusting Him.
Hope deferred makes the heart sick… so I don’t want to lose hope, it’s a precious thing. God bless 🙂

Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ,

Hello, I hope all is well. If not, I welcome you to message me, that I may lift you up.

I am saddened and hurt by the frustration, upsets, and hurt that I see here. I have been single all my life, so I understand. I have been searching for "The One" myself for several months now.

As much as I agree that the only one we need is Christ, God understands that "It is not good for a man to be alone" and that "It is better to marry than to burn with passion." I would daresay that it is not good for a woman to be alone either.

I am sure that you all have heard, perhaps to the point of cliche, to ask and trust God about this matter. I won't bore you with such, but I would highly recommend it!

I hope that you all struggling and suffering here know that He understands and cares. That may be easy for me to say because my search for a godly woman is going well, despite me still being single, lol.

I have several godly friends supporting me through this time, and I find this burden easy to bear because I guess I trust God with my needs and wants; by the way, I am a new convert, so I am sure you can understand my newfound enthusiasm, haha!

My Orthodox friend wished that, at the Tower of Babbel, God would just send Her Person to her in a language that she spoke---perhaps a love language or two, haha!

I recommend that you vent here and pray for breakthrough, which I have. God is so mighty and loving that I believe He will answer you well, and in His unusual, but amazing time!

I am searching for My Person in both church and dating apps, for which I thank God for filters regarding religion!

Lord God Almighty, I pray that my brothers and sisters here lean and depend on you greatly regarding this challenge, and I humbly remind them and myself that our concerns and problems are so small compared to how big you are! May they find rest and learn to make use of the wait!

By the way, I was taught the Soverignty of God at a young age, and, as much as I wish the Tower of Babbel had a specifically happier ending, I enjoy watching God work, even toward this biological drive!

All Spiritual (And Even Material) Blessings of Christ unto You,
Brian A. Shuttlewood

Thanks for your support, comment and prayers. God will give you the person you so seek. Put faith first in God and he'll do. God bless you.

Well... Maybe.

Sometimes people seek God first and realize there is no one for them. But the more they seek God, the more that doesn't matter to them.

If it doesn't matter to them, good for them. When it matters to some is another story; their story.

I think what he is relating to you is that when you only know one thing, you don't realize that there are better things out there. My kids used to think ice was a great dessert until their grandparents gave them ice cream.

There exists a life that is so satisfying in God that causes all else to pale in comparison. That's what Psalm 23 is all about.

It might be helpful to read Matthew 11:1-6. John the Baptist finds himself in prison after having done all God asked him to do. After reminding him that everything is going just as the word of God said it would, Jesus makes an incredible statement...And blessed is he, whosoever is not offended in me. What was He saying? Blessing is found in being content with the way God is circumscribing the events of your life. He knows what He's doing.

Thank your for your opinion. That being said don't assume what I do or don't realize. I'm pretty wise, and to be honest, above most. (Yes, I understand that I should allow God to hand me modesty). I find most "Christians" to be one track minds, with almost no education. I don't blame them. That was their choice. I made mine. What God offers is Spiritual. Ask a starving child to trust on God and feed on that and not give them any physical food that they can feed on. See how well that works? We're assuming that God is this magical entity who does things the way he does, and then dusts or shrugs it off. He gave us these needs for a reason. If not they wouldn't be there. I can debate Bible all day, but I don't have the energy to do so right now. I agree with one thing; God knows what He's doing.
And no, I don't think that's what John refers to in Matthew (about having a partner or not), and if I'm not mistaken David had six wives... So... I don't think he was celibate.

I get it. Your desire for a wife is greater than your desire for what God wants for you. That's why you have no contentment. That's what Matthew 11:6 is speaking to. The blessing is to be found in being ok with what God chooses.
I offered you scripture as one who has been in the same place and experienced the same thing, and what God showed me. When God is truly your Shepherd, you have no such wants...Psalm 23:1. The truth is, you aren't finding your satisfaction in God.
I haven't shared these things to harm or hinder you. Even if you got married today, you won't find ongoing satisfaction in it until you are first satisfied in God. Otherwise, you will be trying to find in a spouse the satisfaction that God alone can give.
But the choice is yours. I wish you all the best. Grace and peace.